Jack has a list of things he doesn't like to do on a Saturday, such as going to class, going shopping for pads, and especially being woken up before the first rooster crows. Thankfully for Jack, there is no rooster within a 50 mile radius, so he never has to get up before noon. Until today.

Jack was enjoying a pleasant dream about a certain platinum blonde before he was abruptly awoken by the distinct lyrics of Beat It.

They'll kick you, then they beat you,
Then they'll tell you it's fair
So beat it

Recognizing Anna's ringtone even in his subconscious, Jack immediately picked up the phone.

"Hey Jack~" came Anna's chirpy voice. Casting a bleary glance at the clock at his nightstand Jack groaned when he saw that it was 3:27 AM.

"What do you want Anna."

"Just wanted to chat. A nice little chat."

"At 3 in the morning? Can't this wait until later?"

"But Elsa will be awake then and- oops." Anna squeaked. Raising a brow at the statement, she now had Jack's full attention.

"And why wouldn't Elsa need to know about this conver-"

"Don't get the wrong idea. She will know. Just after I have written my will and testament. The notary is taking quite a while so..."

Rubbing his hand over his face, Jack sighed loudly. "Get to the point."

"She's not there is she?"

Jack cast a half-hearted glance around his dark room. "No," he huffed annoyedly.

"Good. I really don't know how to tell her this and when she hears about it I don't want you to become a casualty. Just a footnote, Kristoff and I were not planning this. Well, I mean we were, but just not now, you know what I'm saying?" Jack could see that this wasn't going anywhere, so he propped his phone on the nightstand and lied back down on his bed, hoping that Anna will tire herself out.

"-and I knew it was a mistake. No! Wait! I don't mean it like that. It wasn't a mistake. Because he was definitely not a mistake," she gushed out the last part. "But it was unintentional, but I didn't mind it. It's just, one thing led to another, and well...I'm pregnant," she blurted out the last part.

But that last word was clear enough to Jack who immediately sat up and reached for his phone, only to miss and end up knocking over the lamp and the phone, shattering the former into several hundred pieces. Getting on his feet to reach for the phone, Jack accidentally stepped on a particularly sharp shard that resulted in a (rather masculine) banshee-like scream.

"Oh my gosh, Jack are you alright? Elsa heard me didn't she? I told you to see if she was there! Now you're probably dead, a casualty of her sisterly rage, and I'm talking to a corpse...which I now have to bury!" she cried as realization dawned on her, "I'm an accessory to murder! I don't know the first thing about disposing a corpse, well I do know a guy, but I'm too young to be put on FBI's most wanted. And I'm pregnant! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my-"

Finally having reached his phone, and taken out the little stinger from his foot, Jack began his attempts to pacify a hyperventilating Anna.

"-my poor child. It'll never get to go out and make friends-

"Anna, I'm not dead-"

"-it'll probably end up stuck in a prison bunk-"

"-woman, listen to me-"

"-no crib for a bed-" she began singing between ugly sobs.

"ANNA, I'm very much alive." Upon hearing that the sobs came to an abrupt halt, replaced by a petrified scream.

"Oh no. I'm hearing things now. Am I dead? Did Elsa reach me and kill me while I didn't even realize it?" her voice quivered.

Raising a hand to rub his temples, Jack tried to gain her attention again in vain. "Anna-"

"Well, at least it was painless."

"Anna-"

"-she was always a very gentle person," she said lovingly.

"Please let me talk," Jack cried in frustration. Taking the silence at the other end as a 'go ahead,' Jack continued.

"What happened exactly-"

"Jack, do I really need to have the birds and the bees talk with yo-"

"Not that!" a furious blush appearing on his cheeks. "Just forget it. So, you're pregnant," there was an awkward pause, "...wait, you're pregnant." When the words finally sunk in Jack felt a little guilty that his instinctive response, in his mind, of course, was shoot, she spawns.

"Yes, we established that, Jack," she spoke slowly as if explaining it to a five-year old. Which at the moment is a good reflection of Jack's state of mind.

"I missed my period three weeks after waking up in bed with Kristoff, and I've been waking up often to throw up everything from shrimp scampi to meatloaf into the toilet." Jack has never once desired to know about the condition of her menstrual cycle, sex life or digestive system.

"The only think I'm understanding right now is that you're always harping on me about having premarital sex with Elsa but apparently you've been doing the nasty with your own blonde? HYPOCRITE!" Jack said pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to chase away a creeping migraine.

"Shut up! We were drunk and it was just a one time thing- wait, are you having premarital sex with Elsa?" Anna hissed.

"If I was I wouldn't have answered the phone now would I?" Jack snapped at the redhead. It was too early, and Jack was in no condition to remember Etiquette 101's rule of never snapping at pregnant women. It's just that this is not the first time Anna would call him to to yell at him about hypothetically taking away Elsa's virtue. It kept him from doing important things. Like actually taking away Elsa's virtue.

"Just call me in the morning when my brain isn't mush. I'm going back to sleep," Jack yawned, "Give me a heads up when there will be Anna 2.0's running around. Preferably a one month notice so there's enough time for Elsa and I to move to- you said you would never go to Latvia, right?"

"Don't" she shouted loud enough to cause another crack in a glacier somewhere in the world. Her poor kids will never get to see a polar bear.

Staring at the phone he threw to the edge of his bed, Jack cautiously picked up the phone, keeping it at a 2 feet distance from his ears, which in the morning he will need to get checked for hearing loss. "Please stop screaming."

"Well, please stop stressing me out," Anna's tone dripping with sarcasm. "This hormone thing is making me unbalanced and, just basically on edge." Jack wasn't top of his class at med school, but he knew that hormones alone were not enough to give a 5'4" woman the power to widen the San Andreas fault with just her lungs. Thinking better, and in the interests of his bleeding ears, Jack didn't voice his thoughts and instead chose to give an apologetic grunt.

"I need a drink."

"Anna, pregnant women aren't supposed to-"

"I'm not asking," she said with finality in her voice. Poor Kristoff. "I'll send you Kristoff's address. Bring some vinegar, chocolate, and a couple pregnancy tests." Jack could just picture her tapping her chin in thought, the same way a mafia boss would. "Yeah, just that is fine. For now."

"Wait, why do I have to do it?!"

"Because Kristoff's asleep," she replied as if the answer was obvious, "Now hurry along, I want my stuff soon."

"That's not my question-"

"What? Are you going to make a pregnant woman go out at 4:15 AM?" came her horrified reply. Jack was fighting a losing battle.

"That's not what I meant."

"Good. See you in twenty minutes," was her curt reply.

"Don't you dare hang up on me - YOU BETTER NAME THE THING AFTER ME, DANGIT!"