Lots of contradiction with Spiral : alive's new canon points, but, well. Once upon a time everyone agreed that the Blade kids all used to live together in England and I started this before reading the volume 2 of alive, so there. Loosely based on the manga, kind of - means Eyes isn't that much of an icicle and Kanone isn't all that cracked up in the head. Yet.

I like writing Kousuke. He's fun. I don't do him any justice. I can't see him not swearing, though, so beware if that offends you for some reason.

As for pairings, there isn't any real main one, but the whole piece kinda focuses on Kanone and Eyes since I'm obsessed with them, and the other three sweeties aren't complete without their respective crushes. I guess you can choose to see what you want. Supposed to take place way before they meet Ayumu though, and no Hiyono either. Also no plot, and no real spoilers except if you don't know Kanone, which would be a shame.

And bwaah, Spiral is not mine. It belongs to Shirodaira Kyou and Mizuno Eita, Square Enix, Gangan Comics and all that jazz. Which is why I'm only writing fanfiction and all.

And, just a note before I stop bothering you : it's really infuriating when I get a review that makes me squeal out in delight, and I then realize that it isn't signed and I have no way of thanking the reviewer. Auugh. Mustypaperback, thank you so much for your wonderful review, dammit.

It's not jealousy, Kousuke swears. He knows about jealousy, all Blade Children do ; it comes with growing up watching all the other stupid kids happy, with their families whole and alive and loving and their loyal dogs and all their ribs. This, he decides, is more curiosity, interest, amazement maybe, or simply a way to cure his ever-present boredom. What does one do when one is bored out of one's mind and there's a mildly interesting subject in one's own house ? Okay, so this is Kanone's house (everything is always Kanone's), but Kousuke lives here too now, and Kanone and Eyes are interesting.

And Kousuke is always bored, so Kousuke watches.

Eyes Rutherford is not a very active person. He reads (and Kanone sits down beside him and reads over his shoulder), he sleeps (and Kanone plays with his hair until he wakes up), he plays the piano (and Kanone creeps up behind him slowly, silently, and comes to sit at his feet and listens, eyes closed, and it's never clear when exactly did Rutherford notice him but he always ends up playing Kanone's favourite pieces). He practices shooting guns in the basement or throwing knives outside with Kanone, he plays chess with Kanone, he eats with Kanone whatever it is that they've just cooked together. Kousuke watches all this and realizes that Eyes is never, ever alone for long.

"We are best friends," Rutherford answers after Kousuke has asked him three times and pressed a key relentlessly for five minutes. He closes the piano lid (Kousuke takes back his hand just in time) and turns around on his seat to face Kousuke, his face as blank as ever. "Must there be another reason ?"

There has to be, Kousuke thinks but dares not say. Because Kousuke knows about friends, from the time when he still lived with his mum and went to school and was popular. Little boys flocked to him, for some reason, came to his home sometimes and he was invited to birthday parties and stuff ; and he had a best friend he shared silly secrets and mocked the girls with, but it was nothing close to this. One day that boy, whose name he doesn't remember and doesn't care, spent the night over at Kousuke's house, and yes, they slept in the same bed — but he didn't huddle to the boy and didn't twine his fingers in the boy's hair and didn't touch the boy's face, he didn't stare at the boy in the pale morning light and didn't listen to his breathing.

So they hadn't been friends for as long as Kanone and Eyes have, they hadn't been through the death of loved ones together and they didn't share the fate of being Blade Children. Their bond wasn't that strong (as proof, Kousuke can't remember that boy's name or face or the last time they saw each other or anything), but he knows that that... whatever, that weird something he feels about the situation, comes from Kanone and Eyes. Kanone, especially.

"We're that close, huh ?" Kanone says when Kousuke tells him a (small) part of his observations. Kousuke knows he's trying to sound surprised and amused but is actually strangely proud, and there's a bit of pride, of boast, somewhere in his voice. "Listen," he whispers after a few seconds of quick thinking, "don't tell him, okay ? But it's like he's my little brother."

Now that's something else. Kousuke stares.

"But," Kanone adds and his gaze is weirdly shifty like he's nervous, of all things, "please, Asazuki, keep your big mouth shut about that."

Kanone is never nervous. Or that's what they all think, at least. So Kousuke shrugs and gives his word ; Kanone should know by now he doesn't necessarily always keep it, but seems relieved. Doesn't matter much, anyway.

Brother.

Now that's something else.

Kousuke doesn't know much about brothers, he never had any (although he supposes that they're all kind of siblings — but he's positive that's not what Kanone meant). He knows someone who has one, though.

Kiyotaka is, in some way, a bit obsessed with his younger brother too, but it's not the same. He says they're the ones who should care about him. Kousuke once asked him about that famous brother of his, a long time ago when he'd been mildly interested in their so-called saviour.

"I think you, Kousuke, will like Ayumu," Kiyotaka had said. And he had been quiet and thoughtful a few moments, and then he'd added "or maybe you'll hate his guts" like it wasn't a total contradiction.

Kousuke had rolled his eyes ; he's always been as good at being annoyed as Kiyotaka at being annoying. And vague.

"Do you ?" he'd asked on impulse. "Like him, I mean."

Kiyotaka had been quiet again, longer.

"I don't know," he'd eventually answered, his voice low and grave. "I do not think so, not really. I need him but I do not like him."

So much for brotherly love. Kousuke already knew that wasn't it, anyway. He doesn't know much about brothers but he doesn't believe normal people act around their brothers like Kanone acts around Rutherford. Unless they're incestuous, but Kousuke doesn't know much about that either and doesn't want to.

"What's on your mind ?" Ryouko asks suddenly with a small slap on his forehead. "Get it out, there isn't enough room in there for many thoughts."

And about that, Ryouko has nothing to do with incest, Kousuke firmly tells himself. He winces and avoids the question with the first thing that comes to his mind. "It's nothing, just... Kanone creeps me out."

Hey, it's true.

"That's not all of it," Ryouko immediately snarls back. "Kanone creeps out everyone but it doesn't really bother any of us that much, we're still here, right ?"

Kousuke just laughs it off and she lets him, though he can see that she's still a bit concerned. He doesn't know why he can't tell her.

Maybe because she'd probably call him an idiot.

"You're an idiot," Rio sighs when he tells her.

"Hey !" he frowns. "Don't tell me they're just friends, I don't watch Ryouko sleep !"

"Because unlike Eyes-kun, Ryouko-chan would kick your ass as soon as she knew. And don't tell me you don't want to sometimes."

"Kick her ass ? Hell yeah, but —"

"I mean, watch her sleep."

He falls quiet all of a sudden. Yes, the idea has popped a few times in his mind and he's even tried once, when she was having a nap on the sofa. He liked it, kind of. He certainly enjoys the thought of laying beside her, running his fingers through her soft boy-short hair, caressing her cheek...

"But she kicks like a little devil," he blurts out.

Rio laughs, a little devil of her own kind. "You love it, you moron," she grins.

"Are you crazy ?! It really hurts !"

Rio says she knows what's with Kanone and Eyes, and it has to be taken into consideration because Rio knows just about everything. Like Kousuke's attempt to spy on Ryouko in the shower last night, and who broke Kanone's favourite plate for feeding the cats. But she doesn't seem to be aware of the fact that she's got a gigantic crush on Rutherford, or that Kousuke loves her just as much as he loves Ryouko — though maybe not quite in the same way, more like a little... sister, oh, please, here comes the headache.

She doesn't know that yesterday, a man was following her after school, hunting her, and she doesn't know that Kousuke pulled that man in an empty dead-end alley and made quick work of leaving him cold on the pavement to soak in his blood and guts, a cut like an iris flower blooming on his cheek.

She doesn't know just how many times Kousuke has killed for her and how many times he would, will, do it again.

He started killing for Ryouko. He remembers : "for" her, like a twisted birthday present, an horribly wrong choice. She hated it, still does, and so now he doesn't kill for her but to protect her. He tries not to think that she probably sees that as "because" of her. It's not, though, he can't really explain it to anyone and certainly not to her, but it's not her fault. He was doomed to this like every one of them, anyway.

He kills for Rio as well now, from time to time. It's getting more and more often lately, next time he'll have to tell Kanone and they'll be on the move again, one weird little family of deadly parentless kids.

He almost killed for Rutherford, once, but didn't have time to because suddenly Kanone was there, golden eyes blazing with fury, gun in his right hand, knife in his left hand and blood on both. The fury left him as he helped Rutherford up, and the blood seeped in long strands of silver hair. Kanone kills for Rutherford all the time, all the time, and never lets anyone else protect him ; he taught him how to defend himself but never let him the opportunity to try for real, even though Rutherford is more than capable of fighting now.

Kanone.

Kills.

To protect Rutherford.

But it's not the same, really, Kousuke reasons, it's not like what he does. Kanone lives killing ; Kousuke likes hurting things and seeing the pain he inflicts on living beings, enjoys the act of taking a life, draws some sort of pride and satisfaction from it, but Kanone doesn't even think about it. Kanone's body acts on its own and killing is a vital reflex, killing is like breathing. And Kanone protects Rutherford because he says Rutherford is too nice and soft. He doesn't kill for Kousuke because Kousuke doesn't need his help, not for Rio either because she's tougher than she looks, not for Ryouko because she has to learn (at least that's what he says, and anyway Kousuke is there to take care of her).

Moreover, Kanone doesn't kill for them because he cares for them, really, but just not quite that much. He does for Rutherford, though, and so he protects him in all ways he can.

Kanone cares for Eyes. A lot. An awful lot.

Kousuke is aware of that. He also knows he shouldn't ponder the reason of such affection, it's just not something to do ; caring is a wonderful thing, it's great for Kanone and Eyes to have such a tight bond and it's not his place to pry, blah blah blah. But somehow he can't stop wondering.

He tells himself that they're his friends, too, kind of. Even though they both creep him out a bit. But he loves them, too, he'd kill for them if, for some reason, Kanone wasn't able to protect himself or Eyes. He tells himself it's because he cares for them as well that he wonders exactly what it is that he can feel between them.

Because Kousuke isn't great at caring, but he knows one thing about it : caring hurts. In more ways than one.

There's the way most people know, which is that if you care for someone, you're hurt when they're hurt. There's the way everybody claims to know but few people truly understand, which is that caring for someone hurts a hell of a lot when that person disappears. And there's the way Kousuke knows for being one of the Blade Children : if caring makes you strong, caring too much destroys. Both sides.

And he gets the feeling sometimes that Kanone cares way too much. It's fleeting, discreet, when Kanone laughs and hugs Rutherford ; it's stronger when he catches Kanone watching Rutherford sleep, and it's impossible to ignore and it gives him a headache when he meets Rutherford's eyes. Kanone cares way too much and it's going to get them all into a world of trouble.

But, Kousuke realizes upon waking up one day, late into the afternoon and the scent of bacon floating up to his room from the kitchen, it doesn't really matter. Since Kanone protects Rutherford from everything. And even if he didn't realize that he was the one hurting his precious Eyes, the rest of them are still there, too.

Kousuke kills for Rutherford the next day.

It's early in the morning, the sky still dark as ink. Kousuke was heading home to get into bed and so his mind is a bit fuzzy ; the Hunter's body is floating in the river and he's licking his blade clean when he realizes, it's too early for even Rutherford to be up and wandering the streets.

He looks over his shoulder. Rutherford is still kneeling on the pavement, same place, same position as when Kousuke arrived. He hasn't moved since Kousuke's here, he wasn't moving even though the Hunter was aiming a gun at him. Kousuke suddenly feels there's something terribly wrong.

He slips his knife back in his pocket and turns around, frowning. "You hurt ?" he asks, voice calm even though he's dead worried inside.

Rutherford doesn't answer, doesn't look up, and Kousuke tries not to run as he comes to kneel down beside him and shake him lightly.

"Hey, Rutherford, what —"

"Kanone's gone."

His voice is as emotionless as ever but Kousuke almost jumps at the way he says Kanone's name. There was always some warmth when he said it, up until now, carefully hidden behind all the walls but still there, easy to find for who cared to look for it. Up until now.

Still, Kousuke remembers the time and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, well, he's at home, sleeping like we both should be," he remarks.

He kinda feels like scolding a little kid. What are you doing out at this hour, see, that's what happens when you wander off alone, come home with me now and just you wait till your momma learns about this.

Rutherford shakes his head and grabs his arm, and Kousuke has no idea how blood got on his face but can't really think about it any deeper. Because Rutherford is looking straight at him, and Kousuke is reminded yet again that his first name isn't Eyes for nothing.

"No, Kousuke," he whispers, and there's something awfully close to desperation in the way he says his name.

His grip on Kousuke's arm tightens and his pretty manicured nails are boring in his arm and his eyes are staring into Kousuke's, and it's his eyes that hurt the most. They're blue, Kousuke notices idly once again, they're pleading and begging for him to understand and there's hopelessness and a piece of the sky in them and shit, he's going to cry.

Which means Kousuke is screwed.

Because Eyes never, never ever cries, never has and never will, Kanone makes sure of that. Kanone protects him and cries in his stead and therefore decides what is worth crying for, what is important. And Kanone sure wouldn't deem anything worth crying for in front of Kousuke, wouldn't deem Kousuke worthy of seeing Eyes cry. Kanone would never let Kousuke be that important, that close, to Eyes.

And so Kousuke is screwed. Kanone is going to kill him — or better, make him suffer a lot, for a long, long time, and not let him die — as soon as he learns of this, which is as soon as they get home because Kanone knows everything about Eyes. Kousuke is completely, hopelessly screwed now, thank you very much, Rutherford, geez.

Except.

"Kanone's gone," Eyes says again.

Kousuke shakes his head and twists his pinky finger in his ear, as if to unplug it.

"What."

"Kanone's" and Eyes can't finish that sentence again but he bites his lip, his pretty flawless girly lip that Kousuke shouldn't be staring at now or ever, and Kousuke can't pretend he doesn't understand.

"Shit," he says.

They get home, somehow. Eyes, Rutherford, managed to get blood in his hair and on his clothes as well, Kousuke has no idea how but it's there and starting to dry ; so he flees to the bathroom before Kousuke can corner him and ask him just what the fuck happened. Kousuke sighs and decides to quickly check in Kanone's room, before the sound of the water wakes up Ryouko next door.

Except he stands there a long time, probably looking like an idiot, staring at the doorknob. Because if Kanone is sleeping in there, Kousuke is screwed times two : no one disturbs Kanone (except Eyes), and no one goes into Kanone's room (except Eyes). Which only makes two, because Rutherford didn't actually cry in the end ; and of course Kousuke never believed in God (well, except Kiyotaka who doesn't count), and still doesn't, but he thanks Him heartily anyway.

Kousuke hears fumbling and the sound of a heavy blanket tumbling to the floor in Ryouko's room, so he quickly takes in a deep breath and opens Kanone's door. Just a crack.

Then wider, and he steps in without thinking about it, and squeezes the doorknob to steady himself because he's suddenly dizzy.

Kanone's room is empty. Well, not really empty, there's a bed and a dresser and a bookshelf and stuffed cats in the corner and all in all it looks like a very normal room ; but still empty, as in, no scary psychopath sleeping on the bed, curled up in the sheets and hugging a pillow and looking cute like any normal kid.

Ryouko comes out, he can hear her stomping in the hallway and the door to her room banging shut.

"What the hell, it's half past four, what the — Kousuke ?"

He looks over his shoulder to see her standing in the door frame, dead still in pink pajamas and pigtails, her toes naked on the floorboards just before the invisible borderline of the threshold, eyes wide.

"Kousuke ?" she whispers again, voice weirdly shy and just barely not shaking.

"Kanone's gone," he hears himself say.

She stares at him like she doesn't quite understand what he just said ; he isn't sure he understands it himself.

Down the hallway, the sound of the water pouring in the bathtub is almost deafening.

When Rutherford finally gets out of the bathroom, his hair still dripping water on his shoulders and his face tired and his eyes haunted, he passes them without looking at them and locks himself up in his room. Kousuke scowls and Ryouko sighs, and says "I won't even try to go back to sleep now".

They sit down in the kitchen and drink coffee and talk in low voices ; what might have happened, could Rutherford be crying now, whose fault can this be, how did that Hunter find him, when do they have to leave, is there any chance that Kanone will be coming back. A few minutes, or hours, later, the sun is rising, and for little girls who only look young, it's time to get up and go to school ; Rio joins them in the kitchen, stifling a yawn in the long sleeve of her nightdress and tripping over a cat.

"Morning Ryouko-chan, Kousuke-kun..." Her large innocent eyes, still full of sleep, blink and travel all around the room. "Isn't Kanone-kun up yet ?" she mutters.

Ryouko bites her lip again, bruised from nibbling at it in worry and tearing off little bits of skin for much too long. Kousuke feels like kissing that lip sometimes, often even, but not right now.

Rio cries when they tell her. She tries not to and she chokes on her sobs and makes a strange squealing noise, and Ryouko gives her a handkerchief and strokes her hair and looks like she's going to cry too. They're strong, both of them, stronger than they look and so much stronger than any normal person, but there's no need to hold back right now and they're still girls, they're still kids, and even Kousuke feels like crying just a bit.

Kanone is creepy but he's family, he's as big a part of the family as any of them, and the house feels so damn weird without him.

"Why ?" Rio finally whispers in a small, strangled voice.

"Ask Rutherford," Kousuke shrugs and tries to look like he doesn't care. He hates to disappoint the girls but this is still much better than having to ask Rutherford himself.

But Rio shakes her head. "I won't," she sniffs and wipes her nose. "I won't ask him anything. I'll listen if he wants to talk, but I won't ask."

Kousuke knows the feeling, and thus can't bring himself to say anything. He sighs and puts his hand on her head, lightly, softly, and lets his thumb brush over the long grey strands and Ryouko's fingers.

Rio doesn't go to school that morning. They don't even bring up the topic, none of them wants her to go, for very different reasons ; Rio wants to be there when Rutherford gets out of his room, Ryouko feels better with someone even more emotional than her and Kousuke is sure the Hunter wasn't alone.

Kousuke is starting to cook lunch and Ryouko and Rio are pretending to watch the TV when Rutherford comes down. They all stand up as one and stare at him hopefully.

"He said we shouldn't be allowed to live," he says as a greeting, his face as blank as ever but even paler. "He said he's only going to kill Blade Children from now on, no innocents anymore, and he's going to become a Hunter and get this world free from the Blade Children. Make us disappear, all of us."

Ryouko gasps and Rio chokes back another sob.

"We're leaving," Rutherford adds, and it's no surprise to any of them.

They go back to Japan. It's too obvious a choice — three of them were born there and the last one is at least half Japanese — but it's the only place they can think of. The only other language they all speak is German, and even mentioning Germany is out of the question.

"But what the hell got to him all of a sudden ?!" Kousuke finally explodes at the airport.

He isn't aiming this question at anyone, doesn't expect anyone to answer, and is surprised when he hears a small voice.

"I have no idea."

Rutherford hasn't looked up and Kousuke's stunned to realize that that quiet, tired, scared voice was his.

"Sorry," he mumbles, feeling a bit guilty.

Rutherford shakes his head as if to say it doesn't matter, but doesn't actually say anything. He looks as though he's reading the magazine Ryouko picked up earlier, but his eyes aren't moving.

And damn him, Kousuke feels very guilty now.

There's a good ten minutes of quiet between them (only between them, since the speakers are so loud and they can hear Rio's shouting at Ryouko in the close-by bookshop), during which Kousuke feels some more guilt and debates with himself that he did nothing wrong, for once. Just when he finally admits that he's got to apologize, somehow, and preferably not too explicitly or he's going to make a fool of himself again, there's another announcement on the speakers and Rutherford raises his head and says, "That's your plane".

Kousuke starts. "What ?"

Rutherford gives him a sidelong glance, the one that says he isn't even going to bother answering that. Kousuke knows that glance well and does not like it.

"What do you mean, 'your' ?" he insists. "Aren't you — aren't you coming with us ?" And then, because he's really starting to resent the haughty stare : "What the hell, Rutherford, don't be a fucking idiot."

Not now, not you too.

Rio doesn't cry this time. She knew.

"There were only three tickets," she says, voice flat, as they look for their seats in the plane. "And Eyes-kun didn't load any luggage."

"What ?" Kousuke doesn't get it. "What the heck are you talking about, Rio, he packed all his things like us ! You blackmailed me into helping him pack !"

Rio sighs, a short aggravated sigh that means she didn't think that even Kousuke was that stupid and she shouldn't have to explain. Kousuke fucking hates that sigh, Kousuke's hating a lot of things right now. "Yes, he packed, but he didn't take any of his bags with him in the airport. He left them in the taxi. He told us where to go and what to do in Japan. It was obvious, really," she adds, her voice light and distant and a bit eerie and Kousuke hates that voice as well.

Once upon a time, he remembers, Rio was distressed and worried out of her mind every time Rutherford went somewhere alone. Once upon a time, and not too long ago, he was sure Rio would have cried herself into exhaustion for at least a full week if Rutherford had left them.

(But he wouldn't have, because Kanone would have been there, he'd never have even thought about leaving had Kanone been there. Stupid Kanone, this is all your fault, fucking bastard.)

"You don't get it, do you ?" Rio says with that despicable detached voice.

No, he doesn't get it, doesn't get anything — why isn't Rutherford coming, why didn't Rio make him, why is she so fucking calm about it and why is Ryouko so quiet.

Ryouko has always said she disliked (despised) Rutherford and Kousuke knows full well why, but she still looks uneasy. No matter why you resent somebody, what they've done to you, you can't live with them for years and not feel anything when you lose them. And Kousuke doesn't know if she's thinking about it too, but the last few days remind him of a snowball rolling down a hill — Kanone left them, Eyes stayed behind, and now Rio's acting weird and Ryouko's looking haunted and Kousuke's deathly afraid of what's happened to their little family.

During the flight, Rio falls asleep on his shoulder, looking as carefree and cute as always but her mouth bitter, and Ryouko pointedly stares through the window and locks herself up in her silence.

Kousuke doesn't dare say anything.

They scatter as soon as they arrive in Japan. Kousuke gets the feeling they can't bear to pretend they're a solid and united group any longer.

Rio and Ryouko register in that Tsukiomi school, that much he knows ; but they aren't in the same class and they don't even talk of sharing an apartment, even though that would be the smartest solution.

They wouldn't be able to stand it.

Kousuke doesn't register, of course ; he isn't going to that school or any without a damn good reason. Still, he keeps contact with the girls enough to learn their apartment's addresses and that Ryouko has joined the running-track club. She's always liked running ; he wonders sometimes if she thinks she might, one day, run long and far and fast enough to run away from Fate.

But she's no idiot, he knows.

They've been in Japan for a few weeks when Rio phones him to tell him to look at the TV ; he does, and turns it off and hangs up on the giggling girl. He sits down because his legs are going weak again.

Then he turns the TV back on. He just can't believe it.

It's Rutherford, damn pretty piano-obsessed Eyes Rutherford, playing a piece Kousuke doesn't recall on his TV screen.

His phone rings again and he picks it up like it's all the machine's fault. "The hell ?!" he says, because that's his thoughts exactly.

Rio giggles again. "Eyes-kun's become famous. I've always said he's a genius." No, she hasn't. Kanone's the one who always said it, and she simply agreed every single time. "This way it'll be easy for us to find him if we ever need to contact him," she remarks.

"It'll be easy for Kanone to find him," Kousuke mutters, because that's the only reason Rutherford would bother to drag attention on himself and make it easier for Hunters to locate him.

Yeah. Now, Kanone and Hunters are the same. Gotta remember that.

Rio says "Mou, stupid Kousuke-kun !" and hangs up. She's right.

It's also thanks to the TV that, a year later, he finds out Rutherford has come to Japan.

Bastard phones him, of course (knew Kousuke would still have his old cellular phone). He wouldn't have, he says, but Rio contacted him.

"And what's that to do with me, I haven't seen that scary crazy lolita in a year and I don't plan to," Kousuke whines.

Rutherford laughs. Well, more like snickers, actually, but it still qualifies as a laugh and Kousuke wonders if becoming a world-wide star can change people so much. "Well," Rutherford says then and Kousuke can practically hear the smirk in his voice, "I had the feeling you would want to meet Narumi otouto."

For a second, Kousuke wishes he were in front of him just so he could send Rutherford's way the 'I can't believe you're so stupid' stare. "I don't. You're the only one to believe in him, you know."

There's a pause in the other end of the line, and he wonders what expression Rutherford is wearing now and whether he would recognize it, whether Rutherford has actually changed so much.

"I know," Rutherford finally whispers. "I know, and even I am beginning to wonder why. So I thought you'd enjoy playing around with Narumi otouto's mind for a little bit, test him and see for yourself what he really is like."

"Which is ?"

"I've only seen him once for now, and so far, he seems..." and Kousuke knows the thoughtful pause there is deliberate, "... pretty pathetic."

Kousuke laughs, a real laugh this once, a long and genuine howling laughter. "Alright," he says when he's calmed down, "alright, you really haven't changed at all."