"Swallow him whole like a pill that makes you choke and stills your soul"
- Sheets - Damien Jurado
The floorboards creaked under my feet as I walked down the stares to the kitchen, I needed my nightly medication which was in the top cupboard just above the sink. I´ve leaned with time to keep them there ever since my father "accidentally" flushed them in the toilet, he´s never understood my sickness and being an alcoholic he didn't really have much patience to understand either.
The floor was cold under my feet once I stepped into the kitchen and I saw a shadow from the corner of my eye of sitting at the end of the kitchen table. At first I suspected it being my father, since I´ve many times caught him his drunken state sitting by the table at night crying over my mother and God knows what.
Although it wasn't him, because this person´s back was stronger looking so I tip toed around the corner, feeling at the frame of the door to grab a broom that was resting by the entrance, in our neighborhood you could never be too careful.
As turned the corner walking over slowly the shadow turned around and I saw a pair of grey eyes. This had to be a dream, the lack of medication was playing tricks on me so I put the broom down shaking my head. -"Jesus Christ" I huffed going for the cupboard.
-"I really need to call my fucking doctor" I said taking out two pills from the orange container into my hand, filling up a glass of water -"Stupid pills" I muttered chucking them down and swallowing them down with the water.
Then I took a deep breathe closing my eyes and turned around to still see the person sitting there, -"Great, its finally here, I´m seeing dead people"
The person chuckled a chuckle I knew all too well, something that hurt my heart so much I could feel the lump growing in my throat. -"That´s nice" I shook my head, crossing my arms, -"Nice seeing you again, dead Tommy Conlon"
-"Whatever they are giving you, kid, you should have some more, you´re hilarious" he commented, standing up, filling the room with his body frame, all I wanted to do was just hug him, but I knew I´d be hugging loose air.
-"I talk to dead people, safe to say I´m done being funny" I said walking passed him, feeling his grip around my wrist something I had never felt before, it seemed so real like it really where his hands on my skin. My eyes watered up and stung as I glanced up at him, seeing his grey eyes shining down at me and his smile forming brightly.
-"Don´t do this" I whispered, -"I´m not going back"
-"Where too, kid?" he said lightly as the tears flooded my eyes and fell down my cheeks, staining the skin and rolling around my chin. His other hand cupped my cheek and his thumb caught the tears wiping them away.
I leaned into the touch, closing my eyes and giving out a weak whimper.
-"You are not real" my bottom lip quivered as I bit it to stop myself from crying harder, but I knew it was there I could sense it in the bottom of my throat a strong cry just waiting to be released.
-"Missed me then?" he said moving the hand that was grasping my wrist up my arm stroking it, I shook my head, -"They told me not to listen to you, I promised I wouldn't listen to you" I said with my eyes still closed, -"You are not real, you are not real" I repeated as the weak whimper turned into full sobbing by the last sentence.
-"Open you´re eyes" he mused, letting the hand he was resting around my face fall down on my shoulder. I opened my eyes like he ordered and saw myself in the reflection of his eyes like the moon in his eyes if you may.
-"I wont make you" he said kissing my forehead and I looked down at his chest seeing the splatter of blood spreading over his white wife beater.
Putting my hands over my mouth I cried, trying to muffle the small cries, his hand rubbed at the cuts on my wrists as I kept on trying to stop myself from crying to no avail.
-"It wont be long now" he commented leading my hand to fall on his sturdy chest, it felt real even the blood on my hands which staining my fingertips.
I looked at him through teary eyes watching him breathing heavily and closing his eyes.
-"I´m sorry" I cried lowly.
-"Dont cry, it´s okay, kid" he sullied, opening his eyes.
And then the touch felt empty and he was gone. I looked at my hands and the blood was gone too.