Title: A New Understanding
Note: fifth in the Suits and Suitors series. People find out more than they bargained for, well one person actually.
Disclaimer: Do I look like Aaron Sorkin? Then they're not mine.
***
"Josh!"
"Come on Sam you have to tell me!"
"Why?"
"Why? Because I'm supposedly one of your best buddies and best buddies tell each other everything."
"Well, I would… if there was anything to tell."
"Sam!"
"Josh!"
"Don't do my whining thing k, you just don't pull it off right!"
"Whatever" Sam sighs still trying to get away from me as we charge through the bullpen, weaving around desks and people.
"Come on Sam, who is she?"
"There is no she." Sam says as matter-of-factly as possible that for a second I almost believe him…almost.
"I don't believe you."
"Well you should because it's the truth."
"Look fine, you don't want to tell me right now. But I'll find out sooner or later."
"Yeah, right. Look I got to go do this thing for Leo."
"K." I say slowing down and turning back towards my office, "But I'll find out later!"
"There's nothing to find out!" I hear him shout. I can't help but smile and as I pass Donna's desk I can't help but wonder that maybe she's in on this little secret. The reason I think Donna knows is because she is staring very hard at a memo that she is reading upside down. Maybe it's not a woman; maybe it's a surprise party for me!
"So what's going on?" I say kneeling down next to her desk.
"Nothing."
"How can it be nothing when you don't even know what I'm talking about."
"Josh, half the bullpen knows what you are talking about, you were kind of screaming at Sam about some conspiracy theory about him not telling you something." she said it so calmly I was still kneeling trying to think of a comeback when I realized she was stood over me. I stood and we walked into my office where she put down yet more files on my many piles and picked up another two.
"It's not a conspiracy theory. I just…was sure he was keeping something from me."
"Well I don't know anything." I smirk; I've got her now.
"I never said you did."
"Yes you did."
"When?" I say with my mouth hanging open, must shut mouth! How does she keep doing this to me?
"When you kneeled next to my desk and asked me what's going on, to which the answer I just gave you is I don't know anything." and with that she was out the door and around the corner. I was still sat there in shock; she just ran rings around me…again.
****
"Sam?"
"You read my mind I was just about to ring you. You heard him?"
"Everybody did."
"He's getting far too suspicious Donna we should tell him, we have nothing to hide."
"I know, I know."
"Look, we'll talk about it tonight at dinner."
"Ooh, I'd almost forgotten. What time are you picking me up?"
"Eight, the same time I picked you up for our very first date."
"You remember the time?"
"I remember every detail."
"You do realise you are probably the most romantic man I've ever met."
"I think I may have been told that before." I can't help but giggle down the phone.
"Good luck with Hoynes and I'll see you tonight."
"Love you." I look around quickly to check for signs of Josh
"Love you too." It's not that I don't want Josh to know I just…don't want him to know. I know that we have nothing to hide, we're not having an affair behind Josh's back. Ok, so we are having an affair behind Josh's back, but its not like he isn't seeing someone too or that it would bother him. I wish it did bother him but it won't. I know, I know I say I love Sam and I do, I really really do its just that I love Josh as well but in a different way.
Its our four month anniversary tonight, four months since I decided to forget Josh and start a new chapter of my life and I have, I didn't think I could but I have. I have this wonderful boyfriend who cares about me so much and its hard to remember what it was like not to be with Sam, in fact I'm starting to feel that I couldn't be without him. He went away two weeks ago for three nights. It was horrible! I missed him so much and I think he was surprised by how happy I was to see him, I was surprised! I think Sam's someone I could really consider spending the rest of my life with. Do you realise how much of a thing this is for me? I used to be infatuated with Josh; he was the only person I could see but now… I still love him, of coarse I do, you don't just stop loving somebody but now he's happy with Maggie and I'm extremely happy with Sam. But you never stop loving somebody like Josh.
****
"This place is fantastic Sam!"
"Yeah I thought we deserved something special."
"Well it would be special wherever we were."
"I know, but I wanted to treat you."
"Now that I will go along with. How was Hoynes?"
"The usual, I ended up having a small argument with him." Sam looked slightly guilty and hid behind his glass; I smiled.
"How small?"
"I called him a power hungry idiot."
"Oh Leo is going to love you."
"I know. But the guy deserved it; he was just going to throw all our work down the toilet just because it might gain him a few points in next weeks polling. Can you believe this guy?"
"We're stuck with him Sam, we have to be careful. Anyway I thought saying stupid things to important people was Josh's job." I said smirking
"It is, I was filling in for the day."
"Don't worry about it, he'll shout a bit at Leo who will say you were right but give him a few extra photo calls and stuff and Hoynes will be kept happy enough." he gave me that smile and look again which always makes me turn to jelly
"You know, you could do all our jobs about twenty times better than us all, except maybe CJ cos she'd just too scary."
"Huh! Yeah right, trust me it's easier to make comments from the sideline than actually be in there." He laughed and we carried on eating in silence for a few minutes.
"So which of us is going to tell him?" Sam suddenly asks
"Who?" playing dumb, I know I know…
"Josh."
"Oh."
"Look I'll tell him if you want." I shake my head while trying to swallow a bite.
"No, no. I'll tell him. It's my thing."
"Ok, but I'll be around if you need me." he smiled as he put his hand over mine. Now all I had to do was find the right moment….
***
"Josh"
"Donna, I really need that file on crime figures, I have Toby on my back, Leo on my back and frankly the entire US trying to cram in there too." maybe the moments not right now. Yet, on the other hand, when is the right moment exactly?
"Donna? Are you listening to a word I'm saying because believe it or not I don't pay you to stare into space." then again, you can't get much worse than this.
"I'm seeing Sam." oh well.
"What? I have to see Sam?" he hasn't looked up at me once during this conversation and is still staring at his screen. But it's too late now.
"No, I'm seeing Sam, as in dating Sam." now he looks up
"Sam?"
"Yes, Sam Seaborn."
"As in Sam Seaborn the Deputy Director of Communications?"
"Yes."
"Since when?!"
"Erm…4 months yesterday." he sits back in his chair and he has this look as if someone just dropped one of those huge cartoon anvils on him.
"Oh."
"Look Josh…"
"Why didn't you tell me, I mean its not as if…" but that's all he can manage to get out before he sits back again and gets that look again, god this is agony!
"Because, well we didn't really want anyone to know and well…I just wasn't sure how you'd react."
"Well, I mean…it's fine with me. I mean why would I react badly?" I can't help but drop my head to hide my face, god this is just getting worse.
"I mean you and Sam are my two best friends. I'm happy for you I…I really am." but he's looks so far away now and I'm just stood there feeling awful.
"I'm sorry. I…I'll just go and get that file for you." I'm already choking up as I run out the door.
****
Sam and Donna. Donna and Sam. Sam n' Donna. Sam and Donna? I mean I guessed that Sam was…but Donna? Four months? FOUR MONTHS! Four months. Why didn't they tell me, why didn't she tell me? Why? Why is this hurting so much? Why does this bother me? I should be happy. I am happy…so why do I feel like I just got kicked in the teeth?
"Josh?" I turn away from the window slowly and see CJ standing in the doorway with a concerned look.
"Yeah?" I ask quietly
"You ok?"
"Yeah…yeah I'm fine." I say shaking my head as I try and pull myself together.
"You sure?"
"Donna just told me she's been going out with Sam for four months."
"I know Sam told me five minutes ago."
"Everybody knows?"
"Yeah."
"Four months."
"I know Josh. I came cos I knew you'd be upset."
"I'm not upset." she gives me one of those looks where she raises her eyebrow way too far "I'm not. I'm just angry they didn't tell me for four months."
"God Josh you are so far into denial its just not funny anymore." she says throwing her arms in the air and walking out before I even have a chance to register what she said. If the phone hadn't rang maybe I would have had time to think about it.
"Hello?"
"Hey honey."
"Maggie, hi."
"You ok? You sound a bit weird."
"I'm…I'm fine. Just tired, it's been a long day."
"Poor, poor thing. How about I come over tonight. We could have dinner?"
"Erm…maybe not tonight. All I want to do is crash, plus I don't know when I'm going to get home."
"Alright. Tomorrow?"
"Yeah, that would be great honey. See you tomorrow."
"Love you."
"Love you too."
I put down the phone as Sam knocks on the door
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Donnas told you?"
"Yeah."
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, yeah great." I say, maybe I'm sounding a little cold but he did just keep me in the dark for 4 months.
"How are you coming with the stuff for Leo."
"Fine."
"Good cos the President wants a position for tomorrow morning."
"I know Sam!" maybe that was a little snappy.
"K, I was just…never mind. Look are you still coming to the bar on Friday?"
"No."
"No? Why?"
"I…have some stuff on."
"Josh we planned this a week ago."
"Sorry Sam, I've made other arrangements! Ok?"
"Fine, whatever you want to do." and he stormed out. Well he never told me!