Title: Happy Holy Moo Cow Day
Authors: Ostrich and Pengwinn
Authors' Notes: I don't know I've never wrote one before don't look at me! -Ostrich Whatever then. -Pengwinn

Draco was digging through piles of books from the restricted section of the library…how he got them is besides the point. He was looking for a charm to put onto Crabbe and Goyle, his monkey-esque body guards.

They were very stupid, in more ways than one. He still couldn't figure out how they'd made it to fifth year without having to stay back at least once…although he did remember Goyle talking about a summer class…anyway, he was looking for a charm to make them smarter, more evil in a way.

There was this one spell, the Infarminic Incantation. It made them more cunning. Hmm, that would work. It wore off after a while, but he only needed it for them to meet his parents. The description read….

The Infarminic Incantation:

Mutter when around person(s) that you desire to be incantaited. (note-is incantaited a word?) Incantaion will derive from person(s)'s soul of which level of cunning and malevolence should be extracted. Incantation:

When I mutter these words here, 'ere after you shall make others quiver in fear.

Read Incantation while person is asleep, dozing, or other forms of the dream state. If performing in large groups of people... Do NOT perform in large groups of people. Do not perform when making a potion including the three year old gizzard of a blue bellied booby. Do not perform when the moon is waxing. Do not perform when it is the third Monday of the fourth month of the 2003rd year. Do not perform when you have a cold. Do not perform when receiver (s) has (have) a cold. If all warnings ignored, effects will be prolonged. Incantation lasts three days. Can not be performed on the same person (s) twice.

Draco ripped the page out, put the books back, and walked out of the library. Madame Pince, the librarian, was giving him a dirty look. She suspected that he'd forged Professor McGonagall's signature. In fact, he had. But that was besides the point.

Goyle and Crabbe noticed him coming out of the library. They had Neville by his cloak, and the stupid prat was turning blue. "Release." Draco ordered. The two dropped him, and he scurried away in the direction of the Gryffindor tower, looking warily behind him. Goyle took a pastry out of his pocket, one he'd grabbed at lunch.

"I'm hungry." Goyle grunted, munching into the pastry.

"Then eat what you have in your hand you fat tub. I swear, you're such idiots. Don't you think about anything besides food?"

"What about food?" Crabbe said, looking up. "Oh right, I have some bread in my pocket. Hold on." Out of his pocket he derived a mouldy biscuit, probably three weeks old. It was turning green on the edges. Draco winced as the monkey shoved it into his mouth.

"It's nearly time for supper, can't you wait?"

"Why were you in that place with all the books?" Crabbe asked, bits of mouldy biscuit splattering on Draco's new satin robes.

"Because, I'm smart. You're not. I like reading." He snapped, fishing inside his pocket to make sure the incantation was still there. "Honestly, it's not a place with books. It's called a library."

"Fine, use your fancy smancy words. I like place with books better." Goyle decided.

"Uhn." Crabbe grunted.

"You two morons." Draco slapped his forehead. "Why do I need you again? Oh right, you're a lot bigger than me and can protect me. I forgot."

Crabbe and Goyle didn't notice this though, as they walked off towards the Great Hall, wanting to be the first one's at supper. Draco dragged behind them, trying to think of the perfect time when he could say the incantation.

)( Er...yeah. This is a cute fanficcie I wrote a long time ago with my friend Ostrich. It's probably crap now, but I think it's funny because it's got some nostalgic-ness with me. So there it is. Review, if you want more...it is finished, I'm just testing it out on y'all....XD)(