Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note anime or manga, no matter how much I'd like to, so now that you know I guess you can guess that this story is an AU.

There is some romance and humor in here, but I could only choose two generes! ;^)

There is slightly more Matt and Near but they were my first two characters introduced so I decided that I'd choose those two characters in the description.

If I get enough reviews I think I'd sequel it cause the ending makes me feel like it should be sequeled.

Anyway, I wrote this because it's Halloween.

This is an oneshot and what's here is here and will not be updated or deleted.

It's a Halloween type story that I hope will please you all.

Please R&R.

Please let me know what you all think!

:^)


Little Beyond Birthday Bloody Red Riding Hood (mind you, he was given that long, long name for a reason…a very good reason) skipped through the woods holding a basket filled by goodies. He was heading for Blues Town to visit his (as his mother told him before she died) no good half-breed, fat pig stealing, car wrecking, ship sinking, pirate kissin, fairy squashin, Russian hating, kidnapping, pot smoking, pedophile, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandpa who owed him a treasure chest filled by jars of sweet, mouth-watering strawberry jam, which was his favorite treat, plus a knife, which was one of his favorite deadly weapons to play with and a bomb, which he won fair and square during a poker game with the (ancient) man when he was a small boy of five years. The old man promised him twenty or more jars of jam, knife and bomb.

But that was at least nine or ten years back?

He couldn't remember. LBBBRRH wasn't one to count time. The main point was that he wanted what was his and he was going to get it. He intended to use violence if the old man gave him trouble. And if the old man cooperated…well…violence would still be used. The journey to his grandpa's house was going to be tough, but he had a feeling that he'd triumph over the elements and evils that came his way.

It was intuition, but it was a strong and confident intuition that LBBBRRH had possession of and that was considered a very good thing, especially since the trip would be maddening to those who were sane and overconfident.

Well, Beyond Birthday was indeed overconfident, but he was definitely not 100%sane, but that was what was expected to happen when a kid came from a family of: sadists, masochists, hypnotists, killers, drunkards, perverts, executioners, prostitutes, thespians, emos, eccentric artists, tango dancers, circus freaks, clowns, mad scientists, lawyers and even more unbelievable three sixteenths Shinigami on his father's side of the family.

Yes, the poor child came from one screwed up family.

Besides that Beyond's sadist/perverted mother was the only person who ever truly cared for him after his father left to be a lawyer, but got tossed in jail when he found himself guilty of murdering his own client, and then his own legal representative, plus several defendants, which never really made sense to anyone. Sure, his grandpa helped out…if you could call it 'helping' that is…but people still said he was crazy due to his family.

And he actually believed they were right.

He was no fool, and he knew he wasn't as mentally stable as some of the normal people, but he still embraced the journey to get what was his and it was as simple as that. Despite the seriousness of his journey LBBBRRH was in a fairly good mood and not at all angry at or with anyone, which was a very good thing in fact he skipped down a path in the woods that had almost always been rumored to be overwhelmed by mysterious creatures and beings, with his goody basket, which was filled by delicious goodies, as far as anyone knew. Yes, he was delighted.

LBBBRRH (he was sometimes called by his neighbors who thought his nickname was a mouthful, but didn't know his real name) stopped after hours of skipping and sat down beside a lake to rest.

Bunnies hopped by and ducks swam about in the lake and deer nibbled at grass in the distance. Birds chirped in the distance making all seem peaceful.

It was quite peaceful.

LBBBRRH giggled as he pulled some strawberry jam from his goody basket.

He ate it all up and unbeknownst to him he was being watched by Kira Wolf. Big bad Kira Wolf was basically an oversized brown furred werewolf, which fed off any passerby who he deemed wicked or evil or…just plain delicious. He was also known to beat up little kids and make fun of old ladies and slobber all over fat guys that waddled like penguins and Kira Wolf had a red aura surrounding his personality.

He was totally going out with Misa Amane, who was a local witch, who lived in a gingerbread house deep in the woods. She ate little boys who came too close to her house and was a real jerk to little girls and a man stealer and a ditz and a good singer, which was only because her mother was a siren, but that wasn't the point.

The point was neither Kira Wolf or Misa Amane the witch were any good. Anyway, LBBBRRH was unaware he was being watched and continued eating his jam.

(For the rest of the story how about we just call him BB or B or Beyond or Beyond Birthday or just plain old Little Beyond, it would make things so much easier!)

BB hummed to himself as he finished the jar and dropped it into his goody basket. He continued on his way. Once he came to three separate paths he stopped. He looked at the three ways he could go. His humming stopped and he heard a rustling of bushes. He turned to see who was coming, for when one travels in a dark forest, one never knows what to expect. BB was definitely surprised as he saw who stumbled from the bushes.

A young, beautiful looking boy stumbled out.

That sort of surprised Beyond, especially since he was expecting an enemy to attack.

The boy had short curly white hair and dark colored eyes. His flesh was a creamy color of white and he wore a white button down shirt with pale blue pants and black shoes. He looked quite odd (and not for the previous reasons, which were just listed), for you see, he had a lengthy yet graceful cat tail, but he had floppy rabbit ears, instead of cat ears.

"Um…excuse me, sir." He asked politely sounding and appearing totally emotionless. "Could you help me find my way to Blues town. I think I've traveled a bit off course. And it's been nothing but trouble for me to just wander about these woods."

"Well," B said with a crazed smirk, "I'm heading towards Blues Town to visit my, as my darling mother used to say: no good half-breed, fat pig stealing, car wrecking, ship sinking, pirate kissin, fairy squashin, Russian hating, kidnapping, pot smoking, pedophile, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandpa who owes me a treasure chest filled by jars of tasty strawberry jam, plus a knife and bomb, which I won fairly in a poker game with the old geezer when I was five…or four."

"She did not like him did she?"

"Oh, yeah, they got along real well. He'd hit her and she'd break his back. Sometimes they let me in on the fun and tossed me down a flight of stairs. I didn't always like it, but it was better than a leather belt being lashed across my back. In return for their actions I spiked their drinks with medication that induced nosebleeds. Good times, good times."

The boy didn't seem the least bit concerned by what he heard and simply nodded as though he agreed, but he really didn't agree that those could be labeled 'good times' since they sounded real bad; he quickly deduced that B came from a family of sadists and he was, in fact, right in assuming such. "May I come with you?" he asked.

"Sure." BB said optimistically smiling a sickly sweet smirk. "Why not? The more the merrier my late mother used to say and I say that as long as there is someone you can use to shield your body from an attacking foe, monster, thief, evil wizard, assassin or some vicious beast then the more company you should bring." BB paused and scowled as he said, "Wish mother agreed with me on that bit of logic."

"May I ask what killed her?"

"A multitude of men who she dated all at once; they found out and killed her with rabid bunnies, which smothered her to death with their fluffy white fur."

The boy nodded, but didn't speak.

"My name is Little Beyond Birthday Bloody Red Riding Hood. BB, B or Beyond Birthday for short. What's your name kid? Snow White?"

The albino ignored his comment.

"My name is classified, as I am not required to tell you anything about myself since I am under the protection of the WPA of Rabbitsville, however I shall tell you that you may refer to me as Near. Before he was killed he, my father, always called me Near."

"Well, Near, I guess we'll get along, but I'm curious to know what you saw or did to have to be protected by the WPA of Rabbitsville?"

"I saw my father's murder and heard a confession to a string of murders and, even more important, a plot to destroy all of the world's mix-breed creatures and beings, such as myself, as we know it. The WPA has taken the culprits into custody, but need my testimony to execute them. I am not spiteful or a vengeful type of person, but they will pay for my father's murder and the attempted murder of others like myself."

B nodded. "I'll help you get to Blues Town unharmed, Near." He understood how the little albino felt, since he also came from mixed backgrounds. "You can make those creeps pay for what they tried to do and I'll watch with a smile."

"Thank you, BB." Near said quietly. He toyed with a lock of hair not taking notice when B smiled. "No problem, just remember that if I need a shield…." B trailed off, but gave Near a sickeningly sweet smirk that was an utter fake.

Near didn't respond, but nodded as if he understood what the red-eyed teen was implying even though he really didn't want to. That was that and off they went. BB skipping and Near walking in a sullen fashion they headed off going deeper into the fighting, yet mysterious forest.

Yet neither knew this, so neither knew of what was to come. "B, I think we're lost."

"What makes you say that little buddy?"

"Tell me, Beyond, where are we exactly?"

"Merryland." He stated sarcastically. Near gave him a stern look as his tail twitched with annoyance. "I dunno." Beyond simply shrugged ignoring the boy's irritated state. "Then we're clearly lost." Near sighed gently petting one of his floppy ears as though it were alive. Beyond hummed to himself starting to feel frustrated.

"Ya know these dark…creepy woods could be…filled with creepy things." Near said, as the woods around them grew eerie with each step they took. Beyond nodded his agreement feeling sort of nervous, and yet he also felt sort of calm and relaxed.

"Like zombies." Beyond said nervously.

"And werewolves." Near added.

"And vampires." Beyond said glancing about nervously.

"Oh, my." Near said quietly.

"Zombies and werewolves and vampires. Zombies and werewolves and vampires. Zombies and werewolves and vampires. Zombies and werewolves and vampires. Zombies and werewolves and vampires. Zombies and werewolves and vampires."

Beyond's eerie chant started to get to Near, who already felt uneasy listening to Beyond's eerie chant didn't help his nerves much at all.

Sure he was an albino cat, bunny, human half-breed, but that didn't mean he'd be undisturbed and blank all through this. He was traveling with a guy named, Little Beyond Birthday Bloody Red Riding Hood, for crepes sakes! Of course he'd be worried that B would probably turn homicidal and slash his throat or chop him to bits and pieces or start beating him until he dies or whatever else the crazed teen could think of doing!

Near was secretly terrified of everything that was happening.

It was only natural for a fourteen-year-old boy (or any boy of any age) to be frightened when with someone like B in woods that could've housed zombies, werewolves and vampires, as BB kept chanting about. The young boy jumped when a loud voice snapped at Beyond. "Oh shut up that stupid chant!" the loud voice snapped sounding royally ticked off.

"Some of us are tryin to sleep!" the voice seemed to come from nowhere and made both Near and Beyond uneasy, well, mostly Near. "It's like two in the afternoon!" the voice said sounding groggy.

"Vampire!" B accused angrily. "It's daytime!"

"Shut up whoever you are, you little weasel, I'm no vampire!" the voice snapped angrily. "I was up all night playing with my buddy, Chester, we had this awesome video game war. I totally won and poor Chester died, so just shut the hell up and let me sleep in peace and quiet!"

"You shut up!"

"No you shut up!"

"You need to shut up!"

"Shut the hell up!"

"No you need to shut the hell up!"

"Make me you wuss!"

"If I come out I'll throttle you!"

"No I'll throttle you, sir, now shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"Why don't you shut up?"

"Why don't you make me shut up?"

"You shut up!"

"No you shut up!"

"You need to shut up!"

"Shut the hell up!"

"No you need to shut the hell up!"

"If I come out I'll throttle you!"

"No, no, no, no I'll throttle you, sir, now shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"Make me coward!"

"We'll see who the coward is when I tear those red eyes out of your skull, freak!"

"Shut up!"

Silence.

"Yeah, you better shut up!"

Silence.

"That's what I thought!"

Silence.

"Coward!"

Silence.

"Why're you so quiet all of a sudden did you decide to wuss out?"

Silence.

"Cold shoulder, eh?" B said sounding more than just resentful. "That's just plain rude! You're a freakin wuss and a pussy and a jerk and a loser and probably a retired prissy princess who had a sex change. Jerk!"

"Who is your little friend?" the voice asked sounding more than interested.

"Huh?" B felt puzzled, but quickly understood what the voice meant. He looked to Near who was toying with one of his floppy ears, clearly ignoring them and their conversation, but was probably listening now that they weren't yelling threats and arguing as to who should shut up. "Oh, he's just my little buddy, Near." B said with a half smile.

"He's cute…do you guys make out?"

"You perverted son of a-"

"No, we don't." Near interjected placidly. "We're just…friends."

"Yeah, we're not at all familiar with each other's bodies." B said giving Near a wicked smirk. The boy scowled at him witheringly, but was ignored. "All I really know is that he's half cat, half rabbit, half human. Weird mix, but whatever you like is your business no matter how odd or freaky your tastes are. My tastes include strawberry jam or someone who is really hot…or just hot to me, whatever works, I suppose."

"Hmm, he's really cute…." The voice mused. "So you guys…aren't a…couple?"

"No!" B spat.

"Why?"

"I hardly know the kid!" the red-eyed teen snapped. "I'm not a pervert like you!"

"Oh, yet you both come through here and just so happen to be traveling together and practically walking hip to hip at the same time? Riiiiiight."

"Well this forest is creepy!"

"You're totally wanting to screw with somebody!"

"So not true!"

"So is true!"

"You're such a perverted little weasel you need to have your-"

"We are not a couple and were only hip to hip because this forest is so creepy looking." Near said calmly giving Beyond Birthday a scowl. "Beyond Birthday Bloody Red Riding Hood and I are merely acquaintances."

"Oh, I understand that." The voice said perceptively. "Why didn't your crazy, psycho buddy just say so instead of acting like a total ass?"

"He only does what he does for attention, or perhaps it's just because it's his nature to be insane. I am not entirely sure yet."

"Oh, he's a basket case, alright."

"I am not you stupid jerk!"

"Shut up me and Near were talking!" the voice snapped at Beyond. "Mind your own business, freak."

"You totally luuuuuvvvv him!" B giggled ignoring the 'freak' comment and ignoring the blush that spread across Near's face. "Near and a voice sitting under a tree doing something they shouldn't be!"

Silence.

"No, please don't leave!" B cried with a mock plea.

Silence.

"Scram ya dork!"

Silence.

Near glared at Beyond who stood silent and appearing annoyed.

"Sorry for my…friend's rudeness and insensitivity." Near said hoping the voice would understand. "He comes from a long line of crazies and sadists and masochists. Would you help us find our way to Blues Town? We're sort of lost, due to my…friend's terrible sense of direction. I'm sure you could help us, can you not? The sooner you do I promise you won't have to worry about BB disturbing your sleep or angering you anymore."

"He hurt my feelings and insulted my intelligence and ridiculed my outlook on life."

"B…apologize."

"No." Beyond said childishly. He was being rebellious. Near knew that, for like BB, he was no fool. "B, please, just say you're sorry and we can move on." Near said wearily feeling tired of standing there listening to LBBBRRH and some unknown speaker argue and bicker like toddlers on the playground. "No!" B snarled. Near stared at the ground and stood quietly thinking of a way to get him to apologize to their unknown ally. After much persuading B nodded and relented. "Fine…" he mumbled irritably. "I'm sorry." He said not at all meaning it but that was good enough for the speaker, who chuckled before he went silent.

"That'll do." He said. Within moments a tall, lanky redhead appeared and stood before them. He wore a striped shirt, which had the sleeves were torn at the wrists and jeans, which were ripped at the ankles and he also wore goggles around his neck, his hair was short and was a flaming red color, his skin was ever so pale (not as pale as B or Near's skin, but it could not exactly be called tan) and he had sparkling emerald eyes. He also had two fangs showing ever so slightly and both Near and Beyond noticed that he had sharp claws instead of normal fingernails and they also noticed that his sneakers appeared to have been chewed up by some type of animal and his eyes seemed to have a devious glow to them that made both Near and BB uneasy while they studied their 'ally'.

"Ha!" B exclaimed triumphantly. "I knew it! He's a vampire!"

"Pfft. Close, but no. I'm a werepire." The redhead scoffed.

"A what?" B asked sounding totally bewildered. "What's that?"

"A werepire. A funny thing happens when a sluttish vampire lady gets high off of a drunk, and then hooks up with a horny werewolf. Yeah, I'm sorta the result, well, me and my other nine siblings. Anyways, I'll be showing ya a way out of here, now or later, whenever ya want." He said smiling coyly.

"By the way my name is Matt," he added casting a glance to Near who nodded in response, "I know how to get ya to a better part of the forest."

Beyond pretended to gag, but was swiftly scolded by Near. The two acquaintances followed Matt who was quick to stop once they came to a fork in the road. Literally. There was a giant fork in the road separating two paths. "What's wrong?" Near asked noticing that Matt started to appear troubled. He gave both Near and B a fearful, uncertain look, which revealed that he knew something that he wasn't telling them.

"What's up horny wolf-boy?"

Ignoring the insult Matt turned away and dropped into a crouch-like manner.

"I smell blood…and death…and misery," he said quietly. "And I smell fear. Lots of fear. Something is killing things. Lots of death up ahead. One path smells worse than the other, but the other…it gives me a feeling of doom and utter destruction. I don't know where to go from here. H-how about you guys choose a path?"

"Matt said he knew the way." Near said sternly.

His tail swished side to side in annoyance. His ears twitched as he stared at the werepire waiting for an answer. "I lied." He said. A faint blush appeared across his face. Both Near and Beyond Birthday let out groans of disappointment and anger. Matt looked like a bruised and battered puppy after they did that. "Kay, I will." Beyond said smirking.

This startled both Near and Matt. The trio (Matt refused to let the two go the way Beyond chose for them to go alone) headed down the path Beyond chose Beyond skipping merrily, Matt jogging beside him and Near walking not caring if he fell behind.

The two elder boys stopped when they found a yellow rope lying in their path. "What do you think it'll do if we touch it?" B asked as he pondered the question himself. "I honestly don't want to know." Matt said as he shrugged carelessly.

"Well I do." B said as he bent over and picked the rope up. Matt, expecting there to be a trap, jumped to the side and landed in briar patch. He yelped in pain. Beyond held the rope between his fingers studying it, then tossed it away shrugging with uninterest. "Nothing interesting, it's bogus, pup. Just some rope some loser dropped." Beyond said sounding almost disappointed. Near helped Matt out of the briar patch. Beyond laughed as Matt whimpered and yelped with pain. Thorns stuck in him and they hurt real badly!

"Looks like we'll have to stop here." Near said examining Matt.

"Why?" B demanded.

"It'll take a while to pull these thorns out of Matt."

"Forget the werepire let's go!"

"No, B may go, but Matt and I will stay here until all of these thorns are out of Matt."

Beyond rolled his ruby orbs. He sat down feeling more than just a bit livid. He was furious that the stupid redhead had to slow them down. "Ow!" Matt howled as the albino pulled a thorn from his rear. Near smiled slightly as Matt rubbed his butt wincing. Near finished removing the thorns and B giggled as he did so. Near extracted the last thorn from Matt's body making the redhead wince and whimper and causing B to laugh.

"What's so funny you red eyed freak?" the angry werepire growled. "How about I toss you into that freakin thorn patch?"

"Try it and I'll rip you to pieces wolfy!"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?"

"Try to touch me and I'll bite you; maybe I'll bite you so hard I break your damn arm in half!" Beyond snarled narrowing his eyes slightly. "Yeah, well, I'd rip your throat out!" Matt barked. B let out an enraged cry as he tackled Matt to the ground and they rolled about fighting, while Near stood watching calmly toying with a curl of his hair. Matt prepared to bite into BB's arm and BB was prepared to bite into Matt's throat. That was when things went red.

Literally.

A thick red fog appeared and with it a very unpleasant aroma. Matt stopped holding Beyond's ankle in his mouth and Beyond clawing at Matt's leg. They recognized the smell of blood. "What's that?" B asked wrinkling his nose with distaste. The redhead dropped to all fours his claws digging at the dirt on the ground. Matt backed away from BB fearfully. The raven stared at him bemused. "The vampires!" Matt whispered in terror.

"Huh? Vampires?"

"Yup!" Matt howled sounding fearful. He trembled as the fog came in thicker than before and the smell increased making him want to puke. "They're classy creatures, ya know? They like appearing in style and like surprising people. They hate it when they run into me! We're like worst enemies or something!"

"Why is that?" B asked curiously. "Why would anyone hate you? I certainly love you!" he said sarcastically rolling his ruby red eyes.

"My blood isn't good for them." Matt explained. "It's like poison to them. A-and they hate me more than anyone else I know of!"

"May I inquire why?" Near's emotionless voice asked curiously from somewhere deep in the fog. "Did Matt do something to anger them?"

"If giving one of them food poisoning doesn't tick them off I don't know what will!" the redhead whined. "And the boos lady said if she ever caught me around her kind again I'd be force-fed garlic, which is very ironic since I'm more allergic to silver!" Matt howled with dismay. "We gotta get out of here!"

He prepared to run along with his companions, but before any of them could move an inch, however, hands grabbed them from behind and they all saw black afterwards.

Mello sat in his boss's office munching on a bloody chocolate bar. His boss sat staring into space obviously bored. "Mihael!" she whined. "I'm simply bored to death!"

"It's a little too late for that, Wedy, seeing as you're already dead." Mello muttered rolling his azure eyes.

He heard a soft purr from Wedy's pet hydra, Emi.

"Entertain me in some way." She said with a wicked smile. Mello rolled his eyes baring his fangs at her. "Entertain yourself bitch." He growled. She laughed and tossed him another bar. He caught it effortlessly with one of his pale hands. He watched as Wedy stroked her pet hydra's back as though the creature was a cat. It had sickly pale purple skin with glowing amber eyes and three heads. The half snake, half dragon creature purred loudly making Mello shudder. That thing always sounded weird!

Wedy simply stared at the ceiling thinking of all the ways she could have fun: torturing some foolish mortal, killing some handsome guy and making him a vampire, ripping one of her girls' heads off, buying some new clothes, give a village a plague, perhaps, she could get Mello to burn some unfortunate mortal's home, she could groom her little Emi or maybe she could read some (vampire playboy) vam-playboy.

Her thoughts were interrupted as the door to her dimly lit office was kicked opened. Mello didn't seem too surprised when three female vamps walked in with three struggling prisoners who had black bags over their heads so they couldn't see. They were forced to their knees in front of Wedy who was obviously pleased.

Rule one: run when you get caught in red fog. Mello thought taking a bite from his blood-coated chocolate bar. Poor bastards. He thought smirking. The blonde noticed that Wedy was also smirking, but she was smirking from excitement. "Well, let's see who we have." Wedy said brightening up a bit. "Un-bag them girls."

The three vampires obeyed. They pulled the bags off and the three prisoners stared up at Wedy clearly startled. They glanced around the office and took everything in from the beautiful blood red velvet curtains to the expensive looking hardwood floor to the black walls to Wedy's nice red oak desk and leather chair all the way to Mello who sat on a dark purple sofa not too far from them smirking evilly.

"Toto I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." B whispered to Matt who swallowed nervously, but silently agreed. The redhead forced his emerald eyes to meet Wedy's cold blue eyes. She glared at him. Mello instantly recognized the werepire. "Hey, Matt." he said waving curtly. The redhead nodded since he couldn't wave seeing as his hands were tied behind his back. "Hey Mels." He muttered.

"You know I thought I said that if I saw the guy responsible for giving my baby sister food poisoning I'd force feed him garlic until he puked his intestines out. Ya know I meant that and I'll carry it out before your little friends are drained and dumped in a ditch someplace far off from here."

"Great so wolfy dies before us?" B asked smirking maniacally. "That's great. One less loser to care about."

"Who are you calling a loser, you freak?" Matt retorted.

"Who are you calling a freak, you creep?" B snapped back at him. He knew they were about to argue and if that bought them some time, then maybe Near or him could come up with an escape plan. "Matty-boy is a creepy freak!" he said in a sickly sweet singsong voice.

"Jerk!" B spat.

"Pervert!" Matt retorted.

"Better than being a snot pup!" B cackled. He looked to Near who seemed puzzled but then nodded in understanding and began to think while his companions argued.

Suddenly Matt came up with a little insulting song of his own and didn't waste any time yelling it in B's face. "Red-eyed freak! Red-eyed freak! Red-eyed freak! That's what all the little kids shriek!"

"Shut the hell up slut-dog!"

"Bipolar!"

"Slobber hound!"

"You suck!"

"No, you suck!"

"Shut your ugly mouth!"

"You suck!"

"You suck!"

"We're surrounded by vampires you moron!" Beyond chuckled. "Vampires suck!" he exclaimed making all the vamps glare in his and Matt's direction with offense.

"Shut the hell up! Do you wanna die?"

"Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck! Vampires suck!" Beyond Birthday stopped to blow Matt a raspberry and say, "I'll say it nine more times if I wanna!"

"Are you speciesist?" Wedy asked interrupting their quarrel.

"No!" Matt blurted out for B.

"Yeah, little old me actually likes-" he cut himself off and let tears slip from his eyes. He screamed loudly as though witnessing a murder. The red-eyed raven stopped the tears and laughed his strange laugh. He forced himself to fall backwards. He screamed and shouted swears loudly. Near looked to him and shook his head before going back to his cold silence to think. The raven tossed his head side-to-side crying out as though he was in agony. BB made his body convulse and all the vampires looked at him like he was possessed.

B then jumped up back onto his knees and threw himself at Matt who wasn't all too surprised. The werepire yelped as teeth pierced his skin drawing blood slightly. The vampires, save for Mello, recoiled. "Demon! Demon!" one of the vampires hissed recoiling fearfully behind her mistress.

Mello chuckled darkly as he watched the two fight, but found the smell and sight of Matt's blood to be sickening. Wedy crinkled her nose in disgust, as her highly developed senses smelt the poison that was Matt's blood. "Enough!" she snapped. B didn't pay attention and kept biting at Matt. "Carla! Hedy! Pull them apart!" she ordered two of the three female vampires that were present. The two nodded despairingly. One grabbed Matt and pulled him away from BB and the other tried to take hold of BB but the crazed raven bit her. She howled and recoiled from him as though fire burnt her.

"Take the werepire to the torture chamber and lock these other two up until dinner!"

"Speaking of which what's dinner, milady?" the vampire known as Carla asked timidly. "I'm feeling famished! What's for dinner tonight, milady?"

Wedy smirked evilly as she eyed her two mortal prisoners. "Crazed red-eye mortal stew and for dissert I think we'll have some albino cream pie."

All three of the companions gulped. Near cast Matt a misery filled look as the vampire known as Hedy dragged him away. Matt looked longingly to Near and hatefully to B before he was forced from the room. B could care less of what happened to Matt. Mello noticed the exchange between Matt and Near and pieced what it meant in his mind. Matty has a little crush. He thought watching as Near and B were forced to their feet and led off to a dungeon.

They were locked in a dreary little cell. Matt's cries of pain drifted to their ears after a few spare minutes. Near covered his bunny ears meanwhile B muttered how big of a pussy Matt was. An hour later all went silent. Not all to long after the silence ensued a certain blonde snuck into the dungeon to see the prisoners who were pacing about like caged animals. "Hey." He greeted the two with a small wave and a smirk. "Why so tense?" he asked noticing that both of the boys tensed up upon seeing him.

"Is it dinnertime?" BB demanded glaring at Mello bitterly. "Never thought I'd die getting munched by vamps."

"Nah, it's not dinnertime, but I noticed a little something earlier."

"Really?" Near muttered studying the shady looking blonde distrustfully. "What did Mr. Vamps notice? That we aren't ready to die?"

"No, smartass!" he spat then smiled slyly. "I noticed that you and Matty have a thing going."

"No, they don't." B stated bluntly.

"We don't." Near agreed. "We're only friends."

"Yup." B grinned giggling sinisterly. "The redhead may like the albino, but the albino don't feel that way about the redhead."

"Really? Well, whatever. It's none of my business, but…. Look, I feel sorry for you guys. So I'm ready to make a proposition."

The two companions exchanged glances then looked back to Mello doubtfully.

"I'll help you guys escape if you promise you'll help me get to Blues Town."

"You too?" BB groaned. "Why?"

"Let's just say I've a debt I must pay to a Mr. Whammy."

"He's the Blues Town judge." Near said knowingly. "What debt do you owe him?"

"Not much, not much at all, just a couple of diamonds, gems and gold coins. It all adds up to a million in cash. We played some poker and…well…I lost."

"You too!" Beyond exclaimed with a sick smile. "Wow! If I didn't know any better I'd say that we were all in a story being manipulated for the pleasure of readers! This is all so freakin amazingly coincidental! God, I wish I had my basket! I need some jam."

Mello unlocked their cell and tossed the key away. "I've got your basket outside this castle just follow me and trust me and everything should be okay."

"Won't Mello get into a huge amount of trouble?" Near asked quizzically. He seemed to be a bit concerned, but overall he appeared blank. "Yeah, but whatever, Wedy really does suck." Mello sneered not seeming to care that he just insulted his boss. BB snickered as he followed the blonde. Near followed B and Mello playing around with his bunny ears. Near stared at the ground, but as they walked through the halls he smelt a strange smell. He smelt what could only be described as a wet dog who rolled in garlic and then dropped dead in July because that was how bad it reeked. Near turned and ran in one direction. He sped off from the others as fast as he could. Beyond called him to come back but he ignored him. He had to save Matt!

Mello swore loudly as B started to chase after Near and he chased after Beyond.

They found Near helping a weak, sickly looking Matt walk out of some room that they guessed was the torture chamber. "His allergies are making him this way; we need to help him." Near said looking at BB sternly. B nodded and helped, but Mello kept a distance away, because he claimed that he had a deadly allergy to garlic.

Once they were safe and sound they got some sleep, but awoke after hearing a loud roar then weak albino screams. Matt who felt much better after sleeping his allergies off sat up right looking around in terror. He was alone with Mello who seemed to have been dazed.

"What happened?"

"Ants!"

"What?"

"Giant ants got Near and BB!"

"Oh, splendid!" he cried with sarcasm. "Let's go save those two rascals." He sighed before following the pests' scent.

It took three days but they defeated the giant ants and were soon faced with killing an ogre and two giants, but instead done the sensible thing and ran! They were suicidal they wanted to live! Soon they were on their way to Blues town. While heading there they learned a lot about each other.

Here are some of the things that they learned about each other.

Near's real name was Nate River and his parents' names were L and Takada. L was a cat man and Takada was a rabbit woman. They got married and had a half cat, half bunny baby they named Nate. They all lived peacefully up until some jerks who hated half-breeds killed them both leaving Near an orphan who became bitter and distant. Near, however, admitted that he got a strange feeling around Matt. A warm fuzzy feeling. Of course he didn't tell Matt, but spoke with Mello and Beyond in private. The two elder boys snickered and teased him about having a crush on Matt. Near blushed, but silently accepted the fact he felt love towards the redhead. Matt was kind and warm-hearted and he was also very understanding when it came to Near and Mello, but he didn't like Beyond, which was okay with Near, because Beyond secretly creeped him out, too.

Matt's parents were abusive and very negative towards him, but that was okay because he always had a friend or two to be there for him and he was practically raised by an old hag who lived a couple miles from his house. His siblings were cruel to him all the time; Matt was considered the runt of the litter, which was not at all good in the sense of survival. He soon learned about drugs and other things that he used to entertain himself until he became old enough to live on his own. Ever since then he stopped using drugs and sensual methods and cut all ties with his old friends because he felt that they wouldn't accept him. He later admitted to his three new friends that he never wanted them to leave him because he'd rather die than live without them around. B responded with a snort of laughter. Mello smirked and smacked him assuring him that things would be okay and they'd be best buds. Near was the gentlest and softest when he responded. He simply nodded and said that he'd be Matt's friend forever and ever if that would make Matt happy.

Matt was happy to hear this.

Mello was a mortal who had been unfortunate enough to live with an overly religious father and a mother who was a drunkard. The two had constantly clashed. Mello grew weary of their fighting and left home one day when he was seventeen. He wandered too far away from home and was caught in the red fog. Bemused he tried to escape, but only ran into the arms of Wedy who didn't hesitate to turn him into a vampire. He destroyed his parents and everyone else who were dear to him as a human, and then started to live with Wedy and the others as their mastermind. He admitted that he was never truly happy there, but had no place else to go so they were like his only family. Mello didn't say it directly but he sorta liked Beyond Birthday in way that was beyond friendship. No pun intended. He told this to Near and Matt in secret. Near asked why while Matt literally fell over laughing. Mello liked BB because of his eccentric nature and his screwed up way of being friends with other people, besides, his blood was like a drug to the blonde vampire.

So hot and tasty that he wanted more after just one drop. Red as Beyond's eyes and as delectable as blood-coated chocolate. When B secretly let Mello 'sample' him Mello drank deep and pulled away giggling as though he were drunk. It was so amazing. There was a rush of energy and a sudden burst of pleasure that made him want to drink and drink until B was drained dry, but of course he cared about the raven too much to do that.

Mello got dizzy just thinking about it.

And Beyond told everyone about his screwed up family and about his screwed up childhood and about how screwed up everything else was and how he pixies were annoying. He mostly spoke of how he believed that once their journey was over they'd all be good friends and have everything they need done in Blues Town done. He was happy that he made some friends and wasn't ashamed to admit that. Nor was Beyond ashamed to admit that he had the hots for Mello and Near, but wished Matt would fall from a cliff and into a thorn patch because he was so dumb, but hoped Matt survived. Everyone laughed, including Matt and Near even grinned.

They were truly friends.

And nothing could've changed that.

Unbeknownst to them, however, Kira Wolf was following them. He saw that they were friends and knew that they were all evil…and perhaps even tasty! So he ran to his girlfriend, Misa and asked her to do him a favor. She nodded yes and cast a spell that ensured Kira Wolf would get one of the boys as a meal and the other would sure to come to save him. He was certain that his evil plan to devour them all would work!

He waited for them in a special hiding place Misa made for him in a thicket. As they passed he leapt! He bit into Mello's leg causing him to scream in agony. Blood sprayed everywhere! Matt leapt onto the evil wolf but was quickly knocked into a tree and thus knocked unconscious.

Beyond soon got into the fray. He pulled a knife out of his basket and slashed Kira Wolf across the back repeatedly. Blood seeped from the wounds. Kira Wolf wouldn't go down though and bit at Beyond's throat. B let out a loud cry of fear as teeth raked across his skin. B was pinned to the ground. Kira Wolf and he had a struggled, until Mello got into the fray. The blonde vampire brutally sank his fangs deep into the back Kira Wolf's neck. The wolf let out a loud howl of agony before turning and biting the vampire in his throat. Bright crimson blood gushed everywhere, luckily, though, vampires had quick healing abilities and the bite was nonfatal to Mello.

B's knife was dropped and he was defenseless.

Matt woke up around this time and rubbed his head groaning. He saw the fight and his friends who were under attack and jumped at the Big Bad Kira Wolf ready to kill. Yelps of agony and howls of victory echoed throughout the forest as the two creatures fought. Fur flew when Matt took on the form of a wolf. Mello, Beyond and Near were very impressed by his great fighting abilities. Matt charged Kira but was caught by surprise when the brown wolf dodged to the side and ended up slashing his shoulder down to the bone.

And to everyone's horror once Matt was on the ground Kira sank his teeth into Matt's soft belly. He ripped the unfortunate redhead's belly open causing his intestines and organs to fall out along with a pool of blood.

"No!" Near screamed even though he didn't want to in front of everyone. "Matt! Oh, no, please Matt!"

Kira smirked showing off his bloodied fangs. "I hope your all this tasty!" he laughed evilly licking up a mouthful of blood from Matt's wound. The redhead cried out weakly in pain. His life was fading fast. There were only a couple of sparks left. "You damn son of a bitch!" Mello yelled as he rushed at Kira even though more blood bubbled from his throat wound and puddled on the ground. "I'll murder you!" Beyond grabbed a large stone from nearby and attacked the large brown wolf. Near hurried over to Matt's side and cradled the poor redhead's head in his lap. Matt was just barely alive. But he was happy to see Near by his side. He wished he could speak but his vocal cords were ripped and he was too weak.

"M-Matt, don't die." Near whispered feeling afraid. "Not like my parents. Don't die like L and Takada did, please, don't die. I-I l-l-love you. I-I love Matt." The redhead smiled weakly trying to hold onto life the best he could, but Matt's head lolled to the side as his eyes became glazed in the end. Near let out a soft gasp as he realized that Matt was dead. Near heard a loud cry of anguish and looked up to see Mello was impaled by a tree branch, which Kira Wolf held tightly in his mighty jaws. The branch protruded from Mello's back and had gone through his heart. Weakened and dazed by what had just happened Beyond stood frozen staring hatefully at Kira Wolf. He didn't waste any time and pounced upon Beyond. He pinned the raven to the ground, and then to Near's horror sank his teeth into BB's throat.

Little Beyond Birthday Bloody Red Riding Hood was killed instantly.

"N-no." Near groaned as blood poured from B's throat and his glassy, dead red eyes stared up at utter nothingness in death. Kira wolf laughed a sick, inhuman, demonic laugh before he howled in triumph. He quickly turned upon Near who felt oddly numb. He was caught like a helpless mouse in a cat's claws waiting for death, but Near didn't want to die, yet he didn't want to live without his new friends. He knew what he had to do, for he was quick to think up a plan.

"Now," Kira Wolf said coldly, "it's time for you to die!"

Near who had been watching helplessly suddenly grabbed the discarded knife that Beyond had dropped and as Kira wolf leapt for the small boy he jumped to his feet and began to run. He heard Kira behind him. He heard the mighty paws as they ran after him and he heard the predator's heavy breathing as he chased after his prey. Near stopped as quickly as he could causing him to fall down. Kira wolf leapt into the air and blood spattered the ground. Soon the blood pooled around Near's limp body, which had Kira Wolf lying on top of him.

With a grunt of effort he shoved the corpse off of him. He was drenched in blood, but paid no attention to that. He simply padded back to where his friends had perished.

"We won." he said quietly. He looked at each body as he started to cry silently. "I've never cried before. You guys know that right? Well, I'm crying now, so, please, if you can hear me, know that we won and Kira lost. We won not that stupid wolf. We won. We're not losers and freaks. We're winners."

"I'll join you guys soon." Near sniffled raising the knife to his throat.

"No stop!" someone cried out before Near could harm himself. "Don't do anything hasty! I can help!"

A small woman suddenly appeared. She glowed a faint white. She was beautiful with long raven black hair and dark eyes, but she had creamy white skin and wore dark blue colored clothing. She smiled kindly and seemed nice. She looked at Near sympathetically.

"I can help you." she said calmly. "I can bring your friends back to life."

"R-really?"

"Yes." she said nodding. "My friends and me can bring them back to life and then you will be able to continue your journey to Blue Town. You see we've been watching you, because of how interesting you each are. We will help your friends, but there is a price that you must be willing to pay."

"Anything!" Near said not caring what he had to sacrifice. "Just bring my friends back!"

"Very well." the little fairy said appearing rather grim. "Tell me, first, though. Are your friends equal to your life? Are they really worth it?" She asked appearing rather dark.

"Yes." Near replied emotionlessly. "If you wish to take my life then do so, but, please bring them back!" The fairy lady nodded and flew off. Two hours later she returned with many other fairies, some of which, looked very odd.

"Please, Near, meet my friends Ryuk, Rem, Raye, A, Matsuda, Sido, Linda, Mogi, Aiber and Sayu."

Near nodded a greeting to them.

"Okay, listen, kid we'll need you to relax and do as we say, okay?" Aiber said with a movie star smile. "Can you do that?"

Near nodded and done as told.

"You'll feel some pain." A warned.

"Nah, a lot of pain!" Ryuk laughed. He sounded wickedly gleeful and coldhearted to Near's predicament. "Quiet!" Sayu and Linda snapped in unison. Moments later an unbelievable pain flooded throughout Near's entire body and he was prepared to die as a blackness swallowed his entire being. He opened his eyes and amazingly he was alive. And he stared into the eyes of…Matt….

But Matt's eyes were huge!

Huge and green and lovely.

"Near…oh…poor little Near…." Matt cooed.

"I still can't believe he done this for us." Mello muttered feeling where his fatal wound had been. "Man…we were…dead…and I mean deader than just dead, but…we were dead…." He shook his head as though he still didn't believe that they had died. "Near we owe you big time." He said softly.

"Ya know he looks cuter that way." B chuckled. It earned him a glare from both Mello, who felt bad for Matt, and Matt, who felt sorry for his love, who had been transformed from the creature he was and into a tiny pure white fairy. Near looked more human because his tail and ears were gone and he had human ears. He also had wings.

He realized this and felt sickened. He'd given up his species. But as he looked up into Matt, Mello and B's eyes he felt happy that he did, because they were alive.

"Can those wings help you fly?" B asked curiously.

Near shrugged and jumped from Matt's hand and fell straight to the ground.

Matt cried out feeling worried that Near had hurt himself.

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

"N-no. I-I think I broke a wing." Near said looking one of his wings, which was bent at an odd angle. Matt scooped little Near into his hands and gently stroked his hair with the tip of his finger being as gentle as he could. The redhead glared at Beyond briefly.

"Don't worry sweetie I'm sure we'll find some way to fix this."

"Yeah, especially since it'll ruin chances of you getting lucky in the bedroom." Beyond said smiling sickly. It earned him a glare from everyone.

"No, Matt, if this is the price I'll pay for bringing you back to life then I'd rather be a tiny fairy than a half human, half bunny, half cat being. Maybe, you could find someway to make me normal sized every now and then?"

"Yeah, maybe…." Matt said smiling weakly. "No…no…not maybe, definitely!" he said determinedly. "We'll make you normal sized once in Blues Town after all the stuff we need to do is done and we'll find some magic user to make you normal sized. That's a promise Near. We owe you everything."

Mello nodded in agreement along with BB. Near blushed as he tentatively placed a kiss to the tip of Matt's nose. Mello chuckled along with B and they raced ahead. "Last one to Blues Town is a zombie dog!" Beyond called ahead of him. "No way!" Matt laughed.

"Come on!" Mello called. Matt placed Near in one of his jeans pocket and raced after his friends. They finally stopped at noon on a cliff which overlooked one of the most beautiful towns in the world. Blue buildings and waters were seen below and the sun made it all glow eerily. Yet it was beautiful.

They all knew what beautiful really was, though.

Beautiful to Beyond was Mello.

Beautiful to Near was Matt.

Beautiful to Matt was Near.

Beautiful to Mello was Beyond.

They gave each other smiles before departing and agreeing to meet around midnight to find an apartment. Mello hugged Matt and wished Near luck on his testimony. Beyond kissed Mello before running off to finish his unfinished business. Near fluttered weakly and floated close to Mello's face. He kissed the blonde's cheek and wished him luck.

Mello waved to Matt and Near before he disappeared to go pay his debt.

"This is a new beginning Near." Matt said holding the weak little fairy in his hands. "We were in the dark, but not anymore."

"Yes, we all certainly had a dark fairy tale, but…this is our happy ending." Near said smiling happily. "I know I like mine so far." He said fluttering from Matt's hands and landing on a sunflower that was a couple of feet from his redheaded love. Matt smiled wanting to kiss Near, but too afraid he'd hurt the little, white-haired fairy. Near knew what Matt wanted. He could see it from where he sat and was sad that he could not please him.

"Is it really Near?" Matt whispered.

"This is our dark, yet happy ending." Near said quietly staring off into the sunset smiling as two lone tears slid down his milky white cheeks.

~The end~