A/N: Continuation of "Fullmetal Fuhrer", which I'm sure you can find with some searching on my profile. It doesn't really matter though, both of these are really short and not intended to be serious at all. The only reason I'm posting them separately is that I made the deadly mistake of marking that as "complete" and a "oneshot". Well, guess that's being fixed right here. I'll leave this open if Fuhrer Elric decides to have any more weird adventures...
And honestly, the writing style is a bit weird. Just go with... that it's meant to be like that.
The Responsibilities of the Fuhrer
Being a Fuhrer is a wonderfully free, easygoing job. These are the duties on an average day:
– Wash the cat's bowl.
– Smile at least once a day for the press (not required).
– Assign some more paperwork to the Flame Alchemist (only natural, considering he blew up Central Headquarters).
– Don't overeat to the point of becoming sick.
– Wear thick boots in order to look taller.
– Declare a new, more fashionable military uniform.
– Declare Christmas to be every day.
– Throw anyone who objected to that last proposal into the lake.
And lastly...
– Don't die.
This last one, of course, is the most difficult of all, and this is the duty Fuhrer Elric was having trouble with on a certain average day sometime during some average week.
⁂ ⁂ ⁂
Ehm, anyway. Like I... Like the mysterious narrator said, our story begins on a certain average day sometimes during the week. Let's start, shall we?
...
"Edward Elric," the man snarled. Said Fuhrer was humming and rocking back and forth in the rocking chair next to the fire.
(Huh, just like a nice grandma. The only thing missing from this picture is the cookies and mittens and evil pointy sticks that somehow torture string into obeying and knotting and... Ehm... Anyway...)
The evil stranger snarled. Ed was sitting in his rocking chair.
"Hello," he said tiredly. Even though it was Christmas (just like every other day), he had already dumped a lot of people into the lake, and so didn't want to deal with this now.
Yet, unfortunately, he still had that last pesky duty to fulfill. "Don't die"? Ha. The world would never give him a break.
Anyway, the evil stranger snarled again. He seems to like doing that, apparently. But here, he actually begins his attack, since that's kinda what he's here for.
Well, he soon met the wonderful, joyful fate of being transmuted into a Christmas tree. After all, the Fuhrer was a pro at multitasking. Now, both Christmas and the not dying tasks were complete.
All he had to do now was wash the cat's bowl...