Disclaimer: Everything in The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings is owned by Middle-earth Enterprises. I don't own anything except for Marie.

Enjoy

Court Jester

Marie could remember the first time she took up her grandmother's mandolin when she was eight, it had felt right. She had spent that first summer doing nothing but sitting under a tree getting the chords just right and playing every Britney Spears song she could think of.

It continued like that every summer when she went to stay on her grandparents Vermont farm even playing at the county fair and winning second place to the boy who could do perfect imitations of the all the barnyard animals (at the time she had been upset but now she could look back and think that he really did do a very good cow).

The mandolin nicknamed ole blue had gotten her a degree in musical theory and was good company many a lonely night, not that Marie minded too much she liked being out in nature with her music and a good book like The Hobbit something to get the imagination going. She imagined playing in a folk band or doing soundtracks for indie movies.

But soon she was twenty-five and giving mandolin lessons to hipsters in Portland not exactly her dream gig but it could've been worse thank god people named Tallulah and Brooklyn were willing to shell out big bucks to know an obscure instrument.

It was an unusually balmy day in Portland and she had just finished an hour long session with Cranston (yes first name) who was making some improvement but was hindering himself by trying to learn the marimba, bass sax, and mandolin at the same time but his break through app money was good so she let it be. She had the afternoon free and the weather was nice so she stopped at the store bought a lemonade and made her way to the local park a few blocks from her apartment.

The park itself was actually quite big so Marie went deeper into its more woodsy area looking for a nice isolated spot hoping to play a few songs and enjoy the fresh air. Pretty soon she came across a small clearing surrounded by fragrant trees just tall enough to drown out the sounds of traffic coming from the city. She sat in a shaded patch of soft grass to make up for the fact that she had no blanket and settled her pack and music case next to her. She started to pluck on the stings, wracking her brain for a nice calming song to fit the mood but instead found her eyelids getting heavier and heavier the more she strummed.

'No matter maybe a nap with help me think of a song' she thought as she settled down using her backpack as a rather lumpy pillow and closed her eyes for what she assumed to be short power nap.

*CRACK*

Marie jolted awake just in time to see a tree branch twice her size come crashing down from the canopy above to land ten feet from her head.

'I guess that's my que to leave' she thought quickly gathering her belongings and making her way down the trail she came in through 'I didn't know they were cutting branches today'

After about five minutes of walking with her headphones in and her head down she noticed that it was getting harder and harder to see her feet. She looked up hoping that she hadn't slept so long that the sun was actually going down but what met her eyes were the biggest trees she had ever seen. As a native of California she knew redwoods and these were no redwoods, these dark behemoths made the trees in California look like toothpicks. Unfortunately for Marie they were growing darker by the minute so she brought her phone out and used the flashlight app to light the path ahead if it could even be called a path it was so small.

"Ok I'm perhaps 80% sure that I'm not in Portland anymore" she said aloud to herself as she carefully made her way down a slight incline making sure not to trip.

A slight rustling came from behind her but when she whipped around the light of her phone found nothing, but soon more noises on either side of her caused her to pick up the pace.

"Make that 90%, Goddamn it where is the exit?" she panted as she much less carefully then before raced to what she hoped was the exit.

Marie stepped into a small clearing that had three paths branching off of it and each looked as menacing as the next so she began doing the fastest version of eeny meeny miny moe in the history of the world when a very ominous sound came the bushes not three feet behind her.

*Click Click Click*

She turned and when her light hit the clicking bush the biggest hairiest spider she had ever seen in her life came leaping out at her with its great fangs outstretched ready to bite her head off and suddenly all of the lemonade that had once been in her system went trickling down her leg. The gigantic arachnid got within an inch of her face to the point where she could smell its rancid breath before it was violently wrenched to the side. She heard it give an ear splitting screech before it shriveled up and died from what appeared to be an arrow in its abdomen, slowly she pivoted in the direction the arrow had come from only to come face to face with one of the most beautiful men she has ever laid eyes on, like Brad Galipse her junior high crush hot. She was so stunned she almost missed when he spoke to her.

"mana a-cinta firya wen úcar tanomë taurë?" The gorgeous pointy eared man spoke in a hushed forceful way, it was just too bad she couldn't understand a word he said.

'Oh who am I kidding this guy blows Brad Galipse out of the water' She couldn't help noting that the man and his companions left poor ole Brad in the dust, the only department they got points off on was the fact that they were all pointing very sharp, very deadly arrows at her.

"Uhh…" was about all she managed to get out before a bag was thrown over her head and her hands were tied.

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, please feel free to favorite, follow, and leave a review.

Translation: mana a-cinta firya wen úcar tanomë taurë?- what is a small human woman doing in the woods.