Anakin and Ahsoka's shared quarters, Jedi Temple

Once in a rare while, Anakin Skywalker and his apprentice, Ahsoka Tano, were given more downtime than usual between missions. This particular morning, Anakin decided to catch up on his sleep… instead of visiting Padmé in secret. Ahsoka was catching up on her studies. Having had enough of reading for the past couple of hours, she made her way back to see if Anakin was awake. If anything, she'd want to spar with him, to improve her lightsaber combat techniques.

As she arrived at the door to their shared quarters, she noticed a blank cylindrical container, just sitting by their entrance. "Why would anyone leave a cylinder by our quarters ?" Picking it up, she quickly noticed the weight and decided to shake it, thinking there might be candy inside. "Nope, it ain't candy. Something to drink then ? Ooook…"

Bringing the container inside their shared quarters, she placed it on their table where they often shared meals together. "Hey, Skyguy ! Did you forget something by our door last night?"

"Huh ? Wh-what ?" He yawned loudly. "Sorry, Snips. Being busy catching up on much needed sleep. What did you find by our door ?"

She lifted the blank container, shaking it, creating a sloshing sound. "This here."

Shuffling of clothes was heard, and Anakin soon came out in his Jedi robes, his hair messed up. Looking at the mysterious container, he raised an eyebrow. "You found… this… just lying by our door ?"

She nodded. "Yup ! It's obviously something to drink. The question is what kind of drink lies in that container ?"

Anakin quickly took a chair, sitting comfortably. "Let's find out, shall we ?" He struggled at first to open the top of the container. "Hmph ! This thing's hard to come off !" A bit more struggling and the top gave way. "There we go !"

Ahsoka yanked the mystery bottle by the top. "Ohhh… Looks fancy !" She tried to read the name. "Lap… frog ? Huh ? How in the Galaxy do you pronounce this ? I can read the rest well enough. "Quarter Cask" it says. What does it mean, Master ?"

Anakin yanked it from her. "Give me that, Snips !" He took a closer look at the label description. "Oh ! I see ! It's a kind of whisky !"

"Like Corellian-made whisky ? How did anyone get this past the Temple Guards ?! Last I heard, alcohol isn't allowed in here… or am I wrong ?" The young Togruta cupped her chin, thinking. "I'm not sure what bothers me more… the fact that it got through security… or the fact that it was specifically delivered to us ! I know that you and Master Kenobi sometimes share a drink after a rough mission… but what are they expecting out of me ? I mean… I'm underaged."

Anakin quickly corrected her. "Actually, you did turn 17 a couple of weeks back, making you legally old enough to drink, per Coruscanti laws. Why don't we try it out together ?" He offered.

Her lekku suddenly darkened. "To the tell you the truth, Master. I've only drank a couple of sweet-ish drinks when Rex and the others of the 501st took me out to '79s when I turned 17. I'm not sure if I'm gonna like this."

Anakin shrugged his shoulders. "You and I may not like it, Snips. But there's no harm in trying it."

Ahsoka was still apprehensive. "And if we end up liking it and get drunk ? Would we get into major trouble should the Council find out ?"

"We might." Anakin smirked. Removing the wrapper around the cork was easy enough. Once the cork was pulled off with a satisfying "Pop !", the situation quickly changed.

Ahsoka sniffed the air. "Is it me or is there something burning in this room ?" "She quickly gazed around.

Anakin took the bottle closer to him. "Nope, nothing burning, Ahsoka. Believe it or not, the smell is coming from the whisky itself !"

"What ?!" She blurted out. "And you expect me to drink that ?"

Anakin reached for a couple of small glasses in their cupboard. "You've never been one to shy away from a challenge, Snips. Come on, all I'm asking is one sip !"

She quickly face-palmed. "Ugh ! Fine, Skyguy ! For you, I'll give it a try."

He patted her back encouragingly. "Atta girl ! Here we go ! Pouring…"

As they gazed at their glasses, they hesitated to take the plunge. "You go first, Skyguy !"

"Heh, let me show you how it's done, my young Padawan." Anakin decided to smell the aroma. "Whew ! This is smoky as heck ! It's like if I was standing by one of Mustafar's volcanoes, no joke !" He bravely took his first sip. "Arg ! What the Force ?! It's like if I licked an extinguished cigarette !"

Ahsoka's eyes widened in shock and horror. "Yeah… that really wants to make me try it !" She smelled it at first. "You say a volcano ? I'd say a campfire, at most ! At the same time, I dunno… It smells sweet… Maybe my sense of smell is messed up. Oh well, onto the sipping !" She chugged a fair bit down her throat. Once she swallowed, she made the funniest unhappy faces she made in a long time. "Ugh… ! Yuck ! Yuck ! YUCK ! H-how can people like this ?! You know what this makes me think of ? It's like if I licked a wet ashtray ! That is just gross !"

Before either could entertain a second venture, Obi-Wan entered their shared quarters. His sense of smell immediately brought him into alarm. "Anakin ! Did you burn your food again ?! Or have you been poking your lightsabers through the walls ?"

"We didn't burn anything, Master Kenobi." Ahsoka reassured. "Believe it or not, the smell comes from this drink here." She showed him the glass and bottle.

Obi-Wan quickly swiped the glass from Ahsoka's hand, angrily glaring at Anakin. "How many times must we go through this, Anakin ?! You know that any form of alcohol is off-limits in the Temple ! And… I don't even want to know how you convinced Ahsoka to join in ! It's not even Noon and you're both…" He looked up the bottle. "… drinking whisky ?! Oh… What am I going to do with the both of you ? I certainly hope neither of you attempt to fight the Separatist Droid Army after you've had a drink too many !"

Anakin quickly pacified his former Master. "You need to take a deep breath, Obi-Wan. Neither me or Ahsoka brought this inside. She found it just lying by our door when she came back from her morning studies."

Obi-Wan felt a migraine coming. "You mean to tell me that whoever brought this inside just passed through the Temple Guards at the entrance and just "conveniently" left it at your doorstep ?"

Anakin found no reason to lie, knowing for once he wasn't going to take the blame. "Pretty much. Makes sense, don't you think ?"

Obi-Wan groaned in reply, face-palming. "Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother asking ! All right… I'll accept your explanation. But… you will allow me to have a taste for myself, will you not ?"

Anakin looked forward to his reaction. "We don't mind… right, Snips ?"

"Help yourself, Master." She handed him a glass.

"Thank you." Obi-Wan looked at the name. "Hmm… Lap… No, wait… The "p" and the "h" make an "f"… "royg" ? Yes ! That sounds about right ! The correct pronunciation would be "La-froyg", I think ?" He poured himself a glass, then went back to the details of the bottle. "The most richly flavoured of all Scotch Whiskies" He raised an eyebrow, turning to Anakin. "I'm not sure what "Scotch" is supposed to mean, is it a region somewhere in the Outer-Rim Territories ? I wouldn't know. "Distilled on the remote island of Islay off the West coast of Scotland." Hmm… Intriguing."

"I never heard of this either, Master. By all means, tell us what you think…" Anakin encouraged.

"I've learned some of the finer details of enjoying Corellian whisky when I traveled a lot with Qui-Gon Jinn. Once in a while, we allowed ourselves a drink during missions… only to relax our shot nerves. We've never taken more than several sips per occasion." He explained. "If I remember correctly, we need to smell the aroma. Corellian whisky doesn't have much of one, maybe this will be different…" Quickly taking a whiff, Obi-Wan stroked his beard. "Interesting. It definitely smells of smoke… But there's more… Sea Salt… It also smells of Bacta patches they use for healing…" He went ahead and took a decent sip. "I must say, this is quite unusual. The smoke remains, but there is an underlying sweetness that follows. I also get a bit of ash in the finish as well. Very different from Corellia's style of whisky."

Ahsoka went for a second sniff of her glass. "I'll say that the smoke is overwhelming for me. But… if I take a few breaths and go back to it… Hey ! I am picking up both the Sea Salt and scent of Bacta patches now ! How do they get those smells in there ?"

"Probably some distilling technique we don't of… Remember, it's a vast Galaxy out there, if we can manage to find this "Scotland" System around, we travel a bit and we ought to find this island called Islay, where it's apparently made." Obi-Wan mused.

Anakin took his turn for a second sniff. "I think it sounds more like a region of a planet if you ask me, Master. I'm not picking up that Sea Salt note you're both talking about, but the Bacta patch smell is there." Anakin took another sip, swishing the liquid in his mouth. "Right now… I'm not a fan. Buuuut… I could see myself getting used to this with time. What do you think, Snips ?"

Once she swallowed her second sip, Ahsoka had decided on her thoughts. "Nope… there's something about it that really turns me off…" She looked onto the label. "48% ABV ?! For Force's Sake, that's enough to knock most people out after a few shots ! Now I know why I'm already feeling a bit lightheaded. And that wet ashtray taste just seems to linger on forever… Ugh !"

Obi-Wan casually took a second sip. "Hmm. I think I understand now… The more we taste, the more we discover nuances in the drink. To me, this would help out to unwind after a rough mission. Definitely an acquired taste, but a good one in my honest opinion."

As Ahsoka went to get rid of the taste by brushing her teeth several times in a row, Anakin and Obi-Wan shared another shot between themselves.

Dooku's Palace, Serenno

At his main room, Dooku was finishing business with General Grievous.

"You understand the importance of the mission, do you General ?" Dooku gazed at the cyborg.

Grievous kneeled before the Count. "Yes, my Lord. I will head out to drive out the Republic forces in the Aargonar system immediately." He stood back up, his cape blowing as a gust of wind swept through the nearby windows.

"Crush them !" Dooku pointed.

With a final nod, the cyborg general left off towards the exit of the palace and came upon Dooku's personal assassin, Asajj Ventress. "Going away to play with your droids again, General ?" She teased.

"Out of my way, Assassin !" Grievous rudely shoved her off his sights.

"Typical." She growled. Looking around near the entrance, she came upon a mysterious cylinder. "What's this… ? Has the Count received a gift from a secret admirer ?" She picked it up and opened the top, peering inside. "Ohhh… Something to drink by the looks of it ! I didn't know he had a taste for… whisky ?"

She entered his headquarters and made a beeline for a table with a couple of chairs. Dooku, whom had just finished a quick transmission with Darth Sidious, turned his attention to her. "What have you got there ?"

"Someone left this by your entrance, Master." She pulled the bottle out of the container. "You never told me you liked whisky… or have you ?"

Dooku raised an eyebrow. "What I do in my own free time is my own business ! I don't recall having done anyone "special favors" as of late… Most curious."

Ventress admired the label for a moment. "This looks classy, you know. Nothing like what we'd get in a seedy bar down in the Coruscant Underworld. So… what will you do with it ? Set it aside or open it now ?"

"A drink would help relieve the tension. As you know, my Master is pulling so many strings. His plan must not go unhinged. Open it." He went to retrieve a couple of small glasses.

"With pleasure." As Ventress tore away the wrapping and pulled the cork, she looked at him with uncertainty. "Ugh ! What is that foul smell ?! Could we have been sent a bad bottle ?"

Dooku crossed his arms over his chest. "It could be an assassination attempt by the Republic to poison me ! You will test it first !"

She poured herself a glass and sniffed it. "It's smoky… like a fire that burns by the sea. Do I have to ?"

"Do it !" Dooku angrily replied. "Or I'll torture you with Force Lightning !"

Ventress quickly chugged her drink in one shot. "Ugggh ! This tastes like the leftovers of burnt wood pieces laying by the beach… plus I get a horrible medicinal taste… like a Bacta patch ! How can anyone in their right minds enjoy this ?!"

Dooku inspected the label more closely. "Have you noticed the strength ? At 48% ABV, it is quite potent. It could potentially kill a person should they attempt to drink the entire bottle in one sitting." He cautiously poured himself a small shot. "Hmm… There is smoke, yes. But it has a salty tang to it… And the smell of Bacta is quite present indeed." He took a sip. "Interesting. The smoke persuades for a moment, but give in to a form of sweetness. Not something I would drink on many occasion." He finished the last of his shot. "Remember that you're heading out to face the Republic in Sullust space tomorrow. Do not get yourself drunk with this." He warned.

As Dooku went to retire in his private chambers, Ventress poured herself a slightly bigger shot. "Maybe if I sip slowly instead… perhaps I could enjoy this. I need a good drink anyways to numb all the pain that I've been through so far." Over the course of the evening and through the night, she had managed to drink ¾ of the bottle before passing out in her drunkenness.

Over the following morning, Dooku was definitely enraged to find Ventress asleep on the floor, the open bottle still sitting on the table. He kicked her by the side. "Get up, you worthless… GET UP !"

Ventress opened her eyes slowly, gazing at her Master. "Ooohhh… I don't feel so good…"

"You will feel even worse when I'll be through with you ! I had WARNED you not to let yourself be intoxicated !" He blasted her with Force Lightning.

After a fair bit of screaming from Ventress, he finally stopped his abuse. "I don't care if you're still hungover, you will lead your forces to Sullust this instant ! Now go !"

As Ventress drunkenly made her way to her ship, her thoughts hadn't changed. "It became better with every sip ! Almost makes it worth being electrocuted afterwards… Almost."

Ohnaka Gang Headquarters, Florrum

Hondo and his Gang had returned from a successful hijacking of a supply ship around Vanqor. Most were already celebrating by opening bottles of rum, just chugging away like fools. Hondo, his second-in-command, Gwarm, and a Weequay by the name of Jiro, took their sweet time to enter their headquarters.

"Nice catch, boss !" Jiro complimented. "We ought to celebrate in style, don't ya think ?"

"Yes, yes, of course !" Hondo agreed. "I think I might have something of great worth… somewhere in my private cellar. We'll celebrate by opening one of those, yes ?"

Gwarm was looking forward to trying out Hondo's "special bottle". That usually meant something that would be worth loads of credits… or spice. "Just the 3 of us, huh ?" He suddenly knocked over a cylinder on the rocky floor. "Huh ? Where'd this come from ?" He opened it up, pulling the bottle out. "Oooohhhh…. Lookie, lookie, boss ! A whisky… and not a cheap one by the looks of it ! Someone must have dropped it when they flew above our base."

"Give me that !" Hondo yanked it out and glossed it over. "Hmm… How could we say this… La… Lap… rock ? Oh, who cares what's it called, huh ?" He pointed at the alcohol strength. "Well, well, well. 48% ?! Ohhh… something to really wreck us good, yes ? Come, come. We'll drink on the middle table." They entered the bar area and quickly took seats.

"Want me to open her up ?" Gwarm offered.

"You can open…" Hondo began. "… but I take the first shot !"

As soon as Gwarm popped off the cork, he coughed up a storm. "Argh ! This smells like burning wood ! And antiseptic, har har !"

"Let me smell." Hondo took a huge sniff. "Ohhh… *Cough Cough* Ohhh… This is a smokin' whisky ! Ha ha ! I like this smell !" He poured himself a shot and immediately chugged it in one go. "Ohhh… Ho ho ho ! Yes… It's like… It's like kissing someone that just smoked a cigarette ! A salty cigarette ! That's it, boys ! This, is what we're drinking this night ! Gwarm ! Jiro ! Take a shot, yes ?"

Gwarm poured himself a small shot. Already knowing the smell, he went ahead and chugged his drink. "It's like smoke… but in liquid form ! Not bad ! Not bad at all !"

Jiro took his turn. "Hmm… Yeah… y'know… it's like a bonfire by the sea ! That's what I'm gettin' out of it ! And that medicinal kick is quickly becoming my favorite part of it ! Yeah, I'll be havin' me another pour !"

In the record time of 30 minutes, Hondo and his two henchmen downed the bottle, causing all 3 to crash onto the floor, asleep. All three were beyond drunk, but without a doubt, very satisfied by the quality of their mystery whisky.

I couldn't help but make a oneshot for May 4th by mixing my love for Clone Wars and my newfound passion for Scotch Whisky. This story is inspired by the various taster responses you find in the "Opinions Welcome" series of videos by the Laphroaig Whisky Youtube Channel, which they use the classic 10 Year Old expression. A lot of the responses are actually quite amusing. It's easily one of the most divisible whiskies available. You either like it or don't. There's absolutely no middle ground here !

Laphroaig (pronounced La-froyg) is one of the extremes in the world of whisky. It's heavily smoked and heavily peated. That means that they use peat (decaying moss taken from bogs) which is dried over a fire and that serves to impart smokiness and flavour to the grains which are used to make whisky. The reason which Laphroaig has a medicinal taste is that the peat is naturally imbued with seawater that has plenty of remains of seaweed, which is a source of iodine.

Definitely an acquired taste, but once you "get it", there's no turning back. My personal experience is currently limited to the Quarter Cask release, which is a fill of ex-bourbon casks and is then transferred to a quarter-sized cask, which allows for faster maturation. The end result is a fair bit of smoke, that definite medicinal edge and a salty tanginess in there as well. One of my favorites. From what I've been told and have read through various reviews online, the 10 Year Old is even smokier and more aggressive than the Quarter Cask. I'll see it when I taste it.

Hopefully some of you will get a chuckle or two out of this. And I can only hope that John Campbell with his team at Laphroaig and Dave Filoni with his team at Lucasfilm will be able to appreciate the humor through this unusual "love letter". May the 4th be with you all ! Feel free to leave a review.