be cat
This story is somewhat inspired by the world of text-based adventures, where you would type a command to do something. The word 'be' and a name seems to convey character quite well. It allows this story to be told from a first-person perspective, whilst also allowing me to switch between characters sharply without breaking the story's flow.
Or, in short:
be Tumblebrutus
Wow. It feels good to get a moment to talk. It feels like i've spent a lifetime listening to my brother rabbit on and on. You won't get that level of excitability from me though. Frankly, you'll be lucky if I don't spend half of this story asleep.
Or doing backflips. Either is a distinct possibility.
Picture the scene – the night fell a few hours ago. I am stood wearing a wry smile with my bedroom's door only slightly ajar. My parents are almost definitely -not- asleep. That I can be confident of, as I can hear their murmurings downstairs. Tonight, I intend to escape the clutches of my vile, insistent bed-time and take my brother to visit a couple of interesting cats. I worry about him sometimes. He is hardly a moment younger than myself and yet I feel a hundred years more mature. I would question whether something happened to him when he was younger, but knowing his luck it would turn out to be something amazing and happy and full of colours or something, and ever since then he's just been full of magic and wonder. I imagine that is the kind of thing he would say.
My primary concern is that he doesn't seem to speak much anymore. He just thinks everything.
No matter. Time for my daring escape, of which I expect no difficulties. Using skill and grace far exceeding my comparatively few years on this planet I slide down the banister, not creating a singular sound as I hop from my slide into a slick forward roll and cartwheel out of the door, leaving no trace that I was ever there. My poise and excellence is unparalleled, and I look forward to this evening's venture. Though I may have knocked over something on the way out. Nah. Doubt it.
Now, to wait for my brother to join me.
be Pouncival
RAINBOWS, am I right? I mean, seriously. Have you ever just looked at a rainbow? They're crazy. Crazy beautfiul that is! Not that this has any bearing on my current situation considering the fact that it's very much night-time and i've just heard my brother leaving the house all super-stealthy-like! Gosh i'm so excited. I love sneaking out. I'm such a sneak! Not sneaky I mean i'd never do anything sneaky just maybe sneaking out this one time because it seems a good idea okay wait breathe.
...
Okay, i'll give you a brief update, what I just did there was panic a bit and decide the best way to get out of my room was through the window. In hindsight, it wasn't my best decision. The bad news is I jumped out through it without a care for my own safety. The good news is my bedroom is on the ground floor.
The extra good news is that I landed on something soft as well! Although the extra bad news is that that something soft was my brother. But at least it was quieter than trying to go through the house and hey! I'm outside! Hooray! I'm so cool my Cat i'm so excited this is going to be so great! No seriously think about it for a second Tumbly is taking me somewhere and this is totally going to be amazing yes this is going to be the best evening and i'm going to remember it for ever and ever and ever and ever-
be Skimbleshanks
Apparently my children are under the quite wrong impression that they're in some way quiet or subtle. When they get back I must remember to tell them that sneaking out at night to visit a friend is not acceptable behaviour. I must also remember to explain this to them quietly and calmly.
With a belt.
I would go after them but, you know, they're probably just going to be at a friends' house, right? It's not like they're stupid enough to leave the Junkyard. Probably. No, it'll be fine. Wherever they go, there'll be another adult present. And beside all that, this is my fifth 'drop' of scotch and i'm rather off my face.
Hic.
be Pouncival
-ever and ever and ever and-
be Tumblebrutus
"OH MY CAT GET OFF ME!"
Pouncival, mercifully, obliged. That cat is a menace. He spends ninety-five percent of his time trapped in his own head, and the other five percent trying to get into Etcetera's pants. Not that she wears trousers, you understand, being a queen and all. Not that i'm trying to encourage gender roles of course! I mean, not that any of this matters anyway because being cats we don't wear any clothes at all and-
-you see, this is what Pouncival does to me. He sneaks me into his own world of nonsense and I find myself aimlessly wandering through my own inner thoughts. Well that's not me. Tumblebrutus is a cat of integrity and strong wills. Tonight, we are going to visit none other than Tantomile and Coricopat. Why? Simple.
I am now convinced that there's something weird going on in Pouncival's brain.
Now before you jump on me about this being a mean thing to say about one's own brother, hey, I get it. Generally we shouldn't be mean about those around us, even if they get on our collective nerves so much it makes us (me) want to scream (backflip). He's clearly gone wrong somewhere. I mean, who jumps out of a window? Especially if that window is on the ground floor. The tom just starts going on about insane things like rainbows and unicorns without any provocation. Maybe he was dropped on his head as a kitten. Maybe he attempted a backflip and landed on his head. Maybe-
Actually, you know what? I'm totally going to do a backflip right now.
be Pouncival
UNICORNS, right? Especially the really colourful ones! Imagine a unicorn with RAINBOWS FOR HAIR? Right? RIGH-
Woah. Did Tumbly just do a backflip?
Anyway. Pouncy checking in for duty. Or Pounci. I've never known how to think my own name. It's odd that it's even up for debate really. I mean, Tumbly is Tumbly. No way is he Tumbli. That just looks like a brand name. Oh wait. No. I've just ruined Tumbly. Even that looks like a brand name now! Oh Cat! All I can think of is his name on detergent and washing-up liquid, not that I have any real grasp of what either of those two things are! Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh-
be 'Tumbly'
Amazing backflip. 10/10 for execution, style and grace. I am a suave son of a gun.
We haven't been walking for too long, but we're basically here. The twins have never lived in a particularly picturesque area. The outside of their abode, a thing that I can only describe as a serious series of stacked boxes under cover of various plastics and what-do-you-call-its, is simplistic. They haven't bothered doing anything to the outside and you wouldn't be surprised if it was derelict. Empty. But I know for a fact that it isn't.
There's not too much to distract you from the surroundings. The area is quiet and unassuming. The only thing that really makes this the twins' place for certain is the air. The air is... lighter. Softer. Quieter.
...quiltier. The air definitely tastes quilty. It tastes as if it had the texture of a minty quilt. I appreciate the oddity in that sentence and apologise for it, but it is hard to wrap one's head around what kind of spells and witchcraft they must toy around with so often to get the air to be quite so textured and-
-actually this isn't the place. This air is too quilty.
We shall manouevre ourselves somewhat to the right and advance through this mess of junk, past the tyre and into this secluded area. A few more pawsteps, and we'll be at our destination. Hopefully Tantomile or Coricopat can take a look inside Pouncival's head and work out what the hell is going on in there... and maybe straighten a few strands out to make him more conversational. I feel like we haven't said a word to each other all night.
Just what could possibly be going on in that head of his? He looks so concerned.
be Pouncival
oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god A CAT CANNOT BE NAMED TUMBLI OR TUMBLY NEITHER WORKS I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE TO CALL HIM TUMBLE FOREVER NOW.
Actually, Tumble isn't so bad at all. I'm not sure why I made such a big deal out of it, really.
Oh look, we're here.
This chapter is the first of five or six, which I have planned out in the hope the story might progress slightly faster than it usually does in my writings. Hopefully it might be received positively and I shall look into more chapters. No doubt it's weird as all hell, but hopefully it made a few people chuckle. If you are one such person, please feel obliged to drop a few words about what you felt worked, and what you felt didn't. It's the only way i'll learn.
Ta! x ktm