A/N: Hi! I've had this idea for a while and just finished putting it into words. This is my first time writing about some of these characters, so we'll see how this goes…
Cloud stared down at his plate, trying to ignore the fierce argument that carried over from the table next to him. But, the two overweight Smashers were shouting so loud that it was hard for anyone to ignore them.
"My motorcycle is-a-clearly the best around here!" Wario declared haughtily.
"Only in Dream Land!" King Dedede retorted. "My Wheelie Bike is way better!"
"My Wario Bike is way faster than your one wheeled disaster!" Wario shot back, glaring sharply at the massive penguin.
Some of the other Smashers shook their heads warily and focused intently on their dinner, clearly wanting the argument to end.
"How long have those two been going at it?" Corrin asked, throwing a distasteful glance over at the two villains.
"Three hours." Ike answered knowingly, looking up from his chicken.
"I'm surprised you're not getting involved in this, Cloud." Shulk said, staring across the table at the blonde soldier.
"Why would I want to?" Cloud muttered, absent mindedly moving the food around on his plate.
"Don't you have a bike?" the Manado wielder asked, having seen the black motorcycle parked alongside other vehicles in the mansion's large garage.
"Yeah. What's your point?" Cloud asked bitterly, the fighting in the background only serving to worsen his mood.
"You better not let them know you have one." Corrin warned in a hushed tone, pointing to Wario and King Dedede.
"Oh, relax." Shulk said, glancing at the two villains. "They're too busy yelling at each other to hear us."
"You-a-know what?" Wario's voice rang out through the hall, snapping everyone's attention back to him. "I challenge you to a race!"
"Fine!" King Dedede answered. "Then we'll prove once and for all that my motorcycle is better than yours!" The giant penguin inhaled the rest of his dinner and got up from the table.
Cloud thought the conflict was over for the night, but then Wario walked up to his table, almost knocking over his soda. Apparently, he had heard Shulk's comment after all. "You're joining our little race, too, right?"' Wario asked.
"Not interested." Cloud muttered, staring down at his vegetables, the only things on his plate that hadn't been touched.
King Dedede walked up next to Wario and faced Cloud. "No, you're just afraid!" he declared provocatively.
"I'm not-!" Cloud started to protest, but Wario interrupted him.
"Oh, you couldn't beat us anyway!" he taunted, his voice dripping with cockiness.
Ike and some of the other Smashers at Cloud's table opened their mouths to retort, but Cloud shot them a withering look that clearly said he would handle this alone. He turned back to Wario and Dedede. "I don't have to prove anything to either of you." Cloud stated, his temper rising. Though a motorcycle race did sound pretty thrilling, he didn't want to have to deal with Wario's and Dedede's constant arguing. "Besides," the soldier added. "I'd win too easily."
"What'd you say?" Wario asked, his face growing as red as a Maximum Tomato.
Cloud thought this sight amusing, and he calmed down slightly. "I knew you were a bad driver, but I didn't know you couldn't hear." The soldier glared directly into Wario's eyes. "Now take your argument somewhere else. I want no further part of it."
A few Smashers looked up from their food, their interest in the conflict renewed, and watched Wario as he struggled to find his next words.
"N-Now you're just making excuses!" Wario sputtered accusingly. "No wonder Sephiroth always-!" But, the chubby man didn't get to finish his sentence, having crossed a line that few ever managed to.
Crash! At the mention of Sephiroth's name, plates and cutlery skidded across the table as Cloud jumped to his feet, his hands clenched into tight fists. Smashers from the surrounding tables looked up with a start, their curious stares now fixed on the three quarrelers. Cloud's eyes were locked on Wario, who, upon realizing his big mistake, shrank back from the swordsman's fiery gaze.
It wasn't the fact that Wario had brought up a sensitive subject about Cloud's past that had angered him, at least not entirely. Wario and Dedede's arguing had contributed a great deal to Cloud's temper, and thus his impulsive decision. Sephiroth just so happened to be his breaking point.
The blonde soldier took a quick, deep breath, trying to master himself, but his gaze didn't waver. "Fine." He said as calmly as he could. "I'll join your motorcycle competition, and I'll win, too." If only he had known then…
Wario had gotten over his initial shock and stepped forward, regaining his composure. "We'll be racing on Rainbow Road. Don't be late." He said, grinning smugly, then he and King Dedede walked out of the room, Wario snatching up his plate of garlic fries on the way.
"Whatever." Cloud responded, unintimidated by this news. After muttering a quick apology to those at his table, the soldier sat down, pulled his plate back towards him, and continued eating. But, thoughts of the race kept popping up in his mind, somewhat intriguing him.
What was Rainbow Road? It sounded like something out of that Candy Land game that kids play, but then why did Wario have that derisive, gloating expression on his face? And why were the other Mushroom Kingdom residents now staring at Cloud like he was crazy to accept this challenge?
Cloud stood at the starting line, staring at the track in front of him. The dazzling stripe pattern of colors and bright neon pictures were enough to make anyone's stomach churn. "Just like Candy Land…" he muttered, trying to take in the road's colorful appearance. He'd have to race on this?
Wario and Dedede stood on either side of him next to their vehicles, acting perfectly normal.
"How can you even fit on that thing?" King Dedede scoffed, shaking a fist at the massive black and yellow motorcycle across the track from him.
"It's-a- custom made!" Wario shot back defensively, jumping up onto his vehicle. "And you call that a bike?" he asked, waving his gloved hand at the red and silver Wheelie Bike's yellow hubcaps. "It-a- looks more like-a- giant gold eyeball!"
King Dedede hoisted himself onto his ride and glared at the yellow capped man with distaste. "Well, this giant gold eyeball is going to drive circles around you!"
"Driving in-a-circles is all you can do!"
Cloud sighed and crossed his arms, desperately hoping the race would start soon so his two competitors would stop arguing. He hoped this race would stem the flow of insults from these two, especially since they'd soon be geared towards him. Not that he'd be personally bothered by them, he just hoped his head wouldn't explode from their constant yelling.
The soldier fingered the piece of Red Materia on his belt. He always carried some Materia with him in case of emergencies, and Wario's and Dedede's arguing was beginning to count as one according to him. If the race didn't quiet them down, then the crystal certainly would.
Right on cue, Wario and Dedede seemed to remember that they had a third competitor.
"…At least my bike doesn't take up half the track like this one here!" Wario responded to a barb from Dedede. The stout man then turned to the blonde warrior. "What do you even use that thing for?" he asked, motioning to Cloud's large, black vehicle.
"I run a delivery service." Cloud clipped impatiently, climbing onto his motorcycle. He almost wished he was on route now. Then at least he could actually enjoy the ride; the rush of the wind through his hair and on his face as he zipped along the road at a hundred miles an hour, as if to leave all care behind.
The lazy mustached man and giant penguin king were about to respond when a booming voice startled everyone. "Welcome, Racers, to Rainbow Road!" Lakitu approached the three motorcyclists, holding a megaphone and a portable set of traffic lights. "This will be a one lap race with no time limit!" Then, the announcer said the four words that Cloud hoped would put a stop to the constant banter he had to endure. "Racers! Start your engines!"
To Cloud's pleasure and relief, Wario's and Dedede's arguing was muffled by the roar of Fenrir's engine as he turned his key in the ignition. The other two competitors powered their motorcycles, itching to get this race under way.
The three Smashers waited for Lakitu, who hovered in front of them on his cloud, to give them the green light.
"Watch out for the Chain Chomps!" Wario said derisively, a wicked grin on his face. Before Cloud could begin to wonder what Wario meant, Lakitu's light flashed green. With a rumble as loud as thunder, the three racers pulled away from the starting line.
Almost immediately, Cloud felt his stomach rise into his throat as the track sloped into a steep decline. The moving colors were already starting to make him dizzy, so instead, he kept his eyes on his two bantering competitors. The track became level once more and the racers gathered speed, zooming along the road like rockets.
"Try and keep up!" Wario taunted as he sped ahead. Since he actually knew this race course, there was no reason for him to slow down at all. There were no power-ups on the track, but that was all right. Wario had come prepared with his own secret stash.
The motorcyclists had pass through a huge rainbow hoop and were skirting around a wide right turn, when suddenly, a massive, black orb as large as a truck barreled towards them, barking and gnashing a mouthful of sharp, white, teeth. Wario and Dedede swerved in opposite directions to get out of the creature's path.
"Guess that's a Chain Chomp…" Cloud muttered, jerking his bike to the left. The three competitors hugged the star-lined edges of the road until the massive, round monster passed them.
"I thought you said you'd win this race!" Wario goaded, accelerating further ahead. Even if the soldier wanted to retort, the strong smell of garlic wafting from the chubby man ahead prevented him from opening his mouth, leaving him with two options: pass Wario, or pass out.
Cloud narrowed his eyes, and applied more force to Fenrir's throttle. The racers were weaving along the curvy road past a giant, yellow, smiling star when Cloud saw his chance. He guided his bike slowly to the right and accelerated, nearly overtaking the yellow capped man.
The soldier was about to take first place, when… crash! Cloud was hit with something big and hard, and the next thing he knew, his bike was flying through the air! He had gotten too close to King Dedede, and the giant penguin had clobbered him with his massive hammer, sending him flying off the track. Cloud gripped Fenrir's handlebars as the motorcycle spun through the air, falling like a rock towards the pit of endless blackness.
"Wahahahaha!" Wario laughed loudly as he zoomed away, but then King Dedede bashed him, too, sending him spinning across the track, though not over the edge. Now the giant penguin was the only one gloating.
"Hey!" Wario yelled angrily! "You can't-a-bring a mallet to a motorcycle race!"
"There was never a rule against it!" Dedede pointed out smugly, and zoomed ahead.
Wario quickly straightened out his bike and chased after the king, enraged. Then, he grinned mischievously. "There was also never a rule against this!" he retorted, and pulled out a spiky, blue, turtle shell.
"Aahh!" Dedede screamed, trying, and failing, to outrun the speedy projectile. With a powerful explosion, the flying shell sent his Wheelie Bike soaring through the air. Dedede landed with a thud on the colored track, and as he revved up his bike again, he wished he had taken a page from Wario's book and thought to dig through the Smash item closet, too.
Cloud, having just been rescued by Lakitu, listened as the sounds of his competitors' motorcycles faded farther and farther away, along with their bantering. Though he would have liked to complete the rest of the drive without Wario and Dedede's constant yelling, he knew that if he lost this race, he'd have to endure their boisterous boasting for the rest of the century, and he definitely didn't need that.
Cloud continued driving, trying not to be distracted by the blinding neon pictures of Mushroom Kingdom residents, when suddenly, Fenrir jerked to the right and spun out! The soldier hit the brakes and looked down at the road. He grimaced as he noticed the banana peel he had run over, cleverly concealed by the stripe of lemon yellow on the rainbow track. "Wario." Cloud thought bitterly, trying to get his bike going again.
He exerted more force on Fenrir's throttle and sped down the track. Wario and Dedede were no doubt almost at the finish line. Everything had been stacked against him in this race, from giant monster orbs to tricky banana peels, and the soldier had had enough of it. Cloud would have to pull out all the stops if he wanted to win this race, and he thought he knew just how to do it.
The soldier slowly reached down and pulled the glimmering, red Materia crystal from his belt. Just one word would surely end this race in his favor. Cloud smirked, then raised the magical crystal in the air.
"Ifrit!"
Wario and Dedede were pushing their motorcycles to the limit in a fierce fight for the lead. The continuous flow of banter and insults hadn't stemmed in the slightest. The finish line was now in sight, and the two racers didn't even slow down as the track dipped and rose like a roller coaster.
"It feels-a-good to be on top." Wario sighed contentedly as he passed Dedede, who had just been hit by a Chain Chomp.
"Enjoy it while you can." Dedede grumbled as he reoriented himself, practically willing his Wheelie Bike on with his mind, as if that would make it go faster.
"I'm-a-gonna win!" Wario cheered, his motorcycle doing almost a hundred.
Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, an enormous wall of flames sprang up in front of the two racers. "Waaaaaaaaah!" Wario screamed in terror as his bike spun out of control. He and Dedede were surrounded by a red-hot inferno. Massive bursts of scorching fire rained down around them like meteorites, and tendrils of flame coiled in the skies above.
"What in Dream Land is that?" Dedede cried in shock, gazing up at the sky as if he might have a heart attack.
"I-a-don't know!" Wario yelled back, too startled to think properly.
A gigantic, flaming creature flew above them, the source of the blazing inferno. The two racers mirrored the looks of horror on each other's faces, and the roar of the flames echoed in their ears so strongly that they didn't notice the large, black motorcycle and its blonde rider as they passed swiftly through the fire storm, protected from the flames by a vibrant, red glow.
"That's it!" Wario screamed, having gathered his wits. This race was his idea, and he was not about to let his victory go up in smoke. He broke out the last of his secret stash of items, an invincibility star! "Later!" he cried, his body now as colorful as the track he raced on.
As quickly as they came, the powerful flames from the monstrous dragon subsided, and Wario continued racing, determined not to let anything else get in his way. However, when he reached the finish line, he was horrified to see that someone had already beat him to it.
Wario slammed the brakes and his motorcycle skidded to a stop. His jaw dropped down to his stomach in shock, and his eyes looked like they might pop out of his head. A few moments later, Dedede pulled up next to the yellow capped man, staring dumbfounded at the finish line, where their third competitor now waited.
Cloud gazed at his fellow racers, arms folded confidently across his chest. "Looks like I won." he said, his blue eyes glinting with amusement. Then, the soldier revved up Fenrir's engine and drove away, leaving Wario and King Dedede to stare after him, their mouths agape, wondering what in the world just happened.
A/N: Sorry if this was a little short. I had trouble thinking of things that would keep the race interesting…
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! And, if you did, I have more stories for Smash and other games.