Title: "Jesse's Surprise"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R for sexual references and semi-nudity
Summary: When Jesse comes home to a disturbing surprise, little does he suspect that there's another one waiting for him!
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Slash, Established Relationship, Surprise Crossover
Word Count (excluding heading): 767
Disclaimer: Jesse, Danny, Joey, all other characters mentioned within, and Full House are ﾩ & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. The Italian is ﾩ & TM himself and also used without permission. Everything else is ﾩ & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Joey Gladstone hummed a merry children's song as he opened the door to his home. His breath let out in a sharp whistle as a feather duster patted his nose. "It's about time you got home," his best friend, Danny Tanner, remarked. "I just finished dusting your stereo heads, and now I'm ready to dust your head!"

The roar of an approaching motorcycle barely registered in Joey's mind as he took in Danny's thin form dressed only in a frilly, pink apron. He didn't understand what he meant by dusting his head. His hair might be messy from running his fingers through it during the afternoon, but it certainly wasn't that dirty!

Joey's eyes widened as something poked out at him from the center of Danny's skirt. He swallowed his surprise and asked shyly, "Is that your other little friend?"

Danny's smile broadened. "It's my other duster," he told him, "and it's getting tired of dusting inanimate objects. It's been waiting all afternoon to dust you! Come on inside."

Danny had barely hooked his finger around Joey's collar and started to pull him forward when a rough voice sharply exclaimed behind them, "What the Hell!" The last syllable of the newcomer's final word ended in a high-pitched squeak.

Danny blushed, and pink spread over his smiling face all the way through his body and out his bare, wriggling toes. "Hi, Jesse."

"Don't 'Hi, Jesse' me! What the heck are you doing answering the door like that? Why are you dressed - ", he snorted his distaste at the scene he had stumbled upon, " - naked like that at all? The girls could be home any minute now!"

Danny's voice was carefully measured as he explained, "You were not supposed to be home this early - you said you had a date with Frank -, and I'm not due to pick up the girls for another hour and a half."

Jesse shook his head, his perfect hair slinging about his shoulders, glad to be free of the helmet he carried in one hand, as he stared, aghast, at his best friends. He had known they were together for years, long before ever moving in to help raise his nieces, but this was one sight he'd never expected to come home to! Joey grinned sheepishly at him as Danny's perfectly calm smile stayed firmly in place. At last managing to shake himself out of the shock that was clouding his brain, Jesse muttered, "I'm going for a ride."

Joey's grin grew. "What a coinkydink! So are we!"

"I don't want to know," Jesse growled as his long, purposeful strides carried him quickly away from the lovers. He heard Joey yelp and then the door slam shut. He was glad to know they were gone from his sight but still didn't dare turn around as he hopped on his bike. He slid the key into the ignition slot and turned it, and the engine roared to life. Its purr comforted his ears as he sped down the highway, still shuddering. He was glad his friends had each other and didn't begrudge them their love, but coming home to a naked Danny Tanner dressed in nothing more than a pink, frilly apron was more than any man should have to deal with!

Jesse pulled up at the first bar he came to, cut off his engine, and strolled with purposeful sensuality exuding from his every step inside the bar. He needed a fix, - and he needed it fast! He ordered his usual on rocks, downed it in one gulp, left his money with a tip on the bar, and turned around to survey the crowd. His dark eyes set upon the first good-looking hunk he saw, a man whose long, luscious locks could almost compete with his, and prowled boldly up to him. He wrapped his arms around his muscular waist the moment he reached him, pulled him to him, and kissed him deeply.

When Jesse finally lifted his mouth from the stranger's several minutes later, he did so with a sigh of satisfaction. "That was good," he breathed. {So much better,} he thought, {than Danny could ever be!}

"I am not good," the man told him in a thick accent. His smile was warm and confident when he grinned. His blue eyes sparkled. "I am Fabio, and you are lucky you kiss well."

Jesse barely had time to contemplate the Italian's words before his mouth was covering his again and sweeping all cares, including the horrid image of Danny, straight out of Jesse's mind for all that long, and blissfully heated, night to come . . .

The End

Author's Note: If you enjoyed this story, or any of my other writings, I hope you'll consider joining my friends and I at a brand new fan fic/art site we're creating called Ficcers Unite. We welcome all fandoms, pairings (slash and het), and even no pairings at all, and we'll also be RPing a world where Disney and Marvel comes together in one universe. Come on over and check us out at today!