Cut

Cut!

By Paul

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A/N: Like I said in the summary if this it too much like someone else's I'll apologise to the person concerned and take it down, as I don't want to fall foul of anyone. Be nice! First fic (but I've been lurking about for 3 months)

If the formatting is off I am again sorry. Grammar isn't my strong point but if you post my mistakes in the review and I'll attempt to change them. Or you could just e-mail me: sherlock_the_detective@hotmail.com. Explanation as to the name, I was on a Sherlock Holmes RPG 2 years ago and I sort of got this e-mail address on a whim.

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, they are all © to Ms Joanne Rowling. The bits I used from the books belong to Ms Rowling, don't sue as I used the bits to create the story!

Ok I have wasted your time with this bit, onwards my friends to the story! Hope you like it J if not I'll take it down as there is no point in having bad work up and get flamed constantly L ::walks off singing "Auld Lang Syne"::

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"Two up…three across…" he muttered. "Right, stand back, Harry."

He tapped the wall three times with the point of his umbrella.

Nothing happened.

"Now that is strange." Hagrid muttered.

"No! Cut!" An irritated women shouted running onto the set waving a script. "It's three up, two across!"

"Ah, I'm sorry Ms Rowling." Hagrid apologised. "Can we try again?"

"Later, take a break Hagrid, Harry we're going to do the 'Sorting Scene'."

"Hey, I'm in that!"

"Yes," Ms Rowling agreed. "I'll paste you in later dear, now come along Harry." She pushed Harry along and out of the scene.

Maybe they had to get a rabbit out of it, Harry thought wildly, that seemed the sort of thing - noticing that everyone in the hall was now staring at the hat, he stared too. For a few seconds, there was complete silence. Then the hat twitched. A rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth - and the hat burped.

"Oops, pardon me." The hat said as the great hall burst into hysterics. "Terribly sorry."

Ms Rowling came onto the scene crying with laughter also.

"It's okay." She managed to gasp. "You go and take a break. Severus, when you've stopped laughing we'll do the 'Potions Scene'," Ms Rowling walked off carrying the embarrassed hat, as the hall was still racked with gales of laughter.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making," he began. He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every word - like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort. "As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with it's shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through the human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the sense … I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even stopper death - if you aren't as big bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

More silence followed this little speech. Harry and Ron exchanged looks with raised eyebrows. Hermione Granger was on the edge of her set and looked desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead.

"Potter!" said Snape suddenly. "What would you…" but his sentenced was interrupted by a large crash, the class looked round. Hermione Granger had fallen of her seat headfirst and was now sprawled on the dungeon floor. "Hermione." Snape said holding back the laughter.

"Sorry." She said meekly picking herself up.

Ms Rowling walked on looking annoyed. "Are we actually going to get a scene done today without you lot mucking things up!?" she demanded.

"Sorry." The dungeon chorused.

"No, dungeon you're doing fine. It's just my characters can't seem to get things right today." She looked at the class and Snape holding back their laughter. "Will resume tomorrow." She said wearily. These characters were worse than the children she used to teach.

Finis - for now anyway (I have to go pee!) ::runs off in the direction of the bathroom::

A/N again: If you like I will do more. If you don't like I'll not.