2: 26 a.m.
Kacey's hands shook as she slowly turned the key, unlocking the front door to her house.
She hesitated, then took a step forward. While quietly shuffling inside, she noticed the glow of the TV and the familiar smell of spaghetti sauce.
He was here. Drunk, as usual.
Tip-toeing her way up the cream-carpeted stairs, she made her way into her bedroom and shut the door.
Luckily, he hadn't noticed her enter.
It wouldn't have been the end of the world if he had. She just hated being around him when he was intoxicated.
Kacey peeled off her jean shorts and changed into more comfortable ones. Slipping on a bleach-stained oversized t-shirt, she reflected on the night she had just had. Her friends had dragged her to a house party at some guy's house in South Side. South Side parties always tended to be rowdier than others. More booze, more drugs, and more of a chance of getting arrested. It always scared Kacey when the cops showed up. They usually came because of a noise complaint, and left shortly after telling whoever was hosting to turn the music down. On rare occasions, they stayed and then people ran. She didn't want Sophia to jeopardize her future based on one party, so Kacey worried.
Kacey rarely went out. Partying just wasn't her thing. Alcohol made her extremely uneasy, and she had vowed when she younger that she would never drink.
She was intent on keeping that vow.
Staying home and reading a book on a Friday night was a lot more appealing to her.
Her friends were nice enough to try to convince her to go out, but whenever she did she never had fun. Everyone always smelled like alcohol and weed, with occasional whiffs of cigarette smoke. And Kacey somehow always ended up as the babysitter, holding hair back as girls vomited in the toilet, making sure everyone was remotely conscious, and checking that her friends had a safe ride home. Frankly, she was sick of it.
Sick of people acting like all there is to life is alcohol and partying.
She knew she was biased because of her dad and her upbringing; Kacey had always been more mature and independent than practically everyone her age. But still, sometimes she felt so alone.
Her friends could be really childish. They all had a lot of money, and were incredibly spoiled. Kacey lived in a nice house as well, and she did acknowledge her privilege. But, her friends had never experienced any real life issues. They had never had to endure anything similar to what Kacey does on a daily basis. This made it hard to connect with them, or really anyone around her.
She knew she couldn't blame them for their limited knowledge of her life; she was always super closed-off and unwilling to open up. She was afraid of their reactions. She knew they could never understand.
No one can, she thought. Oh sure, she was being melodramatic about the whole thing. But when you're incredibly lonely it's hard to be optimistic.
Kacey got into her bed and slid under the soft comforter. Even though she was exhausted, sleep never came easily. However, she did have meds to help her relax, as well as anti-depressants and anxiety pills. Her dad paid for a psychiatrist and meds, and she was grateful. But it was because of him that she needed them in the first place.
Kacey heard the familiar ding of her phone, sighed, and lazily grabbed it from her bedside table. A text from Sophia, who was drunk, so the text was barely comprehensible. Kacey didn't bother responding. Sophia was a good friend of hers, but she tended to make bad choices.
A lot.
Meaning getting blackout drunk every weekend and hooking up with guys who she barely knew. Despite this, Sophia was fun, fiercely loyal, and helped Kacey forget about all of the bad shit in her life. She was crazy, but Kacey loved her.
And Sophia was smart; maybe not street-smart, but definitely book-smart. Most people don't expect this because Sophia seems like she's just a pretty face and money. But she was much more than that.
It irked Kacey that people at her school thought her and her friends were all stuck-up rich kids. Most of them didn't have a mean bone in their bodies. And others…well…Kacey wasn't friends with them. Sure, they'd be at the same social events as her. But that didn't mean she was friends with any of them. Kacey just wished that people would stop judging her based on what they see. Everyone assumed she had it easy.
If only they knew.
Kacey tried to fall asleep. Even after taking a small dose of Ativan, she tossed and turned, replaying the night over and over.
It had been an uneventful evening, but was still pretty memorable nonetheless. Sophia had been to a few South Side parties, but this was Kacey's first. The pungent smell of cigarettes and beer welcomed her as she entered into the dark house. The music was deafening; it was some kind of rap song. People were making out all over the place, and there were even a few people snorting coke off of the glass coffee table. There was also a strobe light in the living room which made Kacey's head throb, as well as a group of people playing beer pong. How can they see anything? Or hear?
It was overwhelming. Never had Kacey been to a party this wild.
Feeling herself panic, Kacey walked to a more well-lit part of the house, shoving people away left and right. She rushed past people taking shots and walked by a group of guys passing a joint around. Eventually she was able to squeeze past a few more people and make it to the kitchen, where there was a bottle of some kind of alcohol on every square inch of the counter. Lovely.
Sophia trailed behind her.
"You good?" She asked, grabbing her arm, her face full of concern.
Kacey ran her hands through her hair and smiled. "I'm fine, Soph. Go have fun."
Sophia smiled back and squeezed Kacey's hand, then turned around and disappeared into the darkness.
Sophia could always have a good time, even if she didn't know anyone. Kacey envied this about her, but admired it as well.
Grabbing cup off of a nearby table (not to drink, just to give off the illusion that she was enjoying herself), Kacey tried to see if she could make out any of the faces around her. She did recognize a few people from school, but everyone was drunk, high, or both. Kacey mostly kept to herself at school. It's not that she didn't want to get to know anyone, it's just that she preferred being alone. It was comfortable. Familiar.
Maybe too familiar.
Deciding to try to find an empty seat somewhere, Kacey slowly made her way through the throng of sweaty people. The heat was radiating off of everyone there and was fogging up the windows. Kacey wrinkled her nose. She could already feel her thick hair getting damp from the suffocatingly-hot temperature of the room.
Eventually, she spotted a vacant seat. While she was making her way over, she almost lost her balance due to spilled drinks and sweat. She balanced herself and sat down and took note of her surroundings. Some guy and a girl who was sitting on his lap were making out on the other end of the couch. She didn't mind; she was used to it.
For a while, she sat alone and watched everyone around her. Honestly, this was what she preferred. A classic introvert, Kacey felt more comfortable observing that participating. While Sophia never pressured her to do anything she didn't want to, Kacey knew that Sophia didn't understand her. Yet, they still got along. Probably because they were so different, and naturally balanced each other out.
Kacey's phone buzzed in her pocket. Grabbing it out of her jean shorts, she was almost blinded by the illuminated screen. So dark in here. She quickly turned down the brightness and unlocked her phone.
A text from Blake. It wasn't coherent, considering he was probably trashed. He was at a bar in downtown Chicago.
Blake was gay, and very similar to Sophia. He partied constantly, but tended to be more conservative than Sophia regarding his sex life. Though he and Sophia were alike, they also had their differences. He could be more serious than Sophia, which Kacey appreciated. He was easier to talk to about deeper issues, and he knew more about Kacey's life than Sophia did. It was nothing against Sophia, but Blake had always been that type of friend.
Sophia and Blake fed off of each other's craziness. Their energy was infectious, and everyone in the room always lit up at the sight of them when they were together. Kacey didn't care that he and Sophia hooked up with a lot of people. It just bothered her that they were all completely random. She wasn't like that, so maybe she just didn't understand. She didn't think she was better than them, of course, she just was never one of those girls. And probably never would be. Her distrust of men had manifested itself as complete and absolute fear of anything to do with guys. Thanks, Dad.
A loud crash startled Kacey out of her pity party.
Scanning her eyes around the room to locate the source of the commotion, she felt someone's eyes on her.
She casually moved her head towards the stranger, locking eyes with a semi-familiar face.
Carl Gallagher.
He was sitting across the room on a cracked leather chair. Even though it was dark, his cornrows gave his identity away. She tried hard not to burst out laughing. Why does he have cornrows? He's white. Does he know that?
Sure, he had been in juvie for a while, but he looked utterly stupid.
A girl was leaning up against him, her head resting on his shoulder; she was completely passed out.
Dominique.
Dominique wasn't very nice. To anyone. She had an uppity attitude and hated Kacey and her friends. For no reason whatsoever. Look, Kacey wasn't ignorant. If she was from South Side and saw a bunch of people in her school with tons of money and not a care in the world, she would probably treat them coldly too. But still, it was frustrating that everyone assumed her life was pretty much perfect. To be frank, Dominique was kind of a bitch.
Kacey knew Carl's home life was rough - rougher than hers.
His father Frank was known as a drunken asshole, and his mom was out of the picture. Kacey had seen his sister Debbie around school, and had recognized his other siblings around the city. She had never seen Frank but knew he was a frequent guest of The Alibi Room. Like my dad. Kacey shook her head. Don't think about him right now.
To be completely honest, Kacey was curious about him. She had heard that he was selling guns in the boy's bathroom, but tried not to believe it. Then again, he had been hanging around guys who were notorious for selling drugs, firearms, etc. Not the best group of people to be associated with.
Carl didn't turn away when she looked at him. He was slightly squinting at her, as if he was confused. Kacey felt a little uncomfortable. Guys never really noticed her. And if they did, she completely ignored them. They were usually interested in only one thing: sex. She didn't want to be so stand-offish, but this is how she had to deal with guys in order for them to leave her alone.
In response to his stare, she jutted her chin out then slowly raised an eyebrow, as if she was wordlessly saying "Try me." Though Kacey was shy, she never took shit from anyone, especially guys. Growing up under her dad's roof had at least taught her that.
A few seconds passed. It was an intense stare-off. Then, a smile slowly appeared on his face.
Kacey narrowed her eyes and knit her eyebrows together in confusion. Before she could try to comprehend what was happening, a bunch of sloppily-drunk guys blocked her view of him.
What the hell?
By the time the boys moved, Carl and Dominique were gone.
What was that about?
Her and Carl had never interacted before. He was in a few of her classes, but they had never spoken a word to each other.
For another half hour, Kacey witnessed the party unfold before her. It distracted her from thinking about the exchange she and Carl had just had.
People made out, grinded, drank, smoked, the usual. Eventually, Sophia rushed over to her, slurring that she was tired and wanted to go. Sophia got sleepy and laughed a lot when she was drunk, finding almost everything hysterical. This made it easy for Kacey to deal with. She normally hated being around drunk people, but Sophia was entertaining. She drove Sophia home, but had trouble getting her buckled because she kept swatting Kacey's hands away.
"Stopppp ittt!" Sophia kept repeating, giggling like a maniac. Kacey eventually got her strapped in then made sure Sophia got into her house without tripping all over the place. Kacey then drove to her house.
Overall, it was a pretty boring night. But, she had finally experienced a South Side party. It had been interesting, but definitely crazier than she had anticipated. By now, it was 3 a.m. and Kacey was struggling to keep her eyes open. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and got into bed.
As she gradually drifted off to sleep, her thoughts went back to Carl Gallagher.
Stop overthinking it. He was probably drunk and didn't know what he was doing.
Right?