Trisha hated this. She hated this more than anything she had ever experienced.
She watched her body move steadily forward, stiffly, barely out of her control. She struggled to maintain her strength as she fought to get her mind back from this monster. Each thought she had was twisted into something more violent, more savage. She couldn't trust them anymore. This battle in her head relied on her instincts alone.
She focused on the way her muscles moved, the sound of her heartbeat, her breathing, the few things the shadow couldn't control. The only phrase she could keep in her mind without it being warped into a brutal need to attack was "I'm alive... I'm alive..."
She kept it running through her head as the beast within her finally moved her body outside Lucien's underground city. She saw the ruins ahead of her. While it had taken her mind, she could not look into its own. She could not see what it was planning to do, or why.
It moved her steadily into the city. As she looked around, she realized that she must have been the only one to make it out. All the other shadows might still be crowding around the gates. She wasn't surprised. The journey it took for her to make it this far was long and rough. Her hands had bruises and small cuts from climbing, and her back was mottled with them for each time she had fallen. Every muscle in her body was aching, especially her arms and legs.
But the shadow kept no note of this, and forced her to keep moving. In a loathsome way, she was grateful. She realized that without this shadow, she would never have been strong enough to escape the city. If it left her right now, she didn't know if she'd even be able to move on her own.
Nonetheless, she despised it.
Small puddles remained from the rain yesterday, but today the air was empty and cold. The sky was a deep blue, and sunrise was hours away. With each breath she let out, she could see its fog form, then fade away. Another thing she could control. She kept that in mind as she made more.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a glint of gold light. She looked to its source, and saw something hiding in the dark, behind a crumbling building. It's eyes were the source of the light.
Oh no, she thought. Not another one.
The shadow within her was more than willing to attack others suppressed by shadows. She remembered the people she had encountered on her way out, and what she had done to them. While it started as a horrific flashback, her shadow twisted it into a reminder of what had to be done.
It shifted her direction, and started her steadily after the other shadow. It saw her movement, and it mirrored hers. It crept out of the darkness, and slowly revealed its face.
Their eyes met, and widened. That was a face Trisha could recognize anywhere. Deep red hair, spiking out in all directions. Thick, bushy red eyebrows held low against his eyes. Freckles spotted around his cheeks. That familiar, ugly face she had to deal with for a year.
The shock of seeing him made her stop, and one word managed to slip through the monster's filter, into the world outside.
"You."
Robert stopped when he heard her voice. His eyes widened further. It looked as if he was trying to say something in response, but he couldn't. He didn't seem to have as much control over his body as she did.
For a while, they just stared into each other's eyes. Trisha knew she had a lot to say to him, but she didn't dare think about them now. Who knew how the beast would turn them against her? She focused instead on what she could see. She saw he hadn't sustained injuries as she had. The position he stood in was unnatural for him; hunched over, leaning away from her. He really did have little to no control.
I could easily overpower him.
The thought appeared in her mind, and she didn't know whether it was her or the shadow who had generated it. But it was the shadow who kept it there, and built on it further. It was already strategizing on how to attack. Trisha tried to fight it, but she saw there was no use. She instead started her own train of thought while it was distracted. If I let it fight him, it might take his attention away from me long enough to gain control for a while. Then, I will talk.
She took a deep breath, and let out white fog. Attack now, she thought.
The shadow turned her thought into action. It let out an angry cry as it charged at him. He backed up, his face holding a look of surprise. Before he could back further away, her fist slammed into his face. Trisha couldn't help but enjoy it, finally being able to physically express all her anger that had built up over the year, and after what had happened. The shadow took this anger and amplified it, making her fury cloud her mind as she kept hitting him, his stomach, his arms, his chest, anywhere she could reach.
Finally, he landed one on her. He slammed his head against hers, and she backed away. The shock made the shadow retreat to the back of her mind, but she knew it wouldn't last long. She took a deep breath, and caught Robert by the shoulders as he attempted to charge her. She turned, and slammed him against a wall.
"Robert!" she screamed into his face.
Once again, the sound of her voice seemed to stop him. He stood still, stiff in her hands. He was breathing heavily, fog dissipating between them with each breath.
She could feel the shadow fighting for control again, but she put all of her strength into holding it back as the words she had been wanting to say for days tumbled out of her mouth.
"Look at this. Look at what happened when you disobeyed me! A simple order! All we had to do was stick together, and you left me! You left, and I had to activate the beacon myself! Look at us now! Is this what you wanted?! What were you thinking?! You idiot!"
She let out a pained groan as the shadow rose back up again in her mind. As it took control, she threw Robert away. He fell, splashing into a puddle. As he got up, her shadow lashed out and kicked him in the stomach. Trisha retreated to the back of her mind, knowing that if she wanted to speak further she had to let the shadows fight.
Robert backed away on his hands and knees, then got up. His eyes were glowing bright, piercing the darkness. His shadow was in complete control.
Trisha's shadow made her charge again, but this time Robert was ready. One of his hands caught her shoulder, and his other formed a fist which he slammed in her stomach. All of her breath came out in a rush of fog, and for a moment her mind went entirely blank.
Before she could act on it, Robert threw her to the ground. She landed on her back into the puddle, and she focused the pain from her injuries onto the shadow, holding it back for just a little longer. She looked up, and saw Robert's shadow holding his leg above her head. She grabbed the leg he was standing on, and he crashed to the ground. She sat up, grabbed his arms, and pinned them to the stone street. She leaned her knee into his leg, trapping him beneath her. The shadow was making him struggle, but she held her ground, both outside and in her head.
"I can't believe I thought I could rely on you. I had to find that beacon alone. No one heard me screaming."
Robert stopped struggling. The shadow still glared into her eyes through his, but she could tell something was different.
"It didn't even have to happen. You could have been there. You didn't even think about the mission. You didn't even care."
Suddenly, pain registered in her mind. A pain that drove even the shadow away.
"You are the most selfish person I've ever met. I depended on you. But you don't care. You never did."
She saw Robert flinch as droplets of water fell on his face. She felt them on hers too, and for a moment she thought it was raining again.
Then, she saw him struggle to move his arms. His face was strained, his eyes clenched shut. He managed to get one of his arms loose, and it rose straight to her face. He opened his eyes, and their dull glow focused on his hand. Wincing, every move a battle, he wiped warm droplets from her eyes.
She realized then that they were tears.
She felt the shadow pulling forward in her mind once again, but she held it back. Suddenly, Robert's grip on her cheek tightened. His fingernails dug into her cheeks, and she saw his face was strained. He was fighting for control. A sound of struggle rumbled from the back of his throat.
He opened his eyes with an expression of agony. His mouth opened, and he let out a ragged sob before speaking.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
His body was struggling again, and he broke free from her hold. She stood up as he backed away, pulling himself away from her. He stopped and gripped his head in his hands. The rigid muscles in his arms showed the effort he was making to keep the shadow from taking control.
She felt her own shadow fighting to repossess her. She realized she wouldn't be able to stay in control for long. She moved back, one step at a time.
Robert looked up, and his eyes were brighter. He was still, but the animalistic glare had returned to his eyes.
She kept backing away, meeting his stare the whole way. The shadow took her arms, and it reached to Robert. It was taking most of her mind back for itself, but for now she could still separate her thoughts from the ones it fabricated. She wouldn't be able to speak for long, so she spoke the last words that came to her head.
"This won't last long. When we're free, we can try again. Don't let me down. Don't- give in—"
It took her speech away. She emptied her mind before it stole her thoughts as well. She focused on her legs, and made them run from him. He had been hurt enough, and they didn't need to fight anymore if she could help it.
She saw his face as she left him behind. For a moment, his own pain drowned out his shadow, and his own tears spilled down his face. In the time it took to wipe them away, the glare had returned, and it was the last look he gave her as she ran behind the crumbling buildings.