The Book of Thieves

Chapter 1

'Kenny! Ya there Kenny? Kenny!

'Yea I can here you, loud and… very loud.' I whisper rubbing my ear. God that hurt like a bitch.

'Oh, sorry, I'm just a little nervous. Breaking into Police Headquarters does that to me.' Kyle whispers.

'Hey! You're nice and safe in the van, while I'm here risking my ass by stealing that file from Inspector Bebe.'

'Well, count on me to be your eyes and ears Kenny, I've got their entire security system totally scoped. To get inside you have go through an air vent, see any?'

I quickly look around the roof of the police building. The light of the moon illuminating the roof tops of Paris. Soon I see a air vent, a decent size, enough for me to crawl into. 'Yea I see one.' I say.

'Okay, try to break it open with your cane. Call me back once you're inside the Headquarters.' Kyle hangs up the Binoc-U-Com* and I'm left all alone.

I take my cane* and jump off the chimney, landing perfectly on my feet. I get in athletic position and charge toward the air vent. I swing my cane, breaking the vents into pieces. I get on my stomach and crawl inside the air vent.

Soon, I find a opening that goes straight down into the building. I look down and see a shitload of lasers, intersecting one another. Oh crap, how the hell am I going to get through all this? Ah well screw it. I jump straight down, and of course, I break one of the laser beams, which sets off an alarm. Oh God, the noise hurts my fucking ears. I turn around and see the alarm behind blaring its horns. I grab my cane and swung at it. Destroying the alarm into 4 pieces. Then, immediately, the lasers disappear. I stop to hear if there is any footsteps coming towards my direction. Thank God there isn't.

I randomly start walking the empty halls of the police station. Left and right I see pictures of thugs, wanted dead or alive, billboards that have reports of missing people, etc. I smile as soon as I see pictures of me, Kyle, Stan and Cartman. Wanted dead. Aw, look, we're on their Top 10 Wanted list. I then remembered to call Kyle. I took out my Binoc-U- Com and dialed him.

'Nice work getting in Kenny, now find Inspector Bebe's office, which is behind a red door.' He says. I continue walking down the halls, and as soon as I make a left, I see her office. I walked over and tried to open it. It's locked, damn. But since the officers in this station are about as smart as a rock, they left the window open. I looked out and see ledges are just enough for me to sneak into her office window. I climbed to the balcony and press my back toward the outside wall and slowly start moving toward the left.

Once I'm near her office window, I grabbed the window sill and climbed inside.

Inside Bebe's office I see her desk, with pictures of me and my 3 friends. She's been hunting us down for years ever since she joined the police department. I'm pretty sure her main goal in life is to bring us to justice, like that's ever going to happen.

I snoop around her office, trying to find my police file, but no luck. As I'm about to leave her office, I spy something behind her desk. I look closer and see a small vault. This has got to be where my file is. I ring up Kyle, and sure enough he knows the code to unlock this vault.

Gotta love Kyle, always knows what to do and can hack a computer in under 2 minuets.

I dial the number 9-3-7 and sure enough the vault opens. I smirk like a psychopath as I see my name on a police file. I extended my hand out and quickly grabbed it, and stuffed it into my backpack. I also get out my Binoc- U- Com and dial Stan.

'What's up Kenny?' He greets me.

'Stan, are you guys in the parking lot?'

'Yea, just go through the fire escape, we'll be waiting in the getaway van.'

I look out another window which leads toward the fire escape. I hurry out just in time to hear someone yell 'Criminal!'

And soon enough I see Bebe, shaking her fist at me.

'Finally I caught you red-handed!' She yells.

I decide to mess around with her, this should be fun.

'Ah, Bebe, haven't seen you since I gave you that slip in Bombay.'

'Thanks for reminding me thief, you need to return the Firestone of India to it's rightful owners.'

'Aw, but I was going to give it to you as a gift- hey, you know, that pistol really brings out the color of your eyes.' I say smoothly.

'You think? This pistol packs a punch, which might snap you out of your crime spree.' She glares at me.

'And give up our little rendezvous?' I grin at her

'Plenty of time for that once you're in jail.' She says smoothly.

'I would love to stick around and chat, but I just dropped by to pick up this case file, I think you've had it long enough.'

With that I jump off the fire escape and landed on the ground.

Bang!

I see a bullet hit the ground, way to close to my foot. I look up and see Bebe positioning her gun straight at me. As if on cue, I see the van pulling up towards the exit of the parking lot. I sprint towards it, dodging the bullets Bebe shoots at me.

As I near the back of the van, the doors swing open, revealing Kyle and Stan. At the last 4 feet, I jump in. Kyle swings the doors shut and I land on the ground, on my stomach, with a thud. Cartman drives at full speed away from the Police Station, and I can hear Bebe faintly yell,

'You can't escape me McCormick!'

A/N: You're probably wondering, 'How the hell did you come up with this?' I was bored okay! I was playing the game, Sly Cooper and The Thievius Raccoonus (Funny name I know) on the PS2 and all of a sudden, I just got this idea in my head. And thus this was born. If you reviewers actually want me to continue with this, I'll be more than happy to.

Cane*: A weapon which Sly (Main character of Sly cooper) uses for climbing and attacking enemies. I estimate about 4 feet tall. On one end it has a hook-like shape.

Binco-U-Com*: A device which Sly talks with Bentley or Murray. Can also be used as a binocular.