His sunglasses rested above his nose, black, as if he were staring into an ebony abyss. His bare, blood orange skin scorched in the sunlight. With each step he took, a feint crunch resonated in the distance. As he reposed against a cactus, the sand curdled between his toes. He was told that his opponent would soon be approaching. Based off what he heard, this mediocre baseball player, perilous astronaut, and lame surfboarder dinosaur was only but a weak, timid chub. Suddenly, the sound of wheels and a cloud of dust seemed to be approaching. When the fog cleared, the antagonist stood before him. His name: Cheeseasaurous Rex.
Cheeseasaurous Rex's dimples covered his cheeks like a blanket. His ebullient, sapphire eyes smiled at a potential friend.
"Hello, who are you?" Cheeseasaurous asked, his voice amplified by the vast emptiness surrounding them.
The cheetah glared.
"You know. You know exactly who I am. Now, say my name." The cheetah retaliated, in a cool, raspy voice.
"What? I don't have a clue who you are!" The dinosaur giggled.
"Yes you do. I'm the Cheetah. I'm the man who killed Lucky the Leprechaun. I stole his charms."
"Bullshit. The Koolaid Man is the one who got Lucky," Cheesasaurous Rex replied defensively. Who was this jungle animal to joke around, when the court case proved that Lucky was murdered by the Kool-Aid man? Murder, especially of a dinosaur's best friend, is nothing to joke about.
"You sure?" The cheetah whispered, "Now, say my name."
The wind whistled against his fur as the reptile's skin boiled like Kraft Macaroni, before the cheese came into play. Rex nodded in defeat. He knew.
"You're Chester, Chester the Cheetah."
Chester churlishly grinned, as he adjusted his sunglasses onto the bridge of his nose.
"You're goddamn right."
Chester arranged this brawl, albeit through others, when he became aware of Rex's plans to advertise a new flavor of Kraft Mac n' Cheese that rivaled his own upcoming flavor. Rex, oblivious to Chester's intentions, was previously informed by The Trix Rabbit that this arrangement was just simply a friendly business endeavor.
"So, you killed Lucky?" Rex clenched his fists.
"Of course I did. His Lucky Charms surpassed my own sales. I was looking out for myself, you know, survival of the fittest. I did it for my family," Chester grunted.
Rex didn't know what overcame him. He released a roar that shook the ground around them. It was suppressed for so long, his primal instinct to kill buried deep inside of him. Chester chuckled. How could this portly reptile even stand a chance against a slick animal such as himself?
And then Chester died.
*Play MLG music*
Dead in peace Chester the Cheetah :( 2002 - 2003