It wasn't exactly routine, their visit. Heaven knows that's what it was becoming however, especially when it seemed she had a connection to every case, direct or indirect, but he and Collins knocked twice to no answer on Miss Fisher's front door.
"Perhaps everyone's out."
Jack checked his watch. "Everyone?" It was still early in the day. "What could Miss Fisher possibly have in store for everyone in-"
A scream and indistinct yelling tore through the house and both men bolted through the door.
"Dottie!"
"Phryne!" He drew his firearm. This was certainly not the first time an unwelcome guest cause problems and his chest seized at the memory of Foyle and at the thought of a new threat.
From the kitchen, the rustling of scraping chairs and pots clanging alerted them of the commotion and Miss Williams yelled, "Use the knife!"
"Knife? I'm not bloody going near it with a ten foot pole," he heard Bert reply.
He and Collins fit the best they could through the small door to the ruction of the kitchen. The remnant of a teacup and the beverage were strewn across the table and floor and Dot, Bert, and Cec stood in defensive stances around a cabinet. Miss Fisher, of course, stood perfectly at ease in the midst of the chaos.
"Is everything alright?" He asked tentatively, rewarded with everyone's attention.
"No it's not bloody alright," Bert hollered, and jabbed his finger at the corner they were huddled around. "Not when that thing-"
Jack looked quizzically at the empty paneling and tile. "What thing?"
"That thing right-Where did it go?! Look, now you made us lose track of it."
"Lose track of what? What is it?" His eyes darted from corner to cranny. A bat? A snake?
"A spider," Phryne clarified with a shake if her head, swaying the feathers of her hair band.
"Not just any spider, Miss. A huntsman. They're lightning fast, and huge, especially the females. They're the ones you gotta watch out for."
Phryne hummed in agreement. "Always," she sang, smiling coquettishly at Jack, and he wasn't sure if the stirring in his gut was from her or that a large spider was very possibly near him.
"How big is it?" Hugh asked behind him.
Bert splayed his fingers and displayed his palm. "'Bout the size of my hand. Probably larger."
"Hugh catch it!" Dot called across the room, and without looking he knew his Constable had turned to mush.
"Of course, Dottie," he said clearing his throat, voice unnaturally high. "Ah Cec, Bert, weren't you-Weren't you already catching it though?"
"Not on my life."
"Hey," Cec started. "Don't we have that job, Bert."
"What job?"
"Y'know, the one that we have to do," he drew out until his mate caught on.
"Right. that job." He navigated carefully around the fallen chair and distance back to the table as he would a minefield and retrieved his hat, "Sorry Miss, we've gotta leave for some important business. Love to help you catch that Shiela, though." He handed her the knife on his way out.
Phryne arched an eyebrow and smirked. "Of course. Next time then, gentlemen." She turned to Jack and Hugh again, her smile wide. "How lucky we are City South's best and bravest are here to save the day as usual."
Jack could only play along, used to by now, how quickly events always shifted into her favor and his displeasure. "Just doing our jobs, Miss Fisher. Constable," he gestured.
"Uh, right, Inspector." Hugh ventured into the room, baton at the ready.
Miss Williams gasped, tugging on Hugh's sleeve. "There it is!"
Jack didn't catch sight of the spider, but he would swear that was the fastest he'd ever seen Collins move inside or outside of the ring, and his Constable now stood on a chair.
Mr. Butler returned from wherever he had been, glass jelly jar in hand and presented it to Phryne. "Here you are, Miss. Are you sure it's big enough?"
"It should be fine, I think. Thank you very much, Mr. Butler," she said and she turned to him once more. "Don't move, Jack," Phryne commanded in that tone of hers that signaled he was in for grief.
"Why?" he dared to ask, but he knew before Collins even pointed it out. "It's right there next to your shoe, Sir," he whispered, as if the intruder could understand them.
Bert wasn't exaggerating about the size of the thing, and more than he cared to admit, the proximity of the spider to his leg brought on a rush of nerve like a criminal standoff. He obeyed Miss Fisher, and she stepped deliberately across the distance to him, ready to pounce and trap it. When she neared, about a step or two away, the spider sensed her and scurried a few tentative inches; Jack instinctively took two steps back.
It bolted then, taking off down the hallway, Phryne giving chase after it as she sighed. "I told you not to move, Inspector."
She was quick, (must be that Judo training, or fencing, or whatever dangerous hobby she was adding to her skillset now) and she trapped the spider in jar. "I need a folder or board or something," she motioned.
Despite himself, he handed her the case file he had brought over to discuss. Phryne slipped it under the jar, flipped it, and Mr. Butler, lid in hand, worked with her to seal it.
"Marvelous work, Miss. As always."
Phryne held the jar up, smiling viciously; a huntress victorious. "Why, thank you, Mr. Butler."
She walked to Jack-sashayed more like, but he kept his gaze trained on hers, unwilling to admit she had bested him again. "Nabbed our little friend, for you, as usual."
Jack rolled his eyes, unsure whether to laugh, correct her, or both. "Right," he said, taking the jar from her and peering at the specimen. "Should I take him down to the precinct for breaking and entering?"
"You can take her outside and set her free. That's where she belongs."
He glanced sidelong at her. "And if she keeps coming back?"
"You'll be here, won't you? Although I do believe she enjoys the thrill of the chase." She pursed her lips in mock thought. "Or is it the hunt?"
"It's in her nature," he countered.
"Precisely."
Jack watched her move to the parlor, ready for when he returned. Ignoring that Collins, Miss Williams, and Mr. Butler were suddenly finding something to occupy themselves with, he went to set the spider free, mindful, as he could feel Miss Fisher's eyes from the window, that some species of spiders devoured their mates.
I have lived in the jungle my whole life and I have always had giant spiders in my house. I live in the desert now, and that still hasn't changed.
