A/N: This is the result of not being able to sleep at 1 in the morning and plot bunnies running around in your head. This story is going to be like Perfect in the way that it's never going to be finished. This is going to be random characters just talking about.... issues, I guess. Anyways, I hope you like it! (btw, this is un-beta-ed, so you're prolly gonna be able to tell XD) Oh, and it's really short (as you can probably tell) Hey, 1 AM, people!

Contemplate: Empty Arms

I can never go to sleep unless I'm holding something, be it a teddy bear, a person, or just a wad of blanket I've shaped: there has to be something in my arms. I've tried sleeping on my back, arms locked at my side. It never works. I just continue tossing and turning, listening to the CD I chose to listen to that night, and sigh, with my arms feeling so empty.

I wonder if this is something that everyone feels, or if it's just me, waiting for the perfect someone to be in my arms, holding and being held. I wonder if that special someone will ever come along, if I'll ever have someone who just fits in my arms, in my life, in my heart.

Sure, I've had dates, boyfriends, an occasional fling, but they were never right. I could have sworn I was even in love once, nearly got married to him as it were, but there was just something. Some thing that never made me entirely comfortable in my skin when we kissed, when we hugged, heck, even when we were just holding hands.

When I'd lie awake in my bed, waiting for sleep to steal me away, I'd be able to convince myself that this was it: the love of the ages, the perfect match. It was always at night time that I was always deluding myself, trying to fit myself into everyone else's ideas of me. After all, what more perfect match could there be than Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley? I'd be able to convince myself that I wanted to wait because I wanted our wedding night to be special, not because I felt uncomfortable at the idea of body contact. I convinced myself that my aversion to touch was normal, that I was just overwhelmed by love. It wasn't until I was set to walk down that aisle that I realised that I didn't want to live with myself if I didn't let me, well, be me. I knew my nervousness wasn't just cold feet. I knew that he just didn't fit with my life, he didn't fit with me.

So I just left, because I knew that he just wasn't the one, and that I had to keep searching until I found the one I'd never be nervous around, never hesitate, worried, shaking at the thought of simple human contact.

I need to keep looking, until I find the one who belongs in my arms. Ironic that I scoff at Divination and other ridiculous guesswork, yet here I am, telling, well, anyone who reads this, that I'm searching for my soul mate, for the one I'm waiting for, for the one I'm fated for. I know that I may never meet him, and that I may give up hope and settle before I've ever had my chance with him, and maybe he doesn't even exist, and my search is for something impossible.

But then I'm lying in my bed, trying to sleep, and finding it impossible unless I have something in my arms, and I just know that I'll search forever until I find him, and the ache in my arms, the ache in my heart finally leaves me (and him) in peace.

I'll be waiting.