Between the Raindrops

By Berry's Ambitions

A/N: I have no regrets about this. None at all.

Happy reading! :)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kirby.

One

Escargoon is working on a new research paper when there is a sudden ruckus. There's the bang of the door hitting the wall, followed by the fast-approaching sound of footsteps. Heavy ones.

The snail heaves a sigh of defeat, filing the current topic away in his mind for later, and swivels around in his chair to face the other male. "Yes, your majesty?" he asks dryly.

"I'mma have to dock your pay-check," Dedede says, bluntly and without a trace of remorse.

Escargoon's jaw drops. "What?" he sputters. Because the news is so jarring and sudden, he doesn't have time to come up with a snappy comeback - let alone process information. "B-but why?" Mentally Escargoon goes over the things he's done this past month that have angered the king. It's difficult, considering the fact there's little anyone can do that won't cause Dedede's temper to boil over for whatever reason.

"It's to pay for them monsters!" Dedede retorts, as if Escargoon has no right to question his horrendous decision-making skills. "You want me to go broke?"

"It wouldn't make you go broke if you just paid for 'em yourself, ya cheapskate!"

Dedede angrily kicks the leg of the chair, causing his secretary to yelp and press his shell against it. "Ya know," he yells, jabbing Escargoon's chest with a finger, "maybe if you just did what I told ya without openin' that big mouth of yours - "

"Oh, what?" Escargoon asks scornfully. "You'd stop bonkin' me on the head all the time with that hammer you lug around? Or perhaps you'd... I dunno, smother me with love and affection?" Or whatever else you're incapable of feeling, he adds silently.

"Yeah!" Dedede grins fiendishly, obviously misinterpreting the startled expression that is now plastered on Escargoon's face. "So you better watch what you say to me!"

As he flounces away, slamming the door behind him, Escargoon decides that yes, he's mostly definitely going to be careful with how he phrases things from this point on.

Two

"From the moment I laid my big ol' eyes on your big ol' head," Dedede exclaims, cupping Escargoon's face with his formally-gloved hands, "I knew you were my love."

Escargoon clears his throat. Dedede's staring at him as if he's starving and Escargoon is his last warm meal on Pop Star. "Really, I..." His voice trails off as Dedede continues to ogle him. "Sire," Escargoon sighs, breaking character. Dedede looks annoyed at this and drops his hands, but he continues, "Do you really have to stand so close to me?" Escargoon rubs his face in a show of exhaustion. "I'm not actually Princess Rona, you know!" Thank the stars.

"Don't do that!" Dedede snaps, swatting his hand away. "You ruinin' the makeup!"

"If you'd just waited a while longer for me to buy my own instead of borrowin' Lady Like's - which is really unsanitary, for the record - then maybe we wouldn't have this problem!" Escargoon places his hands on his hips (or he would have, if molluscs had a bone structure). "How long are we gonna keep this up, anyway? I'm missing my program!"

"You TiVO it, ya bean-head!"

I'm surprised he even knows what TiVo is. Regardless, Escargoon gives a huff of resignation, rolling his eyes. "Touché," he replies shortly. "But you expect me to kiss you, sire, then you got another thing comin'."

Three

It had been the perfect set-up for a prank. Dedede isn't sure where he went wrong, only that he's very, very uncomfortable and thus very, very aggravated.

How was he supposed to know he wasn't going to fit through Escargoon's window? But the only thing bigger than Dedede's belly is his pride, and there's no way in hell he's going to ask anyone for help.

Not even when Escargoon himself comes through the door, takes one good look at him, and instantly doubles over with laughter.

"Oh, shut up, Escargoon!" Dedede snarls. "One more good push and I'll be comin' after ya! Then we'll see who's laughin'!"

Escargoon wipes at his eyes, still chuckling. There's a smirk on his face now, and Dedede wants nothing more to wipe it off with his fist. "One good push, eh?" He tilts his head to the side, inspecting the penguin. "I dunno 'bout that, sire. You look pretty stuck to me."

"I ain't stuck!" Dedede explodes, flailing about. "I'm... I'm..." He searches for the right word, wanting to just scream with frustration.

"In need of assistance?" Escargoon asks smugly. "Do you honestly believe I'm gonna fall for that trick again?"

Dedede's face flushes with embarrassment, something he hopes that Escargoon will mistake it for anger. "You always fall for it," he grumbles, averting his favourite lackey's amused green eyes. "Don't tell nobody about catchin' me like this and I'll love ya forever. Deal?"

"Promise you won't pound when when I get ya out and maybe I'll consider it."

"Don't push your luck, slug-face."

Four

"I'm coooold," Dedede whines, gripping Escargoon's arm so tightly that the snail begins to feel pins-and-needles. "Goonie, turn the heat up! Why won't ya turn the damn heat up?"

Of course the king had to come down with a cold right after everyone else in Cappy Town was cured. Of course it was his own fault, and of course Escargoon is the one stuck playing nurse-maid. "I already did, sire," Escargoon responds with greatly exaggerated patience. "If I turned it up anymore, I'd be an entrée at some fancy restaurant." He pries his arm from Dedede's grasp. "Honestly, I don't even know why I'm talking to you. You're enough of a block-head when you're not doped up on NyQuil."

He attempts to tuck Dedede in when his employer decides to bury his face into his neck for no apparent reason. Escargoon tenses. "You're gonna get me sick again!" he snaps, quickly pulling away.

Dedede pouts, flopping back down onto his pillow. "No I ain't. Would never do somethin' like that to ya... I love ya." He ponders for a moment. "I love ya more than chili." Dedede sits up once more. "I'd love ya even more if you made me some chili."

Escargoon stares at him blankly for a while. For once, he has no idea what to make of the situation presented to him. "You're outta your mind, sire," he says finally. "Go to sleep."

"But..." Dedede reaches for him again, looking almost forlorn as Escargoon backs away.

"You have no idea who you're even talking to," the snail tells him in a hollow, vibrating voice. "Good night, Triple-D."

The last thing he hears before bolting out of the room is Dedede's whimper of 'don't go.'

Five

Escargoon's thought process is brought to a screeching halt as he's shoved violently against the wall, a startled gasp lost when Dedede's lips forcefully press against his. This gasp soon turns into a quiet moan of pleasure, the other male's tongue finding his own almost immediately. Escargoon is only getting used to the feeling when there's an abrupt, sharp pain as Dedede gives his lower lip a good bite.

"Ow!" he yelps. Dedede's pulled away, all but leering at him. "Majesty, what are you - "

Escargoon has no time to reply as Dedede sends them both toppling onto the bed, straddling his sidekick the moment they make contact with the mattress.

When their lips bump together once more, Escargoon summons the nerve to actually grind against him. At this, Dedede groans out a word that once caused Escargoon's mother to wash out his mouth with soap. He pulls away, pupils dilated with lust as he nips Escargoon on the neck.

"O-oh!" Escargoon flinches. "Please be gentle..."

Dedede looks up at him, smiling lazily. "There ain't no fun in that," he murmurs, hands running up and down Escargoon's sides. He frowns slightly. "Ya know..."

"I... I know what?" Escargoon asks quietly, heart beginning to accelerate. "Tell me."

Dedede's frown deepens; finally, he just sighs and waves a hand dismissively. "It ain't important now." The smirk returns. "Now hold still."

He then lowers his head, effectively turning Escargoon's brain to mush.

Six

Dedede has a long-awaited moment of clarity as he sits on the side of the bed, watching as Escargoon murmurs to bundle gathered in his arms.

Dedede leans over, eyes flicking from the baby to his partner and back again. He smiles gently, pressing a kiss against Escargoon's cheek. "I love you."

Escargoon looks at him, shaking his head in amusement.

"Sure took ya long enough."

~The End~