Methos the milk maid and The Watchers?
Le Blues Bar Paris.
Methos sat at a table with his back to the wall facing the door to the bar, he had been nursing the same drink for over 30 minutes awaiting the arrival of MacLeod. Impatience had finally taken over and Methos downed the warm spirit as he walked over to the bar. Joe had finished handing the change to a customer; who was leaving as Methos approached the bar.
"Same again Me… err Adam?"
Methos smiled at his old friend and said…
"Sure Joe, nice recovery there by the way, wouldn't want anyone knowing my real name would we?"
Both men burst out laughing at the irony of the remark; since the customer who left, that Joe had been serving, had been the only other person in the bar at the time.
"Wonder where MacLeod is Joe he was supposed to be here a half hour ago."
"Search me Methos…"
"You don't know where MacLeod is Joe? You're his watcher old buddy you're supposed to know."
The half smile Methos had on his face as he spoke made Joe start laughing again as he replied…
"Well pardon me all the way to hell I do have a bar to run as well as keep track of Mac you know pal."
"Yea and I can see you're run of your feet, tell me is this place always this busy?"
Before the banter could go any further Methos turned to the door as the presence of another approaching immortal washed over him. MacLeod came through the door with another immortal that Methos had met previously and knew wasn't a threat to him.
"Well finally Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod favours us with his presence Joe, and look who else has turned up."
"Sorry Methos I had to pick Fitz up from the airport that's why I'm late."
"No problem MacLeod, just as a point of interest Alexander Graham Bell was a great guy he invented the telephone, you know the thing you use to call people and tell them you are going to be late!"
The sarcastic tone of Methos' voice was answered by the Highlander.
"Just one thing Methos my cell battery died so I couldn't call you, and before you say anything you might lose your head for I was on the country roads trying to get back here as fast as I could and there aren't any call boxes on those roads you know."
Fitz broke into the conversation with…
"Look Methos old chap it wasn't Mac's fault really it wasn't, we were making good time until the incident with the milk maid don't you know."
Methos looked at MacLeod shrugged his shoulders and asked…
"What the hell is Fitzcairn talking about, bloody milk maid incident, Why is it every time he's around there is some kind of female involvement that usually ends up with there being trouble?"
MacLeod looked sheepishly at Methos as he tried to explain yet another Fitz dalliance.
"Ok we were travelling on this back road I know, it's much faster than the motorway usually. Everything was fine until we had to stop for a herd of cows that had wandered onto the road. Fitz got out and tried to shoo the cows out of the way."
Methos rolled his eyes as he asked…
"So where did the milk maid come into it?"
Fitz held his hand up and said, much to the amusement of MacLeod…
"let me explain laddie, I chased the cows, well some of them into a field and it was then I saw her, Oh Methos old chap you should have seen her…"
In unison MacLeod and Methos said…
"She was a beauty."
Fitz looked at them as he took his pipe from his jacket pocket and lit it before saying…
"You have to be crass don't you, I can't help it if beautiful women seem to fall at my feet, it's my curse, and you two have no soul."
The Highlander and Methos were struggling to keep straight faces as MacLeod said…
"Sorry Fitz I, we just couldn't help it please carry on with the story."
"Seeing as you asked nicely Mac, yes the milk maid she was, well you know, anyway I smiled at her and asked if I could do anything to help get the cows back into the field, she said no thank you but I could help her with something important in the barn, once the cows were back where they belonged. Well needless to say I couldn't leave a lady in distress…"
MacLeod interrupted with…
"You couldn't leave a lady in any kind of dress for too long Fitz."
Fitz tried to look shocked as his voice cracked a little…
"Really Mac there are limits you know, I behaved like a perfect gentleman don't you know."
"How long did that last Fitz."
Methos inquired.
"Well actually until we got into the barn old chap and then she leapt on me in a most unladylike manner. Needless to say I became lost in the moment well actually about 45 minutes, that is until Mac came and rescued me."
"Hang on Fitz you certainly didn't look like you needed rescuing, it took me all my time to drag you out of there with you all the time saying just another half hour please, you randy bugger."
"Mac I was just caught up in the moment, you know how that is, anyway I thought this was a bar and I haven't seen any sign of a drink since we walked in."
Joe poured four large measures of Whisky and the four men sat down around a table close to the bar. Fitz thinking to change the subject matter and get the topic of every ones amusement changed asked Methos…
"So when did you find out about the Watchers Methos, I know Mac only found out a short while ago, so how did you discover them?"
Methos looked at Joe and said…
"How long have you known me old buddy?"
Joe scratched his beard and replied…
"About ten years give or take, ever since I met you at Watcher headquarters."
"Well what I am about to tell you may surprise you Joe and seeing as the three of you are my oldest friends, even though you are only a kid Joe compared to us I want you to hear how I got involved with the Watchers."
MacLeod looked at Fitz and Joe and said…
"This should be interesting might not be the truth but interesting it will be."
"Bloody Hell MacLeod I don't tell that many lies and what I am about to tell you all is the truth."
Joe sat upright in his chair as he urged Methos to get on with the story…
"I not only got involved with the Watchers I actually created them…"
After a long pause that Methos deliberately used for effect Joe said …
"That's BS Methos and you know it."
Smiling Methos looked Joe in the eye and replied…
"Are you 100% sure of that old buddy. Here's how it started, I was known as Ammaletu the Akkadian back in 2800 or 2700 BC or thereabouts. The king of Uruk was a guy called Gilgamesh. He had a friend Enkidu a real nasty piece of work, he made Kurgan look like a choir boy. I killed Enkidu and that really pissed off Gilgamesh he set about tracking me with the intention of killing me in revenge for his friends death."
Joe interrupted…
"Methos that is all in the chronicles and you could have read it during your time in the archive section."
"That's true Joe I could have done that but I didn't. Getting back to what I was telling you. Gilgamesh finally tracked me down and we faced each other, I sliced and diced him and was about to take his head when we were interrupted by some local villagers. They saw him die and come back to life so I told them that this man their King who had just resurrected in front of them was an immortal and there were others like him who needed watching. I recruited them to be the first ever Watchers. I gave myself the job of watching Gilgamesh and it wasn't long before I took his head and disappeared from the scene. The Watcher symbol was on an amulet I had been carrying I had others made to give to the first Watchers. We now have tattoos but back then it was an amulet that was carried, the outer annulus has 13 spots on it, my joke is that, that represents the 13 tribes of Israel, or 13 witches. That is how the Watchers started and that is how over the millennia I have managed to evade some of the worst and most dangerous immortals and why I am here to tell the tale. When there's a threat I seek refuge in the Watchers and escape the threat for 10 or 15 years."
MacLeod looked at Fitz and Joe and with conviction in his voice told Methos…
"Well old friend I'm sold, I believe you even if no one else does."