Paste your do
My very first attempt at an Ian/Mickey fan fiction
It's going to be ok.
Summary: Ian tries to convince Mickey that everything will eventually work out for them.
Fire, that's the only thing Ian can think of when he thinks of Mickey. Ever since the first time the two of them fucked, Ian feels like his skin has been on fire. Every time they see each other it's like a burning desire from deep within, that just calls them to one another. The only problem with fire is that sometimes you might get burned. Mickey was fire. Yeah, when Mickey had a good day, his heat was warm and comforting and Ian just couldn't get enough of him. He liked the thrill and the adrenaline that came with something so dangerous, but Mickey was still a Milkovich, and more times than not, he was a dangerous wildfire, burning everything in his path. This couldn't be any more truthful than when Ian told Mickey that he wanted to be more than just fuck buddies. He thought that by telling him, Mickey could be more serious in trying to start a real relationship, not just a come and go. He thought wrong.
"Mickey, just listen to me." Ian says while trying to grab a hold of Mickey's arm. Knowing how the ex-con is likely to bolt at any second.
"Get the fuck away from me Gallagher; I don't want to fucking hear it." Mickey screams, making sure to keep away from Ian's grasp.
"Why do you always have to be like that? Why are you always pushing me away like I mean nothing to you?" Ian asks, hoping that he'll receive an answer like his life depends on it.
"Because…" Mickey sighs out
"Because what!? Oh let me guess you're still scared that your dad might find out that you're gay, or that Frank might tell someone about what he saw! Maybe you're just scared to admit that you might actually like me back!" Ian says, anger seeping out of his words.
Mickey doesn't even respond, just stands there looking lost. Ian doesn't even know how he let himself fall in love with someone like Mickey fucking Milkovich in the first place. How he could allow himself to get his heart broken. He knew that Mickey wasn't really into expressing his feelings. But Ian couldn't help but think that after all the time, booze, and sex that they've shared with each other, that Mickey would feel something back. Apparently he was wrong.
"So that's it? You're just gonna stand there and ignore me?" Ian says, tears stinging his eyes. He hates the thought of crying in front of Mickey, makes him feel stupid for actually caring about him more than he should.
Mickey just stares at him like nothing was just said at all, like he can't feel the heat, and the emotions seeping through Ian's body with every passing second.
"I actually thought you cared about me. I thought we meant something to each other. I mean I know we aren't really boyfriends but I at least thought I was more than a booty call." Ian says, rubbing his eyes frantically, looking so pathetic for letting his emotions finally get the best of him.
Ian waits for a reply. At this point he would take anything that the ex-con had to say, but all he receives is the ominous silence of the night, and Mickey's cold stare.
"Well just fuck it; I'm not doing this anymore." Ian screams over his shoulder as he begins to walk away from Mickey.
"It's because we're not supposed to be anything." Mickey finally says, words sounding forced.
Ian stops walking away and turns to look into Mickey's blue eyes. Ian has always been drawn to Mickey's eyes; they seem so deep and mysterious, just like Mickey.
"What are you talking about?" Ian asks confused.
"I'm saying that this thing we have between us needs to stop. We shouldn't keep it up, it's wrong Gallagher."
"No it's not Mickey, I told you we have nothing to be ashamed of." Ian says walking back towards Mickey.
"What if someone finds out, huh, what are we going to do? Hold hands and kiss and admit that we're fags? I'm not getting my head bashed in." Mickey snorts, then spits as if that very thought left a nasty taste in his mouth.
Grabbing Mickey's shoulders, Ian says, "So what are you gonna do? Run? Mickey you can't….. You can't always run from your problems, sometimes you have to stand and fight."
Laughing mockingly into Ian's face, Mickey can't help but ask, "So what are we supposed to do, fight against the whole fucking world?"
"We're not alone Mick, there are other gay people in the world ya know, and they do have support groups now."
Mickey honestly can't believe what he's hearing right now. Even Firecrotch can't be this delusional. "What fucking world do you live in Gallagher? Cause in this world, people kill fags, not support them." Mickey says while rubbing his thumb across his bottom lip.
"So you're going to leave me again. You've already left me twice; I can't handle a third time Mickey." Ian says sounding defeated. He knows this relationship, or whatever the hell it is, can't handle another lockup in juvie.
"I didn't fucking leave you, I was protecting myself." Mickey says, voice rising and filled with anger. He doesn't understand why Gallagher is making this so hard.
"So what, you think I don't need protecting? You're not the only one who could get hurt Mickey."
Moving away from Ian again, Mickey holds his head and screams into the sky, startling Ian. As Mickey begins to pace around, all Ian can think about is Mickey bolting and leaving him again. He knows it may sound selfish, but he refuses to be lonely again. Sure he kinda has a thing going on with Lloyd, or a school fuck buddy in Ralph, but all he wants is Mickey.
"Ugh, Gallagher you can be so fucking stupid sometimes. I was protecting us!" Mickey screams into Ian's face, and then shoves him back hard in the shoulder.
Ian doesn't know how to react, so he just stares at Mickey and listens to what the ex-con has to say. He knows this is the only time that Mickey will show any kind of emotion towards them.
"I didn't want you getting hurt, and I didn't wanna get killed by my fucking dad so I left. Mickey says while staring at Ian, all the anger and rage gone from his eyes and voice, replaced by love. Mickey can't believe how much this kid makes him feel.
"Do you understand now Ian? I didn't leave you, I was trying to save you, save us from this fucked up world we live in." Mickey says moving towards Gallagher, still holding eye contact."I mean is it too hard to understand that Firecrotch? I didn't wanna lose my best fuck buddy." Mickey says to Ian, putting emphasis on best, and showing his trademark smirk, while wrapping his arms around Ian's waist, putting their foreheads together.
Ian can't believe what he's hearing. Did Mickey just say he loved and cared for him? Did he really just admit his feelings? For some reason this all seems too good to be true to Ian. He honestly doesn't know how to respond with words, so he lets his body talk for him. Wrapping his arms around Mickey's neck, and staring into Mickey's eyes, he searches for the answers to the questions he's too scared to ask. He searches for the lies, the tricks, the anger, the fear and confusion in Mickey's eyes, but they're gone and replaced by love.
"Mickey." Ian breathes out in barely a whisper as he releases the embrace, mentally cursing himself for breaking contact so quick.
"Yeah"
"Don't ever leave me again, ok? I can't take it if I lost you again. Promise me you won't leave again"
"Gallagher I can't make that promise, you and I both know that." Mickey says eyeing the ground, afraid to look at Ian.
"Well promise me this," Ian says grabbing hold of Mickey's face. "Promise me that despite any and everything that might happen to us, our family, and our fucked up neighborhood, that we'll be ok. You might leave and I might go to WestPoint, but when we come back, everything will be ok." Ian says pleading with Mickey. He knows that while things are crazy in their lives, he'll try to make this thing work.
When Mickey looks up and finally says" Yeah Firecrotch, yeah whatever, I… I guess I promise." Ian can't help himself, and does the unthinkable; he kisses the big bad Milkovich. It's soft but hard and while Ian keeps Mickey's threat in the back of his mind when Mickey starts to kiss back, Ian's mind goes blank. This is what he's been fighting for, this is what he's been longing for. For so long all he wanted was for Mickey to feel. To feel, love between them, and be ok with it. Regardless of what the world might think about them, Mickey knows love now, and Ian can't help but think he's finally calmed the fire down.
cument here...