CPOV

They've changed the lighting since I came here last. Its a deeper tone of red, making it a little more difficult to see my surroundings. The music seems to be louder, too.

I'm back at the bar I'm so used to coming to ; the bar that is so discreetly hidden that the normal person would have no idea the kind of kinky sex dungeon they are near when they walk by it. This is where I come when I get bored; when I begin to find my current sub dull and sex with her tedious. It happens every time, a few months in. It also usually happens when the sub confesses her feelings for me and wants "more". The word itself makes me feel sick to my stomach. The thought of a woman being close to me emotionally or knowing the true me is truly terrifying. I've come to accept this part of me, and I'm ok with the thought that I will never feel love and will never allow myself to be loved.

And Leila had just last week confessed her love for me and begged me for more, on her hands and knees, mind you. Usually a woman in that position makes my heart race, but this time is was repulsive. I yelled at her to stand up and to never mutter those words again. Usually when I hear those words I usually end the contract right then and there, but I'll let Leila slide this once. Mainly because she's the least difficult sub I've ever had, so I'll play along just a little while longer, so long as those words don't come up again. But she was boring me way before she said I love you.

So here we are, walking into the bar where we first met. She had initially caught my eye because her hair was so long and her eyes so big. I could tell right away from out first conversation that she would be a good sub, and she has been, but that's all she's ever been : good. What a mundane, drab word. She clings onto my arm as we walk down the stairs and my body resists the urge to peel her hands off of me. Let her touch you, you monster. Its the least you could do.

We reach the bottom of the stairs and I survey the room. Boring. All around are your basic old, out of shape men in leather vests and masks. The women are head to toe in leather, just like Leila. I told her not to, that it was tacky as fuck, but she insisted. I was always made fun of around here for wearing my regular clothes here, but for me the life style is not about the clichés. Its simply about the power and control. I have no desire to walk around with a whip in my hand. I'm so confident in my dominance that I feel no need to dress like I'm intimidating and aggressive.

"I'm going to get a drink" I lean down and say into her ear.

"I'll come," she says.

"No" I say too quickly. Her huge eyes show her pain. I curse myself silently. "I mean, you should go and mingle". Her eyes go from sad to shocked.

"Mingle?! You know I can't do that!"

"You know what I mean," I say with an eye roll. "With the women. Your friends are here," I say as I nod over to a group of women that I know she associates with. She gives me one more look of both concern and sadness before muttering a simple "yes, sir" and walking off.

I sigh in relief as I feel her presence leave mine. I can breath again. Its amazing what the words I love you do to my labido. My dick hasn't been hard since.

I sit on one of the stools and ask for whiskey. Its placed in front of me and down it in one gulp before slamming it onto the counter and asking for another. The bartender, who knows me well, gives me a look.

"What?" I say with a sneer, this time sipping the liquor instead of inhaling it.

"That time again?" He asks giving me a sad smile.

"Yep," I say without emotion.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Grey. Maybe one day someone will work out for you." I squint my eyes at him.

"We both know there's no room for that in this life style."

"That's not true. There's plenty of married couples in here," he says looking around.

"Whatever." I continue to nurse my drink, hoping that the group of women that Leila is with occupy her time a little while longer until I have to entertain her again. Unfortunately for me, I suddenly hear her voice behind me.

"Sir?"

"What is it?" I ask without looking up.

"Another dom was trying to pursue me just now," she says in a small voice.

"Ok. And?" I hear her whimper in response. I know that hurt her. The truth is, I don't give a fuck who touches her. I never have cared with any of my subs. The hard limit of only being with me was purely so I didn't have to worry about any diseases. Plus, a self respecting dom would never let someone else fuck his sub. So I got along with that rule, though I really don't give two shits. "I mean, just ignore him," I say catching myself.

"Fine," she says bluntly and walks away. Normally I would get furious with the attitude in that small word, but again - I'm bored and don't care.

"Damn, Grey," the bartender says. "Never seen you this bad." I give him a look and continue with my drink, obvious to everything around me…just staring at the ice cubes in my drinks.

"Ho - ly SHIT," I hear the bartender gasp. His reaction is so strong that I'm actually interested. I look up and realize that he is staring straight past me with his mouth hanging open.

"What?" I ask curiously.

He licks his lips and nods his head behind me. Curiosity gets the best of me. I turn around on my bar stool and my eyes scan the room. Its so dark in here that its nearly impossible to see…but I see her. Its obvious that almost every man in here sees her as well. She is breath taking. Adorable. Beautiful. The cutest god damn thing I've ever seen. And I can tell right away that she doesn't belong here.

She has on a tight pair of dark blue skinny jeans with high wedge black boots. I can tell that she has a dark colored, fitted shirt underneath her black leather jacket that is hugging her breast perfectly - but not enough to be obscene or seem desperate. Her dark brown hair is full and glides down just past her shoulders and her bangs hang loosely in her eyes. I audibly gasp when I see her lips - they sit perfectly on her face and are full and plump, and I can tell from all the way over here that they are natural; that everything on her is natural. I notice that she clothes a manila envelope to her chest as her terrified eyes scan the room.

I feel my dick stir and my heart rate quicken. A small bead of sweat forms above my brow as my eyes bore into her. I am fighting the primal instinct to pounce on her like a lion and claim her as mine. To throw her over my shoulder and scream "mine!" at the top of my lungs while beating on my chest. But instead I choose to count to 10 to steady my breathing and try to figure out what the hell she is doing here.

"Go ahead, Grey," the bartender says. "If anyone in here could have her, its you."

"She'll be mine," I say matter of factly, "I'm just observing right now."

She continues to take a few hesitant steps forward, her head swiveling around multiple directions. I can tell that she has noticed that every man's eyes in here are glued to her. She takes a step back in response. I can tell she is terrified. I want to rescue her, but not yet. I keep observing, trying to make sure she's not an illusion and that she's real.

She nervously looks into her manila envelope and then back up at the crows quickly. She continues to look around her. What are you looking for, baby?

My eyes quint and my body instinctively jumps up from my stool when I see one of the doms approach her. I know that most of the men in here don't approach her because they either A) know that they are not good enough for her or B) know as well as I do that she has never been here before and probably shouldn't be. My blood boils as he approaches her and stands too close to her. I can tell from over here and he is taking in her scent and his eyes scan over her body. Her eyes are stuck to the ground and she shifts uncomfortably. Her lips move - she's speaking. What i wouldn't give her hear her voice. Suddenly the man erupts into laughter and her head falls even lower. He reaches out and touches her arm, and her shoulders tense.

That's it. I can't take it anymore. I storm over to them and rip his hand from her body.

"Back up, Jake," I say in a low growl. I can feel her energy next to me, and although I'm not yet looking at her, I can feel that her energy has softened. She already feels safe with me. Good. She should.

"Grey, mind your business. I got here first."

"I don't give a fuck. Back. The Fuck. Up," I almost shout as I stand chest to chest with him. We are staring at each other, neither one of us willing to let down. That's when I hear it - the sweetest sound i've ever heard. Her voice.

"I would appreciate it if you left me alone. I'd much rather talk to this man." I feel her tiny hand on my arm. I turn to look at her and she gives me a small, appreciative smile. My knees buckle, but I'm able to get myself together as I turn back around to face Jake.

"You hear the lady. She doesn't want to talk to you. Go away," I grit the last words out through my teeth. He gives a sarcastic chuckle.

"Whatever. You always get the good ones, Grey. Not that you deserve them. Especially not this one. I can tell she's too good for you." I throw daggers with my eyes at his retreating back.

"Thanks," I hear the small whisper. I turn around and am finally face to face with her. She's much shorter than me, so much so that she has to look almost all the way up at me. The sight of it is intoxicating. I can't help but wonder how beautiful she will look looking up at me like that while she's on her knees.

Damnit, Grey, I curse myself, leave the poor girl alone!

"What's your name?" I bark out, making her flinch. I make a mental note the change my tone the next time I speak. I'm just so frazzled at the sight of this beautiful girl in front of me.

"Anastasia," she squeaks out. Fuck. What a perfect name for her. I nod my head.

"That's a beautiful name. It suits you." My fists clench as I see a deep shade of blush run across her porcelain skin.

"Thank you," she smiles shyly and tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

"What are you doing here? You don't belong here."

"Its that easy to tell?" She asks tensely.

"Yes." I say simply.

"How can you tell?" She bites her lip as she looks up at me. I can do nothing to suppress the groan that escapes my throat as I see her lips released from between her teeth. Her eyes widen at the sound.

"Because, you're too good to be true." She blushes again.

"Once again, what are you doing here? I'd appreciate an answer." Jesus, Grey, can't you hold off on your dominant shit for one minute?!

"It sounds so stupid," she says as she rolls her eyes. I open my mouth to scold her but am somehow able to keep quiet. She doesn't know the rules yet, and I'm not trying to scare this beautiful creature off. "But I'm doing research. Its for one of my final classes. Its the final paper. I want to make sure I ace it so I didn't want to settle for basic internet research."

I squint my eyes in confusion and curiosity. Her face is beautiful yet innocent and youthful. I pray in my head that she's not in high school. I open my mouth but she answers before I can speak - as if she's reading my mind.

"College," she giggles and I can't help but smile at the sound, "I'm a senior in college."

"What's the class?" I ask, my smile still plastered across my face.

"Human sexuality."

My head tilts in curiosity. "What's your major?"

"English Lit. Its one of my last electives." My interest peaks.

"What made you want to take a course on sexuality?"

"I don't know. Because its so far from my comfort zone." Ah, she is used to vanilla sex, I see. I close my eyes and shake my head at the thought of any other man having her. The thought pains my chest…my heart? This feeling is so foreign and uncomfortable to me that I have to think of dying puppies to distract myself. Yes…the thought of dying puppies is better than the feeling of pain in my heart. Told you I was a monster.

"Anyway," she says, "I wanted to interview someone here. Maybe you could help me?" Her feet shift nervously.

"Yes," I say, "I would love to help you."

I place my hand on the small of her back and guide her through the club. The warmth of her skin even through her jacket is bearing into my hand. My eyes dart around the club at all of the men who are looking at her. Mine.

I sit her down in one of the booths farther away from the crowd. I knew that she was extremely uncomfortable and I want to keep her as safe as possible.

"So," I start as I settle next to her, "What do you want to know."

"Um…well…." she hesitates as he pulls out a document from her manila folder.

"Are you always this prepared?" I chuckle.

"When it comes to school, yes."

"Good girl," I say in a low voice before I realize it came out. Her eyes widen and she bites her lip again. I bite down on my tongue to control myself. What I really want to do is grab her face and devour her lips.

"So, uh," she looks back down at her paper and takes a small black pen out from the manila envelope. She clicks it and holds it to the paper, ready to scribble my words down.

"What brought you into this lifestyle, Mr…uh…?" She sees my hesitance with giving my name. "Oh, your name will go nowhere on this. I promise." I search her eyes for sincerity. Holy shit, am I really going to disclose my whole life to this girl without an NDA? I watch as she licks her plump lips and presses her thighs together. Yes. Yes I am.

"Christian Grey." She smiles.

"Christian," she whispers as she looks down at the paper nervously. I take a sharp inhale as I hear my name on her lips. It sounds sweet and thick, like honey.

I would never, ever, let a sub call me by my first name.

"Say my name again" I order.

She hesitates and looks deep into my eyes until she speaks. "Christian."

There is a long and thick silence as we both stare at each other. I notice that her chest is rising and falling more rapidly. I give her a small smile, urging her to go on. She shuts her eyes and shakes her head before looking back down at her paper.

"Anyway. Uh, yeah…what brought you into this lifestyle?"

Shit, that's a loaded question. That story could take hours, and the only person I have ever told is Flynn.

"I like control."

"So you're a dominant?"

"Oh yes."

"And you like to have control over…?"

"Oh, I practice control in all things, Anastasia." I watch as she scribbles down the word control.

"And how long have you been doing this?"

"Since i was 15," I answer honestly. Her eyes widen.

"Wow," she whispers before writing down the number.

I gently place my hand on hers, facing her to put the pen down.

"I would like to know more about you."

"What about me?"

"Everything."

"I'm not that interesting."

"What do you like to do?"

"Read books mostly," she says as she shyly tucks her hair behind her ears.

I take a deep breath before my next question.

"Have you ever done anything like this before?" I ask, nodding my head in the general direction of the club. She lets out a laugh and shakes her head. "Why is that funny?"

"Because…I…"

"What?" I gently urge her on.

"Well I…I've never done…anything…before…" her face is a bright shade of red. My eyes bore into her.

"What do you mean?"

"I've never even…" she looks down at her lap, scratching her nails nervously. I gulp.

"Are you…a virgin?" I watch as her eyes meet mine. Holy shit. I shift uncomfortably in my seat, my dick is so hard at this point its painful. A virgin? I take a mental note that I will do anything in my power to make this girl mine. All mine.

"How? You are stunning. Men must throw themselves at you."

"Never one I've wanted." She says, her eyes never leave mine. I look down at her lips. She biting her lip again. I reach up a shaky hand and touch her face. Her eyes close and I let out a groan. I can't do this anymore. I have to kiss her. I have to know what she tastes like. I lean in slowly, watching as her eyes flutter open to see that I'm leaning in, but she doesn't pull away. Out lips are centimeters apart when I hear a shrill voice.

"Christian!" I look up to see Leila, her eyes wide and angry, her hands on her hips. I can't hold in my anger.

"What did you call me?" I ask angrily.

"Who the fuck is this?" She asks looking at Ana. "I'm his sub! He's taken!"

"Watch your tone!" I shout. How dare she speak like this to her.

"I'm sorry," Ana says nervously. I look down in disappointment as she gathers her things and puts the paper and pen back into the envelope.

"Wait," I beg as she gets up from the booth.

"Thank you for your time," she says quickly, giving me a small, sad smile as she goes to walk away. I stand up quickly, pushing past Leila and running after her. I grab her hand and crash her against my chest, holding her tightly.

"Don't leave. Please," I feel ashamed of myself as I've never begged a woman like this. But I can't let her go. I can't.

"Christian I have to go. I don't belong here. I'm sorry that I upset your submissive." I continue to hold her close as she tries to break free.

"I need to see you again."

"Christian, please! Let me go!"

I look around and notice the scene that we have caused. I don't want anyone to give her any trouble, so I reluctantly let her go. She turns away from me quickly and runs away from me and up the stairs, back into the world that she arrive in my life from. I run my hand through my hair in frustration. I'm angry and saddened by her departure, but I now that I will see her again. I will make sure that no matter what I have to do, I will see this beautiful girl again. And she will be mine.

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