Summary: it starts with an accidental text and the next thing she knows she's getting to know her best friend's worst enemy via phone.
Warnings: SMUTTY TALK (but no actual sex), angsty themes, and only 1 swear word
A/N: Okay. So. I started writing this a while ago, and then I completely forgot about it. But I recently found it and I just wanted to continue it and now here we are. I have no beta or anything so all mistakes are mine. Set after the 'Bad' showdown with the slushie, but before Rachel says yes to Finn
Disclaimer: I don't own glee.
IMPORTANT:All the texts are on ONE day (a Saturday). And yes, I know it's ridiculous that all the texts are sent in one day, but Sebastian and Rachel are ridiculous people.
Sebastian = italics
Rachel = plain
6:04am: blaine, i'm sorry, alright? i didn't mean to hit you with that slushie, which doesn't make it ok, i know, but i just want you to forgive me. please.
6:07am: I think you have the wrong number, Sebastian.
6:07am: oh sorry
6:08am: wait is this rachel? how do you have my number?
6:09am: How do you have mine?
6:11am: touché.
6:12am: While we're on the subject, why are you texting Blaine? We have the recording of you admitting what you put in that slushie, and we will take it to court if you don't leave him alone.
6:12am: calm down berry, i was just apologizing. if he says to leave him alone i will. i'm not a stalker.
6:13am: All evidence suggests otherwise.
6:14am: and you would know? why are you texting me of all people? or maybe you're just tired of that numbskull you call a boyfriend.
6:15am: I would prefer to not talk about Finn right now.
6:15am: trouble in paradise?
6:17am: You wouldn't understand.
6:17am: so why are you talking to me?
6:18am: I wouldn't call this a conversation. Besides, YOU texted ME first.
6:18am: didn't mean to text you, it's not like i actually wanted to talk to you.
6:19am: Fine, then stop talking to me.
6:19am: no
6:20am: Why ever not?
6:20am: because your attempts at being witty are amusing and i can't do anything today.
6:21am: We're in a similar position.
6:22am: are you hiding from a one night stand too?
6:22am: No! You're revolting.
6:23am: i'm not kidding. i'm hiding in the broom closet in my room because this chick won't wake up already.
6:23am: I thought you were gay.
6:24am: apparently not.
6:24am: if a girl is hot enough, i'll bang her. like that hot latina chick who sang with me.
6:25am: She's gay.
6:26am: i've dealt with problems like that before
6:26am: Stay away from Santana.
6:26am: calm down, berry. she's a bit too angry for me. might get my dick bitten off while she's giving me head.
6:27am: That is a disgusting image.
6:28am: So that's why you're up so early, cause of this girl.
6:28am: internal body clock, that's my excuse. what about you, no normal teenager wakes up before 12 on a saturday.
6:29am: Well, I am not an average teenager.
6:30am: i'm starting to see that.
6:30am: Don't pretend you're normal, Smythe.
6:31am: please, rachel. i'm as normal as it gets for a teenage boy. drinking, banging, being confused about my sexuality. i'm the real deal.
6:31am: So… is it an act?
6:32am: the sexuality thing? who knows? i'm not sure of anything these days
6:32am: You seemed to be pretty sure about Blaine.
6:33am: rachel, i know a loving relationship when i see it. blaine was just a bit of fun. he's into me, but he'll never act on it while lady face is around.
6:35am: I'm glad you can understand that, if you're not lying. But I'm not so sure you can be the judge of a loving relationship when you've never been in one.
6:35am: so 'klaine' isn't a loving relationship?
6:36am: How do you know about that name? And yes, they are. I was simply unaware that you could tell, seeing how you tried repeatedly to break them up.
6:36am: And failed miserably, might I add.
6:37am: jeff and nick told me about the name.
6:37am: as surprising as it might be to you rachel, i have been in a real relationship before.
6:38am: So why are you pretending to not give a crap about feelings and love?
6:38am: who says i'm pretending?
6:39am: I do. Answer the question.
6:41am: because it's easier to get hurt if there are feelings involved
6:42am: You and Santana are eerily alike. With all the insecurity and such.
6:42am: your sensitivity is overwhelming.
6:43am: Don't ask for what you can't give in return.
6:45am: whatev.
6:45am: Don't close up on me.
6:46am: Sebastian.
6:47am: SEBASTIAN.
6:49am: it's not closing up, we barely know eachother
6:50am: Well we've been texting for an hour and I can already tell you're just full of complications. I have nothing better to do. So don't shut me out.
6:52am: i'm not talking about feelings and crap with some total stranger.
6:53am: I'm not a stranger. But fine. What DO you want to talk about?
6:53am: nothing.
6:54am: Come on, Sebastian, I know you're as bored as I am. Pick a subject.
6:54am: you are seriously crazy. who picks the subject that they're going to discuss before they discuss it?
6:56am: People who don't want to get stuck on an awkward an uncomfortable topic! Now pick.
6:56am: i have no idea
6:57am: What's your favorite color, and why?
6:57am: … seriously?
6:58am: Come up with something better then!
6:58am: fine, i'll answer.
6:59am: light blue, because it reminds me of paris in winter.
7:00am: You are very poetic when you want to be, aren't you?
7:00am: whatever, what's yours?
7:01am: It used to be gold, but now it's green.
7:01am: why?
7:02am: Well, I had an obsession with gold stars; therefore gold was my favorite color. But green is a lot softer and natural, it's a color you can sink into, rather than be attacked by.
7:03am: and you said i was poetic.
7:03am: Well, I am an aspiring songwriter.
7:04am: really? what are your songs like?
7:04am: Not a good subject. Let's move on.
7:05am: ok, to what?
7:06am: It's your turn now.
7:06am: fine… what is your favorite food?
7:07am: That's easy, vegan cheesecake. What's yours?
7:08am: bagels. of any sort.
7:08am: Huh, I thought you'd say croissants.
7:09am: because people who've lived in paris can only eat croissants?
7:09am: Of course not. Blaine just mentioned you eating croissants a lot.
7:10am: well blaine shouldn't mention me at all if he's so in love with kurt
7:11am: He didn't bring it up, somebody asked him.
7:13am: … right?
7:14am: So why bagels?
7:15am: seriously rachel? there is no back story here, they just taste nice
7:16am: Actually, I find they're quite bland without toppings or spreads. And you don't have to get so snappy
7:16am: how would you respond if i asked you what your emotional connection to cheesecake was?
7:18am: I didn't ask about emotions, I asked why you liked bagels. And I like vegan cheesecake because it's the only dessert that doesn't make me throw up as soon as it touches my tongue.
7:19am: wow, your life must suck if you can only eat that one dessert. cheesecake is the worst of them all.
7:20am: You're so gullible! I can eat other desserts, I just prefer cheesecake.
7:20am: are you kidding me?! i actually felt sorry for you for a second there
7:21am: Don't get angry because I tricked you into actually expressing emotion.
7:22am: you're a sneaky bitch when you want to be
7:22am: Please, I'm always a bitch.
7:23am: no you're not
7:24am: ?
7:25am: How would you know?
7:26am: people talk about you
7:26am: Most of it probably isn't true.
7:27am: no, they say good things
7:27am: Because that's completely believable.
7:28am: seriously, why does it surprise you that your friends have good things to say about you?
7:29am: Because up until this year, I've never had friends!
7:30am: jeez calm down.
7:33am: I'm sorry Sebastian, I'm just very conflicted at the moment.
7:35am: what did that mean?
7:36am: It meant what you thought it meant. Before now, I've never had friends that actually liked me.
7:36am: that sucks
7:37am: Well, yes.
7:38am: i kind of get it.
7:39am: at my old school in paris, i lost some friends when i told people i liked boys as well as girls. my girlfriend didn't take it too well either.
7:39am: I'm sorry.
7:40am: aren't you gonna ask about the girlfriend?
7:41am: I thought we had agreed not to talk about subjects like that, but I'm happy to talk.
7:41am: i'm not.
7:42am: Thought so.
7:42am: look, i'm just saying. i'm not totally heartless
7:43am: You've already proved that several times this morning.
7:43am: jesus, we've been talking for almost 2 hours. feels so short.
7:44am: Don't look now, Sebastian, but you're having a conversation
7:44am: … over the phone.
7:45am: Still counts, if you ask me.
7:45am: but you're not face to face on a phone.
7:46am: Thus the basis of its appeal.
7:47am: is that a 10 things quote?
7:47am: Yes! Nobody I know has seen it!
7:48am: same.
7:49am: It's a hilarious movie.
7:51am: i'm aware.
7:52am: You don't strike me as the type who would watch 10 Things I Hate About You… or any 90's romantic comedy for that matter.
7:53am: well people can surprise you
7:53am: and 10 things is not a romantic comedy
7:55am: Hah! Beg to differ. If it's not a rom com, what is it?
7:55am: don't know, but classifying it as a 'rom com' brings it down to the level of movies like he's just not that into you, and i refuse to defile the name of a heath ledger movie that way.
7:57am: I knew it was Heath that drew you in.
7:57am: came for the aussie, stayed for the guidance counselor who wrote porn.
7:59am: Please, Mr Morgan all the way.
7:59am: By the way, 'He's Just Not That Into You' isn't such a bad film.
8:01am: as if, it may be the lowest point in scarlett johansson's career.
8:02am: No, I believe that would be her cameo as the sister in Home Alone 3.
8:04am: HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THE HOME ALONE MOVIES.
8:05am: I don't know, they're just too idiotic for me.
8:05am: you're the idiotic one.
8:06am: I'm blown away by your incredible comebacks.
8:07am: like you could do any better
8:07am: If you allowed me more time to think, I would be able to do better.
8:08am: it's text messaging. you can take as much time as you want.
8:10am: I prefer a fast pace when it comes to text messaging.
8:11am: you probably prefer a fast pace when it comes to everything, which explains why you're with finn
8:11am: As soon as I sent that, I knew it was a bad idea.
8:11am: you should know better, miss berry
8:12am: Don't call me 'miss'. I'm not a teacher.
8:12am: if you were, your sex life would be much more interesting
8:13am: Just when I think I can have a normal conversation with you, you say something like that!
8:14am: well, we've now been talking for over two hours. i think we can breach the subject of boyfriends, don't you?
8:14am: I thought you said this doesn't count as talking.
8:15am: then you proved me wrong
8:16am: Fine, but if I say you need to stop, you have to stop.
8:16am: i've broken promises like that before, but don't worry. the outcome is always enjoyable for everyone.
8:17am: You're incorrigible.
8:18am: watch it, you might actually hurt my feelings if you keep using such big words.
8:19am: Didn't you want to ask me about Finn? Or shall we continue bickering?
8:19am: how's the sex?
8:22am: Excuse me?!
8:22am: i'm asking you about finn. how's the sex?
8:23am: Sebastian, I'm not going to tell you about my sex life.
8:23am: come ON berry, live a little!
8:23am: was it at least a bit fun for you?
8:25am: I don't know.
8:25am: what do you mean?
8:26am: I mean, I don't know. How is it supposed to feel?
8:27am: well considering people make such a big deal out of it, you'd think it would feel nice.
8:27am: I suppose.
8:28am: wasn't it nice?
8:28am: Sebastian, I'm not sure I should be talking about this with you.
8:31am: come on rachel. i've proved i'm not a dickhead all the time, you've proved you're not a bitch all the time. texting you is not the most horrible thing i could do with my time, and who else can you talk to about this? lady face can't talk to you, cause it's his brother or step brother or whatever, and you'd be uncomfortable talking about it to anyone else.
8:32am: I'm uncomfortable talking about it to you.
8:32am: no you're not.
8:33am: Fine, I'm not.
8:33am: then lets talk.
8:36am: come on, rachel.
8:38am: i'll show blaine and lady face all these texts
8:40am: That's blackmail!
8:40am: well it got you to talk to me, didn't it? now answer the question.
8:41am: did you enjoy it?
8:42am: well come on, did you?
8:44am: No! The whole time I was thinking about the fact that he had done it with Santana first, and how he saw fireworks when he kissed Quinn but not me, and how I was losing my virginity to somebody that couldn't even remember that I was a vegan.
8:45am: so you were distracted? that's why it was bad?
8:46am: He was very self involved and didn't realize that I wasn't enjoying it. Is that what you want to hear?
8:46am: nobody, no matter how obnoxious they can be, should have a crappy first time. if you can't find one thing enjoyable about it, then it was obviously crappy.
8:47am: Alright, then my first time was crappy.
8:47am: well im sorry. at least it's not going to be him for the rest of your life, right?
8:48am: See, I don't know about that.
8:49am: what?
8:50am: Well, it might be him.
8:51am: you can't possibly mean that you're willing to spend the rest of your life with him.
8:52am: He proposed.
8:52am: you said no
8:53am: right?
8:54am: I haven't given him an answer yet.
8:57am: please tell me you're going to say no.
8:58am: I'm very confused.
9:01am: you are in no way mature enough to get married!
9:02am: You don't even know me!
9:04am: yes i do. and you know i'm right.
9:05am: when are you going to give your answer?
9:07am: I don't exactly have an answer.
9:07am: you said it might be him for the rest of your life
9:08am: 'Might' being the key word.
9:09am: i'm sensing we need a topic change
9:09am: You must be psychic.
9:09am: one more question
9:10am: are you and him on a break?
9:11am: I suppose we are.
9:11am: good.
9:12am: Why?
9:13am: blaine won't kill me if i end up sleeping with you
9:13am: Sebastian! I cannot believe you would tell Blaine if that occurred!
9:14am: rachel… i was kind of joking. but i would not think twice if you were okay with it
9:15am: Well, I'm not.
9:16am: don't you want to know what sex with a real man is like
9:16am: You are not a real man.
9:17am: because i'm bi-curious?
9:17am: Because you're an asshole
9:18am: so's your boyfriend
9:23am: No, he's just a bit untactful sometimes.
9:24am: fine why don't you just go marry him
9:24am: see what i did there?
9:25am: You're incredibly witty and hilarious.
9:26am: took you long enough to realize
9:26am: Just how big does your ego have to be before it explodes?
9:27am: baby my ego isn't half as big as my… well, you know
9:27am: You're disgusting!
9:28am: for your information, i was going to say my ego isn't half as big as my heart. YOU filled in the blanks with disgusting stuff.
9:28am: Oh yes, I'm sure that was exactly what you were going to say.
9:30am: it's very fun messing with you
9:31am: It's not like you have anything better to do, you're stuck in a closet.
9:31am: oh the girl in my bed left half an hour ago, i'm down by the lake with the warblers. i just enjoy messing with you.
9:32am: You are an awful human being, you know that?
9:33am: aw, come on, haven't i already proved that i have a heart of gold?
9:33am: Gold? More like crappy plastic.
9:34am: ooh that one hit me right in my ego
9:36am: I hope it hurt.
9:36am: it's used to being bruised.
9:36am: Why are we back on the subject of your ego
9:38am: ?
9:40am: because my ego likes being talked about. duh
9:41am: This conversation is going nowhere.
9:42am: and yet we can't bear to end it
9:42am: Well, I have nothing better to do. What's your excuse?
9:43am: told you before, you're easy to mess with and it's fun to see just how bad your insults can get
9:43am: Can't be worse than your flirting.
9:44am: do you know how many people i've entranced in just a few seconds?
9:44am: That depends, how much chloroform do you have?
9:45am: who wants to bang someone who's asleep? no fun at all
9:46am: Well, you're Sebastian Smythe. I'm sure you'd find a way.
9:46am: you're sure, are you?
9:48am: Relatively sure.
9:49am: you're impossible
9:50am: Aha! Alert the media, Sebastian Smythe has found an impossible conquest.
9:51am: because you'd be so good at flirting with me, wouldn't you rachel?
9:51am: You doubt my abilities?
9:51am: yes
9:52am: I bet I could seduce you faster than you can seduce me.
9:52am: is that an offer?
9:54am: No, it was simply a bet.
9:55am: i'd be willing to take you up on a bet like that
9:55am: Tell me, Sebastian, why are you so 'interested' in me all of a sudden?
9:56am: why wouldn't I be?
9:58am: Because you're gay.
9:59am: bisexual
9:59am: You like Blaine.
10:00am: he's with kurt
10:00am: That didn't stop you before.
10:01am: obviously it did
10:04am: run out of excuses already rachel?
10:04am: I'm not making excuses, I'm simply halting your advances on me. I have a boyfriend.
10:05am: you're on a break
10:05am: That doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with some stranger.
10:06am: didn't you tell me before we're not strangers?
10:06am: Alright, let me rephrase.
10:07am: I'm not going to sleep with ANYONE.
10:07am: not even your boyfriend?
10:08am: We're on a break.
10:08am: then sleep with someone else
10:08am: it's pretty simple
10:09am: I don't want to sleep with anyone else.
10:11am: but you need to
10:11am: Not exactly.
10:12am: what does that mean?
10:15am: ?
10:16am: It means, unlike some people, I can control my sexual urges.
10:16am: so you have urges
10:17am: Of course I do.
10:18am: tell me
10:18am: You already know about my sex life. Isn't it my turn to find out about yours?
10:18am: what do you want to know?
10:19am: Do your one night stands ever mean anything to you?
10:19am: that question isn't about sex, it's about feelings
10:20am: Just answer.
10:20am: it depends if i know them
10:20am: which I try not to.
10:21am: ?
10:22am: if I'm really good friends with somebody, I wouldn't want to hook up with them because it'd ruin our friendship
10:22am: unless they're really hot.
10:23am: Has it ever occurred to you that there's more to people than looks?
10:23am: of course but there's nothing else to care about when it's a one night stand. looks are what its all about
10:24am: Oh.
10:25am: I don't understand how you can do it.
10:25am: i have great stamina
10:26am: Ugh, no! I mean, have sex with people and just forget about them a few days later.
10:26am: it's not really that hard
10:26am: I'm sure you've heard that before.
10:27am: ?
10:31am: oh good god rachel berry just made a sex joke
10:31am: Took you long enough to realize. What's the point in me loosening up if you don't understand me when I make a joke?
10:31am: that was hilarious
10:33am: Alright there Sebastian?
10:33am: I'll recover… eventually.
10:34am: It wasn't that funny.
10:34am: believe me, coming from you it was extremely funny
10:35am: It's not like I never make jokes.
10:35am: have you ever made a sex joke to anyone else?
10:36am: Well, no.
10:37am: then I'm special
10:37am: If by 'special' you mean mentally damaged, then yes, you are very special.
10:38am: so your turn is nearly over and all you've asked me about is emotions
10:39am: isn't there anything else you want to ask?
10:40am: No.
10:41am: come on, there has to be something
10:41am: It's embarrassing.
10:42am: well we are sharing a lot today, I doubt it'll be that bad
10:42am: You have to promise to delete this text after you've answered.
10:43am: now I'm a little worried
10:43am: Promise.
10:44am: ok ok, I promise
10:46am: When Finn and I had sex, there was something we didn't do.
10:46am: which was…?
10:47am: I didn't do that thing that most girls or guys to do other guys.
10:47am: that doesn't narrow it down
10:48am: We didn't have oral sex.
10:49am: He asked me to but I said I didn't feel ready.
10:49am: did he get annoyed
10:50am: No! No, of course not. It's just, there was a reason I wasn't ready.
10:51am: which was…?
10:54am: A few years ago, I discovered something to do with my body. My mouth, to be exact.
10:55am: would it make a difference to the way you sucked him off?
10:55am: I'm not sure, I just didn't want to take any chances.
10:56am: so what is it?
10:58am: I have no gag reflex.
10:58am: what
10:59am: are you joking
11:01am: No, is that weird?
11:01am: um
11:02am: not in a bad way
11:02am: ?
11:04am: What do you mean by that?
11:05am: rachel, a LOT of guys fantasize about being blown by a girl with no gag reflex but not many girls are capable of it
11:06am: So… it's good? I should've done it to Finn?
11:06am: NO.
11:07am: finn is a douche and does not deserve to experience that
11:07am: What, and you do?
11:08am: hell yes
11:08am: I don't even understand what you mean! Why is it so nice?
11:09am: if i start explaining that, this conversation could go down a very interesting road... is that want you want
11:10am: Let's move on.
11:10am: ah yes it's my turn now
11:11am: i have quite a few questions
11:11am: Sebastian…
11:12am: say my name babe
11:12am: Don't 'babe' me.
11:13am: relax berry i'm joking
11:13am: Don't 'Berry' me either.
11:14am: okay what can i call you then?
11:14am: Rachel would be nice.
11:14am: nah that's boring you need a nickname
11:15am: Oh dear god.
11:16am: do you not trust me to give you a nickname?
11:16am: Why should I trust you with such an important task?
11:18am: because you just should
11:18am: This is a mistake… but fine.
11:18am: see i knew you'd cave eventually
11:19am: Just nickname me already.
11:19am: the process takes time
11:20am: Then hurry the process along.
11:24am: okay, i've decided
11:24am: katarina. kat for short.
11:25am: ?
11:27am: kat stratford, cause you don't give a crap what everyone else thinks (mostly) and you're all feminist and you actually have enough ambition and talent to have a good future.
11:29am: You are so strange. It baffles my mind.
11:30am: so you like the nickname?
11:31am: Surprisingly… yes.
11:31am: it's good to trust people once in a while.
11:32am: I do trust people… just normally not people like you.
11:33am: do you trust santana?
11:33am: Kind of. Why?
11:35am: you were commenting on our similarities earlier, and if you really believe we're alike, then trusting one could mean trusting the other
11:36am: That was a very Rachel Berry text.
11:36am: did i imitate you well, kat?
11:37am: Yes, I believe you did. Well, I trust you and Santana, and now I have a unique nickname. But you do not!
11:37am: oh god
11:38am: i don't need a nickname
11:40am: Yes, you do. If I'm Kat, does that make you Joey?
11:41am: ugh please, i think i'm a bit classier than that jerk off.
11:42am: … But are you, really?
11:42am: if i'm anyone from 10 things, i'm patrick
11:43am: Pat for short?
11:44am: nope just patrick
11:46am: But you know how things end for Kat and Patrick.
11:47am: last time i checked this isn't a romantic comedy, Katarina
11:47am: Aha! You admit that 10 Things is a rom com!
11:48am: delete that text now
11:50am: Did you delete my earlier text about oral sex?
11:51am: maybe…
11:52am: Exactly. So, no, I will not delete that text. I'm too busy basking in the glory.
11:52am: it's not like you won a medal kat
11:53am: I proved you wrong, I may as well have won a medal.
11:55am: you are so strange. it baffles my mind.
11:56am: And now you're quoting me!
11:58am: this is a day of joy for rachel berry
11:59am: And for Katarina Stratford.
12:00pm: why are you always so quick to reply, kat?
12:06pm: I don't know what you're talking about.
12:07pm: that was only five minutes later than you would usually reply, i wasn't exactly about to alert the media.
12:07pm: answer the question
12:09pm: I'm quick to reply if my fellow texters give me something worthwhile to reply to.
12:10pm: so my texts are something worthwhile to reply to?
12:11pm: On occasion.
12:11pm: what do you mean on occasion you reply quickly to every single one
12:12pm: Well, you quoted me.
12:14pm: touché kitty kat
12:14pm: Where did Kitty Kat come from?
12:15pm: you haven't called me patrick in the past ten minutes so i punished you with kitty kat
12:16pm: Joke's on you, because I think Kitty Kat is cute.
12:16pm: of course
12:17pm: See what I mean? How can I not reply to your texts when it's so easy to smack you down like the hand of God?
12:17pm: that sounded a bit like something i would say
12:18pm: Maybe we're in our own personal 'Freaky Friday'
12:18pm: it's saturday
12:20pm: Freaky things happen on Saturdays too, Patrick!
12:21pm: finally you use the nickname! took you long enough
12:22pm: What makes you so sure that you're a Patrick anyway? You don't smoke, you don't wear leather, you're not badass, your hair is short.
12:23pm: please katarina, i'm the baddest ass in town. and how do you know all that other stuff?
12:26pm: Blaine.
12:27pm: and why did he tell you this
12:27pm: Someone asked him.
12:30pm: the same person as before, I assume... and if i were to ask him who was inquiring about me so frequently…
12:31pm: He wouldn't reply, because he and Kurt are still annoyed at you. Also, that was another very 'Rachel Berry' text, Patrick.
12:32pm: lame way to try and change the conversation, katarina, and what if blaine has forgiven me?
12:33pm: Why do you want to know who's been asking these questions anyway?
12:34pm: because i want to know if it's somebody i'm interested in
12:34pm: Like who, Santana?
12:35pm: why assume i mean santana
12:37pm: You called her a 'hot latina chick'.
12:37pm: which means i'm interested in her…?
12:38pm: Well who else would you be interested in? Kurt?
12:39pm: do i detect bitterness? i was joking about santana, i'd never really sleep with her
12:40pm: No, you do not detect bitterness, and frankly I don't give a damn who you sleep with, as long as you don't broadcast the details to me through text.
12:40pm: well you were happy to broadcast the details about your sex life
12:41am: Because you asked me to! What is wrong with you? The second somebody gets close to you, you shut them out!
12:42pm: what makes you think you're close to me?
12:42pm: God, I don't even know.
12:44pm: rachel i'm sorry that was stupid
12:46pm: i asked you about finn, it wasn't your fault
12:48pm: rachel please
12:50pm: come on, holding a grudge over the phone is stupid
12:53pm: please just reply already!
12:55pm: Why would you want me to reply?
12:55pm: so we can keep talking
12:56pm: Why do you want to talk to me?
12:56pm: because i do
12:57pm: Answer the question properly.
12:59pm: because i like talking to you.
1:01pm: You do?
1:01pm: yes i do now can we move on
1:03pm: No, I'm basking in the glory again.
1:04pm: you seem to do that a lot.
1:04pm: Twice is not a lot, Patrick.
1:05pm: when it comes to you, it is, kat.
1:06pm: I think that those last two texts could be perceived as a sexual joke.
1:06pm: holy crap now I'M basking in the glory
1:07pm: Why?
1:07pm: you just made a normal sentence dirty
1:08pm: for the second time in one day
1:08pm: i am literally rofling
1:09pm: Come on, nobody 'ROFLs' in real life.
1:10pm: better believe it
1:10pm: I thought you were outside at the lake.
1:11pm: i am and i'm getting my blazer dirty because of you kat
1:11pm: you will pay.
1:13pm: I'm sure I will.
1:14pm: literally though you'll pay for my dry cleaning bill
1:14pm: Never! I didn't ask you to ROFL, Patrick.
1:15pm: you are the cause of my rofling though
1:15pm: We need to stop saying that word.
1:16pm: agreed kitty kat
1:17pm: You're calling me 'Kitty Kat' a lot.
1:17pm: aha! i knew it annoyed you
1:18pm: and 'twice is not a lot', kat
1:19pm: I never said it annoyed me…
1:19pm: Should I be worried about the amount of times you've quoted me in the past hour and a half?
1:20pm: what… two?
1:22pm: Precisely, Patrick.
1:23pm: Just by the way, you reply quickly as well.
1:24pm: never said i didn't
1:24pm: Why did you ask me about my quick replies earlier, then?
1:25pm: just curious
1:26pm: so who was asking blaine those questions
1:28pm: I forget.
1:29pm: of course
1:30pm: Can I ask you a question, Sebastian?
1:31pm: will you listen if i say no?
1:32pm: Technically I can't listen over text, but even if I could… no.
1:34pm: fine ask me
1:34pm: Do you recall telling Julian, your fellow warbler, that if Blaine continued being difficult, 'I wouldn't mind getting a piece of that Berry chick'?
1:35pm: i do recall telling julian that
1:35pm: know why i told him that, kat?
1:36pm: Because you are vulgar, disgusting, and ready to bang anything that moves?
1:37pm: ouch
1:37pm: words hurt you know
1:39pm: I'm sure I've injured you beyond repair, Patrick.
1:40pm: you really have
1:41pm: So, why did you tell Julian that?
1:41pm: because you are indescribably hot and if i didn't know better I'd be over at your house right now seducing you
1:44pm: You think I'm hot?
1:44pm: know so
1:45pm: And you're not ashamed to say so?
1:46pm: why would i be ashamed?
1:46pm: In my experience, boys who think I'm attractive keep it between me and them.
1:47pm: even finn?
1:48pm: He's a lot better this year, but he used to.
1:48pm: jesus christ how much is it going to take you to break up with him
1:49pm: Pardon me?
1:50pm: can't you see how wrong he is for you?
1:50pm: Finn and I have had our ups and downs, but we've overcome it all. I love him.
1:51pm: but you don't want to marry him
1:51pm: He wants me to marry him.
1:52pm: it's not about what he wants, it's about what you feel
1:53pm: you have to be selfish with a choice like this
1:54pm: I've spent my whole life being selfish.
1:58pm: that can't be true
1:58pm: Ask anyone in New Directions, they'll tell you.
1:59pm: screw new directions
2:06pm: blaine's told me all about your choir group. he's told me about how they treat you, how they complain that you get all the solos even though its your solos that win them the competitions. how they think of you as nothing but walking talent. i'm a prick and even i know that you are much more than that. blaine told me how he thinks its unfair but even kurt, your best friend turns into your enemy if he thinks you don't deserve something let me tell you, rachel, you deserve every award on the planet for putting up with those ungrateful bastards for three years because i couldn't do it for a day.
2:08pm: Thank you Sebastian. I needed that.
2:09pm: no problem.
2:09pm: i went a bit crazy with that rant
2:10pm: You were proving a point. I rant if I need to prove a point.
2:12pm: You're not a prick, Sebastian. You're a decent person who's made some mistakes, and I'm sorry that I judged you so quickly. I was simply siding with my friends because you were trying to break up Kurt and Blaine.
2:14pm: this feels really sappy kat
2:15pm: I agree, Patrick, we should start talking about something funny. I have to make a big decision today and comedy is the only way I'm going to get in the right mindset.
2:17pm: this decision would be…
2:18pm: You know what it is.
2:18pm: yeah
2:19pm: well it sucks that you have to make that decision by today
2:20pm: Finn hasn't asked for an answer officially, but I need to make up my mind.
2:20pm: what will he do if you say no
2:21pm: I have no idea. What would you do?
2:22pm: i can't imagine myself in that situation
2:23pm: Neither can I, Patrick.
2:25pm: ?
2:25pm: I can't imagine you in that situation.
2:27pm: oh right
2:28pm: i want to get married
2:28pm: someday
2:29pm: Really? I always wanted to focus more on my career.
2:29pm: i thought if i met the right person… getting married would be nice
2:30pm: This doesn't sound like you.
2:31pm: what, i cant have layers, kat?
2:31pm: Of course you can, Patrick… I'm guessing you also do well on standardized tests.
2:32pm: you caught the buffy reference then
2:32pm: Seems like we watch all the same shows.
2:34pm: oh dear god
2:34pm: What?
2:38pm: What?!
2:39pm: i have the same taste in television as rachel berry
2:40pm: I bet you don't like Broadway musicals.
2:41pm: actually kat i'm quite partial to 'Singing in the Rain'
2:42pm: wait youre going to use that against me
2:44pm: I would never do anything of the sort…
2:45pm: ;)
2:47pm: for some reason i'm having trouble believing you
2:48pm: Do you not trust me, Sebastian Smythe?
2:49pm: have you ever given me reason to trust you?
2:50pm: How about the fact that we've been talking for eight hours and forty six minutes?
2:51pm: you kept track?
2:51pm: Bad subject change, Patrick. You're slipping.
2:52pm: You have complete reason to trust me.
2:52pm: do you trust me kat?
2:53pm: Somewhat.
2:54pm: hmm
2:56pm: Why the 'hmm'?
2:57pm: because i trust you
2:59pm: You mentioned that, Patrick.
3:00pm: so what do you mean by 'somewhat'
3:02pm: I mean what the word implies.
3:03pm: Why?
3:05pm: well kat i trust you and you say you kind of trust me. feels like a bit of a gyp.
3:05pm: Gyp is an offensive term.
3:06pm: excuse me, then.
3:06pm: In response to your question, I like to think I'm an easy person to trust.
3:08pm: ...
3:10pm: Okay, maybe I'm not such an easy person to trust. But you are less worthy of trust.
3:11pm: how?!
3:12pm: Well, this whole debacle with Kurt and Blaine hasn't really shone a great light on you.
3:12pm: you're going to judge whether i can be trusted based on one series of events that ive apologized for profusely?
3:14pm: Point taken.
3:15pm: Seriously, though, Patrick, quit stealing my lingo.
3:17pm: shouldnt you just be glad that youre rubbing off on me?
3:17pm: thats what she said
3:19pm: Ha, ha.
3:21pm: you were thinking it
3:22pm: kat if you make a white chicks reference i swear to god
3:24pm: Patrick. Relax. That movie isn't so bad.
3:25pm: my old roommate constantly quoted it and watched it like once a week
3:25pm: Sounds like it would get old very fast.
3:27pm: eventually not even the screwing could save our friendship
3:30pm: You made love to your roommate?
3:31pm: i wouldnt call it making love but yeah
3:31pm: i bang pretty much every roommate i have
3:33pm: Doesn't that ever prove to be problematic?
3:34pm: not unless we get caught
3:35pm: Just how many people have you had relations with?!
3:37pm: Patrick?
3:39pm: Sebastian?
3:40pm: Sebastian!
3:42pm: sorry i was counting
3:45pm: Are you bad with numbers?
3:46pm: no i just had a hard time remembering everyone
3:48pm: Oh my... this is going to be interesting.
3:48pm: youre very right kat
3:49pm: Wouldn't be the first time, Patrick.
3:50pm: dont get cocky. thats my thing
3:51pm: Yeah, well, my thing is long sentences and five-dollar words, but that didn't stop you from making it your thing.
3:51pm: you know i only do it to annoy you kat
3:52pm: Come on, tell me all about your conquests.
3:54pm: no youll judge me
3:55pm: Why do you care if I judge you?
3:57pm: Okay, fine, I won't judge you. This is a judgement free zone.
3:59pm: okay so my first time was with that girlfriend i mentioned before, that was when i was 14
4:00pm: You were 14?! Seriously?!
4:01pm: you said this was a judgement free zone
4:01pm: Sorry, sorry, go ahead.
4:03pm: okay so after she dumped me because she found out i was bi, i was really pissed, so i slept with two of her best friends
4:04pm: Remind me never to piss you off, Patrick.
4:05pm: you really think that would stop you?
4:08pm: Another point taken.
4:09pm: then i slept with my first dude the week after i turned 15 and it kind of changed the whole game
4:12pm: i had been attracted to guys before but this was a whole new thing, so i kind of went a bit crazy. i slept with like 11 guys in the space of a couple of weeks, and then i had an std scare, which turned out to be negative, but it kind of scared me off sex for a while
4:13pm: but then we moved to america and i started at dalton.
4:15pm: since then it's been about 6 guys and 3 chicks. and then there's the one from yesterday night, who was the first person ive slept with in like four months, which is weird for me
4:17pm: So that's 25 people since you were 14.
4:19pm: that is correct kitty kat
4:20pm: Patrick, it's a miracle you're still STD/STI free.
4:21pm: i can practically hear the disapproving tone echoing in my ears
4:21pm: how about you?
4:23pm: Well, as you know, Finn is the only sexual partner I've had. Apart from that, I had a brief relationship with a footballer, Noah, who I'm now very good friends with, and a longer relationship with Jesse St James, who I'm sure you've heard of.
4:24pm: ive heard hes a dickhead. so youve only dated guys? your whole life?
4:25pm: Well... yes. He is a bit of a dickhead. And not that it matters, but my first kiss was with a girl called Brittany when I was 14.
4:26pm: ha! now whos bisexual, kat?
4:28pm: My dads brought me up with the firm belief that you fall in love with a person, not a gender, Patrick.
4:2pm: oh yeah blaine told me your parents are gay
4:27pm: mustve been difficult growing up that way
4:27pm: Excuse me?
4:29pm: correct me if im wrong but lima ohio doesnt seem like a very diverse or accepting place
4:31pm: You're not wrong.
4:34pm: Sorry, I'm just used to defending my family. I did get a bit of crap for having two dads in middle school, but people focused on other things in high school.
4:35pm: like what
4:39pm: Like my appearance, specifically my nose, or my high maintenance attitude, or my dedication to learning, or the way I dressed, or the way I sat down, or anything they could think of.
4:41pm: people are idiots
4:42pm: That should be McKinley's motto.
4:44pm: well it sucks that they did that. does it still happen?
4:45pm: Not as much, but there are still slushies sometimes.
4:46pm: slushies?
4:50pm: Jocks, cheerleaders, and whoever happens to be at the top of the food chain like to remind us of our place, which is on the ground, by throwing cold, flavored beverages into our faces. It's something of a ritual at McKinley.
4:51pm: does this happen to everyone? or just you?
4:54pm: It used to happen to glee, the math club, the marching band, or anyone stupid enough to show everyone they were different. But lately it's been happening to me more than it's been happening to anyone else.
4:54pm: isnt this the kind of thing you should complain about to your principal?
4:59pm: It's public school in Lima, Ohio. The principal is more concerned about the asbestos or the increasing number of smashed beakers in the science lab than the wellbeing of his students.
5:02pm: jesus, why do you even go there?
5:09pm: Well, though both my parents work full time, and are consequently away a lot, we don't have the endless pit of money that people assume we have. I went to a very good preschool and an even better elementary school, as well as taking lessons in tap, jazz, ballet, and hip-hop, learning piano, violin and guitar, doing theatre and drama classes, and I've had singing lessons and vocal training since I was three. If you put that on top of learning French, Spanish and Mandarin, and out of school tutoring, you get an incredibly talented child, and a bill that stretches down the stairs. From a very young age I knew that for middle school and high school, I would just have to live through public school. This means the budget is a lot less tight and I am free to continue most of these lessons.
5:13pm: wow.
5:13pm: um.
5:14pm: im starting to get why youre so competitive. it doesnt sound like you ever had time to be a normal kid.
5:16pm: I appreciate the upbringing I've had. Even if it means my dads aren't always around nowadays, I have no regrets as to how my childhood has gone.
5:17pm: so theyre always away?
5:19pm: Not always, but they spend a good amount of their time flying around the country for meetings and conferences and whatnot. Daddy is a lawyer and Dad is the vice president of a moist toilette company.
5:18pm: moist toilettes? huh
5:19pm: Yeah, I always thought it was a bit weird.
5:19pm: so what expensive college is so important that you have to sacrifice the second half of your education to save up for it
5:22pm: NYADA.
5:26pm: ... oh you have got to be kidding me.
5:27pm: Do you have a problem with the most prestigious musical theatre schools in New York?
5:29pm: not at all
5:30pm: actually im applying for it
5:30pm: What?!
5:31pm: yeah that was my reaction too
5:34pm: Wow... I wasn't expecting this.
5:35pm: me neither
5:36pm: have you auditioned yet?
5:39pm: Yes.
5:40pm: ... so... how did it go
5:43pm: Not very well. I kind of... choked.
5:44pm: that sucks
5:45pm: Yes. It really does. But I've also applied for Julliard, and rumor has it that Carmen Tibideuax is going to be attending Nationals, so hopefully I will have a chance to redeem myself.
5:45pm: and if you dont
5:46pm: Julliard. Of course, they don't have a musical theatre program, but I'm sure there's something for me there.
5:48pm: so this is it for you? all you want to do is theatre and music?
5:49pm: Well, you may not give a crap about your future, Patrick, but I've been planning this since I could walk. It's my dream and I will never give up on it. Ever.
5:51pm: you know kat i do have a couple of things planned for the future
5:52pm: I never said you didn't.
5:52pm: you implied it
5:52pm: Prove me wrong, then.
5:55pm: didnt i just do that? i told you im applying for nyada
5:56pm: When's your audition?
5:57pm: next week
5:57pm: What if you don't get in?
5:58pm: nyu
6:00pm: What will you study at NYU?
6:00pm: kat whats with the bombardment of questions
6:01pm: Well, you won't tell me your plans by yourself. I have to push you along.
6:08pm: if i dont get into nyada ill study drama at nyu. ill stay in college as long as i need to and start at the bottom of the acting ladder but i have some friends who are a bit higher up in the business in new york so maybe theyll give me a leg up. maybe they wont. hopefully thatll work out for me but if it doesnt ill work for my dads law firm which will probably be hell but itll pay pretty well and hes been on my back about what im going to do with my future and about how acting isnt a real career. whatever happens at some point i want to be able to settle down and move back to paris. maybe even start a family.
6:09pm: THAT is what i have planned. no i havent been planning it since i was three but it has backups and connections and it might very well work out. is that enough for you?
6:13pm: Okay, I shouldn't have said that before. Obviously you have a lot planned out.
6:14pm: seems like it
6:16pm: What got you into acting?
6:19pm: my mother used to do it. she would always take me to the studio and everyone knew me and sometimes i would be an extra in the movies she was in
6:18pm: shes kind of a big deal in paris
6:20pm: That's nice :) does your mother still act?
6:23pm: she died when i was 16
6:29pm: I'm so sorry.
6:30pm: its fine. im over it.
6:31pm: But it must've happened only a couple of years ago.
6:33pm: yeah its why we moved to america
6:36pm: dad wont ever go back to france because it reminds him too much of her. he kind of threw himself into work after she died and he wants me to do the same. he doesnt want me to act because he just wants to pretend she never existed and he cant do that if im in the same career as her because people will remember me as her son.
6:38pm: Sebastian, I am so sorry. But you should chase your dreams. Screw your father, his life is his and yours belongs to you.
6:39pm: yeah i know. its just hard sometimes. im really not upset about it anymore. i just want her to be remembered. not by the public but by dad.
6:41pm: Well, I wish you luck with that.
6:42pm: I don't mean to ruin the moment but this feels kind of like The Breakfast Club.
6:42pm: haha
6:43pm: well except for the fact that we're talking over text
6:44pm: And there are two of us, not five.
6:45pm: yeah that was a pretty bad comparison
6:45pm: Yeah, sorry.
6:57pm: so have you made up your mind about the finn thing yet
6:59pm: Actually, talking to you has made it all a bit clearer. I've been dreaming about this and working towards this for my whole life, and if I marry him, it's going to mess up all my plans.
7:01pm: so youre going to say no
7:02pm: I am going to decline his offer. I don't know what will happen to our relationship, but I just hope that we can remain friends.
7:02pm: ahah like thats gonna happen
7:03pm: What's so funny?
7:04pm: once a guy has seen you naked there is no going back to being friends
7:06pm: I would hope our friendship is stronger than that.
7:06pm: doesnt matter how strong your friendship is
7:07pm: Well, I personally think I could overcome it!
7:09pm: okay are you saying that if we did it we would stay friends
7:09pm: Not that we would ever 'do it'... but yes, we would stay friends. I think our friendship is pretty solid, even if it's only been formed today.
7:13pm: so you could look at me and not immediately think about what it felt like to be filled by my cock
7:13pm: Sebastian! What the hell!
7:15pm: answer the question kat
7:16pm: would you be able to carry on normal conversations with me while ignoring the memory of your voice going hoarse from screaming my name?
7:18pm: I'm sure I would be able to forget that. Please stop saying these things, we were having a nice conversation.
7:20pm: think about it rachel. just imagine what it would be like if we did those things and then pretended there was no spark there for the sake of our friendship. would you be able to forget it?
7:23pm: It depends on what things we would be doing.
7:24pm: would you like me to specify those things?
7:31pm: Okay.
7:33pm: maybe its late one night. maybe we were hanging out at dalton in my room because my roommate was out. maybe we watched some movies and talked for hours and you were just planning on sleeping in my room because its really late. maybe we start arguing about something after the last movie ends/ not just something small but something that really made us both angry.
7:34pm: maybe theres some electricity sparking between us
7:36pm: maybe we get real close while we yell and eventually we come to a pause and we both realize how close we are and maybe we start kissing
7:37pm: What kind of kiss?
7:38pm: a crazy kiss. the kind of kiss where both of us are fighting for air and for power and then suddenly our hands are all over each other
7:40pm: Where are your hands?
7:43pm: cupping your ass. running through your hair. lifting up one of your legs so it wraps around me. where are your hands?
7:46pm: They're fisting at your shirt and pulling your hair. They're wrapping around your shoulders so I can lift my other leg and wrap it around you.
7:48pm: i hold you close to me and stagger over to a wall. i have you pushed against it. your legs are still around me. i start tugging at your shirt.
7:49pm: I lift my arms so you can take it off.
7:51pm: the shirt is on the floor. what color is your bra?
7:53pm: Dark red. Clasp at the front. I pull at your shirt so hard it rips a little.
7:56pm: i stop the kiss and look into your eyes. your chest is heaving against mine. i liked that shirt. might have to punish you for ripping it.
7:57pm: I smile deviously and pull off the rest of your shirt.
7:59pm: i lean in and take your bottom lip between my teeth. i bite down on it softly, then a bit harder, then softly again.
8:03pm: My hands start tugging at your belt, desperately trying to get rid of the material between my skin and yours.
8:05pm: i let your legs leave my waist so you can stand. i watch you pull down my pants and then make quick work of your shorts.
8:06pm: I'm wearing shorts?
8:09pm: yes. very short shorts. you have incredible legs.
8:10pm: I thought you were punishing me.
8:13pm: oh i still am. i still have your lip between my teeth so i let go. i undo the clasp of your bra and take it off. i get on my knees and grab your arms. i pin them to the wall behind you and plant a kiss on your stomach. i start trailing kisses all over your abdomen and then I stop and pull you down to your knees so we are face to face again
8:15pm: Are you still pinning my arms back?
8:18pm: yes. i take your hands and pin them above your head now. then i lean in and kiss and suck on your neck. but only lightly. never hard enough to give you what you want.
8:21pm: Seb, you're killing me. I say I'll buy you a new shirt.
8:22pm: i tell you it's too late.
8:22pm: I whimper.
8:24pm: i move my mouth towards your breasts very slowly. trailing kisses. using my tongue and teeth and lips.
8:26pm: I wrench my hands free and use them to hold your head closer to my breasts.
8:28pm: i growl and grab your hands, putting them back at your sides and then grabbing your waist to hold you in place.
8:30pm: My hand starts trailing up your leg. Along your knee, your upper thigh, and moving dangerously close to the hem of your underwear.
8:32pm: Hold that thought, I just heard someone's voice in the house. I'll be right back.
8:33pm: dont worry im holding onto that thought pretty tight
8:40pm: kat i liked where that was going dont hold out on me
8:44pm: was it too weird for you?
8:52pm: rachel are you okay? im sorry i didnt mean for it to go that far
8:58pm: rachel
9:04pm: oh god did something happen
9:06pm: are you okay
9:10pm: im going to call you
9:14pm: please pick up
9:25pm: rachel
9:31pm: okay maybe im just being too clingy or something
9:33pm: ill leave you alone unless you want to text me obviously then we can keep talking
9:35pm: we dont have to keep talking the way we were
9:37pm: sorry ill shut up now
9:57pm: rachel youre freaking me out did something happen
10:13pm: text me as soon as you get this, please. i would drive over but thad borrowed my car and hes not back yet.
10:30pm: Sebastian I'm so sorry, I'm back, please calm down, I didn't mean to freak you out. I'm so sorry.
10:30pm: rachel! thank god! what happened?
10:33pm: It was Finn, in the house. He said he wanted to talk about stuff, and it was all a bit weird, him coming over so late night without calling or texting. I said I'd be right back, I just went into the kitchen to make some coffee, and when I got back, he was holding my phone and reading our texts. The recent ones. I told him we were on a break and I was free to do as I pleased, and that he had been flirting non-stop with the cheerios but he didn't want to hear it.
10:35pm: jesus. are you okay? has he left?
10:36pm: He's gone now... he just got angry. I had to call a couple of people.
10:36pm: what the fuck did he do
10:38pm: Really, you haven't sworn all day, and you tarnish your good record for this?
10:38pm: dont change the subject, what happened
10:42pm: He just got really angry, and I think he had been drinking a bit because of all the fighting that was going on, and he started threatening me, and I asked him to leave but he wouldn't, so I took the phone off him and texted Santana and Noah and told them to come over.
10:43pm: and then?
10:47pm: He thought I was texting you. He started calling me awful things, and then when I told him that I couldn't ever marry someone who acted the way he was, and then he hit me. I have good self-defense training, but he caught me off guard, and he's really big. I got him on the ground with his arms pinned back and then Santana and Noah turned up. He ran off after that and Santana called the police. My daddy is flying home as soon as he can and the police are supposed to be here at 12am.
10:50pm: im coming over
10:52pm: Sebastian, really, it's almost 11 and you live an hour away. Plus, Blaine and Kurt are her.
10:55pm: i dont care. im coming over, im going to help you through this, and then im going to find finn and kill him for what he did. ladyface and blaine can suck it up.
10:57pm: I appreciate the first part, but do not go looking for Finn. The police will take care of it. I don't want you to get in trouble.
10:58pm: rachel, i have to
11:00pm: No, you don't. Just come over here and stay with me. That's all I want.
11:05pm: fine im on my way now.
11:06pm: You shouldn't be texting while you're driving!
11:08pm: come on, we've been going for 17 hours straight. why not make it 18?
11:09pm: I KNEW you were keeping track too!