Figuring It Out
a/n Had this pair stuck in my head today. Probably 'cause I dressed up as an Academy cadet for Halloween. Which was AWESOME, just fyi. *grin*
"Boooooones!"
"Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a breakfast cereal!"
He'd finally figured it out. Since that day he met James Tiberius Kirk on the shuttle ("I may throw up on you." … "You know Star Fleet operates in space."), six years had come and gone. Three years in the Academy, putting up with the crazy kid who was constantly there - distracting and annoying. For two of those years, he had resisted the friendship and protested the nickname "Bones". (Jim always blamed Len, quoting a few more lines from their first meeting.)
"But, Bones-!"
"No, Jim! Don't act like such a child."
Eventually, the comradeship became a balancing factor in Len's life. It was surprising how in tune his friend was to the doctor's feelings, and Jim could always seem to tell when Len was having a bad day. In fact, he was prepared to swear that the idiot purposely got into buckets of trouble on the same days he would get a call from Joyce, canceling Joanna's latest visit. Jim appeared all too aware of the fact that the best way to help Len deal was to keep him busy. (Which really did explain the whole incident with the replicator and the banana cream pie in the Academy cafeteria.)
"Come on, Bones!"
"Not even if Spock put on a strip show in the mess."
"Kinky, Bones."
"Kid, shut. Up."
Then there was the whole Narada incident. Throughout the entire affair, Len could never seem to decide if he was glad he'd helped Jim sneak on (the kid had looked so damn pathetic), or ashamed. Yes, he would probably be dead, along with the entire crew of the Enterprise, and every inhabitant of Vulcan and Earth, if Jimmy hadn't ended up aboard. But having to constantly worry that the narcissistic idiot would get himself killed, or everyone blown up, left the doctor with ulcers.
"Bones, listen, it's not even-"
"Jim, I said no, dammit!"
And when, despite everything he had put them through, that trouble making ass was appointed captain-!
"Why are you always such a grouch, Bonesy?"
"I still have a hypo with the Strydian viral plague, kid."
Another three years of serving as Chief Medical Officer on board the Enterprise, spending days, weeks and months at a time dealing with the ulcers and anxiety that cropped up every time Jim got himself into something. It seemed like the captain was constantly being poisoned or shot or stabbed or tortured or just beaten to a pulp. And it was always, always Bones who ended up treating the idiot, working endlessly to get him back to perfect health. Only to have Jim delivered right back to MedBay, sporting new bruises or sicknesses, within 48 hours (at the most!) of being released.
"Well, what if you just…?"
"Enough, Jim!"
Three years of worry and fear and hope and anger. Three years of every species in the galaxies trying to kill Jim, or marry him. And that was something else entirely. Because when the inhabitants of a planet weren't actively trying to murder the kid, they were angling to get him hitched to the local princess, or head priestess, or high chancellor. And Jimmy had the gall to always refuse, on the grounds that he was in "a serious -and legal- relationship with this Bones guy". Couldn't he use Gaila for his jackass stunts?
"Bones, it's not like it's even-"
"If you say it's not a big deal, kid, so help me-!"
It had reached the point where it wasn't just Scotty and Gaila and Sulu joking about Len and the captain being such a cute couple. He'd heard Uhura and Chekov (Chekov! The little Russian kid, who was terrified of Len's shadow, Chekov!) laughing about it. And, as if that weren't enough, the last time he and Jim had gotten into an argument on the Bridge, Spock had used the phrase "like an old, married couple". (Pointy-eared, green-blooded, hobgoblin bastard.)
"Bones. Bones. Bones. Bones. Bones. Bones. Bones. Bones. Bo-"
"Jim, unless it's a goddamn medical emergency, I will knock you out, captain or not."
"Hah! You can't! I stole all your sedative hypos."
"You do realize I have enough familiarity of anatomy to managed the Vulcan Neck Pinch?"
"Anatomy, eh? I knew you just wanted me for my body! Which I can understand, since it's so absolutely fantastic, and… I'm kidding, Bones! Wait! BONES!"
And it drove Len crazy. All the side-glances from crew members, the snickering in the mess hall, the angry glares from Planetside females, not to mention having to put up with his idiot best friend's endless flirting and innuendo… It was no wonder Len was established as a cranky bastard.
"Can't you just-?"
"Kid, shut the hell up and get out of MedBay!"
Despite all of that, Len was glad Jimmy was his best friend. He'd never known anyone so cocky, outrageous, obnoxious, and utterly, shockingly, courageously selfless.
"Bones?"
"What?"
"Pleeeeease!"
"You wanta stay here? Then go get injured and I'll let you back in! That should be easy enough for you. Go pick a fight with Cupcake, or something, idiot."
Six years. Six years of having Jim right there at his side. Through danger and tedium and depression and peace and life. Six years before he finally figured it out.
"Bones! Why aren't you listening?"
"Jim, I love you, but I'd swear you just show up here to practice being distracting as hell. And one of us is actually trying to do their job. Now, please, kid: Get. Out. Of. My. Damn. MedBay."
"I love you, too, Bones."
It just figured that Scotty would be right about Len and Jim too.
fin.