Title: Three Halloweens When Caroline Kissed Tyler And One Where She Didn't
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Caroline/Tyler, mentions of pre-show Elena/Matt
Summary: Halloween really seems to be Caroline/Tyler season so I thought I'd make a small fic. I hope you enjoy.

"I'm not scared of anything," Caroline declared proudly.

"Nothing?" Tyler asked sceptically, walking in circles around the other five year-old. He acted like an officer analysing his subordinates.

"Nothing." Caroline confirmed.

"Good. You may be my friend this Halloween, for I am not afraid of anything either." Tyler's eyes gleamed wickedly.

Caroline smirked. "Really?" She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, causing Tyler to run away and tell a teacher that she was being men. It made Caroline feel kind of proud.

The shrill laugh of Elena filled the silent woods where they were currently hanging out, the four of them. The Fantastic Four. Elena was placed in Matt's lap, leaning against him and Caroline sat next to Tyler, trying her best not to vomit. And it wasn't because of the alcohol. It wasn't that she necessarily liked Matt either. She knew he was off limits, Elena's and all that. She would never want a man who was some other girl's leftovers and especially not Elena's leftovers. She just kind of despised Elena for being so... perfect. She had everything; the life, the family, the boyfriend... All she had was a mother who hated her, a dad who was absent and no boyfriend to speak of.

As if the universe was trying to prove a point, her eyes suddenly met Tyler's and he winked in that disgusting little way of his and offered her his whiskey bottle. Usually they would all just steal little bits of their parents' alcohol cabinets - a decilitre here and there - but seeing as it was Halloween, they'd all decided to go all out. It was a celebration after all.

"What?" Caroline snapped. She knew exactly what he was doing. Nothing about Tyler was exactly a secret.

Tyler snorted. "Chill, Forbes. Just trying to be accommodating."

Elena and Matt were too busy to hear either of them.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's all that you were doing." She didn't have time for his games today. "I heard about you and what's-her-face? Doing the school nurse won't exactly get you any cool points, Tyler. It just makes you a sleaze."

Even though she could read Tyler like an open book, it still seemed like he had the power to surprise her. Genuine surprise and a little bit of hurt mixed together and formed an expression that made her feel a little bit bad. Only a little.

"What's your problem, Caroline?"

Fine. A bit more than just a bit bad. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Tyler. Just an awful day."

She buried her face in her hands and thought back to the argument she'd overheard between her parents just before she'd sneaked out. At first it had seemed as though it was going to be a family celebration this Halloween, but the argument had rendered any hope of that impossible. Not that she wanted to spend time with her mother. Not really. The woman was wound tighter than a horse's arse. Ok, that was mean. But only a little. Because it was also a bit true. Her dad was great but seemed to lack the general requirement of parenthood that was called being there. She supposed that was one of the few things she and Tyler had in common.

"Yeah. Fine. Whatever. But don't take it out on me," He cast her a warning glance and Caroline nominated herself for the crappiest friend of the year. Finding that she couldn't quite look him in the eye, her eyes rested on Elena and Matt but their adorableness was too sickening to witness. At least today. Why was Halloween always such a bunch of crap?

"I'm sorry," she whispered under her breath, not sure if it was out of shame or embarrassment. She hated fights, especially when it felt like she was responsible.

Tyler snorted, snapping the whiskey to his lips and poured down a large chunk into his system. He acted as though he didn't care but she knew better.

"Hey guys," Tyler called Elena and Matt who finally snapped out of their happy daze, "I'm gonna go. Enjoy the party."

Elena and Matt were probably not noticing the sarcasm but Caroline did and it hurt. Just before he left, Tyler looked at her and Caroline hoped that this wouldn't be a new game that they were starting. They always tried to trivialise things by making it a competition. Who could down the most shots without throwing up, who could pick the most berries at the end of the day and things like that. Caroline wasn't sure from when it'd started but most probably it was just one of their things. The leftover children, the forgotten scraps, failed mirrors of their parents... They were left to fend for themselves since no one else gave them the time a day. Caroline supposed that their games made them feel less alone.

Usually, she'd just tell Tyler to fuck himself, ignore him for a few days and when the time came for them to inevitably be in the same company again, she'd pretend that nothing had ever happened and that everything was fine. Usually that fixed things. Today however was one of those days when she couldn't be the crap daughter and the crap friend all in the same day. Elena was too busy to talk to and Matt... please, why would she talk to Matt about anything? He talked to her because she was friends with Elena, not because they had anything in common. There was also Bonnie, but Caroline had a strong suspicion that she preferred Elena as well to her. Everyone always did. Not to mention that she was visiting family God knew where. There was only Tyler who seemed to be immune to the Gilbert charm and in a strange sort of way, he was her best friend. In a way her only friend because Caroline knew she could trust him with her life. With Elena and Bonnie, she wanted to trust them with her life but that wasn't the same as knowing they'd try and treasure it.

She sighed again. Yeah, sometimes she thought she needed a full-time shrink to sort her out. Like a little chip in her brain that would get all of these crazy thoughts out of her head. Caroline wasn't stupid, she knew that she was probably overanalysing and overrationalising the behaviour of her friends based on some sort of hidden premise of her own subordination to them. Even though she believed it to be true, it didn't mean it was like that at all. It hurt her friends a lot, Caroline could imagine, but above all it hurt herself.

She needed to talk to Tyler tonight otherwise it felt like her head was going to explode and she was going to sit here all night channelling Dr Phil to herself while trying to ignore the awkward role of the third wheel. Seeing that Matt and Elena were busy and not feeling like one to intrude, Caroline left without a word and walked all the way to the Lockwood estate. Tyler had been her ride but it didn't really matter. It was a bit to walk but she had lived in Mystic Falls all her life. She could walk anywhere with her eyes folded. It was only later that she realised the small kink in her masterplan, which was that she was wearing heels but at that point it was too far to go back. Besides, she didn't want to grovel anyone for a ride. No, walking barefoot was the way to go. It took a bit longer but it wasn't too bad.

It took her about an hour and a half to reach Tyler's and that put the time at around eleven. Looking at the time, Caroline cursed under her breath. There was no way she could knock as she would wake the entire house up and besides, she didn't want Mrs Lockwood to get the wrong idea. Not wanting to stand around like a helpless loser, Caroline climbed up a tree close enough to Tyler's window, putting a few small stones in her pockets. Sitting in the tree, she threw the rocks against the window until Tyler opened. Upon seeing her, his eyes widened as though he was seeing ponies flying around in the sky.

"What the hell?"

"I wanted to talk to you," Caroline said casually, overplaying a little as she felt stupid, "Are you going to invite me in? Or do you already have someone in there?" He didn't seem to appreciate her failed attempt at humour.

"Fine," he didn't seem very happy about it, "You could've called you know."

Oh. Yeah, she could've. Ignoring that, Caroline climbed through Tyler's window, struggling a little but she thought it a good sign that he helped her through a little by lifting her ankle as she was struggling with her legs.

"Fuck, Forbes. Have you seen the state of your feet? What did you do? Walk here barefoot?"

Caroline tried to force her face to cool down and make the situation even worse. She was lying on Tyler's floor on her stomach while he was holding her ankle. Fuck her stupid ideas. "Yeah, what about it? Elena and Matt were too busy being adorable so I couldn't really ask them and you were my ride."

Tyler dropped her foot as though it was on fire. "Are you trying to say it's my fault?"

Caroline sighed. One of these days, Tyler would bitterly regret his feisty temper. "No," she paused for him to calm down, "I walked. My choice. No one's fault. Chill." She got up from the floor, brushing her clothes to remove any creases or dirt. "I just came to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be mean earlier."

Tyler sat down on his bed, nonchalantly looking away. "It's fine. Didn't bother me."

That was a lie. Like her and unlike everyone else, Tyler felt everything just like her but the difference between them was that he was a lot better at hiding it. Not that she was ever going to tell him. Pretence was their necessity and reputation was as important as fact.

"You didn't really bang the school nurse, did you Tyler?" Caroline asked instead, knowing it was more comfortable ground to pursue and knowing that, she sat down on his bed too. She folded her legs up on the bed, and she was surprised to not hear Tyler comment on the dirt on her feet. She supposed that it was a really girlie thing to worry about that sort of a thing. Analysing the depths of his eyes, Caroline made a game out of trying to guess whether or not he was telling the truth. Did anything in his gaze reflect any indication of truth? Not really was the unfortunate answer. "You can tell me, Tyler. I promise I won't tell."

Tyler laughed. "You wouldn't tell? Please Caroline, you haven't been able to keep a secret since the day you were born."

"Hey, that's not fair. Sure, I don't really have the best track record when it comes to secrets but if you really don't want me to tell anybody, I promise I won't tell anyone. You have my word."

Tyler thought about it for a minute, looking at her as though trying to judge her sincerity. "Fine. I believe you. So don't disappoint me."

"I won't."

As one of the leftover children, it was the strongest, most unbreakable oath you could ever swear. Having been told you are the eternal thorn in your parents' backsides and that you are their biggest disappointment repeatedly creates a certain sigma around the word. As a leftover child for all intents and purposes have already disappointed the large general public of the world in their immediate vicinity, it was almost an offence punishable by death to disappoint a fellow leftover. It was a philosophy they had created when they were twelve. Caroline doubted Tyler remembered.

The room seemed to almost vibrate in a magical silence as Caroline awaited the answer to the question that the entire school had been pondering for three days. Getting the exclusive truth on this matter made her feel empowered and special. It was a feeling that was almost addictive. Caroline moved closer to Tyler as though being physically close to him made it more intense. Her kneecap touched his. "Yes?"

Tyler breathed for a moment. "No. I didn't sleep with the school nurse. I was close to though. I think. I was about to kiss her."

Caroline's eyes widened. She sort of knew that Tyler hadn't but still... This so much better than she had ever hoped for. "Really? You were? Oh God... But... she's like... old?"

Tyler snorted. "She's not old. She's 23. And besides, I look old for my age."

At this, Caroline couldn't help but laugh. "In your dreams, Lockwood. I mean, with your top off you might look... eighteen at the most but she would still already know that you're only 14."

He shrugged. "Didn't seem to bother her that much."

Curiosity had always been one of her worst traits but it wasn't so much the gossiping itself that made it one of her most expressed feelings but rather the power that came with hearing privileged information. "But have you like... actually... you know... done it?" She gave him a poignant look, indicating her intention, excitement fluttering out into her very fingertips. She wasn't sure what it was about sex, but it made her really curious. Perhaps because it was so personal information that it was one of man's most preserved secrets and under the secret code of the leftovers, honesty always had to prevail.

Tyler nodded. "Yeah, I mean, haven't everyone?"

Caroline hated herself for turning dark red. She tried to hide her face but Tyler had already seen. The gasp he let out in surprise was a humiliating confirmation. She wanted to die. To be buried deep, deep down in the earth for archeologists to find her in million years to come. "Shut up," she pressed out though barely able to speak because of all the shame. She knew it was something she should've done by now. She knew Elena and Matt had done it ages ago, or at least so it felt like, and she was pretty sure Bonnie had too. Tyler had been her only chance not to feel like a freak but of course, he'd done it as well. In that sense, she was the only real leftover. Tyler was just in for rent while his family was being messed up. She was there for life. Someone obviously liked Tyler enough to sleep with him and Caroline couldn't even get a guy to look at her.

"Hey, hey," Tyler moved closer, touching her chin to try and get her to look at him. She didn't want to. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

She didn't know why she was crying.

"Yes it is."

Finally, Tyler forced their eyes to meet and though she adverted her gaze almost immediately their eyes had still met and that reduced her to a little ball of sobs. She wasn't sure why but she knew that Tyler was the only one who wasn't going to judge her for it. Proving to be a lot better than she pegged him for, he actually moved closer and put his arms around her. Holding her almost like a child, Caroline's embarrassment heightened but her tears didn't seem to want to stop. Why she was crying she wasn't sure but maybe it was just this day, that her parents were fighting, that Elena stole everything she wanted and was too nice to be a bitch about it or that she had to put all of this pressure on Tyler just because she had nowhere else to go. Maybe it was because she hated Halloween or that she felt alone. Maybe it was all above or none at all. Perhaps she was a crazy freak who was slowly spiralling out of control and would end up at an asylum or something. It wouldn't surprise her. Caroline felt pretty crazy.

"I'm sorry," she said in between her sobs. "I don't want to cry." Somehow that almost seem to make her cry more.

"I don't mind," Tyler said, "We got each other's backs, remember?"

Between all the tears, that made Caroline smile and a little spark of happiness lit within her. Like the smallest little candle, fragile and weak, but it was still there. She hugged him.

"Thank you," she whispered, holding him close. "Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you."

He snorted and tried to put on a brave face but deep down, Caroline knew he was flattered. Tyler had this thing about not wanting to admit that he was a pretty decent guy so he had to act like an ass most of the time. The trick was to see beneath all of that and be stubborn enough to stick around while trying to give him his time to let himself trust you. After that, he'd be the best friend you ever had.

She kissed him lightly on the cheek before pulling out of the embrace, feeling lots better. She didn't remember when she stopped crying but she felt like a new person. Sort of. She just had to keep reminding her brain that she wasn't as alone and isolated as she led herself believe. It led to embarrassing moments, such as this one. She was almost afraid she had done something wrong because Tyler looked so serious. She was a lot more comfortable when people took her as a joke rather than when they took her seriously. She supposed it was because she was out of practice with the former. She offered him a bright smile but Tyler wouldn't budge.

"You're not just giving yourself away to the first guy you see, Forbes. Which is okay. Actually, it's kinda cool. I mean, I respect it. I know I couldn't do it."

Caroline laughed. "Jeesh, Tyler, did my parents pay you to say that or something? You sound like such a PG movie you have no idea."

"Stop joking around about it," Tyler replied darkly. "You're ready when you're ready but until then you shouldn't beat yourself up about it."

Apparently he was serious. Which was sort of flattering. "Thanks."

tbc

Author's Note: That was part one of the fic. I hoped you like it. I just wanted to note that with this fic I don't want to make any grand statement about people when they are "supposed" to have sex or anything like that (in case someone feels like I might try to make some sort of statement here) which I'm really not. But yeah, feel free to leave a comment. I'd really appreciate it.