AN: Hello, darlings! It's good to see you all again. This is a RomCom AU, which my mother recently informed me is loosely based off of Picture Perfect, a movie starring Jennifer Anniston, that I have never seen. =P I hope you all like it! I'm excited to get going, but I must warn you, there will be cliches. Consider yourself warned.
"You won't believe the lineup I've got, Mercedes." Quinn Fabray began as her high heels clicked on the Los Angeles sidewalk beneath her. "All of a sudden, an influx of calls came in, and back-to-back, I have a wedding, a sweet sixteen, and two birthday parties all within the next few months. Plus, I've got Crave's anniversary bash coming up, too. It must be since summer is coming up, everyone's in the partying mood."
Her friend seemed less than amused, since she hadn't gotten a word in with Quinn since they began talking. "Wow, you're a busy girl. But you know you gotta pay off that swanky new apartment of yours, so in the bold words of Britney Spears, you better work, bitch."
Quinn laughed at Mercedes' joke before sandwiching her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she walked into the workplace of her other best friend. She was delivering Santana Lopez's lunch, like she did every Wednesday, and was also going there to meet up with the Crave magazine executives to talk about the party she was planning for them.
"Now, girl, when are you going to let me hook you up with that cute guy I found for you here in Lima?"
Mercedes Jones, Quinn's best friend, had gone to visit family in Lima, Ohio, and had stayed for a month. Two days into her trip, she'd texted Quinn about a boy she met at the movie theatre who she thought would be absolutely perfect for Quinn. She acted flattered, but really- Did she even have time to date right now? She'd just moved into her new apartment, was barely unpacked, and just booked four events to plan in the next three months. Men were not on the agenda. Not right now.
"When pigs wearing blue garters and wedding veils fly, Mercedes. I'm sure Archie is a nice guy, but not right now. Especially long distance."
She could almost hear Mercedes' eyes rolling. "It's Artie, darling. And it wouldn't be long distance for long, since he's actually planning to move to LA himself."
Quinn pressed the door of Santana's workplace closed with her rear-end, and presented the girl, standing by the door, with her orange chicken and chow mein. "Well whoop-dee-doo for him. I hope he likes it out here. Now, I have to go, I'm kinda busy , alright?"
Mercedes' sigh was loud and dramatic. "Bye. I'll be texting you later."
"Bye." Quinn cooed, before finally letting the girl go via the END button. She rolled her eyes to Santana. "That woman is always trying to set me up with someone."
Santana Lopez rolled her eyes back, and bumped hips with her friend. "Well, why wouldn't she? You're hot shit." Quinn tried to think of how to put it- She was too busy, she didn't have the time, she didn't need a guy…There were so many ways to put it.
"That doesn't matter when I'm juggling five events to plan." Quinn sighed. "I mean, I'd like a guy to wake up to every morning just as much as any other straight girl or gay guy in LA. But, you know, I love what I do. And if that means I have to put off dating for a while, then so be it. I'm content. I've got a gorgeous apartment, a job that keeps me busy, and friends who keep me on my toes. What more could a girl ask for?" She spoke with a sarcastic tone, but was being completely serious.
"Dick." was all that Santana said in response. She tended to make a lot of jokes about Quinn's nonexistent sex life, and since she was a lesbian, it made it even more ironic. "Now, speaking of dicks, Puckerman at twelve o'clock."
Before Quinn could turn to avoid her ex-boyfriend who ended up cheating on her with one Rachel Berry, the Entertainment columnist over at Crave, Santana pushed her toward him and walked away. She couldn't stand the guy. He broke her heart, after all. And though he kept hinting at getting back together, Quinn had no intentions of doing so. The only reason she even spoke to the man was because their insulting badinage was much too fun to stop.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Quinn Fabray. How's the party coming along? I assume my invite is in the mail?"
Quinn gave a sigh. "I'm not sure mopping the floors of the building is enough of a reason for an invite." She blatantly gave him an up-and-down scan of his janitor's attire- blue button-down shirt with nametag in the corner, and a pair of blue jeans and working boots.
"I'm a maintenance manager." He corrected.
"Glorified janitor."
"I make more than you do."
She couldn't respond to that since, well, he was right. Instead, she shook her head slowly. "When are you going to leave me alone?"
"Not til I find out whether you have any new tattoos that I can't see. It's been two years, after all. I've changed, so I don't doubt that you have." Puck smirked. There was a part of her that found that undeniably sexy, but it was completely overpowered by the part of her that wanted to smack the smug look off of his face.
She glared, "You're a pig."
"And you're a frigid bitch." Puck retorted. Before Quinn could chew him out, he quickly added, "But that's what I like about you. And I mean, it's not like you've found some new boyfriend to torture."
"Yeah, well, I do. I have one of those- a boyfriend. So I guess you're out of luck." Her rambling couldn't have possibly been fooling him, but he did seem to be intimidated by this (fake) knowledge of her (imaginary) new boyfriend. Quinn decided it was time to leave him to his Mr. Clean duties before she got herself in deeper. "Well, it's been sufficiently awkward seeing you again, Puck. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to go to." She practically hissed that statement before turning on her heel and meeting Santana. She was sitting in her cubicle, talking to Sam Evans, Mercedes' boyfriend and Quinn's long-time friend. He was the graphic designer of the magazine.
"This magazine is turning fifty in a few weeks." Santana was sharing, "When Oprah turned fifty, she had the most-watched episode of her show by far. I want people to be talking about this bash for so freakin' long, their grandkids will know what kind of champagne was served." She noticed Quinn walking over to them and gave a sly smile. "Ah, just the girl I was looking for."
Quinn crossed her arms over her chest when she slowed to a stop. "That wasn't funny. You know I can't stand him."
"Yeah, but the sexual tension is still there. I was just giving your little candy ass the push you needed. It's about time you got some because I don't know how much longer I can deal with your uptight little self anymore. That is not something I want to have to write in the article I'm putting about you in Crave."
Before Quinn could say anything, she was instantly stopped by those words. "An…article? About me?" she smiled. Santana gave a shrug.
"Badass working woman in LA, making a name for herself in the event planning industry? Seems pretty article-worthy to me, chica."
She could've dropped her coffee on the Crave building's clean, gray carpet. "O-oh my God, Santana…That's huge! Thank you so much." She knelt and gave her friend a tight hug.
"Yeah, don't get all mushy on me though. I need to draw that fire inside of you as inspiration."
Quinn would have stayed and thanked Santana a thousand times over, but the clock was counting down the seconds to the time they'd have to meet in the meeting hall, where Quinn would pitch her ideas for their anniversary party.
After the meeting, writers, editors, and managers of Crave magazine were giving Quinn handshakes and pats on the back, as they were so excited for their party after hearing what Quinn had planned. Santana had left to schmooze her bosses, which left Quinn and Sam. He helped Quinn pack up her easel and poster board silently before actually speaking.
"This party means a lot to her…Santana, I mean. She's really trying to make it in this business, and she referred you as the planner. This could get her in good with the Big Kahunas." His full lips turned up into a smirk, which Quinn met with her own.
"I know. I only hope I can help her out in that way." She sighed. This was her biggest job to date- it was going to be publicized; celebrities were going to be there. It was huge. If it didn't go right, it wouldn't only ruin her, but also Santana's position, and Crave as a magazine. She tried not to let it show, but that idea terrified her inside. "Mercedes is coming home in a few days."
Quinn sensed Sam's excitement. "I know! I missed her way too much. Has she talked to you about Artie, yet?"
She nearly collapsed then and there. What was everyone's sick obsession with her love life? "Yes! She won't stop talking about Artie. I don't want to date right now, simple as that. I may be twenty-six, my days may be numbered, I may die a woman who hadn't had a legitimate healthy relationship since high school. But guess what? I don't care."
She looked to Sam to find him standing farther than he was standing before. She had actually made the guy recoil in fear.
"Don't kill me, but…I think you care."
"Don't tempt me, because…I think you're wrong."
Sam gave a small, uncomfortable laugh before checking his watch. "Oh, wouldja look at that. I have…things…to do. " he chuckled, before comically running out of the room. Quinn rolled her eyes at her friend, who she was convinced was actually a cartoon character in disguise.
She rummaged through her tote bag to find her wallet- She was starved, and there was a vending machine right outside of the meeting hall. She made her way out of the door, and just when she was about to put her dollar in, her phone vibrated. Quinn took it out to find that Mercedes had texted her- "Media content in this message", it said. She opened the message, to find a picture of a guy with glasses, brown hair, and royal blue eyes. He looked as though the camera had taken him by surprise, as he was stuffing a Hostess cupcake into his mouth. Must have been Artie. She admitted, he was really, really cute. Not the kind of guy she usually went for, but Mercedes was always telling her it was time for a change. What was she doing? She was considering this. She rolled her eyes, and was about to put the phone away, before hearing a voice come up behind her.
"Is that him?" it asked. Quinn jumped, to find Noah Puckerman behind her, looking over her shoulder at the picture.
"Is that who?" she asked, not even hiding her irritation.
"The new boyfriend."
She couldn't believe he was still on that. She couldn't believe that that was the only thing that kept him off her back. But she couldn't give him the satisfaction. Quinn knew there was a part of her that still loved this guy, but she had to suppress it if she wanted to keep her heart intact. She couldn't let herself succumb to her insecurities. She had to get him away from her for good.
"Yep. Isn't he just positively perfect?"
Quinn watched as Puck scoffed, before throwing his rag over his shoulder and sauntering away. "Yeah, if you like geek chic, sure." He said over his shoulder. She let out a long, heaving sigh. Finally, she got him off of her back…Except it was with a lie. But the way he recoiled, the way he looked like he didn't believe her, but knew that she didn't really have much of a reason to lie…It was strangely satisfying. Quinn found herself smirking down at her phone- This guy with royal blue eyes and glasses may have been her way out. A little white lie never hurt anyone…Maybe Artie's picture could be her little white lie. No one had to know. If it kept Puckerman off of her back, then she'd be able to focus on her work instead of warding him off.
Wow, Mercedes. Quinn replied. He's actually really cute. Show me another?
Over the next few days, every time Puck was in eyeshot, Quinn took the opportunity to show Santana or Sam the pictures she'd acquired of Artie, really talking about how pathetic Mercedes made her look to him, but making it seem as if she was gushing about her positively perfect boyfriend. Every day he got less and less persistent. This was really going to work.
The day Mercedes came home from Ohio, Quinn came to her doorstep, Starbucks in hand, so they could reunite. She rang the doorbell and tapped her pointed nude pumps anxiously. She had so much to tell her- how great the party was coming along, how she finally washed Puck out of her hair for good…
Finally, the girl came to the door and gave an excited shriek, which Quinn returned. "I missed you so much!" Mercedes shouted, taking her coffee from Quinn's hands and giving her a hug.
Quinn wrapped her arms around the girl and squeezed. "I missed you too. And I have great news." She began, but Mercedes cut her off.
"So do I. Let me go first."
She leaned her body against the door frame and sipped her latte, smirking at what Mercedes had to say.
Quinn watched as Mercedes turned her head over her shoulder and shouted, "She's here!"
A boy with nicely coiffed brown hair rolled into the room in a wheelchair, his royal blue eyes glimmering from behind his glasses. Quinn felt her eyes widen, and had to make sure she didn't drop her latte on Mercedes' nice tan carpet.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Quinn, Artie, Artie, Quinn." Mercedes smiled.
"Uh-um…what…is he doing…here?" Quinn asked, trying not to sound completely mortified.
Mercedes seemed taken aback by her shocked attitude. "I told you he was planning to move here, so I brought him back with me. He's staying with me and Sam until he makes up his mind." Then, lowering her tone, "I thought you liked him. That's how you made it seem in the texts."
She didn't want to say that she lied to her best friend. She didn't want to say that she virtually lead a guy on. She didn't want to say that she used a guy she didn't even know to make another guy jealous. Because, now that he was real and tangible, Quinn realized just how terrible she was.
"I-um…" she looked over Mercedes' shoulder and met Artie's gaze. He smiled, and she smiled back, halfheartedly. "…I just didn't expect him to be meeting me in your living room, is all. Can we…talk about him- about this later? I have…" Quinn glanced at an imaginary watch before backing up out of Mercedes' doorway and nearly falling over the railing. "…work. Bye." She all but ran down the stairs, and into her car, mentally cursing at herself all the way there. Maybe this wouldn't affect her at all. She tried to tell herself that LA was a big town, and that neither of them could possibly find out that she'd been using Artie as her imaginary boyfriend. But who was she kidding? What had she gotten herself into?