hey this number was put in my phone last night and i'm really hoping you're that cute mikasa chick from survey last night because i dont really remember how this got here
Sorry to disappoint you but I'm not Mikasa. However I am really confused - why did someone give you my number?
Wait I just realised, they probably just typed the number wrong
i dunno man but maybe someone decided to prank you
maybe we have a mutual friend or something
do you know connie springer or eren jaeger
No... but some of my friends did go out clubbing to the centre of Trost last night so it's not completely impossible
who maybe i met them theres a total of like two clubs in this fucking place
Sasha Braus, Annie Leonhardt and Christa Lenz
sasha? crazy brown haired chick that downs shots like a fucking fish and doesnt stop talking? with a scary blonde chick who doesnt talk much and a cute blonde short goddess
Yeah! That must be them :) small world huh
connie met this girl called sasha and challenged her to a drinking game and she was the first one to ever beat him
dude this is so weird i think that connie and your mate sasha are soulmates they're both loud and crazy
yep i bet you anything it was them two
Sounds like something Sasha would do... She's far too involved in my social life
She thinks I'm turning into a study hermit
might be surprising to you but my friends think i am too
its why i was at survey
got dragged out to have some fun and get laid
didnt in the end anyway since mikasa left with eren
i had kinda hoped shed taken pity on me and given me her number
Apparently not eh
ooooh mystery texter is gettin saaaaassy
I'm really not
According to Sasha, she met three guys at Survey last night and you were all smashed but I'm guessing you're John since you mentioned Eren and Connie
wait youre working out who i am
damn you are one creepy motherfucker
fuck no im not john
but yeah detective (chick? or are you a dude i cant tell) i am /jean/ pls tell sasha she is a bitch and she shouldnt spill stuff about strangers
She says that you told her everything about yourself anyway ;)
Detective *dude* thanks
woah and here i thought i was talking to a girl the whole time
and maybe i talk when im drunk so what
It's fine! Why did you think I was a girl?
your grammar is perfect except for full stops i only know girls who text correctly
plus you talked about having girl friends out to town i dont know i just assumed you were a chick too
Now you, kind of, know a guy who does too. Plus you seriously text weird as well, everything is spelt right but you have no punctuation anywhere what is that?
im german im paranoid okay i never think im spelling shit right plus english grammar is weird so if i include none it isnt wrong
also /man/ and here i thought i might be able to get in with a hot chick
are you sure you arent because i never got laid and i am a thirsty shit
incoming file:
incoming file:
See? I'm definitely a guy. No girl bits here.
You're German? Sasha did not mention this...
okay im just going to throw this out there but those are still loading and i better not be getting dick pics dude
i do not want to deal with a strangers dick pics
yeah so what plus i dont have an accent been ive been here too long now like 7 years maybe
NO OH JESUS NO I did NOT send you pick pics OH GOD why would you even think that
Riiiiiight of course you don't
Waaaait you wouldn't do that to a 'stranger's' dick pics? Does that imply that you would do that if the guy wasn't a stranger
Shit that sounded far too suggestive, I did not mean that to sound like a come-on
dude did you just swear woah i thought that you were some kind of weird prude
Why of everything I just texted did you only pick up on that?
i didnt know how to reply to the rest
but dont panic over the suggestive thing i say stupid shit all the time
oh hey they loa
Um? You didn't finish?
oh right yeah sorry dont worry im fine just had to do something a sec
yes i can see that you are definitely not a chick with that picture of your BARE CHEST
but dude how many freckles do you have oh my god
you have freckles on your...
how good is your fucking camera
jesus i cant believe im saying (texting?) this this is a weird thing and i have seen some weird shit
you have a freckle on your fucking nipple
How did you think I was going to show you I wasn't a girl (if not by dick pics ;D)
And yeah I have a few freckles on my chest
a few? that is an army of freckles my man
i assume you are covered in them
fuck dude you do realise you have a huge problem right you just took a half naked pic of yourself and sent it to a stranger
Well i may have asked Sasha if she gave my number to anyone and she said that she and her new 'friend' were swapping a bunch of people's numbers. She definitely gave a Jean my number and you said your name was Jean sooooooo yeah. I'm not that creepy really
I really don't know what possessed me to do that to be honest. I think I'm just over-tired
And so what if I am a tad covered in freckles
dude there is a half naked pic of you on my phone i need to put a name to chest other than 3 which is what your number was listed under
i dont really care i was just amazed by the infestation of the freckles
My name is Marco
I'm actually going to kill Sasha
its cool /Marco/ ill do connie in
soooo Freckles why is sasha so interested in your social life then
Why are you interested?
im curious so sue me
I don't know? She's just nosy mostly. I think she wants me to have more friends
dude i can feel the lies/half truths
Oh god do you really want to know?
come on Freckles spill it you could easily find me through this sasha and then connie so its not like im some creepy pervert like you could be since i dont actually know if anything youve said is true you couldve been stalking me and told me things that happen to make sense
You think too much, do you know that?
i have been told
now spill
Oh god please don't take this badly...
I'm gay okay?
Sasha is trying to set us up
She got a "vibe" from you and thought we could, you know...
right yeah i get it
okay then
really?
Yep. Really.
huh
i guess thats why you type so well
oi mr stereotype i can write like sum wannabe gansta if i wanna u no
i aint sum prissy camped up glitter bomb twink
now thats one i havent heard before
glitter bomb twink eh? im fucking dying over here
You know the type I mean
oh yeaaaah i know the type
well i can say you certainly arent a twink let me tell you i dont have the abs you have and i go to the gym like 3 times a week
You say that as if you think I wouldn't do that
I go climbing actually and do gym stuff once a week
riiiiiiiiiight i forgot plenty of sweaty muscly guys panting and shit
That's not the only reason! I want to stay fit!
but you dont deny it
No...
called it
There are always half naked guy preening and flexing what do you expect, it's like a waking wet dream
okay there Thirsty Freckles calm down
Sorry if I made you awkward
I sort of forgot that I don't actually know you
We've been texting for a while
like two hours jesus
do you want to know a secret
Wait what?
a secret
like something i havent told many people
and that i can tell you because i dont know you and i most likely wont ever and i need to tell someone
Yes?
A bit random but okay
im fine with guys nailing guys
to the point at which id be okay joining in
do you get me
Did you just come out to me
um yes
dont get me wrong i fucking love girls but damn guys man
fucking hot but im not sure i would date them though i think i prefer girls in the mushy gushy flowers and hearts type way
well this is fun
I'd say that yeah
your mate sashas gaydar is on point though its what she wanted right
Tell me about it
However her taste in guys for me is usually not the best
how
Normally I can't stand them
Either they're too nice, or gorgeous but I don't like their personality, or I just don't really find them attractive and then they get pissy when I won't put out and they dump me without a proper explanation
still hung up on that last one then
Yep he chucked me a few months ago
ah so you havent done the do since then and now this sasha is fed up with your sexual frustration and is trying to get you laid
Got it in one, prize for you, Mr Jean
Hey that rhymed
Jean sounds more French than German though...?
my grandmother was french im named after her dad
of course you are
oi stop laughing
anyway Freckles how can someone be too nice
I like my boys with bite
do you like them biting literally or...? ;)
That depends you pervy weirdo, I just meant that I tend to go for arseholes
Call it a personality flaw
you like the bad boys eh
plus again you never said no to biting
piercings and tattoos and punk ass attitudes with a side of leather jackets and motorbikes
Pretty much and no I really do not want to explain that right now
Is this creepy? I sound creepy in my head
not really dude chill
i like the good girls though but the ones with hidden sarcastic witty depths and preferably a preference for kinky shit
Nope I've decided, you are far creepier than I am, why you thought I'd need to know that I don't know
well im a kinky motherfucker maybe i like explaining my sexual exploits
plEASE STOP
okay fine
i have to go out now
bye Freckles
Goodbye Jean
Do you want to talk again some time
you know what Freckles
i think id like that
AN - This is my first non-Hetalia fic, please be nice... And yes, it is entirely written in texting format.
Sparks xx