Disclaimer: All rights belong to J.K. Rowling, and Anthony Burgess.

Author's Note: Happy Halloween, everyone! I have no idea where this came from, but I've always wanted to try something like this, so there. Also, I apologize in advance for completely butchering Nadsat.

"Well, there's a fine-looking devotchka if I ever viddied one."

She turned around, and saw her husband decked out in a white shirt, trousers, suspenders, and protective belt; black bowler hat and combat boots; a fake eyelash on his right eye; a cane; and a devilish smirk.

"What do you think? Nice, eh?" He asked as he spread out his arms and turned around.

Nodding, she commented, "It suits you. But aren't you a little to old for Halloween?"

"Nonsense! No one's too starry for All Hallow's Eve, my darling zheena!" He exclaimed proudly, like Alex the Large himself.

Lily shook her head and said, "James, the film came out a decade ago, no one would probably recognize who you are."

"Ah, but it's a classic novel!" He argued.

"Have you even read the book?" She asked him, a thin, red eyebrow raised.

For a moment, he went out of character and said, "I kind of, uh, read the book."

"But why? You don't read anything other than your beloved Quidditch Through the Ages."

"Well, I knew how much you like that book, so I read it. And I like it, too. Quite an eccentric taste you have, dear."

She smiled at him and said, "Come here, moodge, and plant one on me."

Grabbing her waist and pulling her to him, he complied. They kissed for some time until they heard a pounding at the door.

"James, open up!"

He broke away from her and said, "Wait here," which he punctuated with a quick peck on her lips.

Upon opening the door, James exclaimed, "My droogs! Welcome!"

On the other side, there was Sirius, Remus, and Peter, wearing costumes identical to James. Including the smirk.

"Well, what are we waiting for! We've got some ultra-violence to make!" shouted Peter excitedly.

"Peter, I don't think that means what you think it means," said Lily, smothering a laugh.

"Oh," he replied embarrassedly. "My appy-polly-loggies."

"Ah, well," said Sirius, patting his mate's back, "that's ol' Pete for you."

"Hold on! Let me take a picture!" Lily exclaimed as she ran up the stairs to get her camera.

Moments later, she came back down with her Polaroid. The four of the were lined up, with arms around each others shoulders, smiling.

"Say cheese!" The shutter clicked.

The photograph came out of the contraption instantly, and there appeared Alex and his droogs.

"Looks real horrorshow to me," commented Sirius.

"Put that in our photo album, will you dear?" asked James.

"Will do," replied Lily.

"Come on! Our candy awaits us!" Remus said.

Amused with their childish antics, Lily shooed them out their front door, "Right, off with you chellovecks!" Then, she leaned up to James and whispered in his ear, "And when you come back, we'll do the old in-out, mm?" She pulled away and winked at him.

He grinned mischievously.

"Don't forget my candy, too!" She reminded him.

"I won't," James promised, and sealed it with another peck to her lips.