Nothing more intimate

I watch her out of the corner of my eye. She doesn't want to be here. She wants to be alone. I can tell by the way her jaw sets every now and then. How occasionally her eyes start to moist a little. Her confession to Sweet brought up more than she will ever admit. And honestly, i'm not doing to good myself. Not for myself but for Temperance. I can't believe they locked her in the trunk of a car for two days. I can't get the image out of my head. The bastards! How dare they treat her that badly. Sweet and Gordon Gordon are caught up in a discussion about... something. I didn't really listen. How could i after what Bones said tonight. I can't help but wonder what other people may have done to her. Was this the worst she had to endure? Or are there thing so bad she'll never tell anyone?

'Excuse me for a minute', Bones says suddenly and dissapears into my bathroom. I don't have to think twice about why she left the table. I 'accidently' knock over my wine glass. The wine is all over my pants and dress shirt. They're ruined but i don't care.

'Oh crap. I'll be right back. Let me change', and i leave the table as well. Only to find my Bones. I'm shocked when i walk into my bedroom. She didn' go to the bathroom. She is sitting here on my bed trying desperately to control her emotions. A few tears already escaped. There are dark spots on her dress that indicate the tears.

'Temperance?' I say softly. Her only response is that she closes her eyes and more tears escape. 'Talk to me?'

'Make them leave, please?' The sound of her voice terrifies me. Her voice is so small. So terrified that the chills run over my back. I kiss her temple softly. Something i'd normally wouldn't dare to do.

'Give me a minute', she nods and i leave my bedroom again.

'I thought you were going to change?' Sweets asks immediatly.

'I was. Listen guys, Bones is sick so i hate to ask but would you mind...', i start.

'Of course! Of course', Gordon Gordon interupts me, 'it's late anyway. Give the good doctor my best. I hope she feel better soon', by the way he looks at me i know he can see right through my lie. Sweet probably as well.

'What wrong with her?' Sweets asks surprised.

'She's sick, Sweets. It's been a long day, okay', i say irritated. Sweets finally catches up and doesn't argue with me anymore.

'Thanks for making dinner, Gordon', i say as i shake his hand.

'See you tomorrow, Agent Booth', Sweets says. I shake his hand as well. As soon as they are out the door, i close and lock it. I run back to my bedroom. I thought i'd seen the scariest part tonight but this scares me even more. Bones changed into some of my sweats and a big t-shirt and is laying in my bed. Curled up in foetal position. I walk around my bed and kneel infront of her.

'Hey', i whisper. She opens her eyes and gives me a tiny smile, 'they left.'

'Thank you', she whispers back. Her voice sounds scratchy. Probably because of all the tears she's holding back.

'I gonna change quickly okay?' She nods and i grab a singlet from the nightstand. I don't leave the room as i shed my clothes and put on my shirt. There's nothing she hasn't seen before. I lay down behind her and carefully wrap my arm around her. Immediatly she moves toward me and soon our bodies are lined together. Touching from chest to our toes.

'Do you want to talk?' I ask. If there's anything i don't want to do right now it's pushing her.

'Bringing up those memories brought back what i was feeling in that car. How scared i was. Alone', she whispers. I can't help but kiss the back of her neck softly to encourage her. 'The stupid thing is... being in that trunk wasn't even the worst of what people did to me. But it was the first bad thing that happened in foster care.'

I immediatly have a bad feeling. She doesn't have to tell me what the worst was. I probably already know.

'Please tell me they didn't...', i say. I can't say the word because it's to horrific to think of. I feel a tremor go through her body.

'They did...', she confirms my worst suspisions, 'i was 17 when they did.' The tears start to overflow from her eyes. I tighten my grip on her but i can't be close enough right now.

'Turn around', i whisper in het ear. She doens't fight me and slowy she turns in my arms. Our faces out inches apart. Her hands rest on my chest. Our legs our tangled together. Even our stomachs touch when we breath. The way i hold her is so intimate yet it doesn't turn me on for a second.

'I hate those people', i say to her. I feel her breathing change. Slowly her walls are crumbling down and she starts to cry against my chest.

'Please...', she cries and i feel her starting to panic.

'Breath with me okay', i hold her hand against my chest and i feel her breathing evenly again. The tears won't stop. It takes her probably an hour to calm down. All this time i hold her against me, kiss her in her hair and whisper words to her. After she calms down her body is radiating heat.

'My chest feel so tight', she whispers.

'I know', i say. We don't say anything else. I rub circles on her lower back. A gesture i know will make her feel safe. It always works on her. My other hand is against her cheek. My thumb traces her cheekbone about a thousand time before she finally falls asleep against me. Even in her sleep i can see the terror in her face. I relax a little and feel my own tears coming to the surface. For her. For the woman i love. I allow my tears to flow without a sounbd as i watch her sleep. She stirs a little and i'm afraid i've woken her up again but she only tightens her grip on me. It seems as though even in her subconcious she knows i'm here.

I know i should try to get some sleep but i can't keep my eyes off her. I want to be awake in case she needs me. How could anyone hurt this beautiful woman? I bet she was beautiful even back then. I wish i knew her then. If i did i would've protected her from any harm anyone would cause her. I think about her. When she was an teenager and now. What would've become of her if she wasn't abused so much? If her parents just stayed with her? I know one thing. I wouldn't be the man i am today if it wasn't for her. Ever since meeting her i haven't had the need to gamble, to drink away my sorrows. She saved me in so many ways she doesn't even know.

Suddenly her eyes are on my face. I hadn't even noticed her waking up.

'Hey', i say softly and kiss her hair.

'You've been doing that a lot tonight', she says with a smile. A real one. I give her my best charm smile.

'Yeah, well, i thought you needed it', explain. Her smiles dissapears.

'I did', she admits, 'do.' I pull her against me even further. After a while i let go. 'What were you thinking about?' She asks. I sigh.

'You', i say softly. Her eyes go wide a little before i feel her relax again.

'What about me?'

'How i wish i knew you back then. That i would've protected you', i explain sadly.

'Don't beat yourself up over this, Booth', she says and touches my cheek. 'I'm okay now. You make me feel okay. Safe', she confesses in a whisper, 'when i'm around you the past doesn't matter to me.'

'How could you say that? How could you say it doesn't matter. It does to me', i answer her in disbelief.

'I know it does, Booth. But i feel that when we're together in a moment just like this. The only thing that matters to me is the present. I don't want you to think about what those people did to me. I don't want you to think about me that way.' I look at her eyes and sigh. As always... she's right. When i look into her blue eyes i see the present. Maybe even my future.

'I love you, Seeley', she whispers bearly audible. I look at her with wide eyes. Did she just admitted she loves me? She places a kiss over my heart before she snuggles into me again. I hold her tightly against me.

'I love you, too, Temperance', i whisper. Tomorrow we'll talk about it, i'm sure. But for now there are no kisses, no heat of passion like i alwas imagined. For now just holding her in my arms, loving her and her loving me is enough and probably the most intimate way to express out love for each other.