RANDOMNESS, a naruto fanfic

Angel: THIS STORY IS FOR A SPECAIL PERSON!

Nam: YAY I FELL LOVED! -happy dance-

Aki: -holds out a cake- HAPPY -insert age here- B-DAY NAM!

Angel: AND HERE'S YOUR GIFT! along with a sneak preview of your choice at the end!

Nam: WOOT LET'S GO, WE OWN NOTHING!

Randomness

Something isn't right, Naruto thought walking out of his apartment. Looking around to see if his door was trashed or if the sky was falling, Naruto saw nothing. Strugging off the odd feeling Naruto ran to his training field. Walking through Konhona he noticed something weird. EVERYONE WAS WALKING ON THEIR HANDS!

" Okay then " Naruto said speeding past the odd civilans

Too his greater suprise when he got to the training fields, Sakura was...pogosticking while chewing gum with a small bat flying by her shoulder. ( WTF!?)

" Um, Sakura what are you doing? "

" WELL INO DARED ME THAT I COULDN'T DO THIS FOR THREE HOURS STRAIGHT!" Sakura said twitching the whole time

" And do you get anything out of this bet?" Naruto asked alittle scared

" Nope! BUT SHE DID GIVE ME 3 BUCKETS FULL OF POCKY " Sakura well screamed

" Ok then " Naruto said stepping away from the strangly hyper girl " Hey, when do you think Kakashi-sensi will be here?"

" I'm right here! Sorry that I'm late I was..." Kakashi stopped when he saw his team's shocked faces " What?"

" Kakashi sensi, your not late. YOU'RE EARLY! " the two screamed

" IT'S A SIGN OF THE END OF THE WORLD!" Sakura screamed

" That's impossible I made sure to leave four hours late " Kakashi said

" See I told you that he plans on being late, Sakura-chan " Naruto whispered to Sakura

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT WOULD WORK!

A mini smoke bomb went off in the middle of the training grounds and as the smoke cleared Sasuke was seen standing in the middle of it evil laughing.

" I KNEW THAT IF I RE-SET YOUR CLOCKS YOU WOULDN'T BE LATE FOR ONCE!" Sasuke yelled before going back to his evil muhaha laugh of doom. His team just stared at him with wide eyes.

" What?" Sasuke asked

" Why do you have Lee's chipmonk? " Kakashi asked

Sasuke looked at his shoulder and glared at the chipmonk. Picking it up by it's tail he flicked it off his shoulder and it landed gracefully on the ground, then turned and glared at him.

SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!

( Translation: I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL )

Sasuke just glared at the poor creature and yelled,

SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!

( Translation: YAH RIGHT YOUR NOT EVEN MY SPECIES! )

" Sasuke speaks...squirel?" Naruto said dumbfounded

" Techinally chipmonk!" Sakura said still pogosticking

" What's the difference?" Naruto asked

Sakura eyes widened as she said, " I don't know "

SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!

( Translation: DON'T EVEN COME BACK TO THE NEST TONIGHT YOU MAN-WHORE! )

The chipmonk ran off in tears, leaving Sasuke there with his mouth open.

SQUEAK!

( Translation: FINE! )

" Can this day get any weirder!?" Naruto asked

BOOM

WE WILL ENSLAVE YOU ALL!

" Spoke too soon " Naruto said sweatdropping

OH NO THE CHOCOLATE COVERED CATS, GRAPE JELLY COVERED FERRETS AND THE EVIL NINJA HAMSTERS HAVE ALL TEAMED UP TO TAKE OVER KOHONA!

( That's an inside, INSIDE THAT GROUP, joke )

" What's the worst thing a bunch of animals do? " Naruto asked

" BY THE SOUND OF THE EXPLOSION THEY DESTORIED THE RAMEN STAND! " Sakura said

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Wow Naruto you screamed for four minutes straight " Sakura said as Naruto's screams finally died down

" TO THE RAMEN STAND! " Naruto said running off to the ramen stand, Sakura pogosticking behind him, Kakashi just disappeared in a poof of smoke and Sasuke went back to his chipmonk's nest.

At the ramen stand

GRR GRR GRR

( Translation: BOW DOWN TO US YOU WORTHLESS HUMANS! )

AWWWWW THEY'RE SO CUTE! WHO'S A CUTE CHIBI FERRETS, KITTYS AND HAMASTERS!

MEOW MEOW MEOW!

( WE'RE CHOCOLATE COVERED WE ARE NOT CUTE! )

Everyone turned to the hamsters expecting a noise from the small cute creatures.

" Hey do hamsters even make noise? " a random civilian asked earning a group,

" I don't know "

Just then the hamsters came together and took out a giant BAZOOKA!

" AWWW THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE IF IT WASN'T POINTED AT US!"

RUN FROM THE END OF THE WORLD!

BOOM!

Unlucky for Naruto he was just happening to run past the blast sight and the explosion made him fly up in the air screaming.

" OH DEAR GOD! " Naruto screamed flying up into the air " I'M BLASTING OFF!"

" LOOK IT'S TEAM ROCKET!" a dirty blonde teen yelled pointing up at Naruto flying away

" No we're over here!" the iconic red haired felmale yelled

" Jessie! YOU SOLD MY BOTTLE CAP COLLECTION AGAIN!? JUST SO YOU COULD GO SHOPPING!?" a blue haired male said with huge anime tears

" Sorry James but I needed new clothes!" Jessie said holding up six shopping bags

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This is the greatest gossip in the world, Chouji thougt staring at Shikamaru and Ino. Ever since Ino convinced him to help her take pictures for the gossip column in the Kohona newspaper, his goal in life was to finally get proof of the Shikno( ShikamaruXIno ) relationship. Sakura said it was none of his business but she could see her smiling when he told her about it, Asuma ( HE'S NOT DEAD IN ANGEL WORLD! ) chuckled at his efforts and everyone else just brushed him off. But this, this was perfect.

Shikamaru and Ino after a long day of training had falling asleep by a large oak tree. Both where sleeping on the ground underneath the tree on their sides facing west, smiles on their faces. Shikamaru had Ino's waist in a death hug but she didn't even seem to notice. It was a sickenly sweet picture that almost gave Chouji a toothache just looking at it.

Perfect

Holding up the camera he steaided his hands so get the " perfect " shot.

" Say cheese " he whispered

Just as he was going to take the shot he heard loud screams coming from the sky. Looking up he saw a blur of orange, blue and yellow flying towards him.

BOOM CRASH

The ground shook as Naruto made impact with the ground and the shock woke both Shikamaru and Ino awake. Ino had no clue what was going on, just that two strong arms where around her. Not even bothering to see who it was, she loaded her charka into her hand and sucker punched Shikamaru. Shikamaru went flying into the tree behind them, knocking him out once again insantly.

Ino's face fell when she saw Shikamaru KO and ran over to him shaking his body screaming at him to wake up. Chouji's left eye twitched in anger. His perfect shoot, was gone. He needed to get a realise of anger and when he turned and saw the perfect target. Naruto looked up and saw, Chouji's eyes red with anger as if he just called him fat ass and he only had one thought.

Oh crap.

He barely felt Chouji punch him, it was like one moment he was pleading for his life the next he was blasting off.

" Looking like I'm blasting off again!" Naruto screamed

" HEY THAT'S OUR LINE!" Jessie, meowth and James screamed

With Sakura

Sakura was pogo-sticking through town trying to find Naruto. He ran off so fast she couldn't keep up. Kiba and Shino managed to make peace with the animals in the most interesting way.

Group therapy.

Shino sat behind a large desk just outside the destoried ramen stand while a small chocalate covered cat layied down on a small couch.

MEOW MEOW MEOW!

( Translation: and that's when the evil big boned women threw chocolate on me! )

" And how did that make you feel?" Shino said continting his tick-tack game on his sheet but acting like he was writing notes

MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

( Translation: Useless! Like yesturday's trash! And then there's that Aki girl, don't even get me started! )

" Are you saying that this Aki girl is the cause of your root pain?"

MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!

( Translation: YOUR DAMN RIGHT! HER AND HER FRIENDS ARA, NAM, ANGEL AND HARU! Though I think we toruted him enough that night with the sleepover (stupid email joke you got to read it to get it )

" I see, maybe you should talk to them about your feelings?"

MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!

( Translation: ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULD GO BEAT THOSE KIDS UP!? THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! I HEARD THAT SAKURA IS PUTTING TOGETHER A FOOD FIGHT TONIGHT AND EVERYONE WILL BE THERE! THAT'S A PERFECT IDEA! )

" Um, that's not what I was saying "

MEOW MEOW!

( Translation: BYE BYE DOC AND THANKS! )

The cat jumped off the couch and ran to get his little cat minons.

" My shift is over" Shino got up and Kiba took sit and a small cat came in following her leader.

MEOW

" I see how was your childhood like?"

Meow Meow Meow

" -sniff- WHAT!? ATTACKED MY A CHORUS LINE!?"

MEOW MEOW MEOW

" With emo nuns tap dancing!? "

MEOW MEOW MEOW

" WITH SPORKS WITH LITTLE CAPS RAINNED DOWN FROM THE SKY!? "

MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

" OROCHIMARU IS BRITANY SPEARS IN DISGUISE! I THOUGHT HE WAS MICHAEL JACKSON! "

" This is going to get ugly " Shino muttered as Sakura pogo-sticked by. Sakura was so happy in her state of nirvana she was couting down until she could finally get off this stupid pogo-stick.

Looking up Sakura saw a an orange and yellow blur flying towards her.

" I REGRET NOTHING!" Sakura screamed as the blur feel closer to her. She jumped off the pogo-stick, grabbed the orange part of the blur and flung it in a different direction. The high pitched screams that followed made her sweatdrop.

" That was Naruto wasn't it?" Sakura said staring at the floor

" Yup " Shino said

" Great, now I got to find his body!" she grumbled

" Maybe not, by the height and way you threw him I say that he's heading right for..." Shino fell silent and Sakura suspected that behind those glasses his eyes widden

" Where!? Where did I fling him!" Sakura screamed truely concerned

" You flung him into the Hyuuga compound "

With Naruto

BOOM

" Ow!' Naruto huffed in pain

WTH!? WHO, WHY, HOW...GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Getting up, the Kyubbi already healing him he looked around in shock. There five feet next to him was Tenten in a black mini skirt with ruffles and blood red chinese style shirt playing with Neji's headband. Infront of her was what had him in shock. THE Neji Hyuuga, the one who taunted him and Hinata during the Chunnin exams, the one who was cold hearted sometimes, the one who used Tenten as a training dumbie sometimes...

WAS PLAYING DDR AGAINST LEE! AND WINNING!

This was one of those moments you have to see to believe AND even when you see if you STILL don't believe it! And in all this random crackiness he only had one thing he could do.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OMFG! NEJI HYUUGA IS PLAYING DDR!?

Neji twitched at this while Lee looked almost giggy.

" Oh yes! Neji is the DDR world wide champion in every ninja nation! Expect the sound village where he lost to that Zaku kid but in all actually it wasn't fair cause that kid started breakdancing on the mat while Neji couldn't unleash his ultra super move THE SEXY MA..." Lee said before he was cut off

" Lee.Shut.Up " Neji threathen, that didn't stop Naruto's laughter though

" WAIT UNTIL I TELL EVERYONE THAT THE HARDEN NEJI HYUUGA IS SUCH A WIMPY DANCER!"

" Naruto-kun keep your voice down! You don't want to wake up Hinata and Hanabi " Tenten warned but her warnings fell on deaf ears

" I have you know that dancing increases balance and flexablity " Neji grumbled

" IS THAT WHAT YOU TELL YOURSELF TO GET TO SLEEP AT NIGHT?! " Naruto screamed laughing

" Naruto please! They can be very scary when their woken up early!" Tenten warned starting to sweat

BOOM

The room instantly tensed as a breath of cold air flew inside. Tetnen crawled away from the center of the room and behind Neji, praying for mercy.

WHO WAS SCREAMING!?

A high pitched girlie scream ran through the room and everyone looked towards Tenten in shock.

" Don't look at me!" Tenten grumbled pointing towards Lee

" Sorry " Lee said blushing

" Okay then " Naruto said trying to lift the tension

" WHO WOKE ME UP!" Hinata growled

Naruto backed up from this Hinata, she was scarier then a PMSing Sakura, if that was even possible. She and Hanabi where dressed in matching purple " I hate morning people " shirts with giant dark purple pj bottoms with ninja stars and scrolls on them. Their hair was messy as if they just rolled up out of bed and their faces where twisted in anger.

" Don't worry after five minutes they calm down and forgot everything they were doing so all we have to do is show a united front and not rat any one person out " Neji mummbled

" IT WAS HIM! DON'T EAT MY SOUL!" Lee paniced pointing the accusing finger at Naruto

LEE!

I'M SORRY I PANICED!

GET HIM HANABI! TAKE HIM TO YOUR TORUTE ROOM!

You have a torute room?

I HAVE ISSUES!

Aparently

ATTACK

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That looked like it hurt!

Neji-kun should we save him!?

NO WAY! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO BEAT NEJI!

You will never beat me because I'm perfect

SOMEBODY HELP ME!

COME ON WE GOT TO SAVE NARUTO!

What's the worst they can do to him?

With Naruto

Naruto was tied down to a midevil torute rack with Hinata and Hanabi standing over him laughing. For some reason they thought it would be fun to steal his shirt and he was only in his black pants, showing off his abs to the girls.

YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS COPPER!

" Who's Copper?" Hanabi asked confused

Naruto sweatdroppped, " I don't know "

" Okay then " Hinata said roling her eyes

Hanabi smiled and pulled out her battle ax.

" WHY THE HECK DO YOU HAVE A BATTLE AX!?" Naruto screamed

Hanabi took the ax from her sister with a smile, " So we can chop off your manhood! "

Naruto screamed bloody murder as Hanabi lifted up the ax. She started laughing manicly before saying,

" THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR WAKING ME UP!" before she could even use the battle ax, she started screaming. Her white eyes rolled back into her head and she feel backwards with a thud. Naruto was dumbfounded until he saw Neji, with a tazar in hand, along with Tenten and Lee standing in the door frame.

NEJI DID YOU JUST TAZAR HANABI!

" Yes I did Hinata, and your PMSing morning will end in 5...4...3...2...1... "

Hinata turned beet red and look over at Naruto-kun. As soon as she saw him without his shirt her head almost exploded.

" Naruto-kun!?" was all she could say before fainting with a small amount a blood dripping out of her nose.

" Wow, 5 minutes on the dot!" Lee shouted

Neji dropped the tazar and smiled.

" OMG NEJI IS SMILING!" Naruto shouted

Neji, deciding it would be best for Naruto's health to ignore him, grabbed Tenten's hands and draggged the girl back to their DDR room with Lee following close behind.

" CAN SOMEONE UNTIE ME!"

" Naruto-kun? " a soft voice said. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Sakura poking her head out of the corner of the doorframe.

" SAKURA-CHAN UNTIE ME!" Naruto pleaded

Sakura turned the corner with a stupid smile on her face. Putting up her hand to her mouth she tried to fight the giggles threathing her.

" Gees Naruto who put you in chains?" Sakura said her head close bursting from trying to keep her laughter in

He looked down sheeplishly and muttered " Hinata". This set Sakura over the deep end as she bursted into laughter.

" IT NOT FUNNY!" Naruto said " JUST UNTIE ME!"

Sakura threw her head back in laughter " Ok, I'll untie you. You just have to do one thing!"

" What's that!?" he asked. He was despate now.

" Wake up" she said smiling

" WAKE UP!? I'M NOT SLEEPING!" Naruto screamed, how dare she mess with him. Before she could saw anything Sasuke fell through the roof with a smile on his face. He was dressed in a giant banana suit and was smiling.

" IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME, PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" Sasuke screamed dancing in his suit

Naruto's true eyes flew open at that and he rocketed up and out of his bed. God, that sleepover messed with head. I mean it was crazy with the match making and the chocolate cats of death but this was weird. That party was two days ago, so why was he having messed up dreams now? His eyes slowly got used to the darkness around him and he saw his room was even messer then usual. Crawling out of bed he pulled open the curtains and let the light in. Looking around he saw that his whole floor was covered in ramen cups.

The supermarket found a bunch of old ramen cups. He saw one on his counter and saw that he barely ate any of it. Kicking the ramen cups out of his way, he took a shower and got dressed. He ran out the door to find Sakura making sure to take the cup with him. Walking through the streets he noticed something with his ramen. This ramen along with the ones he ate before bed all tasted funny. They all came from the same pakage so maybe they expired a couple days ago or something. Looking over the cup he saw the expiration date and it was the first time in his life he spit out ramen.

" THIS EXPIRED JULY 27 1994!? " he threw the cup on the ground and ran towards town rubbing his eyes to get the picture of that ramen cup out of his head

" Naruto!" he heard Sakura scream

Looking up he saw Sakura running towards him.

Sakura-chan I had the weirdest dream last night!" Naruto whinned

" Not now! We got to get Ino and Shikmaru together!" Sakura cheered grabbing onto Naruto's hand and rushing off to the Kohona shopping section.

Oh God no. This was the Hyuuga sleepover all over again, Naruto thought

" NOT AGAIN!" Naruto screamed

Angel: HAPPY B-DAY NAM!

Nam: -all smiles- I'M LOVED!

Aki: WHAT HAPPENED TO HARU!?

Angel: Oh I'm sure that firecracker didn't kill him

Aki: HA! SO YOU ADMIT THAT FIRECRACKER GOT HIM!

Angel...DANG IT! REVIEW!

Aki: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!