Title: Family Portrait
Author: Emily (angel_gurl_124@hotmail.com)
Summary: Song fic to Pink's "Family Portrait." Basically, a Dawn/Buffy POV Fic about when Joyce and Hank get divorced.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Before Season 1, so, the movie, and possibly the suggestion of the family moving to Sunnydale.
Disclaimer: The song is not mine, the characters are not mine, is anything mine? No, don't sue, because all you'll get are some Creamsavers and some Juicy Fruit gum.
Note: I changed a little part of the song that talks about a little brother, because, obviously, Buffy doesn't have a brother. Duh!
Part 1/1
I stare at the ceiling, because I can't sleep. The sound of a slamming door echoes in my ears.
"I hate you!" my father screams, as he storms out of the living room.
"Leave! Just leave!" my mother yells after him.
I'm fifteen years old, and I'm going through something almost everyone my age has already been through. My parents are getting divorced.
My mother's sobs make it to my ears, and I break down. I hate it, I hate to here her cry.
// Mama please stop cryin'
I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and it's
Tearing me down //
I hide under the covers, because, maybe, if I pretend it's not happening, it won't. My mommy's crying, and I can't help her. I can't help her, because I'm so scared of my daddy.
Things used to be right. Things used to make sense to me and Buffy. But, they don't anymore. Things are so confusing. Buffy's never home, unless she's sleeping or eating, and daddy's always drinking. He never tells me he loves me, and he doesn't read me bed time stories. I used to love the one about the lion and the mouse.
// I hear glasses breaking
As I sit up in my bed
I told God you didn't mean
Those nasty things you said
You fight about money
About me and my sister
And this I come home to
This is my shelter //
Glass breaks, and I think it's the coffee table's top. I sit up, and pray to God, I ask him to forgive my dad.
They fight so much, it's horrible. They fight about Dawnie, and about me. They fight about my late-night adventures, and if their raising me right or not. Dawn's an innocent in this, but they drag her into their arguments. He says she was an accident, and that he didn't really want her. And it scares me. I know he would never do anything to hurt Dawn and me, but it's all too real.
Sometimes, I feel like it's my fault. And, my father's told me that so many times, I believe it. I think about telling them about my destiny, but I know they would freak. They'd yell and me, and probably send me to some mental hospital. But, deep down, I know I can't help it. I'm meant to fight vampires, and it's not my fault that I had to burn down the school to do it.
// It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family //
I thought my mommy and daddy loved each other. But, sometimes, I think it's not true. Why did they get married then, if they're just going to fight all the time? I peek my head out from underneath the heavy quilt, and can see mommy's shadow moving around.
I carefully slide out of bed, because I know it's safe. There's no more yelling or screaming. I tip-toe into the kitchen, and Mommy's sitting there, smoking. She hasn't smoked for a long, long time.
"What's wrong?" I ask innocently.
"Nothing sweetie, go back to bed." Even though I know she's lying, I obey.
// Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
Daddy please don't leave //
Those picture perfect families, why can't I belong to one? Why can't I be a part of a family, where the mom is always cleaning and baking cakes, and the dad works at a big office, and makes a lot of money, but is always home for diner and family outings? And where the little sister is shielded from everything, and where I'm not the Slayer?
I can only wish, because this is reality, however hateful it may be.
I can hear Dawn out of bed, and I know that Daddy's gone. I don't know if he's ever coming back. Hot tears roll down my face, and I turn over in bed, and close my eyes. I lay against the pillow, until I can't breathe, and then I finally raise up. The lamp light shines against the window, and I can see my dad's car pull out of the driveway. He must have sat there forever, or at least until he could drive without releasing his anger on innocent bystanders.
// Daddy please stop yelling
I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin'
'Cause I need you around
My mama she loves you
No matter what she says is true
I know that she hurts you
But remember I love you too! //
I heard him pull away, and now I hear him return. He is still angry, and is very drunk.
"It's over!" I hear him say to my mother. "I want a divorce!"
"Fine by me! I hate you!" she replies. Tears pour down my face, and I feel like running away. I want a new family, one that doesn't have problems, and one that loves each other.
// I ran away today, ran from the noise
Ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place
But don't have no choice, no way //
A divorce. No, I don't want to be split up! What if I have to live with my dad, and Dawn has to live with my mom? I have to protect Dawnie, from everything.
Love. There is no love in this family. It's full of hate towards each other. It's destroyed our family. And, one day it will destroy me.
// It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be
But I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family //
It must be really late, but I can't close my eyes. But, maybe, if I do, I'll wake up and this will all be a dream, no a nightmare. I'll wake up, and Daddy will be here, and Mommy will be happy. And we'll have the perfect little family, just like in our family picture last year.
I realize that I'm not going to wake up, and that this is real life. It scares me. No more Daddy. No more living together. I'll have to live with Mommy one week, and Daddy the next. We'll never be a real family, because real families don't fight.
Why can't we pretend? Why can't we tell everyone we're happy, and that we're still a family. We have problems, but no one has to know about them.
// In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it
Comes naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays I don't want two addresses
I don't want a stepbrother anyway
And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name! //
Oh, god, it's all my fault. It's true. I haven't done so many things. I don't listen to my parents, and I don't do what they want me to. Mom, I'll be better, I'll do anything you want me to do. Just, don't let Dad leave.
// Mama'll be nicer
I'll be so much better
I'll tell my sister
I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better
I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night //
Daddy...don't leave. I lay awake, and the sun is almost up. My dad comes into my room, kisses my forehead, and says he's sorry. He has an overnight bag in his hand, and I know he's leaving. But, why? Why does he have to leave me? I'll miss him so much.
// Daddy don't leave... daddy don't leave //
"Your dad is going away," my mom says. I know what it means. He's leaving us. Last night he told me he was sorry, and kissed my cheek.
"What are we going to do?" Dawn asks quietly.
"We're going to start over," my mother replies. She's so much more together today. And, I think maybe she's right. We're going to start over.
"But, where?" I ask.
"A place called Sunnydale. You'll have a new school, new friends, and a new house." she replies.
"When are we leaving?" Dawn asks.
"As soon as we can. As soon as we can," she says, and embraces Dawn and me in a hug.
*
End
Author: Emily (angel_gurl_124@hotmail.com)
Summary: Song fic to Pink's "Family Portrait." Basically, a Dawn/Buffy POV Fic about when Joyce and Hank get divorced.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Before Season 1, so, the movie, and possibly the suggestion of the family moving to Sunnydale.
Disclaimer: The song is not mine, the characters are not mine, is anything mine? No, don't sue, because all you'll get are some Creamsavers and some Juicy Fruit gum.
Note: I changed a little part of the song that talks about a little brother, because, obviously, Buffy doesn't have a brother. Duh!
Part 1/1
I stare at the ceiling, because I can't sleep. The sound of a slamming door echoes in my ears.
"I hate you!" my father screams, as he storms out of the living room.
"Leave! Just leave!" my mother yells after him.
I'm fifteen years old, and I'm going through something almost everyone my age has already been through. My parents are getting divorced.
My mother's sobs make it to my ears, and I break down. I hate it, I hate to here her cry.
// Mama please stop cryin'
I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and it's
Tearing me down //
I hide under the covers, because, maybe, if I pretend it's not happening, it won't. My mommy's crying, and I can't help her. I can't help her, because I'm so scared of my daddy.
Things used to be right. Things used to make sense to me and Buffy. But, they don't anymore. Things are so confusing. Buffy's never home, unless she's sleeping or eating, and daddy's always drinking. He never tells me he loves me, and he doesn't read me bed time stories. I used to love the one about the lion and the mouse.
// I hear glasses breaking
As I sit up in my bed
I told God you didn't mean
Those nasty things you said
You fight about money
About me and my sister
And this I come home to
This is my shelter //
Glass breaks, and I think it's the coffee table's top. I sit up, and pray to God, I ask him to forgive my dad.
They fight so much, it's horrible. They fight about Dawnie, and about me. They fight about my late-night adventures, and if their raising me right or not. Dawn's an innocent in this, but they drag her into their arguments. He says she was an accident, and that he didn't really want her. And it scares me. I know he would never do anything to hurt Dawn and me, but it's all too real.
Sometimes, I feel like it's my fault. And, my father's told me that so many times, I believe it. I think about telling them about my destiny, but I know they would freak. They'd yell and me, and probably send me to some mental hospital. But, deep down, I know I can't help it. I'm meant to fight vampires, and it's not my fault that I had to burn down the school to do it.
// It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family //
I thought my mommy and daddy loved each other. But, sometimes, I think it's not true. Why did they get married then, if they're just going to fight all the time? I peek my head out from underneath the heavy quilt, and can see mommy's shadow moving around.
I carefully slide out of bed, because I know it's safe. There's no more yelling or screaming. I tip-toe into the kitchen, and Mommy's sitting there, smoking. She hasn't smoked for a long, long time.
"What's wrong?" I ask innocently.
"Nothing sweetie, go back to bed." Even though I know she's lying, I obey.
// Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
Daddy please don't leave //
Those picture perfect families, why can't I belong to one? Why can't I be a part of a family, where the mom is always cleaning and baking cakes, and the dad works at a big office, and makes a lot of money, but is always home for diner and family outings? And where the little sister is shielded from everything, and where I'm not the Slayer?
I can only wish, because this is reality, however hateful it may be.
I can hear Dawn out of bed, and I know that Daddy's gone. I don't know if he's ever coming back. Hot tears roll down my face, and I turn over in bed, and close my eyes. I lay against the pillow, until I can't breathe, and then I finally raise up. The lamp light shines against the window, and I can see my dad's car pull out of the driveway. He must have sat there forever, or at least until he could drive without releasing his anger on innocent bystanders.
// Daddy please stop yelling
I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin'
'Cause I need you around
My mama she loves you
No matter what she says is true
I know that she hurts you
But remember I love you too! //
I heard him pull away, and now I hear him return. He is still angry, and is very drunk.
"It's over!" I hear him say to my mother. "I want a divorce!"
"Fine by me! I hate you!" she replies. Tears pour down my face, and I feel like running away. I want a new family, one that doesn't have problems, and one that loves each other.
// I ran away today, ran from the noise
Ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place
But don't have no choice, no way //
A divorce. No, I don't want to be split up! What if I have to live with my dad, and Dawn has to live with my mom? I have to protect Dawnie, from everything.
Love. There is no love in this family. It's full of hate towards each other. It's destroyed our family. And, one day it will destroy me.
// It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be
But I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family //
It must be really late, but I can't close my eyes. But, maybe, if I do, I'll wake up and this will all be a dream, no a nightmare. I'll wake up, and Daddy will be here, and Mommy will be happy. And we'll have the perfect little family, just like in our family picture last year.
I realize that I'm not going to wake up, and that this is real life. It scares me. No more Daddy. No more living together. I'll have to live with Mommy one week, and Daddy the next. We'll never be a real family, because real families don't fight.
Why can't we pretend? Why can't we tell everyone we're happy, and that we're still a family. We have problems, but no one has to know about them.
// In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it
Comes naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays I don't want two addresses
I don't want a stepbrother anyway
And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name! //
Oh, god, it's all my fault. It's true. I haven't done so many things. I don't listen to my parents, and I don't do what they want me to. Mom, I'll be better, I'll do anything you want me to do. Just, don't let Dad leave.
// Mama'll be nicer
I'll be so much better
I'll tell my sister
I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better
I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night //
Daddy...don't leave. I lay awake, and the sun is almost up. My dad comes into my room, kisses my forehead, and says he's sorry. He has an overnight bag in his hand, and I know he's leaving. But, why? Why does he have to leave me? I'll miss him so much.
// Daddy don't leave... daddy don't leave //
"Your dad is going away," my mom says. I know what it means. He's leaving us. Last night he told me he was sorry, and kissed my cheek.
"What are we going to do?" Dawn asks quietly.
"We're going to start over," my mother replies. She's so much more together today. And, I think maybe she's right. We're going to start over.
"But, where?" I ask.
"A place called Sunnydale. You'll have a new school, new friends, and a new house." she replies.
"When are we leaving?" Dawn asks.
"As soon as we can. As soon as we can," she says, and embraces Dawn and me in a hug.
*
End