Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters all belong to Amy Sherman Palladino. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.
It had been a long day. The final part even longer if it was possible.
He had spent a lot of time in his study, drinking and thinking. Thinking and drinking. The situation had been serious and he had felt guilty. Rory had run away. Exactly like her mother. She had left Yale and Lorelai. He had thought that a short time far away from her previous life could have helped her reflecting on what she had done, but suddenly it had seemed like a stupid idea. He would have had to put her in his car, drive her to Yale, walk her to her old apartment and force her to stay there. He should have followed Lorelai's plan instead of making his own. And now Rory was lost. She spent all her time chatting on and on about parties and teas. Going out every night and having sex with Logan. Under his roof, in his pool house. Nothing more. He hated himself for having allowed her to renounce her dreams. But mostly he hated himself for what had happened that evening in his study.
Emily had organized a party for Rory's birthday. She had been excited all week long before that night. She had been happy. She had been proud. She finally had been able to organize the party she had dreamt of for the last twenty years. She hadn't been able to do this for her own daughter, so she had felt in heaven doing it for her granddaughter.
And she had expected him to be at her side that night, to be proud of her, to share with her the happiness that party had brought to her.
But he had left her alone, he had forced her to greet their guests alone, wondering what he was doing instead of celebrating their granddaughter's birthday with her. He had avoided Rory. He had avoided the party. He had avoided her. And he had prevented her to be completely happy.
When she had entered his study that evening she had looked so radiant, her new dress illuminated her face, the glittering jacket tightened just over her perfect breasts. She had been simply beautiful, and he had ruined her happiness. She had tried to convince him to go to the living room, to celebrate Rory's birthday together. She had made an effort to understand why he had spent the past two days in his study. He had noticed how her eyes had clouded by the time he had argued with her, the sparkle he had seen when she had opened the door some minutes before had faded out, her hands had rested firmly over her stomach. And then the moment he had said those two words, meaningless and frivolous, her eyes had looked down at the floor, nevertheless he had caught something in them, maybe light shock. And a single tear.
He had no justifications. He had drunk too much but his mind was still clear when he had insulted her. He remembered every single word they had exchanged in his study, her expression and her wet eyes. He had hurt her deeply this time. He had insulted her whole life, her being. Unintentionally, nevertheless he did it.
He swallowed hard and stood up from his leather armchair, walking slowly towards the living room and climbing the stairs heavily. The moment he reached his bedroom, he stopped in front of the closed door, taking in a deep breath. He had to explain, he had to apologize. Letting go of a long and low breath he grabbed the handle and turned it down, pushing the door open, just a little, enough to slip inside. The room was dark, only a faint light coming from the curtains. She was there, laid on her side of the bed. He stared at her sleeping form for a while. She was his wife and he had hurt her. More than once, to be honest. He bent down and caressed her hair gently, while her body fell and raise lightly under her breaths. He took in her sweet scent, his eyes closed, before standing up and walking towards the bathroom.
The water beat strongly against his shoulders, his skin reddened by its hotness. He let his head lean on the shower's wall, his hands covered his face. He felt guilty for the night, for the words that had escaped his mouth, but not only. He felt even worse for what he had done the day before. He had made a mistake, a terrible and horrible mistake. What if Emily had discovered about it? What if she would leave him, again? He couldn't lose her. Not this time. He shook his head forcefully and stepped out of the shower. Putting on his dark red robe he opened the bathroom's door, being aware to not make too much noise He could see her back illuminated by the light coming from the half opened door of the bathroom. Her shoulders moved lightly up and down, something similar to a painful moan came from her. That suffocated noise could tell him only a thing. She was crying. She was crying because of him. He had made her feeling so down to cry. He felt his heart aching for her. Closing the door behind his back he walked over to her side of the bed, kneeling down on the little carpet, his upper body next to his shaking wife. He moved a lock of hair from her face and looked at her. The darkness prevented him from seeing her clearly, so he turned on the lamp on her nightstand.
He gasped at the sight.
Her cheeks were completely wet, as the pillow under her head. Her eyes were reddened by her weeping, as her nose was. Her lips were slightly swollen. By the way she looked he could tell she had cried for a long time. An hour or maybe more.
She looked at him silently, her tears still rolling down her cheeks.
He stared at her speechlessly. He was the one who had put her so down. He was the one who had made her cry for hours in their bed, alone.
"I'm sorry." He whispered caressing her hair gently.
She closed her eyes and buried her face in her hands.
"I didn't want to hurt you." He said in a low voice, moving her hands from her face gently.
"For what?" She asked, her voice broken by her sobs.
"For what I said tonight." He responded guilty.
She looked up at him and shook her head weakly. Then she looked down at her left hand. The golden ring. The symbol of their marriage. Or maybe not, maybe it was only the symbol of their failure now, she added a moment later in her mind. She grabbed the ring and took it off her slender finger. She stared at it silently for a long time, the name and the double dates engraved in it a painful addition to her current state. He stared at her confused. Then she took his left hand in hers and put the ring in it, before leaning back on the pillow.
"What does it mean?" He asked frightened.
Had she really decided to leave him? Again? Maybe it was for ever this time. He couldn't even think about that possibility. He swallowed hard and looked at her, waiting for her to respond. Praying silently to never hear the words he feared so much.
"That means that you're free Richard. I'm not your wife anymore. You're not my husband anymore." She said, her voice a whisper.
"What?" He gasped.
It was not possible. She had just said the words. She was leaving him. She was getting out of their marriage. He couldn't let this happen.
"I can't be your wife. You made a mistake when you chose me. I wasn't the one supposed to be your wife, and I spent my life paying for this." She said looking straight in his eyes.
"I didn't make a mistake, you know it Emily. I loved you and I chose you because of my love for you." He responded holding her hand in his, her wedding ring still in his left hand.
"You have never loved me." She whispered looking down at her lap.
"I have always loved you, and I will always love you, you know it." He said caressing her cheek.
She felt so hopeless. She felt weak and tired. Betrayed and confused. She breathed slowly for a while, before finding the force to go ahead.
"When I found that letter I was so angry with your mother. She had made me finding that stupid letter after forty years. She had asked you to leave me at the altar. She had considered me not good enough for you and your family." She started.
He looked at her shocked. He had never suspected she could have found the letter his mother wrote him the day before their wedding.
"And then I realized that your mother was right. I wasn't the right woman for you. I never gave you a male heir. I never stood up to her standards. I allowed your daughter getting pregnant at sixteen and then running away from you. You should have had married someone else instead of me. I wasn't supposed to be a Gilmore." She continued.
"But the worst part is that I never asked you to marry me. I let you know how I felt being with you. I let you know my feelings for you, but I never asked you to leave her. You decided to break the engagement. And then you proposed to me. It's hard realizing that you never considered me as an equal. That you never defended me in front of your mother, that you laughed about me with her. And that…." She had to stop for a moment. Her emotions overwhelmed her.
Her small frame was completely shaken by her sobs, her hands trembling against her face.
"And that you cheated on me." She finally said.
He looked at her speechlessly. Confused. How had she discovered about the lunch?
"Emily what are you talking about?" He asked a moment later.
"I saw you yesterday. I saw you with her, kissing her." She managed to respond before another wave of tears roll down her cheeks.
He felt the blood freezing in his veins. She had seen him making the worst mistake of his life.
"I can't still be your wife now." She whispered and then stood up from the bed.
"Emily, where are you going?" He asked staring at her walking towards the closet.
"I'm going out of this house. Out of your life." She said turning her head lightly to face him.
"Emily, let me explain." He pleaded.
She turned towards him forcefully.
"What? What do you want to explain? That your wife is a poor stupid that chats on and on about parties and tea? That she is not enough for you? That her life is meaningless and frivolous? That you needed more and so you decided to go back to her? If you want to explain this it's not necessary. I know it on my own." She yelled.
"Emily, please don't react like this." He said walking towards her.
"You kissed her. You cheated on me. And probably you made love to her for the entire duration of our marriage. I hate you Richard. You destroyed my life!" She cried out before letting her body fall on the floor.
She felt empty. She had cried all her tears. Her body was completely tired. Her legs folded under her weight.
"Emily." Richard said kneeling down to hold her.
He felt her body lying limply in his arms. Her head leaned on his inner elbow. He held her tightly against his chest.
"Emily, I'm sorry. I had been a stupid. A complete ass. Please believe me I never cheated on you. Never. I'm terribly sorry you saw me with her yesterday. I was confused about Rory and you seemed not to notice my worries. I found Pennilynn at the restaurant, accidentally. I was there to meet a client, but he didn't show up so when she heard I was there alone she sat down at my table and we talked for a while. She seemed so comprehensive and supportive. She seemed to really care about by worries. We spent a couple of hours together and then I found myself kissing her in the parking lot. The moment I realized what I was doing I immediately pulled away and I asked her to forget about it. It was nothing. I didn't really kiss her. I put my lips on hers for a second, time enough to realize that it was completely wrong. I love you Emily. And I'm deeply sorry for what I've done. Please believe me." He said in a low voice.
She was still abandoned in his arms, her eyes closed, her tears escaping from them abundantly.
"Emily." He called softly.
She didn't respond. She couldn't.
He saw her head rolling on the side. He called her name again, but she didn't respond.
He immediately took her on his arms and carried her towards the bed.
"Emily, please look at me. You're frightening me." He said quickly.
She opened her eyes slowly and nodded barely perceptibly.
She felt tired. Her head was spinning and the muscles on her stomach hurt. She had cried for what had seemed like an eternity and now her body was numb. She felt as if someone had stolen her life. Her soul had been so far away from her body.
He was her whole life. She had fallen in love with him the first time she had seen him. She had prayed silently for weeks before he finally asked her out for a serious date. She had prayed for him feeling the same she felt. She had cried her tears discovering about his engagement. She had avoided meeting him for a whole month. And then he had told her that he loved her, that he wanted to be with her and only her. He had proposed and she had accepted. They had gotten married, they had made love. They had become parents and then grandparents. She had devoted her life to him. She had renounced her career, her independence just for him. She had swallowed all of his mother insults just for him. She had gotten out from her bed after Lorelai run away just for him. Only for him.
And now she was dying for him. In his arms. She had lost him. She had lost her life.
He sat on his side of the bed, her body carefully laid against his. He caressed her hair, his right hand cupped her cheek gently.
He had never seen his wife like this. She had rarely cried in front of him. This was not his Emily. His Emily was lost somewhere inside of that body. He had to find her. To make her come back to him. To her life. He bent down and kissed her forehead gently.
She felt warmed for a moment by his lips on her skin.
She hated him but she couldn't live without him. He was her life.
She opened her eyes slowly and lifted herself up lightly, shortening the distance between their faces.
And then she put her lips on his and kissed him gently before her world blackened and her head fell on Richard's arm.
TO BE CONTINUED
Thanks to all for reading!! Please let a review if you want.... that would mean a lot for me!!
Let me know if you're interested enough in this story to want to read the rest....