"G'day viewers and have we got a treat for you today. Were going on an adventure to meet one of the naughtiest and most beautiful critters around. Today the Crocodile Hunter takes on the Dark Beast,"
Dark Beast was usually fairly happy in his primary existence as a brilliant if amoral geneticist. Still he was facing a minor crisis at present because his Twinkie supply had run dry. He would have to go out and get some new ones immediately. It wasn't a matter of life or death because it was far more important than that.
Humming a tune to himself he pulled on a clean shirt and set out of the house. Little did he realize that an intrepid Australian was observing him intently from a nearby bush.
"Well here is our first glimpse of the gorgeous Dark Beast. This naughty critter has just left his lair on the hunt for food. Just look at all that luxuriant black and gray fur. Those sharp claws and fangs show that he's not a critter that you want to mess with," said Steve Irwin.
Dark Beast frowned when he heard the voice coming from a bush. He didn't appreciate being referred to as a naughty critter.
"He's heard us and he's looking around. Look at that body language and the way he shows his fangs. He's saying "Look out I'm dangerous". Oh he's coming over towards us," said the Crocodile Hunter eagerly.
"You are going to find out just how dangerous I really am you obnoxious moron," growled Dark Beast as he reached the bush. He was greatly startled when Steve Irwin burst out of the bushes at him. With a prodigious leap the Crocodile Hunter leapt on top of Dark Beast and began wrestling with the mutant. Getting his quarry in a stranglehold the Aussie maneuvered the angry Dark Beast around to face the camera.
"Just look at him would ya. He's a beautiful boy. Up close you can see those big yellow eyes. Look at how angry he seems. You're not too happy about this are you boy. You are just gorgeous," said Steve Irwin as he planted a kiss on Dark Beast's nose.
With a feral snarl Dark Beast broke free and swung wildly at the annoying Aussie. His punch sent Steve Irwin flying through the air to land in a bruised and dazed heap on the floor.
"Strewth he's certainly a strong one. He's coming this way," gasped Steve.
Dark Beast glared down at his tormenter and then a wicked grin spread across his hairy face. He pulled a syringe out of his pocket.
"Well Mr Irwin whatever am I going to do with you?," asked Dark Beast with mock sorrow.
"Well it seems that this naughty critter has me at his mercy. I sure hope he's going to play nice with me," gulped Steve Irwin.
"Say good night Crocodile Hunter," growled Dark Beast as he jabbed home with the syringe.
"Oh man I'm whacked," sighed Steve Irwin and then the blackness took him.
Steve Irwin awoke some hours later to find himself in some sort of laboratory. He was strapped to a table and various nasty looking implements were lying around him. A grinning Dark Beast approached wearing a neat lab coat.
"Well Steve I'm now going to perform a few simple experiments on you to see if you could possibly be as stupid as you seem. Don't worry though because you won't suffer long," said Dark Beast.
He gave a triumphant grin and set to work ignoring his victim's pitiful cries for mercy.