When I Was Your Man, an avengers fanfic

Dreams, that's where I have to go
To see your beautiful face anymore
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio

He hadn't counted the days that he had last spoke to her. It felt like months when it was most likely only weeks.

It had ended the same way it always did; an argument and one neither of them were willing to back down from. What didn't help was the alcohol that they had injected into their system.

No one was surprised that they had argued, they've been doing that more than usual lately.

Everytime they did, however, she would storm out and refuse to talk to him but would return exactly an hour and a half later and apologize to each other like they would never be able to see one and other again.

But this time was different from the rest.

Hope, hope there's a conversation
We both admit we had it good
But until then it's alienation, I know
That much is understood
And I realize

They argued. She screamed, he shouted. Objects were thrown, mainly by her.

Their neighbours had no form of reaction. They didn't call the police like they used to.

They had all grown use to the monthly - sometimes weekly - arguments that they held with each other.

And it was clear the they were as bad as each other.

People sometimes wondered why they were together but they loved each other and life was stressful for the both of them. But they refused to admit it, which led to the arguing.

He cheated, she lied, that's how it worked.

If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you, not over you

He denied it at first when it was clear that she had evidence.

He couldn't lie to her. Lying to her was the stupidest idea he's ever had and he knew it. But he stuck to his argument and she stuck to hers.

She could see right through his lies and he knew it. And she knew that he wasn't going to back down despite the fact that she had found a set of underwear in the bed she shared with him, and the moment she spotted them she knew they didn't belong to her.

Jarvis even confirmed it and he knew that he was in trouble.

He attempted to apologize but it was no use, she was already storming out of the apartment. Storming out of his life.

Damn, damn girl, you do it well
And I thought you were innocent
Took this heart and put it through hell
But still you're magnificent

He had begged her not to go but she didn't listen. She had packed a bag and left the apartment. Leaving him alone with both his thoughts and liquor.

Which was not the greatest of mixtures.

He knew that, but he didn't care. She wasn't there in the apartment with him.

He couldn't wake up to her when their alarm screamed at them each and every morning or wrap his around her when they drifted off to sleep together and breathe in her sweet scent that was a silent lullaby.

It was sweet and sensitive, the way her breathing was when he held her in his arms and would remain wide awake, only to watch her sleep soundly and peacefully.

His panic attacks were becoming more regular than normal. And she wasn't there to slouch down on the ground next to him, holding him close and whisper sweet nothings in his ear until he regained himself again.

She complained about the suits and how he spent too much time in the basement working on them. And he had to agree, he was spending far too much time down there lately.

He often wondered if she had thrown herself into the arms of another man. Which bruised his infamous ego slightly.

I, I'm a boomerang, doesn't matter how you throw me
I turn around and I'm back in the game
Even better than the old me
But I'm not even close without you

Bruce had tried to convince him to go after her and make an attempt to put things right again, but he refused. He had convinced himself that he was doing just fine.

Even the other Avengers noticed something different about him. His comments weren't as sharp or as witted and his smile was fading.

Steven attempted to cheer him up but nothing worked.

Each day one of them pressed on at him, begging not to give up just yet.

She was still out there, but he didn't know where.

She had managed to remove the tracker he had installed onto her phone in case of an emergency. Jarvis was unable to find her.

And he was losing his mind over her.

What if something happened to her? What if someone raped her or attempted to murder her?

No, he had to push those thoughts out of his mind and continue his work at S.H.I.E.L.D. as much as he could. But it wasn't easy.

It was never going to be easy.

So, in the depths of his depression and his desperation he crawled out of the lab that he shared with Bruce and went to the small café that they had first met in, begging that no one would spot him.

He was not in the mood to be caught by the paparazzi or some inquisitive reporter that only wanted a promotion and their only way of getting it was by creating a lie about him and twisting his words.

He crawled onto a chair at a table at the furthest away point in the café that was set for two. On lookers stared at him with both curiosity and disgust.

He ordered a coffee and some form of breakfast. He had not been sober for days and this was the first time he had gone anywhere that wasn't the lab or his apartment.

It was strange and his clothes smelt of alcohol.

He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry but he didn't. He kept everything locked inside and showed that he wasn't hurting. He covered his feelings with booze.

He kept his eyes locked onto the menu, keeping his brown eyes away from strangers that would refuse to stop staring at him.

"Tony.." The sweet and gentle voice pulled him through his thoughts.

He did not want to believe that she was there. Hope was useless and praying was, well he was an atheist. Who was he going to pray to?

He removed his eyes from the menu and he was right. Standing above him was the woman he had lost and had left a broken man.

Her eyes were red, from either lack of sleep or crying, or both. Her hair was in a tight ponytail and she was in her usual jeans and t shirt with her jacket concealing her arms.

"(Y/N).." He whispered in disbelief.

And if I had the chance to renew
You know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do
I could get back on the right track
But only if you'd be convinced
So until then...

She shared the same sympathetic expression passers by had glued to their expressions.

"Tony, what happened to you? You look terrible." She clasped her hands in front of her.

"You left, that's what happened." He bitterly spoke, removing his eyes from her (e/c) orbs and returning them to the menu uninterested.

"Tony.." She repeated his name in hopes it would change his mind. She slid in the seat in front of him, hoping that he would look at her once more.

"What do you want me to say? Youwalked out, you said that you didn't love me anymore-"

"But you're the one that slept with someone else, not me."

"And I'm sorry, how many times do I have to apologize?" His eyes were pleading her for forgiveness and she was pleading for the truth.

"So you admit it?"

He nods. "Yes."

She smiled faintly, relief consuming her body. "That's all I wanted."

"What? What do you mean 'that's all you wanted'?"

She leaned across the table and took his hands in hers. He was hesitant but returned the gesture, rubbing his thumb across her smooth and soft hands.

"All I wanted was you to tell me the truth instead of being persistent and constantly lying about it," Her smile remained on her lips as her eyes searched his features. "I guess we've been arguing so much lately we just haven't even thought about just talking about things, we always have to burst into an argument no matter how petty the situation is."

He chuckled slightly. It was the first time in the past few weeks since he had mustered up the strength to smile and laugh.

"That's true I suppose."

"But I love you Tony, you must realise that I do, and I expected you to cheat on me much sooner than this."

He was a little taken aback by the comment but didn't think anything of it.

"I am truly sorry that I cheated on you, believe me. If I could turn back time I would have done things differently."

She nodded her head in agreement.

"Please tell me you'll come back home. Please, (Y/N)." Tony begged, his grip on her delicate hands tightening a little.

Not too much that it hurt her, but enough to see that he truly meant the words that were spilling out of his mouth.

She contemplates for moment, allowing his breath to get trapped in the back of his throat.

"I will have get my belongings from my mum's house though." She replied after a slight moment of hesitation.

"Is that were you've been all this time? She doesn't even live too far from the apartment!"

She nods and giggles. "Yeah, it was the only place I could think of returning to. My dad was on the verge of storming over to the apartment with his shotgun, but my mum and I talked him out of it."

Tony sighed with relief. He wouldn't admit it, but her father terrified him. He would always make threats like that but luckily they were only threats.

He was all bark and no bite.

"Come here." He opened his arms to her. She removed herself from her chair and walked around to his side of the table.

He stood up and wrapped his warm arms around her body, pulling her close to him.

He didn't want to let her go, not ever. And he was determined to never lose her again the way he did. He regrets his actions ad wishes that this only made them stronger than they were before.

Not over you
Not over you
Not over you