James started to notice something was wrong during their train ride back to Hogwarts, a few days after their first year Christmas holidays. Naturally, he searched around the Platform like crazy for Sirius to introduce him to his parents – James told them everything about his new best friend during the holidays, and they were eager to meet Sirius as well — but the other Gryffindor simply wasn't there, and James couldn't help but feel slightly worried.
Finally, a few minutes before 10 o'clock, his parents urged him to board the Hogwarts Express, saying there would be plenty of other opportunities for them to meet Sirius. James frowned at the words, but boarding the train also meant finding Sirius, since that was the only possible place for him to be considering he wasn't anywhere on the Platform.
Soon enough he found the compartment occupied by his three friends, Sirius included. Said Gryffindor was smiling and chatting with them like nothing was wrong, and James felt a pang of annoyance.
"Oy! Where were you?" James asked as he stepped inside, not bothering to greet them properly.
Sirius blinked at him. "I missed you too, mate."
James groaned, plopping down on the seat in front of the black-haired boy. "Didn't we agree to wait on the Platform for each other? My parents were there!"
"Oh," Sirius glanced away, looking slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, I forgot. Uh, my parents dropped me here and I stepped inside right away."
James sighed. There was no use in being mad if Sirius had forgotten about it; after all, like his parents had said, there would be other opportunities. "Fine," he said. "What are you up to, anyways?"
"My mother has a book about Hogwarts," Remus spoke up with a certain glint in his eyes, which was a rather rare sight (it's the same one Sirius sports when he and James are coming up with some kind of prank). "It's even older than Hogwarts, A History, and they've stopped selling it a long time ago. It has some maps of the school, including some empty rooms apparently no one uses anymore. I told her I was going to use it for extra reading for History of Magic, so she let me borrow it."
James beamed. "Remmy, that's brilliant!" he said. "D'you reckon we'll be able to finish the dungeons?"
A few weeks before Christmas, they came up with the idea of producing a map of Hogwarts for pranking purposes. Remus was against it at first, saying it was going to be way too complex, and Peter was all of it, but the idea had been both James and Sirius'. For now, they only wanted to sketch down a rough plant of the castle, and then add the useful features later – which would certainly require even more research. James wasn't looking forwards for that specific part, but the outcome would surely be worth it.
He chanced a glance towards Sirius as Remus explained what exactly he had found out, expecting to find an excited smile on his friend's face that mirrored his own. However, even though Sirius seemed happy enough, there was something off and distant about him, something James couldn't exactly pinpoint but that worried him.
He nudged Sirius with his foot, smile widening once he caught his friend's attention. Sirius' familiar mischievous smirk was all he needed in response.
Sirius didn't talk about his family often but James knew there was something weird about them. That was why he didn't insist on meeting them once they were back on the Platform a few months later for the summer holidays, but he did convince his friend to talk to his parents. He was going to invite Sirius to his house during their long school-free months – and also Remus and Peter if they were free – but he didn't want to postpone this meeting any further. Therefore, as soon as they stepped out of the train James dragged Sirius behind him to where he had already spotted his parents.
He let them hug him briefly (to save himself from the embarrassment) and then tugged Sirius forwards. His friend smiled uncertainly up to his parents, and that's probably the first time James saw Sirius looking anywhere nervous. He made a mental note to tease him about it later.
"So you must be Sirius," his mother smiled. "It's really nice to meet you. James told us about all the trouble you two have been getting yourselves in."
For a second Sirius looked even more hesitant, but a brilliant smile spread across his face once he noticed Euphemia Potter was merely joking. "Of course, Mrs. Potter. It's been a pleasure."
Fleamont Potter laughed heartily, placing a hand on Sirius shoulder. "I can surely imagine it. But please take it easy on Professor McGonagall, we already have a collection of letters from her back at home."
His father sounded just a bit stern, but the two boys still managed to detect the playfulness in his tone. Sirius was about to answer when something behind the Potter couple caught his attention, and all at once he looked nervous as he had been at the start of the conversation.
"Yes, Mr. Potter," he said, and James noticed his smile was forced. "Uh, I have to– My parents are waiting for me, so–"
"Oh, of course dear, you go and find them," Euphemia smiled. "Now, you're welcome to come and stay with us whenever you want, alright?"
"Yeah," James agreed. "I'll invite Remmy and Pete, too."
Sirius nodded, and looked ready to go. James thought about hugging him goodbye for a second, but it would probably be awkward; instead, he placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder like his father had done, and squeezed it reassuringly before letting go. He missed his friend already. Even though they would probably see each other during summer, they would had to spend the first few weeks apart to spend proper time with family and blah, blah, blah.
He convinced his parents to talk to Remus and Peter as well before leaving, but the icy look Mrs. Black shot him as Sirius walked towards her and her husband was enough to keep him distracted until then.
Funnily enough, James met Sirius a few days later out of pure coincidence.
Fleamont Potter was an Auror, and while most of the time he worked in field, he sometimes had to stop by the Ministry of Magic to fill some paperwork, or to attend meetings. James had never been to the Ministry of Magic before, and when his father asked him if he wanted to tag along so he could show him around, he couldn't refuse it.
After floo-ing to the Ministry and stepping out of a large fireplace (the largest James had ever seen) they walked through some kind of main square towards some lifts. His father seemed to know everyone who stepped in and out, since all of them greeted him in different ways before heading to their own departments.
They visited the Aurors' department first, and all of his dad's coworkers were delighted to meet him (well, but who wouldn't?) and didn't even have to say much before James was convinced this is what he wanted to do when he grew up. All of them were just so cool.
However, when a man with a scowling, scarred face (really, it was worse than Remmy's, that poor guy) and a magical eye stomped inside the room, all of them turned back to work. Fleamont smiled at James knowingly, who beamed back at him – that was his boss, Alastor Moody.
He was the coolest of them all, honestly, and James stepped out of them room with the words "Constant vigilance!" repeating over and over again inside his head.
His father stopped to talk to another man as they were making their way back to the lifts. Absentmindedly, James looked around until he spotted a familiar someone standing a few meters away, looking just as out of place as he felt despite the excitement.
He sprinted forwards, a wide smile spreading on his face as he approached Sirius quickly. He collided roughly against his friend, who thankfully didn't lose his balance as James jumped on his back.
"What the– James?"
"The one and only," he laughed.
Sirius shocked face was soon replaced by an amused one as he laughed with his friend, shaking his head. "Did you really have to attack me? And what are you–"
"I came with my dad," he said, looking and pointing behind them to where said man was looking at them amusedly. "You came with yours?"
"Yeah," Sirius nodded, and that solemn expression James didn't like at all was back. "Uh, I'm just waiting for him. He went into that room to talk to someone."
James looked briefly at the door Sirius pointed at a few meters away from them. "I didn't get your response to my letter yet," he pointed out, changing the topic. "Did your parents let you come over? Remmy and Pete already said yes."
"Sorry," Sirius sighed. "It took a while, but Mother said yes. I guess she's eager to spend more time away from me, since I just keep causing trouble at home."
James snickered. "That's the spirit," he said. "Mum told me the same thing… But I guess it'll only be worse once you guys arrive."
Sirius laughed again just as the door opened, and his father stepped out. He was tall, had the same black hair and icy silver eyes as Sirius. He nodded once to James before looking pointedly at his son, who instantly stepped away.
"I'll see you in two weeks," he smiled, before turning away.
As he did so his black hair got out of the way, and James didn't miss the dark bruise underneath Sirius' cheekbone.
James had a few days to think about it before his friends arrived. Remus sent him a letter on the same day he and Sirius met at the Ministry, notifying James he would arrive a few days later because he had gotten unexpectedly sick. This, together with Sirius' odd bruise that got engraved on James' mind, worried him deeply. Even though Remus got sick all the time (the Hospital Wing was basically his second home), it never failed to make James feel bad. They joked about it, but Remus pale face and tired eyes when he came back to the dormitory sometimes haunted him in his nightmares, and despite not talking directly about it, James, Sirius and Peter tried their best to make him feel better by stealing chocolate from the kitchens to give it to him or by properly paying attention in class to give him notes for the classes he missed.
Sirius' bruise was new though, and that managed to concern James even more. Sirius wasn't clumsy, and James couldn't think of an accident that could have harmed his friend in that particular area.
His thoughts drifted away to Mrs. and Mr. Black, who were both the unfriendliest looking people James had even seen (which is the opposite of Sirius, for when James met him he had the first impression they would have lots of fun together) and he wondered if that had something to do with them. His whole body stiffened on his bed – where he was laying on doing everything but sleeping – and he widened his eyes up to the dark ceiling.
They wouldn't beat him, would they?
His own parents wouldn't do it to him, that's for sure. James remembers being hit on the bottom a few times when he was very little and had crossed the line, but as he grew up taking away his broom or making him stay on his room was a good enough punishment. And so the thought of his best friend being physically punished made James feel sick, especially because Sirius would never deserve it – he liked to prank people, sure, but so did James and they would never do it with bad intentions (unless they deserved it, like those Slytherins who walked around calling muggle-borns mudbloods as if they were superior). Sirius wasn't a bad person.
He went over the very few conversations they had about the Black family during the year, and James recalled Sirius telling him that basically everyone from his family had gotten sorted into Slytherin, and that his parents wanted him to have the same fate. Could that have something to do with the mistreatment?
Well, if they were really mistreating him, James reminded himself. He couldn't jump to conclusions.
He decided to try and sleep, but didn't manage to do so for a long time. When he finally did, he dreamt of Sirius appearing on his doorstep with a bunch of new bruises.
The next time they saw each other was inside the Potter Manor, two weeks later. Sirius and Peter were supposed to arrive on the same day, but Peter was always late for everything so James wasn't surprised when the black-haired boy was the first one to step out of the fireplace and into the room.
James' parents greeted him warmly, and then their son impatiently pulled Sirius along to his room. With a flick of Euphemia's wand Sirius' trunk was lifted out of the floor and followed behind them lazily as they hurried up the stairs.
Sirius smiled brightly as he looked around the room, to the golden and red walls and the Gryffindor and the Quidditch teams banners. He was jostled when his trunk bumped against his back, urging him to step inside already.
"Mum suggested that you could sleep on guest rooms, but I convinced her to conjure some beds here," James informed him, sitting down on his bed. "It'll be a bit crowded, but it'll be fun."
Sirius nodded, still looking around. He approached James' desk and had a look through the Quidditch magazines he had spread there. "We would snuck out and come here at night, anyways. Then she'd come in the morning to find us all asleep in a pile on your bed, like that one time we fell asleep while playing Wizard's Chess on Remmy's bed."
James laughed in agreement, and Sirius turned around to grin at him. The sudden movement made his hair move away from his face like in the Ministry, and James realized with a pang of dread the bruise was still there.
"What happened to your face?" he blurted out before he could stop himself.
Sirius' smile was gone in a second, and his hand shot up to cover the exact spot the bruise covered, as if he had seen it in the mirror several times to be able to memorize it. "Oh, this?" he asked, his tone sounding forcefully casual. "My cousins were over three days ago, and they pushed me down when we were playing around. It didn't hurt that much, but it bruised like this…"
If James hadn't known the bruise was there for way longer than three days, he would have believed it. From past experiences back at Hogwarts he knew Sirius was a phenomenal actor, but he wasn't fooled this time. He didn't push it though – he didn't want to ruin the mood.
He could keep on investigating it later, he told himself.
James lent Sirius a broom, and they went outside to fly while they waited for Peter. As his best friend flew past him and ruffled his hair, pushing his head down playfully as he did so, James laughed with him, and mentally promised himself he would try to fix whatever was wrong with Sirius, no matter how long it would take.
However, for now he was worried about racing Sirius around the backyard; it was their first time flying together, and he didn't know Sirius was such a good flyer. Well, it didn't matter that much anyways. It only fueled his hopes they'd get in the Gryffindor team together in a few years.
The thought triggered the memory of Mrs. Black cold expression, and then Sirius' bruise. If James' assumptions were correct, would they be even madder if Sirius got into Gryffindor's team?
James shook his head, realizing he had gotten way behind his friend.
Peter was clueless, and there was nothing James could do about that. He was funny, had his (few) moments of bravery, and was a good friend in general, but the poor guy couldn't help but being completely clueless.
Remus, however, was a completely different story. He noticed Sirius' bruise right away, too. He didn't mention it, but James noticed he had noticed, and then proceeded to not say anything about it which was very wise. Peter would totally ask if he was observant enough, which thankfully he wasn't.
Remus was smart enough to ask James instead, which meant he noticed James noticed he noticed. He just hoped Sirius wasn't aware of any of this.
Sirius and Peter had fallen asleep on their assigned beds when Remus brought it up, looking up from their chess game with furrowed brows. "By the way," he began, almost in a whisper. "What happened with Sirius' face?"
James chanced a glance towards his friend. He was still snoring, oblivious to their conversation. "He said he was playing with his cousins and got pushed," he said. "But I know it's not true. I saw him at the Ministry almost two weeks ago, and the bruise was fresh back then."
Remus' frown deepened. "That's so odd. What do you think happened?"
"I reckon it has something to do with his parents," he admitted after a pause. "I thought I was being paranoid, because his parents apparently hate me or something – seriously, you had to see the way they stared at me – but the way he lied about it is suspicious."
"It surely is," Remus said thoughtfully. "Have you talked to him about it?"
"I pretended to believe him," James said. "But I'm going to ask."
"You should," Remus said approvingly. "I don't think he'd open up to the three of us at the same time."
James nodded. They played in silence for a while, and as Remus thought about what his next move could be, James stared at his friend's face.
"But, uh," he started awkwardly. "Are you okay, mate? You're not sick anymore, right?"
Remus didn't look up at him. "Oh, yeah, don't worry. I'm fine now," he replied.
Remus wasn't as good as Sirius when it came to acting, James thought to himself. Even so, Remus seemed to be aware of that as well, and as his gaze kept fixed on the chess board, James decided to change the topic.
James tried to convince his friends to spend the rest of the holidays with him, but Remus' and Peter's parents wanted them to come back home so they could be together before September 1st. Sirius said he could try and ask his parents (even though he looked quite nervous when he said so) and sent them a letter that evening.
Even if Sirius could stay, the four of them only have a week left before being separated until it was time to go back to Hogwarts. James knew they were being dramatic because they lived in the same dormitory for the rest of the year for Merlin's sake, but spending time together outside school was different. There were no rules (except his mother's, which weren't that strict anyways) and they could wake up and go to sleep whenever they wanted, not to mention all the flying they could do during the day.
"I hope your mother lets you stay," James commented over dinner, a handful of days before Peter and Remus had to go. "It'll be brilliant. We can go to Diagon Alley together. We might even be able to prank Snivellus outside school and see Evans."
"I agree with the Snivellus part," Sirius nodded, both of them ignoring James' parents' confused reactions to the nickname. "But I don't get your obsession with Evans."
Remus and Peter snickered. His father looked amused.
"Who's Evans?" his mother asked.
"This girl from our year group," Remus was quick to answer.
"James fancies her," added Peter.
"Shut up, I don't," James protested as they laughed. "She's just fun to annoy."
"Oh, well," his mother nodded, but she was still smiling. How annoying. "You shouldn't go around annoying girls, sweetheart. You'll regret it once you're older."
"I don't care," he said petulantly. "I'll never fancy Evans, anyways."
He ignored their amused looks, and kept on eating grumpily.
"Anyways, I think Mother will let me stay," Sirius told him. James was still annoyed, but deep down he was grateful that his friend was changing the topic on purpose. "We'll get an answer soon. I'm sure she's already received the letter."
"We'll be glad if you stay," Fleamont said warmly.
"Yes, it would be a pleasure," Euphemia agreed.
Sirius nodded and looked down, but James could see him trying to contain a wide smile and failing to do so.
The next day, they were flying around the backyard when James noticed he had forgotten his Quidditch keeper gloves in his room. He hurried upstairs, looking around for them in the mess his bedroom had become during the past two weeks, much like the Gryffindor dormitory at the end of the last school term. He found them on the floor next to Sirius' bed, but before he could run outside he noticed the crumpled piece of parchment lying next to it.
James had always been too curious for his own good, he had to admit.
It's was letter, that much was obvious, and James was sure it wasn't one of his. Reason why is that he didn't remember ever receiving a letter with green, shiny ink. As he smoothed out the paper, he noticed no one had ever sent him a letter this short, either.
Sirius,
You can stay. Attached to Darius you will find a small bag with more than enough to buy your books. We'll visit Diagon Alley with your brother, but if we don't meet, we will see you again on Christmas. Stay out of trouble until then.
Mother
James didn't know if he should feel happy about having his friend with him for another month, or worried about the wet, small and circular stains on the piece of parchment.
He pretended not to know when Sirius announced with a broad smile he could stay. Remus shared a look with him, as if he was relieved to know Sirius would be under the Potters' roof until it was time to go back to school. Merlin knows James was feeling the exact same way.
The last two weeks with his three friends had been nothing but fun, but James knew that once Remus and Peter were gone he had to ask Sirius about the bruise, and the lie he told to cover it up. He should face it, like a true Gryffindor, and be there for his friend. Knowing Sirius was suffering in silence was terrible, and James wanted to put an end to it.
The perfect opportunity came when James and Sirius were getting ready to sleep the day the others had gone back home. James rolled over on his bed and turned around to stare at Sirius' back, who was arranging his blankets and pillows and getting rid of the magazines and random colorful candy packings on top of them.
"Are your parents really okay if you staying?" he asked hesitantly. "You told me it took a while to convince your mother."
Sirius shrugged. "She wrote to me and said I could stay, so it's fine."
"I just– I don't want them to be mad at you, I know I was a bit persistent," he said.
"It's really fine, James," Sirius sighed as he settled on his bed. "They're just too strict sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
Sirius rolled his head to the side to look at him. It was dark, but James could see his friend's silver eyes studying him. "What do you mean?"
It was James' turn to sigh, and he sat down on his bed, back against the wall. "It's just– I know you didn't get that bruise because your cousins pushed you around," he admitted, and heard Sirius' quiet but sharp intake of breath. "I saw it that day in the Ministry and– well, I don't know why you lied about it. You can tell me, you know. I-I don't mean to pry or anything, but we're friends. I just don't want to make things harder for you without knowing."
There was a long pause. "You're not making things harder. It's the opposite, really," Sirius said quietly. "They're always mad at me. It doesn't always have to be a reason, so it's not your fault."
James nodded, and remained in silence for a few moments. "Does it have to do with the Gryffindor stuff?"
"Mostly, yeah," Sirius said. "I overhead my aunt telling Mother I'll become a 'blood traitor' for sure," he continued, sounding annoyed. "And that my brother would 'go down the same path' if they didn't do anything to stop it. You know, Regulus is coming to Hogwarts this year. They're probably afraid I'm going to be a bad influence or something."
"That's ridiculous," James mumbled.
"I know," Sirius sighed. "I just– It was stupid, but I thought they would only mind it at first. That they'd forget about it later. The Gryffindor stuff."
"Do you regret it?"
"No," his friend's response was immediate. "I'd be miserable in Slytherin. I mean, seriously? Having Snivellus as a roommate?"
James chuckled softly. "Yeah, that would probably be a nightmare," he said. "But– so that's why they were mad? Gryffindor?"
Sirius was silent again, and James waited patiently. "Yeah," he finally replied, so quietly that James had to lean forwards to hear him. "He doesn't do it often, you know, but... Father hit me when I said I'd prefer to be called a blood traitor than a Slytherin."
The truth didn't hit James as hard as he thought it would. He was already expecting it, and he guessed Sirius knew it.
"I'm sorry, mate," he said anyways.
"Don't be. I'm glad I said it. Reg was listening to the whole conversation. He used to hear me when we were little, so maybe what I said knocked some sense into his head," Sirius said. He sounded more confident as he continued, "There's nothing I can do to knock some into theirs, though. The only reason I still try is for Reg. But I think I've already lost him, too – he's been avoiding me."
"People can change," James offered. "Mum always says it to me. She says people can change, even at the last moment of their lives. I think you can still have faith in him."
"Maybe," Sirius muttered. "Either way, I'm better off here. Feels more like home than there."
"It is home, Sirius," James corrected him. "Mum and Dad already made it clear. This year, you'll come for Christmas too."
"We'll see how it goes," Sirius said, but James noticed the tint of hope in his voice. "I think they still want me to come back to try and knock some sense into my head, despite the whole Gryffindor thing. They said I can still change, that I'm too young. But, well, I don't think they can do it. Like Remus always says, my head's too thick."
James couldn't help but snicker. Sirius didn't hesitate before joining him, and soon they were giggling madly.
Someone knocked on the door. "Boys, go to sleep," they heard Euphemia's gentle voice. "It's already late."
"Yes, Mum," James replied dutifully.
They waited and heard her footsteps move away until they stopped, followed by the sound of a door being closed at the end of the corridor.
"I guess she's right," Sirius sighed, shifting under his blanket. "And, um– Thanks, mate."
"It's no problem," James told him bracingly. "I can always help to knock some sense into their heads, if you want."
"I don't ever want to spend Christmas near them again but, well. That'd be fantastic," Sirius said.
Even though it was pretty dark and that James was blind as a bat without glasses (which was the case) he didn't need a perfect view to know Sirius' smile was the brightest of their whole summer.
It was once again September, and consequently time to go back to Hogwarts. They arrived early enough on the Platform, and after Fleamont helped the boys move their trunks inside and into an empty compartment they came back down to say their final goodbyes.
Sirius stepped back as James' parents hugged their son goodbye, but was taken by surprise when they pulled him into tight and warm goodbye embraces as well, telling him just as sternly to be careful and give his best in class.
Sirius nodded with a stunned expression, and James tried his best to suppress a wide smile. Even so, when he looked sideways, he spotted something that made his lips stretch into a mischievous grin instead.
"Okay, bye Mum, bye Dad! We'll write!"
He closed his hand around Sirius arm and dragged his friend behind him across the Platform, stopping in front of two wizards wearing black from head to toe.
Sirius looked at him as if he was out of his mind, but quickly looked up at the two adults. "Mother, Father," he greeted them tensely.
"Mr. and Mrs. Black!" James smiled. "Me and Sirius were wondering if he could come and spend Christmas with us this year! It was so fun having him over!"
Both wizards looked taken back by the sudden question. They shot hard questioning gazes at Sirius, but said boy was busy staring at James as if he had indeed come to the conclusion his friend had gone mental.
"Well, Mr. Potter, you see–"
"We were thinking of inviting Regulus, too!" James continued, glancing at the younger boy standing next to his parents, looking extremely terrified at having his name mentioned. "He would blend rightin with us. All rooms have golden and red walls, you see–"
"James–"
"And maybe you can come too–"
"We'll have to refuse that, Mr. Potter," Mr. Black interrupted him coldly. "Even though I give Sirius the permission to go with you, Regulus won't. He will make friends of his own, I'm sure, and he should spend time with them."
They all knew what that meant. Regulus was expected to get sorted into Slytherin – soon he would be talking with the right people, and be safely away from any kind of Gryffindorish mentality.
James looked sideways to Sirius with an apologetic face, but his friends shrugged in response. He really didn't seem to mind.
James hoped he was thinking about what he told him that night. People can change.
"Well, thank you, Father, Mother," Sirius said, suddenly cheerful. He threw an arm around James' shoulders. "We'll be going, then."
They turned around with matching smiles, hurrying back to the train with the other children, pushing each other around along their way. The two boys caused even more chaos inside the train, racing each other to the compartment with their trunks only to find Remus and Peter already there.
They plopped down in front of each other, breathless but happy with the prospect of finally going home.
o