Author Note:

Its been rather a while since I posted anything, so I thought I'd throw my hat back into the ring with this multi-chapter fic. I haven't abandoned my other fics - I have started to work on them again and they will be posted in due course.

The idea for this was born from the Taylor Swift song, 'Come back, be here,' and begins during early season 2. It is based on the premise that Castle ended up accepting the offer to write the adventures of "a certain British spy," but where does that leave Nikki Heat - or more to the point Kate Beckett?

I'd love it if you could let me know what you think doods.

-Leigh

Disclaimer: You'll be able to tell as soon as you start reading I'm clearly not Andrew Marlowe ;) I wish I had even a fraction of his creative talent.

Worlds Away
Chapter One

The room is completely thrown into darkness, and when Lanie walks in the last thing she expects to see is Kate perched on the edge of one of the autopsy tables. "Jesus, give a girl a heart attack," She comments, flicking on the light and giving her friend a once over, frowning at the forlorn look on her face. "Okay, you look like someone just took away your favorite toy, so spill!"

Kate glances up, her eyebrows almost knitting together in mock confusion, but she knows Lanie well enough to know she'll never buy it. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You want to try that again?" Lanie brandishes a scalpel, her eyes narrowing. "Make it a little more convincing? Or perhaps you can explain why you're sat down here in the dark instead of gracing Writer Boy's leaving party with your presence. You've not fallen out again have you?"

"No, we haven't," Kate looks back down at her hands, twisting them in her lap; maybe it would be better if they were fighting. At least when she's pissed at him she finds it easier to ignore all the things she likes about him, all the ways in which he shows her that she was wrong about him. Not to mention, she probably wouldn't be feeling nearly so guilty for bailing on him. "I just thought I -" Kate hesitates, trying to choose her words carefully because even though she's not looking at her, she can feel the glare Lanie is levelling on her. "Okay, I couldn't face it," She admits eventually.

"I'd have thought you'd be doing a jig around the break room," Lanie comments, shooting her a sideways glance. "There was a time not so long ago you couldn't stand the sight of him."

The detective sighs, dragging a hand through her hair and tucking her legs beneath her. "I thought so too," She inwardly draws a sharp breath. Her face feels warm and she's wondering if she can put the light blush staining her cheeks down to the lighting in the room. "I was so mad at him Lanie. After we fought I never thought I'd see him again, and I could've lived with that quite easily."

"But Castle clearly couldn't," Lanie points out, smirking.

Despite herself Kate manages a smile, "If there's anything I've learned about Castle, is that he's a law unto himself. You tell him to do one thing and he blatantly disregards it, of course he was going to come back."

Lanie's hands come to rest on her hips, and she raises her voice slightly so she can be heard over the sound of the running tap water, "One of these days I'ma smack you Kate Beckett. What is it gonna take for you to see what the rest of us have seen since day one?"

"Just because I haven't acted on it, it doesn't mean I don't see it." Her lip disappears between her teeth and the silence that follows makes it clear that Kate didn't intend for that nugget of information to slip out but suddenly she can't stop herself. "I don't know when things changed Lanie, but one day I realized that - that it isn't him I hate. It's the way he makes me feel. He's arrogant, childish and he irritates the hell out of me sometimes, but for some unknown reason I like having him around."

"See that wasn't so difficult was it?"

"You don't know -" Kate starts to interrupt, but Lanie clearly hasn't finished speaking because she silences her with a glare.

"What I do know is that you've spent so long trying not to get hurt that you've stopped living Kate. There's a man out there just waiting for you to give him a chance and I know you'll regret it if you let him leave today without telling him what you've just told me, or at the very least, without saying goodbye."

"You make it sound so easy," Kate swings her legs down and slides off the table, beginning to pace up and down.

"Things are only as complicated as you make them."

"It's not like that Lanie-" She knows she's protesting in vain because they've had this same discussion more times than she cares to admit.

"We've been here before - yes you come with baggage. I know it, don't you think Castle does too? He's been divorced twice. Baggage doesn't come much heavier than that."

Kate rolls her eyes at the mention of Castle's failed marriages, because that's another reason why this just wouldn't work. She won't let herself become one in a line of women. "And I've told you before, look at his ex wives..."

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe that's why he likes you - because you're nothing like Meredith and Gina?" There's a lull in the conversation then, and the room is silent aside from the slosh of water as Lanie works. "Did you ever ask him why his marriages didn't work out?"

"Of course not. Its none of my business," Kate dismisses the idea all too quickly for Lanie to believe that she's never wondered about it but she doesn't pull her up on it.

She looks so flustered that Lanie stops wiping down tables and moves to stand beside her. She nudges her gently, " Hey, I'm not telling you to get hitched to the guy Kate, but if you don't give it a shot then you'll never know." She places a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Just think about it, okay?"

Laughter echoes down the hall and as Lanie draws closer, she can tell it's because Castle is in the middle of telling one of his completely-unbelievable-but-true anecdotes. She glances through the glass before entering, her face breaking into a smile as she watches Esposito and Ryan wrestling for the last donut. "Did no one ever teach you guys to share?"

Castle looks up at the sound of her voice, though his face changes to a frown when she lets the door shut behind her. "Beckett not with you?"

The look on his face makes Lanie want to take him aside and tell him but Kate is her girl, and this is something they have to figure out between themselves. "She said she had something to take care of but-"

The door opening again gives her an out, because - ever hopeful - Castle glances up again, his face visibly falling as it shuts behind Captain Montgomery, although he tries not to let it show. He feels Ryan and Esposito exchange glances with Lanie and pretends not to notice the hurt when she shrugs her shoulders. "Oh, we got you a present!" Ryan jumps in suddenly, filling the awkward silence which seems to have slunk into the room with their Captain. He pushes the box across the table towards him.

"You shouldn't have," Castle replies, although his lips turn up slightly at the corners and his grin only widens when he manages to pull open the box. Nestled in a bed of cotton wool sits an exact replica of their NYPD badges. "Oh that is awesome guys!" Enthusiasm creeps into his voice and he honestly is touched by the gesture, appreciating how much they consider him to be a part of the team. He finishes closely examining it and places it back in the box, before getting up and leaning over to shake Espo's hand, and then in turn Ryan's - who instead pulls him into a one armed hug. "Thank you, seriously.. It's been great."

"You have no idea how many strings I had to pull to get that," Their Captain comments, clapping him on the back. "But what can I say? I think we can all agree that this place certainly won't be the same without you and I know Beckett-" The conversation dies abruptly at the mention of Kate and Captain Montgomery glances across at Lanie, "Where is she anyway?"

Lanie opens her mouth to respond but she's interrupted by the door to the break room opening, "She's here." Their heads all turn, landing on Kate who is hovering awkwardly in the doorway. "You got a second, Castle?"

Eyes glance from Beckett to Castle, who downs the remainder of his bottle of beer, "Sure," He answers easily, getting to his feet and following her out of the room, something resembling relief etched across his features.
He doesn't ask where they're going and she doesn't volunteer the information so they walk along in silence. She leads them out of the precinct into the open air and up a narrow metal staircase which he knows leads to the roof of the building. The silence stretches between them as they both struggle to find the words. "Thanks for the badge," Castle says eventually, glancing out across the city.

He gives Kate a sideways glance and registers the fleeting smile that crosses her face, "The badge number is fake so I'd suggest you don't try anything." She attempts humor but it does nothing to lessen the hollow feeling that has settled in her chest cavity.

"Ah, you know you love it when you get to arrest me," He banters back, but it's clear his heart isn't in it either. "You know, for a minute I thought you were gonna let me leave without saying goodbye," Castle says suddenly, turning away from the edge of the building and studying her intently.

She's chewing on her bottom lip and she glances back across the horizon, a small sigh escaping as she meets his scrutinizing gaze. Kate turns and leans against the railings, suppressing a shiver as the cold hits her. "For a minute I did too," She admits quietly, letting out a humorless laugh and feeling a pang of guilt because of the hurt that now flickers behind his eyes. "I was so pissed the day the Captain told me you'd be tagging along," She moves across, inviting him to come and stand beside her.

"You don't say!" He's unable to resist teasing her, a smirk crossing his face and he lightly bumps her with his shoulder. "I vaguely recall something to do with breaking my legs - and wasn't there something about showing me how your taser works?"

A dry chuckle escapes, "Ah I forget the details," She quips, bumping him back, the smile on her face fading and they fall into silence again. "Looks like you made it out the other side though, despite your best efforts to get into trouble."

"No one was more surprised about that than my mother," Castle recalls and they share a smile, "She gave it a month."

"Esposito gave it a week before I shot you," Kate muses lightly.

Castle's features twist up into a smile, "You can't say it never crossed your mind... Not that I haven't deserved it at times," He adds hastily when she shoots him one of the looks she reserves especially for him.

"What can I say?" She starts, leaning further towards him, "I guess you grew on me." Kate tests the waters with a fraction of the truth, ducking her head slightly and hiding her face.

"Yeah, I tend to do that," The grin on his own face widens at her admission and she waits for him to continue, "It's my sparkling personality you see - although being this ruggedly handsome can't hurt either."

He says it so matter-of-factly that Kate is unable to prevent the laugh that escapes. "And modest with it too," She comments rolling her eyes, traces of mirth lacing her voice. Her laughter dissipates and she pushes herself off of the wall, angling her body towards him. "I - erm," She stops, clearing her throat. "I've got another present for you," Her eyes meet his and she smiles at him with a lot more reassurance than she feels right now.

"Oh you didn't have to -" He's distracted when she further closes the distance between them, and - not giving herself the chance to talk herself out of what she's about to do - grabs him by the lapels of his shirt. He unconsciously wonders if she can feel the way his heartbeat has quickened, but it's all he has time to do before he feels the gentle press of her lips against his.

Castle's eyes widen and it takes him a second to register what's happening, but suddenly he's kissing her back and she tastes of cherries and coffee, and something he can't quite place but he knows (without really being aware) that its custom only to her. There's nothing elegant about it, and it's like no first kiss he's ever had; lips, tongues and teeth engage in a furious battle for dominance and their hands are everywhere - his grabbing her almost roughly by the waist, hers clawing across the broad expanse of his back. Her body tenses, and he knows she's about to pull away from him, "Don't Kate," He mutters against her mouth, "Please don't stop." His teeth graze her bottom lip, and a low moan escapes her throat, and as amazing as this feels, as he feels, she - they can't do this. Because he's leaving, and she doesn't even feel that way about him.

It's over almost as suddenly as it began, and mouth dry, heart hammering wildly against her ribcage she lets go of his shirt, leaving Castle looking dazed and trying to breathe normally again. "Whoa," He breathes, testing his capabilities of speech, "Beckett - Kate I-"

Kate's inner conflict is written all over her face. Her teeth sink into her lip again and she awkwardly leans across to press her fingers against his lips, "Don't Castle," She echoes his words, and if he notices he doesn't comment. Her thumb swipes at the corner of his mouth and she can feel his questioning gaze burning holes into her. "Lipstick," Kate explains, a light blush creeping up across her cheeks. She tries to draw back from him, suddenly self conscious but he catches her in the briefest of hugs before letting go.

Kate moves towards the door, heart pounding in her ears as she puts some distance between them. She turns back towards him, still stood rooted to the same spot. "Have fun in London," The words almost catch in her throat but she manages to remain composed. "You were right. It's been great." Kate looks like she wants to say more, and her mouth opens and closes before she finally decides against it.

Her hand is on the door handle and she's about to turn and leave when Castle finally speaks, "Ride to the airport with us?"

She means to say no, to tell him that it really wouldn't be a good idea because saying goodbye to him like this is hard enough, but he looks so hopeful that she can't bring herself to disappoint him. "Sure, I'd love to."