Author's Note:
This is a companion/sequel to my one-shot He Had Never Needed the Phone (which you can find on my profile). You don't need to have read that story to enjoy this one, although I think you will have a more comprehensive reading experience if you do.
For all that the phone call was progress, Steve knew that it wasn't a complete fix. Things were still broken between him and Tony, and looking back now he wasn't sure if they had ever been not broken to begin with.
Their first meeting on that hellicarrier had been hostile and the charged exchanges that followed hadn't been much better. At the time, Steve hadn't understood how a man he'd never met could dislike him so much.
It wasn't until later that it had dawned on him how hard it had to be for Tony to see a constant reminder of his dead father. And Steve wasn't just a reminder that the elder Stark was no longer alive. No, as Captain America, he was the physical embodiment of all the pressure and expectations the Howard Stark legacy created for Tony as Howard's son.
It had come as a surprise to everyone that the two men worked so well together in combat. Steve didn't question it, though. While he preferred to get along with his teammates, he hadn't joined the war to make friends and as long as Iron Man and Captain America were saving lives, that was all that mattered.
Then Sokovia happened and with it the creation of the accords. Steve hadn't even realized that he considered Tony a friend until he felt the sting of betrayal when Tony revealed his support for the government mandate that went against everything Steve believed in.
To him, the situation had been black and white. While the two sides did have similar goals, they also had entirely different ideas of how to achieve them that were impossible to be reconciled.
He saw now how blinded he had been by his fear for Bucky, because "impossible"? That wasn't a word he had ever let himself use. Steve had long ago come to the conclusion that anything was possible. His transformation was enough to convince him of that. He had just forgotten it when it actually counted.
They could have made it work.
It would have been ugly. Really ugly. But in the end they would have still been one team and stronger for it. Instead the Avengers had splintered to opposing sides. They were halves of a previously unstoppable whole and in their weakened states, neither was strong enough to beat Thanos.
Despite everything that had happened, not once had Steve blamed Bucky. Because it was Hydra and their brainwashing, not Bucky that had murdered all those people. The government officials behind the accords didn't care about who was really responsible though, just whose hand dealt the blows.
Tony had understood, and while Steve would never be a supporter of the accords, he knew that Tony would have done everything in his power to prevent them from destroying what was left of James Buchanan Barnes.
Except, not if Tony had known the whole story. To Steve, the implication of those newspaper clippings and photos he'd seen in that New Jersey bunker had been clear. Under Hydra's brainwashing, the Winter Soldier had murdered Howard and Maria Stark.
Steve didn't think Tony's understanding could ever be expected to stretch that far.
So he had made the choice to keep his discovery about the Starks' death a secret, believing that telling Tony would only result in disaster. Steve had been convinced that to save one friend he'd had to betray another. That it would be impossible for him to protect Bucky and do right by Tony at the same time. Impossible...
Then Tony had flown to Siberia to give his support to Steve and Bucky's mission, even though they had all physically fought each other on that air strip and had been verbally fighying ever since Sokovia.
And that's when it had truly hit Steve that he didn't know Tony Stark as well as he'd thought.
They could have made it work.
Steve had just watched his friends and teammates evaporate into thin air when the call came. He's not even sure why he'd answered it.
Most of his team was either in front of him or dead.
No, not dead, he told himself. Just gone. He didn't know which was better.
So while there had been no reason to answer the call, he'd thankfully done so anyway. Hearing Tony's voice on the other end... he hadn't felt relief like that since he'd seen Bucky after thinking him dead for decades.
Steve had never for a second regretted giving the phone to Tony. Even when there had been nothing but radio silence, it had made him feel better knowing that Tony had back-up if things got desperate.
He was never more convinced that he'd made the right decision than in that moment. There was something so achingly familiar and comforting about Tony's voice as he rattled off incomprehensible data readings regarding Titan.
Data and facts and science jargon. Things that had always annoyed Steve because he'd thought Tony only said them to make everyone else feel stupid. It only struck Steve now that this was how Tony coped. While the words made zero sense to Steve, to the inventor all the numbers were probably soothing.
Already Steve was starting to crave his own coping mechanism - drawing. He flexed his fingers as he paced, wanting nothing more than to go some place quiet with a pad of paper and pencil and sketch away the pain that was threatening to eat him alive.
It was only after Tony began to repeat himself and started talking in circles that Steve realized the man was avoiding something. He thought back to all that had been said during their conversation and then to all that had not been said. "Who disappeared on you?"
The silence following Steve's question was so long that he was sure the line was dead.
Eventually Tony replied, telling him about the group calling themselves the "Guardians of the Galaxy" and about a wizard from New York City who had given away an infinity stone to save Tony's life. After mentioning that last part, Tony paused, as if expecting Steve to blame him for Thanos taking over. No doubt Tony was blaming himself.
"It would have happened one way or another," Steve said, having seen Thanos literally turn back time to get a stone. At least Tony was alive, unlike Vision. Speaking of unmentioned names, Steve had picked up on the absence of one particular person on the list of disappearances. "Tony?"
"Yeah, Cap?" His voice told Steve that he knew exactly where this conversation was headed and was dreading it.
Steve knew he had to ask anyway. "What about Peter?"
Tony sighed. "He should have stayed on the school bus."
That was all that was said on the subject and Steve didn't push it. He knew that Peter had meant a lot to Tony, and just like Tony had respected him in regards to Bucky, he was going to give Tony time to grieve in his own way.
"Look Steve, I should probably go."
The thought of Tony hanging up made Steve panic, not sure that once the connection was broken if they would be able to connect again. "Wouldn't it be better to just stay on the line?"
In response, Tony mumbled some nonsense about not having to worry because the universe owed him or something. "Besides, I need to patch up my suit a little more and that will require taking it off."
Tony sounded bone-tired, exhausted in a way that Steve hadn't heard since after the battle of New York during which Tony had literally fallen from the sky.
Except there was to be no shawarma at the end of this battle. No movie marathons where the Avengers rested their injuries and Iron Man tried to teach Captain America about popular culture.
The memories made Steve smile. Then just as quickly the smile turned into a frown as he thought about Tony's assured "I'm fine" at the beginning of their phone call. He may not understand everything there is to know about Tony Stark, but he did know that when it came to the topic of personal injuries, the man could not be trusted to be honest.
"Tony, are you hurt?" All at once, everyone who had been standing around and pretending not to listen in snapped their heads to look at Steve, pretenses forgotten. Rhodey and Bruce looked especially worried, and the sight of them standing there in their metal suits created by Tony was so horribly sad that Steve had to look away.
"Not fatally," Tony replied and Steve relaxed, waving off his teammates. "At least I don't think so," Tony added quietly, and Steve didn't think he had meant to say that part out loud because he quickly added a joke in the next breath. "I hope Nebula is good with her hands."
The attempted diversion may have worked with Stark investors, but Steve wasn't convinced. He turned his back on the others and took a few steps closer to the trees. He wasn't sure if he could keep the worry from his expression as they had this conversation. "Do you have food and water?"
Tony snorted. "Definitely not. This place is barren." From what Steve had understood from Tony's description, the planet was an uninhabited wasteland of crumbled buildings and ancient remains. They really needed to get him out of there.
"Just do what you can to conserve energy and heat."
Tony was probably trying to be reassuring when he said, "Don't worry. I went without food for days when I was dying in that cave in Afghanistan," but it had the exact opposite effect on Steve, whose mind immediately jumped to another cave and another time that Tony Stark had been close to death.
Steve wondered if Tony thought often of their fight in Siberia. If he too had nightmares about slamming shields and punches and-
"Look Rogers," Tony said, interrupting Steve's thoughts. From the sudden terse sound of Tony's voice, his mind had gone to the same place as Steve's. "I've gotta go. I really do need to get out of this suit for a bit."
It didn't escape Steve's notice that Tony had returned to calling him by his last name. At some point they would need to talk about everything that had happened. Right now they just needed to focus on getting Tony home. "What can we do in the meantime?"
"There's a ship here on Titan, but the way Nebula has been yelling at it for the past few minutes, I think it may have been damaged in our fight with Thanos. If Shuri is there, have Bruce and her see about procuring something that can go into space." Steve turned around and was motioning Bruce over when Tony went on. "That is, if you all don't mind launching a rescue mission... if there's a lot on Earth to deal with I would understand..." His tone was calculatingly nonchalant.
Steve honestly couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Stark, shut up," he snapped, the words already out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
There was an ubrupt silence after that, both from Tony and from the team. Then Rhodey crossed his arms and narrowed his gaze at Steve as if to say "you better have a good reason for doing that."
Wearily, Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and stared down at the ground. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course we're coming to get you."
"Oh." Tony sounded genuinely surprised.
Chancing a glance up, Steve saw Rhodey look up to the sky and shake his head. "Stark, you are unbelievable!"
Steve wouldn't be surprised if Tony had heard the colonel, because there were a few seconds of throat clearing and when he spoke again, his voice was rougher than before. "Well I'll try to see about coordinates or whatever it is they use in this part of the universe. Maybe the raccoon can help you out with that."
Steve nodded, basic outlines of a plan coming together in his mind. "Give me a call when you're able."
"Actually, it will be best to talk to Bruce about this."
It went unsaid that Steve wouldn't understand a single thing about spaceships and intergalactic travel. He nodded in understanding before realizing Tony wouldn't be able to see him. "I can patch him in when you call back."
"No need," Tony was quick to say, and Steve wondered if it really had been that awful to talk to him. Maybe it would have been better if Steve had passed on the call to someone else from the start. "Does he still have the flip phone?"
Steve covered the mic. "Bruce, do you still have the phone?" Bruce nodded. "He does."
Tony made a satisfied hum. "Good. I'll call him directly then."
Steve frowned in confusion. "How do you know the number? Bruce said..." He faltered, instantly regretting the path he had started down and knowing he had to continue anyway. "I mean, uh... he kind of mentioned that you had never turned the phone on before Thanos came."
There was no response and Steve wished they were having this conversation face-to-face instead of millions of miles away so he could see Tony's expression during these silences. If they were face-to-face, though, Steve realized they might not have been having a conversation at all.
When Tony still didn't say anything, Steve tapped the earpiece, checking for a lost connection, but everything seemed to be working. "Tony?"
"I may have not been entirely honest about that," Tony admitted slowly as if the words cost him something, and Steve wondered if he would ever stop being surprised by Tony Stark.
They could have made it work.
"Tony, I..."
Steve was cut off before he could say anything further. "Tell Bruce to turn the ringer up on that thing and I'll talk to him soon."
A moment later there was a loud click and then all Steve heard was static.
Author's Note:
1. I said this in the comments section (on Ao3) of my last story, but I found it so much harder to write Steve than Tony. Maybe it's because I just relate to Tony more, but Steve's perspective was definitely a struggle. I think Steve especially blames himself for a lot, regardless of whether it really was his fault. Tony and Steve are at entirely different places both physically and mentally right now, so I hope both characterizations ring true.
2. Also, with the Avengers universe being so large, the timeline of events can get convoluted (at least to me), so hopefully I got the references in the right order. All of my stories are un'beta'd so if you see something wrong gramatically or canon-wise, feel free to let me know. (Edited to add: Thank you to a guest commenter who pointed out some inconsistencies regarding timeline and characterization. I think I've adjusted appropriately!)
3. This story originally was much longer but I cut out the unnecessary fluff. I am already thinking of future one-shots set in this same collection to use up the Tony & Steve dialogue that I hated to part with.
4. I don't know why I used the format of a common, repeating sentence again. It just felt right...?
Thank you to everyone who read, favorited, and commented on my previous one-shot. I really appreciate it! Let me know what you think as always!