Once again, Hikaru felt the soft brush of foreign skin against his hand as he walked along down the main street next to his girlfriend Kaori, and once again, he hesitated. He knew that when a girl walked close enough to a boy to let their fingers touch it meant that she wanted to hold his hand, but for some reason each time he felt it, it made him just a little more uneasy. He'd never held a hand that wasn't his twin brothers before, and the idea of being so intimate with someone else set him on edge. He risked a nervous side glance at the girl next to him, but nothing in her seemingly content expression told him anything about what was running through her mind. He swallowed dryly, and decided to move away, just an inch to put some space between them, but was too late. He felt her fingers close around his, and their hands were drawn together.

He tried not to react as he felt his whole body stiffen. Her hand was soft and gentle, but it felt like such an imposter against his palm. It was smaller than Kaorus, the fingers just a touch shorter, the joints slightly thicker. It didn't feel right to hold, and it only made him that much more aware of his brothers absence, sending an odd sense of guilt shooting through him.

"Mmm… its starting to get dark, maybe we should head home."

Koari's gentle voice cut through Hikarus thoughts, and his attention was snapped back to the present. Looking around, he saw that she was right and the sun was going down. All around them, the cafes and stalls were being packed and closed up for the night, while the restaurants and bars were setting out their night menus and swinging open their doors.

"Yeah, I guess so." He answered, eyeing off a table at a nearby Italian place. "Do you want to get something to eat before we do?"

She agreed, and Hiraku lead her over to the restaurant, choosing an outdoor table situated near one of the standing heaters. The place had a quaint alfresco set up, with soft lighting and a wooden deck, and it was a place that Hikaru greatly enjoyed. In fact, it was the same restaurant he and his brother Kaoru had eaten on their first night of summer vacation when they arrived in the little town, but he would never admit to anyone that that's why we chose it for his last.

The food was good, the conversation entertaining, but sitting there with her instead of him just gave everything a slightly duller edge, and Hikaru found that he just wasnt enjoying himself, something that, to his dismay, didn't go unnoticed.

"Hikaru, do you really like me?"

The question threw him, and for a moment he sat there in silence.

"O-of course I do!" he tried to laugh, but the sound jarred in his ears. "You're wonderful, I like spending time with you."

It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either, and the guilt that he had been supressing for days started to eat away at him again. Truth be told, Hikaru had only returned her interest because he was feeling neglected by his brother, but by the time he had cooled his head, he was in too deep to find a way out. The knot in his stomach twisted uncomfortably as he watched a grin spread out on her face.

"I like spending time with you too Hikaru! It's such a shame tonights the last night of vacation," his heart skipped a beat as she shot him a coy smile from under her lashes. "I really don't want to leave you tomorrow…"

He could only manage an awkward smile back at her before quickly suggesting that they head off.

Back on the main street, they hailed a taxi to take them back to her villa. Like Hikaru, Kaori came from a well off family, and they owned their own property around this area. In fact, the twins had met her a few times before at functions and gatherings, and the knowledge that she had always shown a particular interest in them twisted the guilty feeling in Hikarus stomach. Truth be told, he was taking advantage of her feelings, something he certainly wasn't proud of, and deeply regretted.

She lead him upstairs to her bedroom, a now familiar setting for the pair. He took a seat on the end of the bed, but stayed silent while she pottered around, hanging up her jacket and putting her bag away. He glanced around nervously, feeling awkward and out of place. More than anything he wished he could climb into bed next to his brother and curl up against him like he hadn't been able to do in what felt like such a long time, even though it had been less than forty eight hours. He had spent a few nights of the summer vacation with his girlfriend in this room, and had lost a lot of sleep. Not because they were doing anything in particular, simply because Hikaru just did not sleep well next to someone who wasn't his twin.

As if on cue, Kaori sat down on the bed next to Hikaru, uncomfortably close. Before he could find an excuse to move away, she had leaned in and pressed their lips together. Of course they had kissed before, but it only worsened the guilt Hikaru felt. His hands curled into fists on the mattress as her mouth moved against his, and before long, he pulled away.

"It's getting pretty late…" he tried to act nonchalant about it, but failed miserably. "I should probably get home…"

His words were cut off by Kaori's lips back on his. His eyes widened in surprise as he registered the determination behind her movements, and his hands instinctively closed around her shoulders. His mind reeled, trying to make sense of what was going on as he tried again to pull away, only to find his shirt being pulled up over his head.

"Whoa, whoa Kaori wait!"

She had abandoned his mouth now, and her lips were making their way down over the skin of his jaw and neck, her hands running down his back. Hikaru could feel his body responding, and he tried desperately to supress it. He didn't want this, he didn't want to be here, he had to stop her.

"Kaori, just hold on a-" He hissed a breath between his teeth as he felt a sharp pain near his collar bone, and instinctively shoved the girl by the shoulders back away from him. The air around them was tense as they stared into each other's eyes, Hikarus confusion being met with an almost overwhelming determination.

He swallowed dryly before speaking.

"Kaori… I'm sorry but I really don't think this is a good idea…" his words trailed off as he saw her face fall.

Silently, she moved away from him on the bed, looking down at the floor. He could tell she was utterly dejected, and he was at a complete loss. Not knowing what else to do, Hikaru picked up his shirt from where it had fallen on the floor, and pulled it back on.

"You really don't like me do you?"

A stab of guilt shot through Hikarus stomach at her small voice. He ground his teeth together, trying to think of a way to put it without hurting her even more.

"Its… not that I don't like you, Kaori, because I do, really…" he shifted uncomfortably. "I guess I'm just not comfortable with this kind of thing… like, at all…" his words trailed off as he stared at his hands. More than anything he just wished he could see his brother.

Kaori sniffed, still looking at the floor.

"You should go."

He glanced at her, slightly started at her bluntness, but couldn't see her face behind her curtain of hair. With a small sigh, he stood up and, when she didn't say anything else, awkwardly shuffled towards the door. On one hand, he was relieved to be out of that situation, but on the other, he felt terrible for leading her on the way he did. He knew she wanted more out of their relationship, and he knew he couldn't give it to her, but he kept playing along. Why? He could hardly even remember the reason.

Pulling his jacket on, he set off back towards his family's villa, and back towards his twin.