When I first met him, Alfred Franklin Jones was just a gangly, short, sick young man who just happened to have the biggest heart in the world. It was almost amusing, seeing him surrounded by the other recruits, all big burly men who could have knocked him to the ground with a light tap on the shoulder. But it was none of these recruits who immediately snagged my attention-no, it was Jones, and those big blue eyes of his, so full of hope and sincerity that even I wanted to believe in him. I was well known as a cynic, one who no longer believed in anything at all, least of all myself, but Jones...he changed that, without even trying.

I wasn't all that surprised when he was chosen to participate in the experiment-he was the obvious choice, the one whose heart was full of heroism and honest intentions, who tried over and over to join the army so he could protect his country. The more I found out about him, the more I found myself admiring him. I was the one who drove with him to the secret hide out where it was set to take place, and on the way there I learned even more about him, that only served to make me love him more-well, not exactly love, not yet. At that point, it was still simple admiration of that loveable, awkward young man, who had no social skills whatsoever. For some reason, I found that absolutely endearing.

"You see that alleyway?" Alfred said at one point, looking out the window. "I got beat up in that alleyway...and in that parking lot...and behind that diner..." he gave a short, strained laugh. I just looked forward and said in a neutral voice.

"Did you have something against running away?"

He was silent for a moment, and then he said in a very sincere tone.

"You start running, they'll never stop...but once you stand up to them, start pushing back...well, you can't say no forever, right?"

A small, sad smile made its way to my face and I said.

"I know a bit of what that's like, to have every door shut in your face."

Alfred just looked at me, silent for a moment, and then he said.

"I just don't see why a gentleman like you would join the army...I mean, you know, you just don't seem the type, you're more of the stuffy, old man kind of guy."

"You have no idea how to talk to people, do you?" I said, rather amused, and he just laughed a bit and said.

"I've never been great at long conversations, sir."

"I imagine not." I chuckled, looking over at him finally. "You must have been rubbish at parties."

"Yeah, well, I was mostly the guy who sat in the corner. Most people don't want to dance with a guy who'd step all over their feet."

"Have you never danced?" I asked, a bit surprised, and he just shook his head, chuckling.

"Somehow, the dance floor is terrifying...the past few years, it just didn't seem to matter too much." Alfred smiled a bit. "Figured I'd wait."

"For what?" I queried, and he just looked back out the window.

"The right partner."

When Alfred started screaming, I felt my heart stop, and my mouth opened before I could even think.

"Shut it down!" I cried, thinking of the gawky young man and the dangers that we knew might be caused by this experiment. But even as the doctor yelled for Stark to turn off the machine, I heard Alfred's voice shouting from inside.

"No! I can do this!"

Everyone just stared, and I found my heart was beating incredibly fast for reasons I couldn't quite fathom at that point. When everything shorted out, I couldn't draw my gaze away from that metal container he was in. Then Stark pressed the button, and it opened. When I saw him, saw his chest heaving and confirming that he was still alive, I let out a breath I hadn't noticed I was holding. He was quite a sight, his entire body now extremely well toned, and his trousers, once loose, were now quite snug on his hips...not that I was looking! I ran down as fast as I could, just as they helped him down, my hand automatically reaching up to touch the sculpted muscles. I drew it back, heat rising to my cheeks.

"H-how do you feel?" I asked, forcing my gaze up to his face. His chest was heaving with each breath, but I found myself smiling as he replied.

"Tall."

After that, everything moved so fast. I had to admit, I was rather annoyed that they decided to force Alfred into some gimmick to sell bonds, because even when we first met I felt like he was meant for something far greater. When he went overseas, I was there when he was booed from the stage. When he drew himself as a monkey in a suit, I couldn't help but feel my heart well with pity for him. He didn't want this, he wanted to be greater than this, but they just wouldn't give him a chance to prove his worth, and that made my heart pang.

"Hello, Alfred." I said softly, walking up behind him. He jumped a bit, turning around and looking at me.

"Hi."

"Ah, hi." I said, giving him a small smile.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me, and I just chuckled a bit.

"Officially, I'm not here at all." I said wryly, and then I added. "That was quite a performance."

"Ah, yeah." He looked away again, and I could see the look in his eyes, a defeated, unhappy one. "I had to improvise a bit...I'm used to crowds that are a little younger."

"Everyone's saying your America's new hope." I said sardonically, resisting the urge to roll my eyes a bit. He just gave a soft sigh and said.

"Bond sales rise ten percent in every state I visit."

"And you're alright with that?"

"At least they don't have me stuck in a lab, like some others would have preferred."

"And these are your only two options? A lab rat or a dancing monkey?" I snorted, looking at him. "You were meant for more than this, you know."

He just looked at me, and then looked away, his mouth hanging open like he had something to say but just couldn't quite get it out. I frowned a bit, my tone softening as I looked at him sombrely.

"What is it?"

"I used to have dreams of coming over here, being a hero and fighting with everyone on the front lines, serving my country...and I finally get what I wanted, and I'm wearing tights."

I could hear the regret in his voice, but before I could speak again we heard the honking of vehicles and saw the army ambulances driving up. Alfred looked over, his expression serious as he said.

"They look like they've been through hell."

"These men more than most." I said softly, and when I caught his look I sighed and turned back to look at him. "Schmidt sent out a force...two hundred went up against him, and only fifty returned." I paused for a moment before continuing. "Your audience contained what was left of the 107th."

He turned quickly, his blue eyes widening a bit at the number.

"The 107th?"

"What? Jones?" I said, but he was already up and running for the other tent, his long legs many strides ahead of mine. He just looked back to make sure I was following, calling out, "Come on!" as I held my coat over my head to try and keep the rain off. He went right up to Col. Phillips and said.

"I need the casualty list...well, actually, I just need one name." Alfred said in a clipped voice, and I could easily detect the worry, almost a hint of fear, in there. "Sergeant Matthew Williams of the 107th."

The Colonel just looked up at him, glaring a bit at me.

"You and I are going to have a conversation later that you won't enjoy."

"Please, sir." Alfred said earnestly. "Just tell me he's alive."

There was a tense silence as the Colonel glared up at him, and then he sighed, looking down at the stack of condolence letters in his hands.

"I've signed more of these letters than I care to count...but the name does sound familiar." He looked up at Alfred with a weary sigh. "I'm sorry."

I could almost see the thoughts, the anguish whirling through Alfred's head, and then...determination. A sudden need to do something to make it right.

"Are you planning a rescue mission for the others?"

"Yeah, son, it's called winning a war." the Colonel replied dryly, and Alfred just stared back at him with an almost stern expression on his face.

"But if you know where they are then why aren't you going to try and-?"

"They're over thirty miles behind enemy lines, through some of the most fortified territory in all Europe. It'd be foolish to even attempt anything. But I suppose we can't expect you to understand any of that, because you're a chorus girl."

I could see Alfred practically bristle at that comment, and then he swallowed and looked the Colonel right in the eyes as he said in a clear voice.

"I think I understand just fine."

"Well then I suggest you understand somewhere else. From what your posters say, you have somewhere else to be in thirty minutes." With one last disdainful look at Alfred the man walked away, and I was left staring at Alfred open-mouthed, not entirely sure what to do, but practically willing him in my mind to make the right choice, to use the powers they had given him to do what no one else could do in this war. He stared at the map, and I noted the sudden change in his shoulders, the firmness of someone who had a mission, a goal."

"Yes, sir, I do."

After he dashed off it took me less than a minute to decide what I had to do-I ran after him. I found him in the dressing room, where all the silly star-spangled costuming was kept, and I found him shoving things into a bag. I snorted a bit.

"What do you plan to do, walk into Austria?"

"If that's what it takes." He replied without hesitation-I admired that in him. I just shook my head, sighing.

"You heard the Colonel, your friend is most likely dead."

"You don't know that."

"Even so, he's devising a strat-"

"By the time he's done that, it could be too late." Alfred practically snapped, picking his bag up and throwing it over his shoulder. I followed him outside, sighing.

"Alfred!"

He turned to look at me, his shoulders squared and his blue eyes so full of sincerity and determination as he spoke in a steady voice.

"You said I was meant for more than this...did you mean that?"

I looked back into his beautiful cerulean eyes, and then I nodded a bit.

"Every word."

He looked at me for a long moment before he turned, throwing his bag into the vehicle and saying.

"Then you've gotta let me go."

I watched him climb into the front seat, and then I jogged over to him, looking at him as I said.

"I can do more than that."

I outlined the plan as we sat in the back of the aeroplane, him all suited up, goggles and all, ready to go. He was fidgeting, and I could detect a few signs of nervousness, but overall I he seemed ready to go, cool and collected.

"Get me as close as you can." He told Stark, who was driving the plane, and I could tell he was rather worried about the consequences for the two of us. "You're going to be in a lot of trouble for doing this."

"So will you." I countered, and he just shrugged.

"Where I'm going, if anyone shouts at me I can just shoot them."

"And they'll undoubtedly shoot back, Alfred." I told him, trying not sound as concerned as I felt. He just tapped his shield, sounding so self assured I almost wanted to slap him if it weren't for the fact that I knew it was mostly bravado.

"Let's hope it's good for something."

I just sighed softly, and stark looked back with a smirk as he said.

"You know, Kirkland, if we're not in too much of a hurry we should stop off at Lucerne for a late night fondue."

I rolled my eyes at that, looking back at Alfred who was givign me an almost confused and innocent look. He was adorable, really, in his naïveté, and I found myself chuckling quietly and then clearing my throat.

"Stark is the best civilian pilot I've ever seen, and he's mad enough to brave this. We're lucky to have him."

Alfred just nodded, looking like he was trying to string words together in his mind.

"So, do you two, y'know...fondue?"

I gaped at him, and then I cleared my throat again, deciding not to even grace that with an answer.

"This is your transponder. Activiate it and it will send out a signal, so we can locate you."

Alfred looked at the device skeptically, looking over at Stark as he called out.

"You sure this thing works?"

Stark started to reply, but at that moment we heard the boom and saw the flashes that indicated we had been discovered and were now getting shot at. I clung to the side of the plane as it began to rock, but Alfred just grabbed his shield and stood up, heading to the back of the plane. I followed him, cursing under my breath.

"Get back here, we're taking you all the way in!"

He just opened the door and sat on the edge, holding onto the doorframe to keep himself from falling out just yet. He looked up at me, yelling over the din.

"As soon as I'm free, you turn around and get the hell out of here!"

"You can't give me orders!" I huffed, but he just grinned cockily and said.

"The hell I can't-I'm a captain!"

I could only watch as he snapped the goggles down over his eyes, flashed me one last grin, and then launched himself off the plane. I stared after him, my heart beating wildly as I watched his parachute disappear under the hail of rockets. all too soon, Stark was turning the plane away, and we were headed away from him. The entire way back, though, my thoughts were only on Alfred, and I prayed that he would succeed.

I was chewed out by the Colonel, as I had expected, but I just stared right ahead even knowing what could happen as I stated clearly.

"With all due respect, sir, I don't regret my actions, and I don't think Jones did either."

"What makes you think I give a damn about your opinions? I took a chance on you, Kirkland, and now our golden boy and many other good men are dead because you had a crush."

I felt my cheeks flush a bit, surprised by his statement, but I just shook my head.

"It wasn't that, sir. I had faith."

"Well, I hope that's a comfort to you when they shut this division down." The Colonel grumbled. We stared at each other for a long moment, until we heard a commotion outside. He sighed, looking past me.

"What the hell is going on out there?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes a bit as I turned to follow him outside, but when we got out there I couldn't help the smile that stole over my face, when I saw who it was walking up, at least a hundred men behind him Many of them were injured, but they were alive, and it was a bloody miracle. Jones walked right in front, almost swaggering, and he clapped the back of the man next him, whom I figured to be the supposedly-killed Matthew Williams. Everyone in camp began clapping and cheering as they walked through, overjoyed. Alfred just walked right up to the Colonel and saluted.

"Some of these men need medical attention." He sighed, looking right at him. "I'd like to surrender myself for disciplinary action."

I was relieved when the Colonel just smiled, looking back at Alfred and saying.

"That won't be necessary."

"Yessir." Alfred said with a smile, and the Colnel turned, looking at me.

"Faith, huh?"

I just smiled back, trying to contain my absolute relief that Alfred was back, safe and sound, the hours of endless worry now over. I walked right up to him, clearing my throat and saying.

"You're late."

He just gave me a look, taking the now broken transponder from his jacket pocket and holding it up.

"Couldn't call my ride." He said cheekily.

After that, they decided that Alfred would be just the thing they needed to succeed in taking down Schmidt, letting him assemble his own group of trusted soldiers to help him. I noticed that it included his friend, Matthew Williams, along with a couple frenchmen, one of which I had interaction with before and delighted in teasing me constantly. There were a few others as well, and while I honestly thought they were a bunch of buffoons and hooligans, I trusted Alfred's opinion. When I walked through the bar that night, dressed in a suit rather than my normal uniform, I caught the glances of a few of the soldiers gathered there, but none of theirs mattered once I'd walked up to Alfred and seen the slightest drop of his jaw as I walked up, and then I realized how much I had been banking on that reaction. That was when I realized that I had more than just a crush on the newly titled "Captain America"-I was in love with him.

But then, the very next time I saw him, I caught him making out with one of the secretaries in the war office, and I stopped cold. I kept my cool, trying to make it look like my heart wasn't shattering into a million pieces. Of course, it was silly to think he'd love me in the first place-I was a man, and frankly not the most attractive one with my hideous eyebrows. I could never expect him to love someone like me...so why was I so crushed?

I had my pride to uphold, though, so instead of bursting into tears like I oh-so-dearly wanted to, I put my hands on my hips and said curtly.

"Captain!"

He jumped, breaking apart from the woman, his cheeks flushed and an innocent look on his face. I just gazed coolly at him, huffing.

"We're ready for you; if you're not otherwise occupied." I added bitingly, turning on my heel and stalking away. He sighed, and I heard his footsteps hurrying after me.

"Agent Kirkland, wait!"

"Looks like finding your partner wasn't that hard after all." I said, making sure my voice was carefully calm. He just blushed, looking flustered as he tucked his tie back in where that filthy sl-where the secretary had tugged it loose.

"That's not what you think it was-"

"I don't think anything, Captain." I snapped coolly. "You always wanted to be a soldier and now you are, just like all the other bloody soldiers out there."

"W-well how do I know oyu and Stark haven't been...fonduing!"

I stopped for a moment, just looking at him, and then I rolled my eyes and turned away.

"You still know nothing about human interaction."

I left him staring at me dumbly, trying to ignore the fact that I felt crushed. He was an innocent, naive fool, it was probably just a mistake...but maybe it wasn't, and I couldn't help but feel hurt. When I found him later, holding up a large circular shield and giving me that same foolish grin like always, my hand reacted on its own and grabbed the nearest pistol, firing off four shots right at him. He deflected them, of course, and I just gave him a tight lipped smile.

"Yes, I think it works." I said curtly, setting the weapon back down on the table before I walked past him quickly. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked away, but I refused to look back.

After that, I hardly saw him at all. Alfred took his men and went off on his mission to destroy Hydra one bit at a time, and I stayed behind for the most part, worrying about him despite the fact that I should by all rights still have been mad at him. At the same time, I couldn't help but feeling proud of him, for his success, and soon any anger I felt at him had vanished. Once, when watching videos taken of them, I noticed he had a picture of me taped to the inside of his compass. I had no idea where he'd gotten it, but I felt myself blushing as the Colonel and several others glanced my direction. That gave me more hope than I'd ever believed possible, and I started to realize that the idiot might actually like me back.

But one time, he returned from a mission along with the awful news the Matthew Williams had fallen to his death, and when I finally sought him out in a ruined bar in London, he looked miserable, no longer smiling like he always had. He was drinking, or at least trying to.

"You know, the Doctor told me that it wouldn't just be my muscles that were affected, but my cells too. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing that basically makes it impossible to get drunk...did you know that?" He laughed weakly

. I sighed, pulling up a chair and sitting at the table as I said.

"Your metabolism burns four times that of an average man...he thought that might be one of the side effects."

There was a moment of silence where he stared down at the glass, as if willing the alcohol to take the pain away. I sighed softly, looking at him.

"It wasn't your fault."

"Did you read the report?" He asked, and I could hear his voice choking a bit.

"Yes."

"Then you'll know that's not true."

"You did everything you could." I told him, but he was just silent, staring down at the table. I sighed. "Did you believe in your friend?" Silence. "Did you respect him?" More silence. "Then stop blaming yourself. He bloody well must have thought you were worth it."

I gazed at him in silence, waiting for him to speak again. When he did, his voice was thick with emotion.

"...I'm going after Schmidt...I'm not going to stop until Hydra is destroyed."

I looked at him, and then I reached out and put a hand on his arm.

"You won't be alone."

I knew the moment he said it that it was foolish of them to just charge right in, the plan to let himself get captured having too many variables that could go wrong, that could get him killed. I told him as such but, of course, he didn't listen. And so he left for the base, and I stayed with one of them teams outside. When they all surged forward I went with them, intent on finding Alfred and making sure he was alright. I ran as fast as I could, adrenaline coursing through my veins as my heart beat double time. I came upon a hallway and saw him crouched in a doorway, one of the enemy soldiers blasting fire so he couldn't move. I lifted my gun and shot until he fell in a burst of flames, and I saw Alfred's face light up a bit when he saw it was me.

"You're late." He quipped as I walked up, the two of us at the perfect distance for either to make the move, to press our lips together, but then I just cleared my throat and said.

"Weren't about to, ah..?"

"Right." He said, nodding to me and looking into my eyes for just a moment before he dashed off after Schmidt, leaving me to just stare after his back, one that had once been so small. I then dashed off again to find some way to be useful to him, and then the Colonel and I found Schmidt's car and got in, driving toward where the craft was taking off and where, I figured, Alfred was. We caught him running, trying to catch up, but even his strength couldn't manage that, so the Colonel stopped and had him get in the car so he could catch up to the large aircraft. Once we got close enough to where Alfred could catch onto it he stood and readied himself to leave. Just before he did, however, I gave into my urge, because my heart told me that this was the right and possibly only time I would ever be able to do it. I tugged him down and pressed my lips against his, and he kissed me back, and even in the heat of the moment, that kiss held only tenderness, love, and all too soon it ended and we looked into each other's eyes. Finally I smiled at him, despite the tears in the corners of my eyes, and said to him.

"Go get him."

And then, just like that, he jumped for the wheel of the air craft and latched onto it as it drove away, the Colonel swerving the car away just in time, but I kept my eyes on Alfred until I couldn't see him anymore, and I could almost feel him looking back at me. The Colonel urged me out of the car and into the control room where, they were hoping, Alfred would get into contact with us at some point. I waited, pacing anxiously, until finally I heard him speak and I rushed over, pushing the man there aside.

"Alfred? Is that you, are you alright?"

"Arthur! Schmidt's dead."He reported, and I heard everyone else sigh in relief, but I just asked.

"What about the plane?"

There was a short silence and the sound of gadgets ebing fiddled with from his end, and then he said.

"That's a little bit tougher to explain."

"Just give me your coordinates, I'll find you a safe landing site."

"There's not going to be a safe landing, but I can try and force it down."

My heart stopped for a moment, and I could feel the weight of dread already settling over me.

"I-I'll get someone on the line who can hel-"

"There's not enough time, this thing is moving too fast and it's heading for New York." Alfred interjected quickly, and there was a long, heart wrenching pause before he said. "I've gotta put her in the water."

"Please, don't this, we-we have time, we can work it out." I choked, tear springing to my eyes.

"Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere-if I wait any longer a lot of people are gonna die."

There was a long silence where neither of us said anything, and then he said in a much softer voice.

"Arthur...this is my choice."

I shook my head, staring at the speaker where his voice was coming out of, unable to speak as my eyes teared up even more. I blinked them back, waiting for him to speak again.

"Arthur..."

"I'm here, Al." I whispered, my voice completely choked up now.

"I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance."He said in that adorable Brooklyn accent of his, and my heart throbbed painfully, a couple tears finally escaping my eyes as I nodded.

"A-alright...a week from now, on Saturday."

"You got it."

"Eight o' clock on the dot, and don't you dare be late...understood?"

"...you know, I still don't know how to dance."

I couldn't take it anymore, the pain in my heart was too much, but I just smiled sadly and managed to choke out.

"I'll show you how...just be there."

"...we'll have the band play something slow...I'd hate to step on your-"

And then it turned to pure static, and I swallowed thickly, not wanting to believe it, to believe that he was gone.

"...Alfred..? Alfred...Alfred!"

The tears came full force, pouring down my cheeks as I leaned my arms onto the console and buried my face in my hands, sobs escaping my mouth and shoulders heaving. I didn't want to believe it, couldn't believe that he was gone, but deep in my heart I knew there was no way he could have survived that crash.

A short while later, after the war had ended, the Colonel gave me Alfred's file, which was now classified as "Inactive". I opened it up, and the first thing I found inside was a picture of him from before the transformation, back when he was still that awkward, gawky, string bean of a man with the biggest heart of all. I still have that photo, I keep it by my bedside. One day, I might find someone who can replace this ache in my body, this empty hole that was my heart, but for now, there is only one man who can do it, and that is Alfred F. Jones, the only hero I'll ever need