Mikau: Hello everyone! Thanks for checking this out! As some of you may know, I've been doing a kind of satirical comedy piece called Hakuba Responds in which Hakuba, Kaito, and Conan poke fun at Hakuba's…well, lack of appearances in the series thus far among a lot of other things. This was supposed to be the third chapter, but…there wasn't a whole lot to jest about in the Dark Knight episode, so it turned out to be more angst and hurt/comfort than anything. So I published it as a separate fic, even though there's some comedy at the end. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, the ending to the Nightmare episode would have been a little different. Not the episode itself, but the part after the curtain closes. I was not happy when Kaito came out and did his "See you next illusion!" bit. Kaito, you were supposed to be curled up in a little ball angst-ing. I would have been much happier if the curtain had just closed and the ending theme had started playing. Kaito coming out just killed the somber atmosphere. We were supposed to have a moment of reflection on how sad that was! Kaito! You ruined the deep, pensive mood!

…

Nightmares

It was Saturday night, and Kaito, Hakuba, and Conan were gathered, as was their custom, to watch the newest episode of the Magic Kaito 1412 anime. Usually they joked and laughed and teased about the outlandish happenings of that week's episode, but tonight, as the show came to an end, they were all left feeling rather heavy as a somber mood set in.

The only noise in the apartment was the sound of the TV being turned off as the next episode preview came to a close.

A few minutes later, Kaito, sitting with his knees pulled to his chest, finally broke the silence. "I didn't like that episode," he whispered.

Neither Saguru nor Conan had a reply.

Now wasn't really the time for Conan to boast about his upcoming appearance on the show next week.

It would be inappropriate for Hakuba to celebrate once again his sexy, intelligent characterization and his awesome voice actor. It would be insensitive for him to preen over how he had made a grand entrance and quick, clever deductions.

It wouldn't even help to reassure Kaito that Kenta had been taken care of, that the boy was okay, that Kid's glove had somehow mysteriously disappeared after the crime scene photos had been taken but before any DNA evidence could be obtained.

There was nothing that they could say to make it better or break the dark atmosphere that had descended upon them like volcanic ash.

So Saguru reached out and put a comforting arm around his roommate, patting Kaito on the head. "Yeah," he whispered in response.

Conan got up from the other end of the couch to come and sit beside Kaito, leaning up against the magician and resting a reassuring hand on his knee. He said nothing, letting the gesture speak for him: "It's okay. You're not alone. It's okay. We're here for you."

They sat like that for a good ten minutes before Hakuba remarked, as casually as he could, "I really feel like going for ice cream."

"Yeah. Doesn't the place down the street have that chocolate brownie explosion thing that you like, Kaito?" Conan picked up on Saguru's train of thought and assisted in attempting to distract the magician.

Kaito chewed on the inside of his cheek. "I don't really feel like ice cream," he replied honestly as angry bile churned in his stomach. He felt absolutely sick.

Saguru and Conan shared a look of immense concern. Kaito didn't want ice cream? Surely that was a sign of the apocalypse.

"What do you want?" Conan asked hesitantly. "Is there anything you want to do? Anywhere you want to go?"

Kaito shook his head, so they sat there wordlessly yet again.

Five minutes passed, and then Conan spoke up, knowing even then that it wasn't the right thing to say, "It's not your fault, you know. Hakuba told me about it, and…" He bit his lip. "…You don't want to talk about it, do you?"

"No," Kaito muttered, eyes glassy and cold.

"But maybe we should," Saguru suggested. "It obviously bothers you. You still have nightmares about it several years later. I hear you at night, you know. The thrashing, the shouts. You think you killed him."

Kaito seemed to shrink, tightening himself into an even smaller ball. "Didn't I? If I had just—"

"—Kaito, you tried to save his life," Conan interjected. "That jerk was going to shoot you dead and go on to hurt other people too. Just because they were thieves doesn't make their lives any less valuable. He was a murderer, going to kill other people with spouses and kids, but you tried to save him. He was the one that chose not to be saved. He didn't grab on. He didn't let you save him. You did everything you could. You're only getting so hung up on this because you look at Kenta and see yourself."

Kaito blinked. His eyes came back into focus and moved a bit in thought. That was the only indication they received that he'd heard them.

Saguru added softly, "Kaito, you're not a failure just because you weren't able to save that one person that one time. I won't say that I know how you feel, since I rarely understand what's going on in that labyrinth of a mind of yours, but I will say that I can relate. Conan-kun likely gets it as well. As a detective, there have been people that I have been unable to save. If I had just been faster, smarter, if I had just gotten it in time, I could have saved a life."

Hakuba bit his lip as the familiar pain in his chest came back. It was like each of the victims that he couldn't save stabbing him with a letter opener. "And then I feel like I killed them. I killed Jane Adams. I killed Rodger Lovegood. I killed Ichitani Naoko."

"It's just as bad when the culprit commits suicide," Conan whispered, not looking at either of them but pressing a little closer to Kaito. "When you trap them with your deductions and leave them with no other way out…." With a shiver Conan softly admitted, "I killed Asou Seiji."

"…So…See?" Saguru smiled. It was a weak, tentative grin, but it was warm and well-meaning. "We just might understand after all, but…Kaito, the point is that you tried. And you've saved other people. What helps me is thinking about it like this: for every one I lose, I save fifteen more. So long as the number saved stays higher than the number lost, I can keep going. Because I'm doing some good in this world. I'm not perfect, but, God, I try. I do my best. And you do too, Kaito."

"Your dad would be insanely proud of you," Conan assured, patting Kaito's knee. "Yeah, there are setbacks, but you always keep going. You always come out on top. Your dad would be proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself."

"How can I be when I've created another kid like me?" Kaito finally growled, getting up and breaking away from them. "How can I just let it go when Kenta is out there all alone?! He's like me! He's just like me! His mom is gone, he idolized his dad, and now he probably thinks his dad is dead because of Kid, because of me!" Kaito waved his arms wildly as he shouted, "How can I live with myself knowing that that poor kid is all alone, probably plotting his revenge on Kid?" Kaito dropped to his knees and continued in a small, broken voice, "And what would I even say to him if he did confront me? 'I'm sorry. My glove slipped'?"

Saguru and Conan rushed to the magician's side as he crumpled into a little ball.

"Kaito, it's not like that at all!" Saguru assured, wrapping a soothing arm around his friend's shoulder once more.

On the other side, Conan pulled Kaito's arm to his chest. "Kaito…"

"Kenta's okay," Saguru stressed. "Kenta's fine. He got his surgery and he's been adopted. He actually…he has amnesia."

Kaito blinked, looking up at his roommate in astonishment. "Wh-What?" he breathed.

"Kenta has amnesia. There was some trouble with the surgery. He's perfectly healthy, but…he had some memory loss," Saguru explained as Kaito stared at him in shock. "Kenta remembers bits and pieces, but nothing about that night. I…I talked to him a few months after the surgery, though. I told him about what really happened."

"You didn't," Kaito gasped, looking like he was going to slug the blonde. "How could you tell a little kid that their dad was—!?"

"—NOT what really happened," Saguru backpedalled. "The censored version. Excuse me. I misspoke. I told him…his father died fighting Nightmare. I told him that his father was a hero, that he'd gotten the opals back, but…he slipped. Nightmare left him for dead, but Kid…Kid tried to save his life. Kid tried desperately to pull him back up, but…"

A hush fell over the boys as Kaito searched Saguru's face for answers.

Saguru returned Kaito's gaze without blinking, without wavering. "And he believed me," Saguru continued. "Because I told him the truth. His father struggled with Nightmare, and he lost. You tried to save him. Kenta's very grateful to you. And now he's living with his new family: a loving mother, a doting father, and two older sisters to spoil him rotten. He even has a dog, and the best part is that with so many people in his life, someone always has time for him. He's okay, Kaito."

"So…he didn't turn out like me, after all?" Kaito begged, voice shaky as he looked back and forth between the detectives. "He's not…he's not sad and lonely and…?"

Conan shook his head, smiling fondly up at Kaito and patting his forearm reassuringly. "No. And you need to stop saying 'turn out like you' like it's a bad thing, Kaito."

"You really aren't all that bad once you get used to the idiosyncrasies," Saguru chuckled. "You're a good man at the very least. You turned out okay, Kaito."

"Don't forget the lunacy," Conan snorted. "And the bad personality. And the twisted sense of humor."

Saguru tried not to grimace, but he did not succeed. "Well, yes, but…setting all that aside, you're a wonderful person, Kaito. You turned out very well, I think."

Kaito glared at his friends. "You two just negated everything about me that makes me me," he grumbled. "So I don't have any redeeming qualities. Is that what you're telling me?"

The detectives shared a look, thought about it for a second, and then responded, "Maybe," in unison.

"You two suck at this cheering people up thing," Kaito pouted.

"Well, you wouldn't go get ice cream with us," Conan grumbled. "What do you want from us?"

"I don't know," Kaito retorted, not as angry as he was making himself out to be. "But suck less. Seriously. Kick a guy when he's down, will ya?"

"Sorry," Saguru chuckled sheepishly. "You cook well," he volunteered. "Despite your zealous application of sugar to every dish."

"Just add some salt and get over it," Kaito griped. "You eat my food every day. If you don't like it, make some yourself."

"No, no," Saguru assured, putting up his hands in an appeasing gesture. "I'm quite satisfied with the current arrangements, thank you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so ungrateful. Your cooking is fabulous, Kaito."

"Damn straight," the magician himself sniffed indignantly.

"And your fashion sense is superb!" Saguru added.

Kaito raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Add 'flattery' to the list of things that you suck at. You just sound sarcastic when you say it like that."

"I was being sincere!" Saguru huffed, dropping his arms, detaching himself from the magician now that Kaito was acting much more like himself. The blonde stood and crossed his arms. "Why do you always think I'm being sarcastic?"

"I think it's your British-ness," Conan replied helpfully, getting to his feet as well. "The English always sound sarcastic to me."

"I take offense at that!" Hakuba squeaked like a proud peacock that had been prodded.

Conan shrugged. "It wouldn't be the first time…. Or the last. You're easily offended."

"I am not!" Saguru scoffed. "I take offense at that as well!"

"Haku-chan, you're only proving his point," Kaito snickered from where he sat watching, still on the floor.

"Well, he's being offensive!" Saguru argued weakly. It sounded lame even to his own ears.

Kaito shrugged. "Sorry pal. Can't help ya. Remember last week when he insulted my cooking and you refused to lift a finger to come to my defense?"

Saguru frowned, but it came out looking like more of a pout than anything.

"Yeah." Kaito sneered. "Payback's a beach," he replied in English.

Saguru opened his mouth to correct his ignorant roommate but then decided against it. "You know what? It's not worth my breath."

"Let's talk about Kaito's epically bad sense of color coordination," Conan piped up cheerily.

Kaito blinked. "What's all this now?"

Suddenly Saguru remembered and started to chuckle, but he restrained himself, keeping from fully cracking up. "Oh. Right. Goodness, I almost forgot! In the episode! First of all: yellow pants. Yellow pants! Who owns a pair of yellow pants?"

And then the Brit noticed that the two brunettes were wearing twin expressions of "I am not amused".

Saguru blinked.

"You both own a pair of yellow pants, don't you?"

Kaito and Conan nodded.

Saguru pursed his lips. "Very well. Moving on. Who pairs yellow pants with a red shirt?" he continued his critique at full steam, undeterred by the minor setback. "Seriously. You look like McDonald's! And then what was that blue shirt wrapped around your waist?"

And then Saguru noticed that he was the only one laughing.

"Oh, what? Is it not funny when a minor character criticizes a main character's wardrobe?"

Kaito just smiled sheepishly as he picked himself back up off of the floor. "So…Kenta's…okay?"

Saguru let the argument drop. "Yes, Kaito," he assured. "He's doing well. He's happy with his new family."

"So…he's not lonely? He's not…?" Kaito bit his lip nervously.

"No, Kaito." Saguru put on a soft smile, hoping that it encouraged confidence in his answers. "He's a happy, healthy, and perfectly normal young lad. He knows that his birth parents loved him very, very much, and, at this point, he's wanting to join the police force when he grows up so that he can help protect people just like his father did."

Kaito nodded. "Okay. Okay then."

"Better?" Conan chuckled softly.

"Better," Kaito echoed. "So…did you guys still feel like going for ice cream?"

"If you're up to it." Saguru shrugged, glad that the magician seemed to be feeling more like his cheery self.

"And then we can come back and watch Doctor Who!" Conan cheered. It was one of those rare moments where he sounded like an actual ten year-old.

"And maybe play board games?" Kaito looked at Saguru hopefully, also sounding like a ten year-old, but this was a far more common occurrence.

"Well, we might as well have a sleepover, if we're doing all that." Saguru shrugged in indifference, but he was secretly looking forward to spending time hanging out with his friends.

"Awesome~!" Kaito sang, bouncing over to grab his coat.

"I'll call Ran and let her know." Conan followed suit, only with a little less bounce.

Saguru brought up the rear, locking up behind them.

"I wanna watch the Eleventh Doctor!" Kaito trilled.

"No, let's start with the Ninth," Conan suggested.

"You're both daft. Ten is the best," Saguru threw in his two cents.

"Wanna watch 'em all?" Kaito giggled.

"That will take us ages," Saguru scoffed.

"Let's do it!" Conan laughed with enthusiasm.

"You'll be asleep before we even get to Ten," Saguru snorted.

"Hey," Conan whined. "Just because I'm trapped in the body of a kid doesn't mean I'm gonna fall asleep before eleven o'clock like one."

Kaito and Saguru said nothing but shared twin knowing grins.

They knew that Conan would be all flustered and upset the next morning when he found out that Kaito had to carry him into the bedroom and tuck him in because Conan had drifted off to sleep around ten thirty.

And then Kaito would poke fun as he made waffles, and, all in all, it would be a fabulous evening spent among friends now that the shadows had been chased away.

The

End