Disclaimer: I own nothing, wish I did but sadly don't. Oh wait, I own me!
Yay! :}
Author: Liz
A/N: This is a dream that I had once, thought it was weird, wrote it down, yadda, yadda, yadda. Expect it to be very strange…. VERY strange.
Prologue: After the Fellowship destroys the first One Ring they all go their mostly separate ways. Little did they know that Sauron is incredibly…. ANNOYING!!! See it turns out that he made two One Rings (one gold, one silver), just in case if one of them was destroyed but, the silver one was useless unless the gold was gone.
Ch. 1 What is going on?
There was an extremely attractive girl walking down the street of Wormwood Drive (these are all actual streets in West Valley City, Utah). She was wearing black, as were the nine strange hooded figures she saw. They creeped her out, with their icky stench and strange… umm… strangeness. As she walked onto Cherrywood Lane, she turned her beautiful head and saw two of them playing hopscotch in the driveway of one of the houses. The houses creeped her out too, they all looked so perfect and exactly the same; not like on her dirty, ugly street, Woodledge. She walked onto another street and turned her head the other way and saw one of them at a park called Iron Wood; it whistled at her, she just flipped it off and continued. (A/N: I just realized everything has wood in its name in my hood, that's weird. There's Brandywood Drive, Lemonwood Street, Woodledge Park, Woodrash Circle, and at least six others that I can think of right now)
All of a sudden every one of the strange figures turned and saw her, and they started to come at her. She realized she was wearing white now. She turned and ran into one of the houses (A/N: breaking and entering!) she found that it was white and lit inside even though it was night and there was no lamp or ceiling light to be found. Her bright eyes were filled with fear as she heard them knock on the door behind her, 'What do they want with me?' she thought 'Maybe they're just Jehovah Witnesses or Mormons; maybe they'll go away.' She turned and ran up the stairs when the door began to open. She stopped in a room, it was tidy and there was a jewelry box on a desk. She opened it and saw a beautiful golden chain and a silver ring. Of course she put it on, "Well, no one's here. It's pretty, I kinda wish the chain matched the ring, but it's pretty," She said quietly to herself. She slipped the ring on the chain and fastened it around her neck. Then she heard footsteps coming up the stairs; quickly she looked for an escape and only saw the window. She opened it and gracefully leapt out.
She didn't land where she thought she would. She was in a tree in a completely different place, a forest; there were no houses anywhere. She looked down; she was terrified of heights. When she looked she saw many men running. "What's going on?" she hollered at them, no response. "WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!" she yelled as loud as she could. A man stopped.
"You should get down from that tree, fair maiden, there is a danger coming nearer as we speak!" he said. Then he ran away.
"Could you help me?" she tried to call after him, "I'm afraid of heights."
Then she saw elves, how she knew what elves were, I have no idea, but she saw many elves. They seemed to be running toward the danger, probably to stop it. One of them stopped and looked up. She sighed when she saw his face, 'Wow,' she thought, 'He is really hot.' He walked nearer to her.
"You should probably flee, maiden, there is great danger…"
"Coming nearer as we speak, I know. But," she looked a little embarrassed, "I'm afraid of heights, I can't get down."
He smiled, began to laugh and he said, "You're afraid of trees?! Ha! Ha! Ha! *snort* Ha! Ha!"
"Not trees, heights," she said softly, obviously very embarrassed.
He sighed and very slowly stopped laughing, "Ok, I'll help you down," His voice was so calm and sweet, *sigh*… ANYWAY, he held out his hands, she took them and elegantly got down. Their eyes met and the elf fell instantly in love with her, "Tell me, what is your name?" he asked.
She opened her mouth to answer and then closed it again looking as if she was thinking really hard. 'Damn, the author didn't give me a name,' she thought. "I, um, I'm not sure." She said looking embarrassed again.
He just smiled again and said, "I'm Legolas. You should flee to the city, it's that way." He pointed in the direction the men had run to, "Tell the guards Legolas sent you, they will show you to my home."
"But, I'd rather come with you, if I can." she said trying to look as not pathetic as possible.
"Well," Legolas looked disapprovingly at her, snapped his fingers and said, "If you really want to."
The unnamed girl looked at her clothes, they had changed again. Picture something like a mix between a ranger's clothes and a Mirkwood elf's. I don't know either. "Wow," she said looking up at Legolas, "You're like a magic dress faerie."
"Yeah," he replied, "I get that all the time."
:} :} :} :} :}
They were in a clearing firing arrows at a big Balrogish thingie.
It (I'm going to refer to the Balrogish thingie as it) began to advance on her (the girl I have not named); she reached back at her quiver (came with the outfit) only to find that it was empty. She began to back away looking panicked when she heard Legolas' voice "Run!" he called to her. She didn't need to be told that twice.
She ran into the forest and stopped dead (not literally). The creepy black hooded things were all around her. She fell to the ground (out of fear or tripping, I dunno).
Suddenly a man came running out of the trees wildly waving fiery sticks at the creepy black hooded things. They ran away crying just as Legolas ran up.
"Ah, I see you have met my friend, this is …" Legolas said to her.
"I think I can introduce myself, Legolas." The man cut him off, "I am Araporn, King of Gonwhore." He said proudly, "Wait that isn't right!" he sounded more embarrassed then she/her/whoever had ever been. Legolas was rolling around on the ground laughing.
"Araporn! HA! HA! HA! *snort* HA! HA!" he was shouting loudly and other elves were coming to see what was so funny.
"He said Araporn, king of Gonwhore!" Legolas explained to them.
"HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" the sound of Elvish laughter was heard all over the forest.
"I meant Aragorn, king of Gondor! I meant Aragorn, king of Gondor!" cried poor Arapo- I mean Aragorn.
The other elves eventually left. Aragorn and the girl stood there for a while waiting for Legolas to stop laughing, and finally he stopped. "I haven't laughed that hard for a hundred years!" he said wiping tears from his eyes and smiling widely.
Aragorn tried to ignore him, "And who are you, fair maiden?" he asked the gorgeous girl.
"She doesn't know," Legolas replied for her.
Aragorn looked at her an extremely confused look, and then he started giggling madly.
"Well, you couldn't introduce yourself either!" The beauty who doesn't have a name tried to defend herself. Aragorn immediately shut up.
"Then what in Middle Earth am I supposed to call you?" Aragorn asked.
"Well," she thought for a moment, "people usually call me 'Hey, hot girl" or 'Raving Beauty' or sometimes they call me 'You stupid little *swear word*!' I dunno really, that annoying idiot of an author didn't give me a name."
Aragorn looked deep in thought. It didn't seem to suit him well. "How about I just call you 'She,' 'Her,' 'That girl,' and 'You,'"
She nodded. "Ok, fine with me. Can I call you Araporn?"
Aragorn glared at her and Legolas started laughing again.
"HA! HA! HA! *snort* HA! HA! Araporn! HA! HA!"
:} :} :} :} :}
When Legolas stopped laughing, they went to his palace place. They immediately went to council with Thranduil about the "It." You know, that thing that was completely forgotten. Just it isn't forgotten anymore. Ok then, so, they were talking about the big thing. She saw that Boromir (alive for some reason) and Faramir were there. After a while, Thranduil finally noticed that Hey, hot girl was there.
"Um," he asked. "Who in the name of all the Valar is she?"
"She doesn't know," Legolas answered quickly.
"Is she retarded?" Thranduil said side-ways to his son.
"HEY, I HEARD THAT!" Raving beauty, um, raved. (whatever…;])
"Is she an elf?" Thranduil asked.
"No, you're just talking really loud Mister-king-and-Legolas's dad-guy," she said.
"Oh," the king of Mirkwood said. "Legolas? Is she ANOTHER one? How many times have I told you to stop bringing home really hot babes!"
"Hehehe, thank you," the hot babe giggled.
"But Daaaaad!" Legolas whined. "She's different! She's prettier than the other ones were!"
"That's what you always say!" Thranduil scolded. "You always bring beautiful girls who appear out of nowhere and are wearing trousers!"
"We can get her a dress! I'm sure she looks really good in one!" Legolas continued whining. After he's done, he side-ways glances (for a few minutes) at her butt. She turned a little bit and stuck it out. "REALLY good in a dress…" Legolas drooled.
Thranduil sighed and looked too. "Ffffiiiiiinnnne…" he murmured. "Oh, um, I meant: Fine, Legolas. We will get her a dress and see how she looks. The dressing rooms for Legolas's drag-ins are out the hall. Turn left, and the third door on the right."
"Can I take her?" Legolas asked anxiously.
"No," Thranduil said flatly. "Do you remember the last time I let you show a girl to the dressing rooms for your drag-ins? I'm not letting you loose your dignity like that again."
"Too late for that," Faramir whispered to his brother as Legolas hopped up and down in excitement that he might get to have the girl spend the night.
:} :} :} :} :}
After a little, or big, while, You stupid little *swear word* returned, now wearing a dark green silky dress. It scooped dangerously low in front. So, everyone saw almost too much and the ring on its chain. Boromir got a sudden twitch in his eye and then screamed "MINE! I WILL RULE THE WORLD!" as he ran to the girl. He grabbed the ring. The girl screamed as he touched way too near bad places. "YOU *swear word*!" she yelled. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
Boromir clutched at the ring protectively and glared at her with an evil look in his eye. He finally lost the funny look in his eye and returned to his normal self. "Oops," he said when he realized where his hand was. "Who woulda thought that I woulda touched you there?" He left his hand there until she angrily slapped him across the cheek. Boromir walked back to his brother and giggled.
Legolas gave Boromir a death stare and grabbed the girl's arm. "Can I keep her?" he asked his dad hopefully.
"Yyyeeesss…" Thranduil replied with a dreamy look on his face. "Oh, um, I meant: Yes, Legolas. You may keep her. But you must remember to feed her and clean up after her. A girl is a big responsibility, you know."
"I promise to do everything I need to! Yay!" he hugged the girl and started hopping again.
A/N: Wow, this is the first fanfic I've written by myself! Well, my sister did come up with the nicknames and the girl/pet thing, but everything else is mine! I did forget 1 very important thing though: the girl needs a name. In your reviews pleeeeezzzz suggest names for her! Thanx!
Author: Liz
A/N: This is a dream that I had once, thought it was weird, wrote it down, yadda, yadda, yadda. Expect it to be very strange…. VERY strange.
Prologue: After the Fellowship destroys the first One Ring they all go their mostly separate ways. Little did they know that Sauron is incredibly…. ANNOYING!!! See it turns out that he made two One Rings (one gold, one silver), just in case if one of them was destroyed but, the silver one was useless unless the gold was gone.
Ch. 1 What is going on?
There was an extremely attractive girl walking down the street of Wormwood Drive (these are all actual streets in West Valley City, Utah). She was wearing black, as were the nine strange hooded figures she saw. They creeped her out, with their icky stench and strange… umm… strangeness. As she walked onto Cherrywood Lane, she turned her beautiful head and saw two of them playing hopscotch in the driveway of one of the houses. The houses creeped her out too, they all looked so perfect and exactly the same; not like on her dirty, ugly street, Woodledge. She walked onto another street and turned her head the other way and saw one of them at a park called Iron Wood; it whistled at her, she just flipped it off and continued. (A/N: I just realized everything has wood in its name in my hood, that's weird. There's Brandywood Drive, Lemonwood Street, Woodledge Park, Woodrash Circle, and at least six others that I can think of right now)
All of a sudden every one of the strange figures turned and saw her, and they started to come at her. She realized she was wearing white now. She turned and ran into one of the houses (A/N: breaking and entering!) she found that it was white and lit inside even though it was night and there was no lamp or ceiling light to be found. Her bright eyes were filled with fear as she heard them knock on the door behind her, 'What do they want with me?' she thought 'Maybe they're just Jehovah Witnesses or Mormons; maybe they'll go away.' She turned and ran up the stairs when the door began to open. She stopped in a room, it was tidy and there was a jewelry box on a desk. She opened it and saw a beautiful golden chain and a silver ring. Of course she put it on, "Well, no one's here. It's pretty, I kinda wish the chain matched the ring, but it's pretty," She said quietly to herself. She slipped the ring on the chain and fastened it around her neck. Then she heard footsteps coming up the stairs; quickly she looked for an escape and only saw the window. She opened it and gracefully leapt out.
She didn't land where she thought she would. She was in a tree in a completely different place, a forest; there were no houses anywhere. She looked down; she was terrified of heights. When she looked she saw many men running. "What's going on?" she hollered at them, no response. "WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!" she yelled as loud as she could. A man stopped.
"You should get down from that tree, fair maiden, there is a danger coming nearer as we speak!" he said. Then he ran away.
"Could you help me?" she tried to call after him, "I'm afraid of heights."
Then she saw elves, how she knew what elves were, I have no idea, but she saw many elves. They seemed to be running toward the danger, probably to stop it. One of them stopped and looked up. She sighed when she saw his face, 'Wow,' she thought, 'He is really hot.' He walked nearer to her.
"You should probably flee, maiden, there is great danger…"
"Coming nearer as we speak, I know. But," she looked a little embarrassed, "I'm afraid of heights, I can't get down."
He smiled, began to laugh and he said, "You're afraid of trees?! Ha! Ha! Ha! *snort* Ha! Ha!"
"Not trees, heights," she said softly, obviously very embarrassed.
He sighed and very slowly stopped laughing, "Ok, I'll help you down," His voice was so calm and sweet, *sigh*… ANYWAY, he held out his hands, she took them and elegantly got down. Their eyes met and the elf fell instantly in love with her, "Tell me, what is your name?" he asked.
She opened her mouth to answer and then closed it again looking as if she was thinking really hard. 'Damn, the author didn't give me a name,' she thought. "I, um, I'm not sure." She said looking embarrassed again.
He just smiled again and said, "I'm Legolas. You should flee to the city, it's that way." He pointed in the direction the men had run to, "Tell the guards Legolas sent you, they will show you to my home."
"But, I'd rather come with you, if I can." she said trying to look as not pathetic as possible.
"Well," Legolas looked disapprovingly at her, snapped his fingers and said, "If you really want to."
The unnamed girl looked at her clothes, they had changed again. Picture something like a mix between a ranger's clothes and a Mirkwood elf's. I don't know either. "Wow," she said looking up at Legolas, "You're like a magic dress faerie."
"Yeah," he replied, "I get that all the time."
:} :} :} :} :}
They were in a clearing firing arrows at a big Balrogish thingie.
It (I'm going to refer to the Balrogish thingie as it) began to advance on her (the girl I have not named); she reached back at her quiver (came with the outfit) only to find that it was empty. She began to back away looking panicked when she heard Legolas' voice "Run!" he called to her. She didn't need to be told that twice.
She ran into the forest and stopped dead (not literally). The creepy black hooded things were all around her. She fell to the ground (out of fear or tripping, I dunno).
Suddenly a man came running out of the trees wildly waving fiery sticks at the creepy black hooded things. They ran away crying just as Legolas ran up.
"Ah, I see you have met my friend, this is …" Legolas said to her.
"I think I can introduce myself, Legolas." The man cut him off, "I am Araporn, King of Gonwhore." He said proudly, "Wait that isn't right!" he sounded more embarrassed then she/her/whoever had ever been. Legolas was rolling around on the ground laughing.
"Araporn! HA! HA! HA! *snort* HA! HA!" he was shouting loudly and other elves were coming to see what was so funny.
"He said Araporn, king of Gonwhore!" Legolas explained to them.
"HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" the sound of Elvish laughter was heard all over the forest.
"I meant Aragorn, king of Gondor! I meant Aragorn, king of Gondor!" cried poor Arapo- I mean Aragorn.
The other elves eventually left. Aragorn and the girl stood there for a while waiting for Legolas to stop laughing, and finally he stopped. "I haven't laughed that hard for a hundred years!" he said wiping tears from his eyes and smiling widely.
Aragorn tried to ignore him, "And who are you, fair maiden?" he asked the gorgeous girl.
"She doesn't know," Legolas replied for her.
Aragorn looked at her an extremely confused look, and then he started giggling madly.
"Well, you couldn't introduce yourself either!" The beauty who doesn't have a name tried to defend herself. Aragorn immediately shut up.
"Then what in Middle Earth am I supposed to call you?" Aragorn asked.
"Well," she thought for a moment, "people usually call me 'Hey, hot girl" or 'Raving Beauty' or sometimes they call me 'You stupid little *swear word*!' I dunno really, that annoying idiot of an author didn't give me a name."
Aragorn looked deep in thought. It didn't seem to suit him well. "How about I just call you 'She,' 'Her,' 'That girl,' and 'You,'"
She nodded. "Ok, fine with me. Can I call you Araporn?"
Aragorn glared at her and Legolas started laughing again.
"HA! HA! HA! *snort* HA! HA! Araporn! HA! HA!"
:} :} :} :} :}
When Legolas stopped laughing, they went to his palace place. They immediately went to council with Thranduil about the "It." You know, that thing that was completely forgotten. Just it isn't forgotten anymore. Ok then, so, they were talking about the big thing. She saw that Boromir (alive for some reason) and Faramir were there. After a while, Thranduil finally noticed that Hey, hot girl was there.
"Um," he asked. "Who in the name of all the Valar is she?"
"She doesn't know," Legolas answered quickly.
"Is she retarded?" Thranduil said side-ways to his son.
"HEY, I HEARD THAT!" Raving beauty, um, raved. (whatever…;])
"Is she an elf?" Thranduil asked.
"No, you're just talking really loud Mister-king-and-Legolas's dad-guy," she said.
"Oh," the king of Mirkwood said. "Legolas? Is she ANOTHER one? How many times have I told you to stop bringing home really hot babes!"
"Hehehe, thank you," the hot babe giggled.
"But Daaaaad!" Legolas whined. "She's different! She's prettier than the other ones were!"
"That's what you always say!" Thranduil scolded. "You always bring beautiful girls who appear out of nowhere and are wearing trousers!"
"We can get her a dress! I'm sure she looks really good in one!" Legolas continued whining. After he's done, he side-ways glances (for a few minutes) at her butt. She turned a little bit and stuck it out. "REALLY good in a dress…" Legolas drooled.
Thranduil sighed and looked too. "Ffffiiiiiinnnne…" he murmured. "Oh, um, I meant: Fine, Legolas. We will get her a dress and see how she looks. The dressing rooms for Legolas's drag-ins are out the hall. Turn left, and the third door on the right."
"Can I take her?" Legolas asked anxiously.
"No," Thranduil said flatly. "Do you remember the last time I let you show a girl to the dressing rooms for your drag-ins? I'm not letting you loose your dignity like that again."
"Too late for that," Faramir whispered to his brother as Legolas hopped up and down in excitement that he might get to have the girl spend the night.
:} :} :} :} :}
After a little, or big, while, You stupid little *swear word* returned, now wearing a dark green silky dress. It scooped dangerously low in front. So, everyone saw almost too much and the ring on its chain. Boromir got a sudden twitch in his eye and then screamed "MINE! I WILL RULE THE WORLD!" as he ran to the girl. He grabbed the ring. The girl screamed as he touched way too near bad places. "YOU *swear word*!" she yelled. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
Boromir clutched at the ring protectively and glared at her with an evil look in his eye. He finally lost the funny look in his eye and returned to his normal self. "Oops," he said when he realized where his hand was. "Who woulda thought that I woulda touched you there?" He left his hand there until she angrily slapped him across the cheek. Boromir walked back to his brother and giggled.
Legolas gave Boromir a death stare and grabbed the girl's arm. "Can I keep her?" he asked his dad hopefully.
"Yyyeeesss…" Thranduil replied with a dreamy look on his face. "Oh, um, I meant: Yes, Legolas. You may keep her. But you must remember to feed her and clean up after her. A girl is a big responsibility, you know."
"I promise to do everything I need to! Yay!" he hugged the girl and started hopping again.
A/N: Wow, this is the first fanfic I've written by myself! Well, my sister did come up with the nicknames and the girl/pet thing, but everything else is mine! I did forget 1 very important thing though: the girl needs a name. In your reviews pleeeeezzzz suggest names for her! Thanx!