Disclaimer: I do not own the Robbins family or the Torres family. Everyone else in this story is my own creation. This is just for fun and entertainment, not for profit. Reprints of this story require my permission, however.
Author's Note: I'm back! I've spent more than a year off and on (mostly off) working on this story for my enjoyment and now that it's done, I figured I'd plunge back in and share it with you guys. Since it's done, you can expect a steady posting of one chapter a week on Sundays. You get a prologue and a chapter today, though, to get you going.
This is an AU story, but it is still about the Callie and Arizona from the show. As you'll see they've each had a major event in their life that went differently, which changed their path in life. This is the story of how those changes affected them and how they still manage to meet (and how some things don't change).
This story is rated M for language and sexual situations (nothing super graphic). If you have any PTSD triggers, this might be a rough one to read in spots. I'll warn when the really bad stuff is coming.
And in case you've never read my stories before, just a warning: I don't write rainbows and puppies. I write drama that can be dark at times (I tend to believe in making the characters suffer a bit and see how they react). I promise a good ending, but it can be a long, rough path to get there. Also, I'm a firm believer in a "first time" story having the first time as the, um, well, climax, so don't expect them to hop into bed too early in the story. So, if that's not your cup of tea, I won't be mad if you give this a pass. Different strokes for different folks and all that.
I'm always happy to hear what you have to say (pay your writers through comments!). Constructive criticism is very welcome. Nasty comments from anonymous posters will not be approved.
Ripple Effects
by AmboDriver
Prologue
November 5, 1983
Today was supposed to be one of the best days of Arizona's life. It was her ninth birthday and, while her party had originally been planned for tomorrow, this day was supposed to be special in and of itself. She had planned on waking up and getting a call from her father from halfway around the world so he could wish his little girl a super happy birthday. Then she would open presents over breakfast before going off to school. There would be cupcakes and cards and balloons in class, as there were for each child's birthday, and she was going to spend the day being the focus of attention. And then the next day she was going to get to enjoy it all over again as nearly every child in her class came over to the house for her big birthday party. At least that was how it was supposed to be. But then a knock on the door had changed everything for her.
"I'll get it," Arizona said, as she rose from the table where she, her mother, and her little brother were working on the invitations for her birthday party. She laughed once as she looked back to see her mother making a face at her brother while he made one back at her. They were being their usual silly selves on this Sunday morning and she couldn't help but smile.
Arizona's smile continued, her dimples popping on each cheek, as she went into the living room and to the front door. She opened it without a second thought and looked up at the two Marines standing in their dress blues. She recognized Colonel Ellington because he lived just down the street, but the other man, a major who stood a little behind the colonel, was unfamiliar to her. "Arizona," Colonel Ellington said quietly as he looked down at her with such seriousness, "is your mother home?"
"Arizona, who is it?" her mother called out from behind her.
She turned to tell her mother that it was just the colonel from down the street when she saw the horrified expression that overcame her mother's face. "Mom?" she asked as her heart started beating hard in her chest for some unknown reason.
"No, please no," her mother whispered as she grabbed at the back of the sofa for support.
Colonel Ellington's voice was stronger now when he spoke. "Mrs. Barbara Robbins, the Commandant of the Marine Corps has entrusted me to express his deep regret that your husband, Major Daniel Robbins, was killed in Beirut, Lebanon on this day, October 23, 1983. Major Robbins sustained fatal injuries in a bombing attack on the Marine barracks that occurred in the early morning hours. The Commandant as well as the officers and enlisted men of Camp Lejeune extend our deepest sympathy to you and your family in your loss."
Timothy ran up and started hitting the colonel as he cried and her mother just shook, her hand clenched tightly to her chest as tears fell down her cheeks. But Arizona just stood there, her brain trying so hard to understand what Colonel Ellington had said. Her father had gone off to be a peacekeeper. He had stood in this very living room and told her that he was going off to a foreign country to help them find peace. He had smiled and his bright blue eyes had sparkled as he ruffled her hair. "I'll be back in a few months, sweetie. And I promise you I'll call you on your birthday. I could never miss my girl's ninth birthday."
He had lied. He was never going to come home and he was never going to call her on her birthday. Not this year or any year. She was never ever going to see him again. But in that moment she just couldn't process it all and so she stood and watched the chaos erupt around her, her heart still pounding loudly in her ears even as she felt like she couldn't move her body.
Now her birthday was going to always remind her of this—the clear blue skies and chill in the air, the perfectly aligned white tombstones stretching off in each direction, the officers and enlisted Marines all dressed in their blues with their gleaming gold belt buckles, some with swords hanging at their sides. Section 59 of Arlington National Cemetery was filled with dozens of friends and colleagues of her father, all coming to pay their last respects to one of the highest ranking officers killed in the bombing of their barracks in Beirut. But she was just there to say goodbye to her daddy.
Her mother sat between her and Timothy, with other relatives and friends standing or sitting around them like a protective barrier. But Arizona barely noticed them. Her eyes were fixed instead on the coffin only a few feet away, the coffin in which her father's body was lying eternally still. He had been too injured, her mother said, for them to even see his body, and so part of her didn't even believe that he was in there. How could a man that full of life just be gone? How could she say goodbye to the most important man in her life, and on her birthday no less, when she didn't even understand why he had died? He had gone off to bring peace and had been killed for it. It made absolutely no sense to her.
She hadn't really listened to the minister or the others as they spoke about sacrifice and loss. The same words had been spoken at the memorial service back on base when the president and first lady had come to share in their grief. They had both spoken privately to each of them, expressing their sorrow and gratitude to her and her family in reverent hushed tones. But president or no president, those words didn't matter back then just like they didn't matter now.
What mattered was that she hadn't gotten the phone call this morning she was supposed to get. She had woken up that morning in their hotel room, hoping that the last few weeks had been nothing but a nightmare and that the phone would be ringing any minute, but then she had seen their clothes laid out, all black and somber, and she had felt that last ray of hope evaporate. Now all she had were the memories of her father and years ahead of knowing he was gone forever from her life.
The guns firing caused her to jump and look up from her thoughts as the report echoed three times through the air. Her mother reached out and grabbed tightly to her hand, squeezing so hard she was afraid it would break, but she didn't cry out. She was a Robbins and a Robbins didn't cry over a little pain. Her grandfather had saved nineteen men at Pearl Harbor while injured and she was sure he had never cried out in pain. And her father had died trying to save his men despite his injuries and she was sure he never even whimpered. Daniel Robbins would never complain, no matter how badly he was hurt. He would carry on like a good Marine and she would, too. He would want her to do that.
The bugler standing away from the grave site then began playing Taps and Arizona felt a stray tear cascade down her cheek. She reached up and angrily wiped it away. She wanted so much to not show her sadness. She wanted to be a good Marine and Marines didn't cry. But she couldn't help it as the clear trumpet sounds seemed to echo among the white tombstones as if reaching out to all the other heroes buried there, stirring them to welcome a new brother home to their ranks. She closed her eyes and willed the tears to go away, but to no avail.
When she finally opened her eyes after the lament had ended, she could see the team of six Marines begin to fold the flag they had held tightly suspended over the coffin during the entire service. She watched intently at the precision of the team as they completed the strict sequence of folds until the flag was tucked into a perfect triangle and held by the officer in charge of the funeral detail. He then slowly came over to them, standing in front of her mother for a moment before kneeling and extending the flag. His words were quiet and Arizona had to strain to hear them clearly.
"On behalf of the President of the United States, the Commandant of the Marine Corps, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag in memory of your husband's honorable and faithful service to Country and Corps."
The major then stood and saluted her mother, his gloved hand slowly rising to touch the edge of his cover before falling at the same slow pace to his side. After a moment's pause, he returned to his position at the side of the coffin. The minister then offered a simple ending to the funeral, asking everyone to attend the small gathering her mother had planned at their hotel. But the words barely registered with Arizona, who sat and stared at her mother and at the death grip she had on the folded flag in her arms. It was as if the material were her father himself and that if she just kept a tight enough hold on it, Major Daniel Robbins would somehow not be gone.
Her mother's voice sounded almost robotic when she finally spoke. "We should get going." Barbara Robbins stood, holding one hand out to Arizona in silent indication she should follow.
Arizona looked up at her mother for a moment before looking back at the casket that held her father. Instead of taking her mother's hand, she ran over to it and wrapped her spindly arms around the mahogany. "I love you Daddy," she whispered with her lips pressed right up against the seam where the lid met the casket body. "I love you so much and I'm going to make you proud. I promise."
"Arizona?" her mother said from just behind her, her voice almost cracking on her name. "Come on, we need to go now. Your father wouldn't want us to stand here and cry."
Arizona shook her head and quickly swiped the heel of her hand across both cheeks to chase away the tears that had lingered there. She took a deep breath and turned to look at her mother. "No, he wouldn't." She reached out to take her little brother's smaller hand in her own, giving it a light squeeze that drew his attention to her instead of to the coffin. She then silently led him back toward the town car they had rode in on the way to Section 59, their mother walking just behind them. Arizona refused to turn and give her father's casket one last look. She would be strong and make her father proud. She had promised him that and a Robbins never broke their promise.
October 18, 1997
Callie blinked her eyes open and squinted at the sudden assault of light that attacked her. It had been a long night and she hadn't even gotten into bed until almost 4, so the fact she had slept in what was almost an alcohol-induced coma until noon really didn't surprise her. What really surprised her was that her mother had allowed that to happen.
After all, they were supposed to be meeting with Aria's wedding planner about something or other. Rushing a society wedding wasn't something that was normally done, but seeing as Aria would be showing in another few weeks, the wedding had to happen and happen fast. A daughter of Carlos Torres couldn't sneak off and have some quickie wedding at the court house, especially not to the son of a state senator, so Callie had spent the last two weeks getting hints of what her own wedding hell would look like if she ever found Mr. Right. And in the meantime, she was forced to undergo every painstaking step with her sister.
She sat up in her bed and ran her hands through her hair and over her face before yawning deeply. "Why the hell did I go out with those idiots last night?" She hadn't seen Xavier or Diane since they had graduated college the previous May, so when they had called to say they were in town, of course she had agreed to a dinner that led to a few drinks and that finally ended with them singing loudly as they stumbled down Ocean Drive after closing down the bar at her father's nearby hotel. And now she had a pounding hangover as a souvenir of her debauchery. "Never again."
A light knock on her door made her shake her head to try to chase away the haze. "Come in."
The door opened and Rachel, who had been a housekeeper for the Torres family since before Callie had been born, came in with a small pile of envelopes. "I just got the mail. I knew you'd want to see what this has to say." She extended one of the envelopes to Callie, a hesitant smile on her lips.
Callie's eyebrow rose when she saw the return address and she tried to suppress the grin that wanted to come to her lips. Her heart started to pound in anticipation as she ripped into the envelope and pulled out the single slip of paper. Her eyes darted down the letter and it only took her a moment before she stopped, her excitement disappearing at the first words. We regretfully inform you…
She looked up at Rachel. "They don't want me."
"What? How could they not want you?" She reached down and took the letter from Callie's numb fingers, her eyes scanning over it. "That's just bullshit. Sure they have lots of applicants, but you're exceptional Callie. How can they not see that?"
Callie shrugged, her mind trying to grasp the rejection. She had applied to the Peace Corps almost on a whim, but after starting the process, she had quickly become enamored with the idea of going off to help people who had so little. Her father had always told her that they should give what they could to others because they had been blessed with so much, and she was finally taking that to heart. And just when she found what she thought would be the perfect way to give back, she was being denied that chance. "I guess they didn't need a chemistry major. Not much call for Bunsen burners and test tubes in Africa I suppose."
Rachel sat down heavily on the side of Callie's bed and tossed the letter onto it with a look of contempt. She then gave a fair attempt at a smile, albeit a sad one, as she brushed a strand of hair back over Callie's ear just as she had done when Callie was a child. "I'm so sorry. I know you really were looking forward to this."
"Yeah," Callie agreed with another sigh. She wiped at her eyes, afraid that the tears she could feel pooling there might spill onto her cheeks. "I guess I'll have to figure out what I want to do now. There's always grad school I guess, but I better get a move on if I want to get in for next year." She balled her hand into a fist, mad that it felt like life was going to have to be on hold for the time being while she just figured out where it was supposed to be heading. She then laughed dryly. "I guess I can throw myself into Aria's wedding now, huh?"
Rachel's smile was clearly meant to be supportive, but it was still pretty weak. "You'll be the best maid of honor ever."
Callie's laughter was louder now, although just as lacking in mirth. "I highly doubt that. Still, it's what's expected."
Rachel nodded. "It is," she agreed quietly. She then let out a deep breath and stood up. "Your mother wanted me to tell you that you need to be ready in thirty minutes. The wedding planner will be here then and you need to be there or the colors for the bridesmaids' dresses might be something you can't stand."
"Is that today's topic? Okay, okay, since that impacts me I guess I can get enthused." She whipped the blankets off and stood up so that Rachel would be able to report back to her mother that she was up and about. "I'll be down as soon as I shower."
"I'll let her know." Rachel then left the bedroom without another word.
Callie let out a deep breath and felt like she just deflated. She looked down at the letter on the bed and picked it up, looking it over once more just to confirm that she had read it properly. Then a sudden flash of anger welled in her and she balled up the paper, throwing it across the room with a loud scream. "Fuck!" But then a knock on the door pulled her out of her anger. "Yes?"
The door opened and her father poked his head through. "I saw Rachel and she told me about the letter. Are you okay, mija?"
"Yeah, Daddy," she said but she knew she was lying, and her father must have known it as well, because suddenly he was crossing the room and wrapping her in those strong arms of his. She was instantly a little girl again being comforted by her dad after the kids at school had teased her. And just like back then, the trigger of falling into his arms caused the tears to flow.
"I'm so sorry, Calliope," he whispered into her hair before kissing her on the crown of her head.
Callie nodded as she sniffled and wiped at her eyes to dry the tears falling down her cheek. She pulled back and forced a sad smile up at him. "It's okay. Really."
He looked down at her for a minute before nudging her toward the bed. They sat on the edge and he put his hand gently on her knee. "You're not used to failing," he said softly.
She knew he was right. She had never really failed at anything before, at least not when it came to academics, and at this point in the selection process the rejection was based purely on what she looked like on paper, so it felt like they were doubting what she had accomplished so far in life. "Maybe you're right."
He turned toward her and gently grabbed at her chin to turn her head so they were looking at each other. "We all have moments where things don't work out for us, no matter how hard we try. You need to get back up and use this as an opportunity. Maybe there's something better out there waiting for you, something that you can't see from here. Maybe you'll find a career you love because of this. Maybe the love of your life is down this path."
That made her laugh despite herself. Where she had always succeeded in school, she'd crashed and burned every time she had ventured into the dating world. But maybe her father was right. Maybe this was meant to be. She nodded and took a deep breath. "I'm at least going to prove that they missed out on someone amazing. When I'm picking up my Nobel Prize for chemistry, I'll be sure to thank them for not taking me."
Her father laughed quietly as he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him in a half hug. "That's my girl. You're going to do great things, mija. And I'm so proud of you. So, so proud of you."
To Be Continued...