Kira was crying. This wasn't unusual for him, he cried a lot. Most times he didn't even know why. Maybe it had become a habit.
Tonight felt different though. Kira wasn't just sad, he felt heartbroken. A deep, excruciating ache permeated his entire being. Loneliness. He realized he was hopelessly lonely… and had been for so long it wasn't something he noticed most the time anymore. But sake always brought things like this to the surface of his mind, and tonight he couldn't ignore it. It didn't matter that he had friends who genuinely cared for him, and it didn't matter that he had a purpose in life as a shinigami. He was bone-deep, desperately lonely.
He sat at the bar silently weeping, head bowed, hot, salty tears dripping on his hands, the bar counter, his sake cup (that he kept refilling in hopes of drowning out that all-pervasive ache even though he knew it probably wouldn't help at all). He was ignoring the buzz of inebriated chatter around him, consumed with this desperate ache. The dingy Rukongai bar was pretty crowded with peasants and shinigami alike but Kira couldn't remember ever having felt so alone.
His thoughts wandered, as they so often did, to his silver-haired captain, Ichimaru Gin. He wondered what Gin was up to this evening. Kira had worshipped Gin ever since he and Aizen had rescued Kira, Renji and Hinamori from hollows. Kira thought of Gin as his guardian angel since that day. When Gin chose him as his vice-captain Kira was euphoric, overjoyed, it was a dream come true. He could be with his angel every day. Kira knew he would do anything for Gin.
As if by magic, conjured out of thin air, Gin came up behind Kira, put his hand on Kira's shoulder, and said 'Hiya, Kira-kun, mind if I join ya?' He always used this pet name for Kira. He hadn't noticed Kira's tears yet. 'Of course, taichou' Kira answered, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes in an attempt to erase the remnants of his tears before Gin noticed them. Too late. Gin turned to face Kira and noticing his sad expression, asked 'Whatsamatter, lil' Kira?' Gin's usually slitted eyes and joker-smile were replaced with genuine concern. Kira thought it was strange not to see him smiling but Gin couldn't smile seeing his vice-captain so obviously upset.
'Oh, it's nothing taichou… I just get sad when I drink' Kira lied. Being with Gin now did comfort him partially, but the ache was still there, just beneath the surface. Kira wished Gin would enfold him in his arms and let him cry into his chest.
'Well then, why're ya drinkin'?' Gin asked, his smile coming back slightly but his azure eyes still half-open instead of in their usual fox-like squint, gazing directly into Kira's teal-blue eyes.
'I-I don't know, taichou…' he answered wryly, and at this both men laughed slightly.
'C'm on Kira-kun, I'll take ya home, looks like ya had too much anyhow.'
Gin offered his arm to Kira to steady him, as he was already quite drunk. Kira gladly accepted, leaning on his captain for support. They walked back to Kira's quarters like that, the younger blond grateful beyond words that his silver angel of a captain had just happened to show up. Gin chuckled softly. 'What are you laughing at?' Kira blushed. 'I just like seein' ya drunk is all. Yer usually so tense Kira-kun, but I think I like ya better this way.'
They got back to Kira's rooms without running into anyone they knew. Gin opened the door, his other arm still securely around Kira's waist, holding him up as he kept sinking down, his legs wobbly from all the sake.
'Alright, here we are m'lil Kira. Yer so drunk I think I'm gonna have to stay with ya. Can't have my cute lil' vice-captain wanderin' around, gettin' inta trouble now, can I?'
Kira's heart leapt at Gin's words as the younger blond collapsed on the futon in the middle of the room. 'Ohhhhh, taichou, would you? Yesh, please stay with me!' Kira's words were slurred and wistful. He hadn't had this much to drink in quite some time, and since he barely ate anymore the sake hit him much harder than he had anticipated. But then again, he was trying to drown his sorrow.
'I've been so lonesome' he added without thinking about it. Sake always made him bold. This confession was something he wouldn't dream of telling his captain sober.
Gin sat down next to Kira on the futon, close enough so their thighs touched.
'But ya gots a lotta friends… how come m'lil'Kira-kun's lonesome?'
'I wanted to see you taichou…' Kira's voice was shaky, soft. He raised his head to let his eyes meet Gin's as he said this. Gin could see he really meant it.
'Well, I'm here now, Kira-kun' Gin hugged him. Kira buried his face in Gin's chest breathing in his scent of lilacs and sandalwood. Kira could hardly believe this was happening. His sweet silver angel was really here with him, hugging him, one hand behind Kira's head, long cool fingers twining in his soft blond hair. Gin moved his other hand between Kira's shoulder blades, he could feel how tense the muscles were there, trembling under the weight of still unshed tears. Gin started massaging the knots out of Kira's muscles. 'Mmmmm' Kira purred softly. 'Lay down' Gin told him. Kira stretched out facedown on the futon. Gin helped him out of the top half of his shinigami uniform.
'Tha's better' the silver-haired captain said softly. He knelt beside Kira and started working his long slender fingers into Kira's neck, shoulders, and all along his spine, feeling the tension melt away. Almost as if on a whim, Gin leaned down and kissed Kira lightly on the base of his neck. He'd been starting to fall asleep from the combined effects of the sake and the backrub, but that little kiss woke him. 'T-taichou?' he gasped. 'Yes, love?' Gin replied, fluttering more soft little kisses all down Kira's spine, stopping at the small of his back, lingering there, his soft lips not wanting to part from Kira's equally soft, pale skin.
'Taichou- you're- you're really here, right? I'm not dreaming this?' He still couldn't believe this was happening, his silver angel was here with him, kissing him, Kira had wanted this for so long.
'Nope, yer wide awake, I promise, sweet Kira' and Gin rolled him onto his back and kissed him full on the lips, gently, savoring the mix of shock, surprise and pleasure illuminating Kira's beautiful face. Gin knew Kira had been in love with him for a long time. The feeling had been mutual for quite a while too and now that they were really doing this Gin wondered why he hadn't made a move sooner.
Kira's arms wrapped around Gin and their kiss deepened, Kira parted his lips in an adorably sweet little moan and Gin swept his long tongue into Kira's warm, quivering mouth, tasting sake from earlier. Kira hungrily sucked Gin's tongue which he obligingly stretched out as far as he could, jamming it up along the roof of his mouth, running it along his small, perfect teeth. Gin sucked at Kira's bottom lip, making the younger man moan deliciously into his mouth. They kissed until they were breathless, then paused a moment to gaze into each other's passion-heated eyes. Kira's hands fumbled at Gin's chest, trying to get his clothes off, still clumsy from all the sake. Gin sat up, stripping off his shirt and straddled Kira. Kira brought his hands up to stroke Gin's smooth, white chest. Not enough. He sat up, leaning on one hand to steady himself, and started kissing Gin's chest while Gin wrapped his arms around Kira, tighter this time, both of them speechless, overtaken with this unexpected pleasure. Kira sucked at Gin's nipples a long time, kissing him more too, working his way down, rearranging his own position to bend lower and kiss Gin's stomach.
Kira's fingers found their way down to the bottom half of Gin's uniform, tugging it off slowly, wrapping his fingers around Gin's throbbing length. All the while Gin couldn't take his eyes off Kira. He'd always seen his vice-captain as impossibly, delicately beautiful, but this was incredible, beyond any fantasy he'd constructed while pleasuring himself (something he did quite often, and he always pictured Kira, only his little Kira). There was just something so innocent and sweet about Kira- Gin couldn't explain it but it stirred protective feelings in him. He didn't usually care who got hurt, but when it came to his sweet little Kira, he felt the urge to keep him safe and this made him all the more alluring in Gin's eyes.
Gin responded to the fingers stroking his length by stripping Kira out of the rest of his clothes and circling his own fingers around Kira's sex. They were kneeling in the middle of the futon, now both completely naked, each stroking the other, completely lost in pleasure. The room was dim, the only light coming from the thin crescent moon and the combined reiatsu glowing and swirling from their bodies. Kira's was a deep, marigold yellow, while Gin's was a translucent hue somewhere between lilac and azure. The different colors swirled together where Gin and Kira were touching, creating a soft multi-colored glow.
Kira pushed Gin back so he was still sitting but leaning back on one arm. Gin savored the feel of Kira's warm hands on his chest and torso, and he was getting a kick out of this little bit of uncharacteristic assertiveness from his usually shy vice-captain.
Kira settled himself between Gin's thighs and without warning wrapped his mouth around Gin's swollen length, sucking him in deeper, feeling him twitch with pleasure. 'Mmmm, sweet Kira…' Gin murmured, stroking soft blond hair. Kira pulled back before he brought Gin too far and looked up at him with a soft, hazy expression, his big, green-blue eyes exquisitely dilated. Gin smiled, his azure eyes still much wider than usual, sparkling, and guided Kira onto his back, laying him down gently, his hands stroking Kira's chest, toying with his nipples. Kira's breath hitched in his throat, a small gasp escaping as Gin sucked at his nipples, planting soft, wet kisses all down his stomach and stopping between his legs, savoring Kira's delicious scent.
Kira squirmed in anticipation as Gin just barely ghosted a kiss on the tip of his throbbing cock, teasing him. Gin brought his hand up to Kira's mouth, his fingertips caressing those soft, full, pink lips that parted, letting them explore the inside of his mouth. Kira sucked Gin's fingers while Gin took Kira's length all the way into his mouth and sucked him hard. Gin brought his hand back down and without warning shoved first one finger and then two into Kira.
Kira wondered if Gin knew he was still a virgin, and as if reading his mind Gin lifted his mouth from Kira's quivering cock and said 'So tight, sweet Kira- this ya first time?' Kira couldn't find words so he merely nodded, gazing up into his silver angel's eyes.
'Yer all mine, sweet Kira' Gin whispered, smiling, and added a third finger, stretching Kira to make room for his length and curling his fingers to stroke at the sweet spot deep in Kira's core. The young blond shivered and cooed with pleasure. Gin thought it was immensely sweet that Kira was still a virgin, and Kira knew there would never be anyone for him but Gin.
Finally, Gin pressed himself into Kira, making him moan in delight at the welcome intrusion, both men smiling languidly, their combined reiatsu swirling, filling the room with an ethereal glow, all the better to see the pleasure softening and illuminating each other's features. Gin pulled out halfway, then thrust back in harder. 'Ohhhhhhhhhh- Gin…..- you feel so good….' Kira crooned. He was so hot and tight Gin had a hard time holding back. He slid his arms around Kira, drawing him up into a close embrace while impaling him even deeper, loving every shudder and moan that escaped the delectable blond.
'Sweet Kira…' Gin breathed into his ear. He laid him back down, gently thrusting deeper, leaning down to suck his lips again, one hand on the back of Kira's neck to tilt his head up so he could fully appreciate the look of overwhelmed pleasure on Kira's face, the other hand moving between them to stroke Kira.
'Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. Gin… mmhmmmmmm….' Kira moaned. Gin kissed him deep, soul-deep, wringing louder moans from his throat.
As he thrust in for the last time, his grip tightening on Kira, they both came at once, for what seemed like forever.
'Oh-oh-oh-oh-OHHHHHHHHHH GIN! Yes, yes, YESSSSSSSSSSS!'
Kira moaned louder than he meant to but neither of them cared who heard, so abandoned in pleasure, so completely lost in each other. Kira's hot seed spilled all over both of them, shooting almost up to their necks as he tightened around Gin's length, feeling Gin's heat fill him to the core.
'Sweeeeeeeeeet Kira….' Gin moaned as he came. It seemed like another five minutes at least until they were both emptied out, and they stayed connected a bit longer, paralyzed with ecstasy.
After Gin pulled out and cleaned them both up, he laid down on the futon, hugging Kira tightly.
'I love you Gin.'
'I love you too, sweet Kira.'
And they fell asleep like that, spent, their reiatsu still swirling around them and giving out tiny sparkles in the darkness.