The Guilty Gear Fairytale Collection
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--The Gearbred Man--
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One sunny morning, an elderly man was half-dead with boredom. He had neither a wife nor a son to keep his elderly vigor active. There are many names that the elderly man can be called, but we'll just call him "That Man." And so, begins our story.
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That Man was known for making enhanced gingerbread pastries called "Gearbred men." GEARbred men were made from magical cookie dough and shaped into human-like flat figures with special cookie cutters. These special pastries had every quality of a human: their speech, their thoughts, and their physical movements. The only attribute that stood out, was their small size and the fact that they were deliciously edible. That Man's dreams of making the perfect Gearbred Man was crushed ages ago, but with nothing to do in the lonely bakery, That Man decided to try and create the one perfect Gearbred man.
There he shaped the cookie dough and frosted red eyes and spread brown sugar hair on the Gearbred. He frosted the cookie until voila! The Gearbred was decorated and almost done. He placed the Gearbred man into his special futuristic, microwaving, radiation-giving oven which seemed too advanced for the event's timeline.
Hours passed until finally, the Gearbred Man was done! He opened the oven that spewed radioactive particles into his face and created instant pimples that would remain permanent. With the radioactive particles came out the perfect Gearbred man! The Gearbred man faced his creator and smirked. That Man decided to name his creation "Sol." Sol jumped next to the door of the bakery and said,
Run, run, as fast as you can,
You can't catch me,
I'm the Gearbred Man!
... and with these words the Gearbred man fled the bakery and into the town. What a mischevious little thing he was!
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Sol marched down the road and came across two Japanese travelers searching for rabbits.
"Anji!! There's a rabbit right there!!" said the red-haired woman.
"I got it!! I got it!! KYAHH!!" the brunette man with glasses tripped and landed helplessly on poison ivy. "AAAHHHH!! It itches!! Baiken!! HELP!! WOOOOOH!!"
"Baka..." Baiken muttered shaking her head from side to side.
Sol roared in laughter after seeing poor Anji whan his face into a tree.
"Nani? COOKIE!! ANJI GET THE COOKIE!!" Baiken raised her katana in the air and tried to stab the annoying cookie and roast it afterwards.
"Baiken!! Will you marry me if I catch it?" Anji pouted at his lover.
"Yea, whatever!! Now get the cookie and let me eat it!!" Baiken and Anji rushed with chopsticks ready to eat Sol. Sol laughed and started off saying,
Run, run, as fast as you can,
You can't catch me,
I'm the Gearbred Man!
--
Meanwhile, as the Japanese couple enjoyed their time chasing the Gearbred Man, another couple was going to be purged into their unfortunate chase.
Ky had eagerly awaited the day he would propose to his dear lover, Lady Dizzy. The two had known each other as innocent children and their love had grown in the passing years. He stared at the lovely girl in a light blue gown and glitterring ribbons in her parasol.
"Dizzy... all these years... I've wanted to express in the utmost way how much I truly love you. So Dizzy, Will you-" Ky's endearing statement was cut as an infamous Gearbred Man jumped unto Ky's face and tackled him down to the ground.
"Umm... Ky, sweetie?" Dizzy was oddly puzzled. "Ohh!! Look at that gingerbread run!! Isn't he just adorable?"
"I'll... CRUSH THE CRUMBS OUTTA HIM AND SKIN HIS SURFACE WHILE HE BREATHES HIS VERY LAST BREATH!!" Ky charged toward Sol with poor Dizzy being dragged along with him. And so Baiken, Anji, Ky, and Dizzy chased the Gearbred Man. Sol only smirked and stated:
Run, run, as fast as you can,
You can't catch me,
I'm the Gearbred Man!
--
As the chase continued, more people are being dragged into the wild shinanigan.
"Ayah!! What a nice day for a picnic right, Bridgey??" Jam cutely smiled at her dear partner Bridget.
"I can't wait to taste the sandwiches, Jam-oneechan!! Roger also wants some!!" Bridget gazed at the picnic basket in front of them. Jam eagerly opened the picnic basket - and out came Sol!. He munched the last sandwich in his mouth and roared in laughter before continuing his race.
"Uwah!! I wanted sandwiches!" Bridget burst into tears and held Roger tightly in his slim arms.
"AAAAAYYYAAAAAHHH!!" Jam dashed with lightning speed and went ahead of the other four people chasing Sol. Bridget had his mouth gaped open.
"Ah! Onee-chan wait!!" Bridget gathered his yo-yos and ran off to chase the Gearbred Man. And so Baiken, Anji, Ky, Dizzy, Jam, and Bridget chased the Gearbred Man. Sol only smirked and stated:
Run, run, as fast as you can,
You can't catch me,
I'm the Gearbred Man!
--
Meanwhile, Johnny and Axl laid down on the beach and watched the sun high in the sky.
"Ugh.. I'm bored. Anymore beer?" Johnny asked wearily.
"Nope. I need to get more by time traveling in the future," Axl replied. "I'll get you more hentai later on."
As the two weirdos enjoyed each other's company, mischevious little Sol hopped onto their faces and laughed merrily leaving crumbs on their faces.
"!! What the heck!?" Johnny stood up feeling the growing pain on his cheek.
"My nose!! He broke meh nosey!!" Axl wailed painfully and Johnny grabbed him by the collar.
"GET THE COOKIE!!" Johnny involved himself with the mess and now more people were after Sol.
"Johnny sweetie!! Wait for meeeee!!" May exclaimed out of nowhere in her housewife outfit. She eagerly chased after Johnny. And so Baiken, Anji, Ky, Dizzy, Jam, Bridget, Johnny, Axl, and May chased the Gearbred Man. Sol only giggled and exclaimed:
Run, run, as fast as you can,
You can't catch me,
I'm the Gearbred Man!
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"I WILL KILL YOU ZATO!!" Millia dashed toward Zato and had her hair brushed and combed properly.
"Your hair will never be as long and flowy as mine, wretched Millia!!" Zato stated gently running his hands through his stylish hair.
"Wrong Master Zato!! It is my white hairs that will surpass the beauty of you both," Venom said watching the silver strands flow in the wind.
"You're all wrong. My hair is spiky," commented Slayer. And it is here when the group of angry people chasing Sol appear and somehow involve the four into the chase.
"Whoever gets the cookie has the most beautiful hair!!" Millia exclaimed getting a head start. And so Baiken, Anji, Ky, Dizzy, Jam, Bridget, Johnny, Axl, May, Millia, Zato, Venom, and Slayer chased the Gearbred Man. Sol only giggled and exclaimed:
Run, run, as fast as you can,
You can't catch me,
I'm the Gearbred Man!
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"Doctor please operate me carefully," ABA said.
"Doctor, please do," answered Zappa.
"There!! The heart is exposed! I just need to plug the bleeding hole in it, Where's the scalpel?" Faust said. To his surprise Sol was holding the large scalpel and ran away.
"Thief!!"
"Yes indeed! ABA let's go!!" Zappa took ABA in a wheelchair.
"MY HEART IS BLEEDING!!" ABA begged for mercy.
And so Baiken, Anji, Ky, Dizzy, Jam, Bridget, Johnny, Axl, May, Millia, Zato, Venom,Slayer, Faust, Zappa, and ABA chased the Gearbred Man. Sol only smiled and hooted:
Run, run, as fast as you can,
You can't catch me,
I'm the Gearbred Man!
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It was at this time that Potemkin, Testament, and Chipp were dead with boredom. When they saw the group of people chasing a cookie, they ultimately decided to follow them.
And so Baiken, Anji, Ky, Dizzy, Jam, Bridget, Johnny, Axl, May, Millia, Zato, Venom,Slayer, Faust, Zappa, ABA, Potemkin, Testament, and Chipp chased the Gearbred Man. Sol only smirked and shouted:
Run, run, as fast as you can,
You can't catch me,
I'm the Gearbred Man!
--
At this time, Sol was starting to grow tired as all the people started to chase him. He huffed and puffed before landing next to a river.
"I'll help you!" said I-no climbing out of the tree. "Climb on my nose and we'll swim across the river." I-no's devilish smile prevent Sol from denying her offer.
He hopped unto her head and I-no swam across the river.
"Hop on my nose, Gearbred Man," I-no requested, and indeed that is what Sol did. But as soon as Sol and I-no landed. . .
S n a p!!
I-no ate him in one delectable crunch. There ends the chase of Sol, the poor Gearbred Man.
I hope you enjoyed the first fairytale in the collection! The next two stories will be Snow White and Little Red Riding May!! Thank you and please Review!!