(Authoress' Note) Well hello there. I'm happy you decided to read my story. This is the first story I have posted on fan fiction so it may be incredibly lame. I assure you, however, that I have been writing for a very long time and I am very grammar OCD, so even if the story sucks, the grammar and spelling will be awesome. J Please enjoy the story, and if you don't, I deeply apologize and hope that you enjoy the next story you read more.

WARNINGS: Hidan being himself, possible severing of appendages and thoughts of sacrifice.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in this story. I do, however, own everything else…in the world.

Conversion Method

"Senpai!"

Deidara couldn't help but cringe a little at the sound of Tobi's voice. Every time the strange boy came near him he could just feel his IQ drop.

"Senpai! Where are you?"

The blonde bomber certainly had no desire to be discovered by the nuisance, so he discretely dropped the piece of toast he had been eating and scurried out of the kitchen and down the hallway. He knew that he couldn't go back to his room. That was the first place the little pest would search for him. He hurriedly ran down the long hall that housed the Akatsuki members' bedrooms.

He could hear the masked man's voice coming closer and closer to the head of the hallway. It was like a scene from a horror movie, only Deidara would much have preferred a murdering psychopath after him than a Tobi. Deidara knew he only had mere seconds before he was discovered, so without thinking he threw open the closest door and hurled himself inside. He slammed the door shut and leaned his back against it; eyes closed and breaths coming out in short pants.

"What the fuck are you doing, Blondie?"

Deidara's eyes flew open and he took a look around the room. He realized that he was in Hidan's room. The silver haired man was laying on his bed, propped up on his elbows and staring at Deidara with a mix of confusion, annoyance and amusement.

"Hey, dumb ass, I asked you a fucking question."

For a moment Deidara didn't know what to say. He hadn't meant to burst into Hidan's room like that. He had been desperate. He decided that telling Hidan the truth was worth a shot. The Jashinist might feel sorry for him and have mercy. Not likely, but maybe.

"Tobi is looking for me, un. I needed somewhere to hide."

"Well you can go fucking hide elsewhere. I'm trying to sleep, damn it."

Deidara could hear Tobi outside wandering up and down the hall while calling his name. There was no way he could leave the room without being spotted.

"No, please, un. Just let me stay for a little while!" the blonde haired boy begged.

"No," came the uncaring reply. "Relocate yourself."

"Please! I'm begging you, un! I'll be quiet and let you sleep and I'll just sit right here and mind my own business until he leaves! Just please don't send me out there!"

Hidan smirked in amusement as he watched the other man drop to his knees and clasp his hands in front of him. The Jashinist rubbed his chin thoughtfully, as if thinking about it.

"No," he said again. "Now get the hell out."

Deidara stared up at him for a moment, trying to decide if he was serious. He expression said he was. Deidara stood up from the ground and crossed his arms. He huffed loudly and pouted like a little child.

"I'm not leaving, un."

Hidan's expression grew dark. He did not like people refusing his orders. He stood up from the bed and moved to stand in front the young blonde.

"Get the fuck out of my room," he demanded.

"NO!" the blonde bomber yelled childishly.

"YES!" the silver haired man cried, equally as childishly, and grabbed the smaller man by his shoulders, trying to force him out the door.

"No, un! I'm not going out there! You can't make me! Let me go, un!"

"If you don't get the fuck out of my room you heathen ass hat, I'm going to sacrifice you to Jashin and use your fucking dead carcass as a fucking rug duster!"

"We don't even have any rugs to dust because Kakuzu is a cheap bastard, now let me go, un!"

Hidan growled savagely and attempted to beat the wall to death with Deidara's head. The blonde retaliated by allowing his hand mouths to try and eat the older man's face off. They were still fighting like rabid mongooses when the sound attracted a curious Tobi. Both of the fighting men froze when they heard Tobi's voice outside the door.

"Hidan-san, are you ok in there? If not, Tobi can help you because Tobi is a good boy!"

"Look at what you've done!" Hidan whispered angrily. "Your incessant man squealing has drawn it to us. Now we're both fucked!"

"Hey! Don't blame this on me, un," Deidara argued back. "If you would have just let me sit quietly in a corner or something he would have eventually gotten bored and found someone else to bother. This is all your fault, un!"

"Senpai! I hear you in there Senpai! Come out and play with me. Tobi is a good boy!"

Both of the other men ignored the shouts from the other side of the door.

"Now you listen to me you girly man bitch, none of this is my fault. I was just laying there trying to take a Jashin damned nap and you burst in here like Jashin Himself was after you. Now get the hell out."

Deidara's face suddenly became pleading. "Please Hidan, un. Just don't make me go out there. I'll do anything. Anything, un! Just don't send me back!"

A sadistic smile spread over the Jashinist's face.

"Well then, I think we may be able to work something out."

Kisame exited his room and turned to walk down the hall. He saw Tobi sitting in front of Hidan's room with his ear pressed to the door.

"Damn it, Tobi! What did I tell you about being creepy!" He rushed over and lifted the smaller boy up by his shoulders. "We don't listen to what other people are doing in their rooms. Bad boy, Tobi! Bad boy!"

"But, Kisame," Tobi whimpered, "Deidara-Senpai is in there!"

Just then they heard a high pitched girly scream followed by a manic laugh from the other side of the door.

"Bow down to Jashin, you heathen bitch! You will accept him as your God! You will worship him and abide by him! Now cut off your fucking arm. CUT IT OFF!"

Kisame paled slightly. He looked down at the mask wearing boy.

"Come on Tobi, let's go get some ice cream."

"But we have to save Senpai!"

"Tobi, everyone knows you don't fuck with Hidan while he's trying to convert people. We can come get Deidara and his body parts when Hidan is done. Now go to the damn kitchen and eat the ice cream!"

"Ok Kisame-san! Tobi is a good boy! Bye Senpai!" he shouted over his shoulder as they walked down the hall.

"No, Tobi! Don't leave me, un!"

A few hours later Hidan exited his room humming a happy tune and twirling his rosary between his bloodied fingers with a scowling Deidara following closely behind.

"So, Blondie, now that you're a Jashinist, you're going to have to find someone to sacrifice."

Deidara didn't even have to think about it.

"Tobi!" he yelled sweetly. "Would you like to come play with Senpai?"

~The End…for Tobi~

(Authoress' Note) Well, there it is; short, sweet and to the point. I hope you didn't find this a total waste of the three to seven minutes it took you to read it. It would be oh so kind of you to review, even if you did think it was utter crap.

- Any review is good! I don't mind flames. They will amuse me. I'm a major pyromaniac. (not kidding)-

Thank You

- Raven (Yes, that is my name and no, I'm not black)