My second try at one of these on this new account. Hope this goes well! Disclaimer will be done here for this chapter. So... Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned. So yep!
?: Ugh, dammit! This friggin camera won't turn on!
?: Uh, Sky, that's because the lens is still on the camera. Other than that, it's on, and working.
?: ...Right. Psh, I knew that already, Sora.
?: If you did, then why did you-
?: Knew that already, Riku.
?: But why did you spend the past two hours trying to break the-
?: OMG KAIRI, STFU! Gosh, how stupid are you?
?: *sniffles* ...Rude.
?: Say you're sorry, Sky!
?: Yeah, no thanks, Sora. Ugh, go in the emo corner if you're going to cry, I don't have the time for this.
?: B-but, if I go into the e-emo corner, I'll have to fight Ze-ze-ze-ze-
?: Ze-ze-ze-ze-ze-ze, shut up! Gahh, stop stuttering! It makes me want to cut Justin Bieber's hair.
*Somewhere in wherever JB is right now*
Justin Bieber: I sense a disturbance in the hairstyle force. I wanna Ride to the Favorite Girl that is going to cut this mess that everyone seems to Love Me wearing. I personally hate it, and you can Never Say Never to a haircut. Am I right?
*Back to those ? people*
?: SKYYYYYYY! SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY-
?: DAMMIT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, AXEL?
?: There's still question mark thingies in front of those colons. ?: Like that. See?
?: Isn't a colon inside of you? OMG, there's question marks inside my body! Get them out Larxene, get them out!
?: The only thing I'm getting out of you is your retardation, and that will be from me beating the shit out of you.
?: *sniffles* B-but, I like my poopoo inside of me.
?: *facepalms* Well, I should probably fix those question marks next to the co- ...I mean, those two dots in front of them.
?: QUESTION MARKS HAVE CHICKEN POX? :O
Sky: Dem-Dem, one day, we'll look back on this in the asylum and laugh about it. Anyway, hey people, I'm Sky, the author of this bountiful new fic! :)
?: One that you will ultimately end up failing at, or like the other one on your old account, get closed down by those rule-lovers or admins or whatever they're called.
Sky: Nobody likes you, Vexen, go suck my back.
?: ...*stares at* I will do no such thing. I haven't a clue where you're back has been.
Sky: The hell? What, you think it's been in the sewers lately? God, old farts these days, think they can just toot at you whenever.
?: I resent that.
?: Vexen, I'll kill you again. Don't make me. *Gives psycho stare*
?: St-stop staring at me! ...AHHHHHHH! *runs off to the bathroom*
Sky: Oh well. Let's just hope he doesn't turn the toilet into a monster again.
?: Most uncomfortable shit I've ever taken in my lifetime.
Sky: You're a nobody, Xiggy. What lifetime did you ever have?
?: Touché, young one. I shall reward you later when the lights are off, plunging us into darkness, and taping you to a chair. As part of a fun game. ;)
Sky: Ew. Pirate pedophile. Well, let's introduce the characters first. We haaaaaavvvveeeeee:
Sora: Hii! *picks nose and wipes on Kairi's head*
Kairi: Hey there! I have the sudden feeling that somebody wiped a booger on my head. Huh, oh well.
Riku: Sup. Well, you can buy my new calendars at .org, which now accepts Visa credit cards and-
Roxas: Yeah, hey great, shut the hell up. Hey guys! If you give me ice-cream, Bob Marley t-shirts, Miley Cyrus' bra, or Sea-Salt ice cream, I'll love you for eternity. :)
Namine: ...*sweat-drops* -_-" Yeah. Okay. Hi there! Be easy on me for questions, I don't wanna get hurt...
Ven: That's no fun! Fun is when you shove dynamite into the asses of Master Chief going into the Halo game, avoiding getting sniped, then getting laid by Edward Cullen of Twilight upside down hanging from a tree, only to end up killing him. Oh, and hi!
Terra: ...Ven, after this is done shooting, I'm taking you to a Hospital. Hello there, I'm Terra! What are your names? Why are you reading this garbage? (Sky: JERK!) Are you here to read about me? Do you think Aqua will ever like me? (Aqua: U-uh...no comment.) Will Sky ever be able to complete my story on Birth By Sleep? (Sky: No! xO)
Aqua: Alright, enough questions! That made Ven break down, imagine what it could do to the readers. Hey, I'm Aqua. Glad to see somebody's reading this.
(Sky: Next person to diss this story will be thrown outside to the man-eating bears, since I consider most, if not all, of you men. Except me, because I am gorgeous. Good.)
Vanitas: Yo. Uh, any of my fangirls out there, you may not want to make a move on my sexiness. Sky owns me, apparently, and we are dating. *shows camera tattoo that says "Property of Sky ™"* So yeh. Also, anyone says something stupid I'll hunt you down and kill you.
Sky: My baby's just kiddin'. ^_^" *goes to find lawyers*
Xemnas: Fools. In this story, I shall eventually end up enslaving all of these pitiful morons, who are nowhere near as smart as I, Leader of Organization XIII. They are so dumb, they cannot even figure out the rubix cube, while a small Japanese boy did this in seconds, according to this "yubtub".
Sky: It's youtube...
Xemnas: Whatever. Also, they don't deserve my hi.
Sky: Dammit, if you don't say hi as perky as a Wal-Mart greeter, I will take this sword that magically appeared out of nowhere and shove it up your nose.
Xemnas: Hulo. Eh, Hello?
Sky: Good.
Xigbar: I'm tellin' ya Demyx, you have to turn it the other way, you just messed up the green side! Oh, uh, hey. Listen, if you guys have any tips to the rubix cube, let us know, okay?
Xaldin: Cheating? In the rubix cube? My, how sad that is. *Stares longingly at rubix cube* ...MOVE BITCHES, MY TURN! *Goes extreme rubix mode* Yeah, yeah, yeah, hi. JUST GOT THE RED SIDE!
Vexen: I'm losing brain cells just looking at you morons. That's not red, Xaldin, that's blue, and you messed up the other sides as well. *Sighs* Good day, imbeciles reading.
Riku: You're also the imbecile starring somewhat in this, so no making fun of the readers. Besides, you're the star nobody likes.
Vexen: Hurtful! :( And to think I made a clone of you, boy!
Lexeaus: ...
Sky: Speak, doggie, speak. Want a heart? Heart?
Lexeaus: *gets on knees and barks*
Sky: Roll-over, Lexie! Roll over!
Lexeaus: *rolls over*
Sky: Good dog. Now, say hi!
Lexeaus: Arf-hi-arf!
Sky: Good Lexie! *pets* Also, I don't have a heart for you. ^_^ Sorry.
Lexeaus: *sulks and goes upstairs, crying so loud, earthquakes form in China*
Sky: Aww crap. :'( Poor China. I'll murder Lexie when he gets downstairs again. Wonder how bad it was?
(I'm currently funding for China over here, so don't be too offended by this joke. Workin' my butt off.)
Zexion: Hello. If you have any books such as Vampire Diaries, Twilight, Maximum Ride, or anything even remotely similar to these books, you may talk to me, unless you agree to give me these said books. Thank you and have a nice day.
Saix: I shall not be saying hello to any of those Lord Xemnas haters out there, for they are immensely stupid and do not know a great leader when they see one. And the day Lord Xemnas enslaves the world, they shall bow before his mercy.
Sora: You totally just said you are Xemnas' slave of love.
Saix: W-what? Preposterous!
Kairi: Sora, don't get me wrong, you are wonderful, but...how do you get that from his rant about enslaving the world?
Riku: How is Sora wonderful? If anything, I'm wonderful. I mean, have you seen my six pack? And let's not start with my ha-
Kairi: Shutthehellup'causenobodylikesyou. Anyways, go on Sora! :)
Riku: *sulks*
Sora: Why thank you Kai. Well, eh, I know a gay sex slave when I see one.
Sky: Questionable. What are the signs?
Sora: Well, they're easily angered-
Saix: I AM NOT I WILL CHOP OFF YOUR HEAD AND PLAY BASKETBALL WITH IT, ALTHOUGH I FAIL EPICALLY AT SPORTS, FOR SAYING SUCH THINGS, YOU COW!
Sora: -They're defensive if you bring it up-
Saix: I-I have no relations to Lord Xemnas, we are merely co-workers. Neigh, I am his humble second-in-command. I simply admire his amazing skills, and you have no proof of me taking photos of him in The Shower That Never Smelled.
Vanitas: There were a number of things wrong with what you just said. For one, you just proved Sora's point not once, but twice. Two, we never mentioned anything about photos. Three, what kind of gay name is that for a shower?
Sky: Baby's got a point. Well, whatever, moving on from questionable hobbies and showers, which people desperately need in this room.
Axel: Hey, I came up with that name for the shower!
Vanitas: Ask and you shall be answered.
Axel: HEY! …Hey, that's the title of this thing! xD
Demyx: I don't get it…?
Axel: You don't get anything or anyone, do you?
Demyx: I get Zexion! :D
Zexion: Wh-what? You do not, Number IX!
*Everybody dies laughing*
Demyx: What? You guys don't understand Zexion?
Sky: Oh. That's not too funny. But no, nobody else here understands him. Aside from you, I guess? Which is weird.
*Army of Zemyx fangirls bust in through roof cosplayed as Demyx and Zexion*
Zemyx Fangirl 1: OMG! He understands him! AWW! SO CUTE!
Zemyx Fangirl 2: Quick! Let's take pictures!
Everyone: AHHH!
Aqua: *summons stick* BACK! BACK YOU FILTHY CREATURES! *whacks in eyes with stick*
Zemyx Fangirl 79.3: OMG MY EYES! NOW I CAN'T WATCH ZEMYX PORNO!
Everyone: ?
*Zemyx fangirls are thrown out of room*
Sky: Thank god for that. Now, let's continue. Please, before something else mind-blowingly retarded happens.
Luxord: Ello chaps. Get me rum, cards, or illegal substances and I'll give you a nickel.
Terra: Really? A nickel?
Luxord: Too cheap, eh? Right you are, lassie.
Terra: I'm a boy.
Sky: One that's in desperate need of a name change. Does your mom hate you?
Terra: MY MOMMY LOVES ME VERY MUCH! *cradles in Aqua's lap and cries in shoulder*
*Aqua Blushes* Aqua: There, there? *recovers and throws onto floor*
Terra: :(
Luxord: Anyway, I raise it to a penny, and I won't go any higher than that.
Roxas: This is just getting ridiculous now.
Luxord: FINE, FINE! I WILL GET YOU A PLASTIC QUARTER.
Marluxia: Wow, that's a lot better. *flips hair and sighs* It's so hard to be the sole beautiful and intelligent one.
Luxord: The joke's on those crackers. I only have 500 dollars. Hehehe, those idiots.
Larxene: *whispers* I'm going to strangle you in your sleep.
Marluxia: You say somethin', gal-pal?
Larxene: Oh, I said I'm going to strangle him in his sleep, Marls.
Marluxia: Ooooh, goodie! Have fun Larx!
Xion: Hi everyone! It's really awesome to be here and I hope you guys ask me some questions and stu-
Marluxia: OOOH A BARBIE DOLL! …Eh, nevermind, this one's the ugly models to make girls feel more self-confident about their looks.
Xion: *sobs and runs upstairs*
Sky: Jesus, that's like the third person to get all bent outta shape. Whatev, I'll get her later. Moving on.
Not nearly as important or popular as the other characters: HEY! WE ARE AMAZING IN OUR OWN WAYS AND PEOPLE LOVE US TOO!
Axel: Psh, yeah right. Do you have tattoos under your eyes?
NNIPOC: …No…Bu-
Roxas: Are you emotionally challenged to a point where you have your own facebook page?
NNIPOC: No…But w-
Axel: Did you kill yourself in a game using sheer firepower just to save your best friend's original person?
NNIPOC: …? No. But-
Roxas: Are you paired with so many people that you're starting to question your sexuality?
NNIPOC: …No? What was that last question about?
Roxas: …Nuttin. NOBODY LOVES YOU.
NNIPOC: T-T
(These characters are basically the Disney people or Wakka, Selphie, Tidus, Hayner, Pence, Olette, Seifer, Fuu, Rai, etc.)
Sky: We can't forget those Final Fantasy people. I mean, we all love them. Am I right?
Everyone but Sora: NO.
Sky: Bitches..Well, here they are.
Cloud: I have a lifetime supply of hair gel at disposal, over 7,000 yaoi fanfictions of me and my mortal enemy, he who shall not be named, and I'm emotionally conflicted that it becomes expected in every single game I'm in. In other words, I'm Cloud.
Demyx: He who shall not be named? Voldemort? *GASP* OMG I JUST SAID IT SKY SAVE ME! *clings to Sky*
Vanitas: *rips Demyx off and throws him in closet* No. Stay.
Sky: ^_^ So cute!
Squall: Uh, h- …Change my name, Sky.
Sky: *whistles holding name changing device* Who, me? I didn't do squat.
Sora: How do you do squat? Like, what position-
Sky: SHUTTHEHELLUP. :) Well, let's continue the-
Squall: Not until you change my name back. *Pulls out gunblade*
Sky: *sigh* Fine. Killjoy. *Changes name back* Need a new set of tampons after your raging PMS attack you were going to commit on me? Hm?
Leon: *glares* No. And good. And yes, I am a killjoy. Live with it.
Yuffie: I'll live with you! Me likes the sexy leather bad-boys.
Leon: And "me no likes" the annoying, hyperactive, dressed-like-a-hooker ninja poser types.
Yuffie: *backhand smacks* What a bitch!
Aerith: Now Yuffie, that's not very nice.
Sky: You're voice isn't very nice.
Aerith: Aw, sad face. Why you so mean?
Sky: Bitch, please. I ain't mean, yo momma's mean.
Ventus: Uh, no, that's you being mean.
Sky: Right. Her real mom's dead and her foster mom is being killed by my assassin from Vocaloid, Kato, as we speak.
Aerith: Wait, wh-
Sky: Moving on to characters I actually respect.
Tifa: Hey! …Cloud. Well, hope you guys ask me questions, and ask a certain blonde questions as well.
Sky: Teef, it's better to be specific. The following blondes we have are Namine, Roxas, Demyx, Larxene, Tidus, Hayner, Alice, Luxord-
Tifa: Right. An EMO blonde.
Sky: Still leaves Roxas.
Tifa: That's last name is Strife.
Terra: According to numerous fanfictions, that could still include Roxas.
Tifa: The first letter of his name is a C.
Axel: *holds in laughter* …C-Coxas? x) Sounds awfully like Cocks-ass.
Tifa: CLOUD. CLOUD STIFE. DAMN.
Cloud: ….
Sky: What a waste to type. Well, continue.
Merlin: Eh, why, hello there, and I do hope I get a few ques-
Larxene: Next. I hate old people.
Merlin: That's quite rude, young lady!
Larxene: I hate being called young lady.
Axel: Would you prefer young man?
Larxene: *elbows Axel in the face* Stay down.
Axel: SIR YES SIR. *gets kicked in back of head* FML.
Cid: Would you shut your fuckin' trap, goddamn, can't even smoke a fuckin' cigarette without hearin' buncha dumbasses babblin' 'bout useless shit. FUCK!
Sky: Too…lazy…to…censor…Just….go….with it….
Riku: If that old fart can swear, why can't I advertise my sexiness?
Kairi: Riku, the series hasn't started completely yet, and nobody has asked if you're gay or not. You can drop the pretty-boy act.
Riku: Oh thank god. Well, why is that guy allowed to swear?
Sky: *glomps Riku* Thank god for normal sexy Riku. No offense Vani babe. :D Well, Cid's awesome, so leave him be.
Cid: DAMN STRAIGHT BITCHES.
Sky: See? There's no beatin' that.
*Zack walks in*
Zack: Hey, am I late?
Namine: Kind of, random sexy dude at the door.
Girls: OMG SEXY DUDE AT THE DOOR!
Sky: AHHH! ZACK! ZACK FAIR! ZACKY! THE PUPPY! I-I-IT'S, HE'S, UH, AHHH! *passes out*
Aerith: I forgot how sexy you are. I'm supposed to be in love with Cloud, but now I'm conflicted. Hmm..
Yuffie: NINJA FAST REFLEXES CLAIM HIM FIRST!
Kairi: OVER MY DEAD BODY!
Larxene: I CAN ARRANGE THAT! TOMB OR CASKET?
Aqua: I'LL HELP BURY HER! ZACK REMEMBER YOU ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE? I ACCEPT!
*Sky wakes up, with help from mouth-to-mouth by Vanitas*
Sky: Thanks baby. OMG ZACK! ….Wait, the thrill just wore off. Suspicious. I smell a code "Demyx the dip-shit messing around with Old Fart's potions".
Vanitas: Oddly specific smell…
Sky: I picked up Riku's smelling ability from Chain of Memories. :) I'm special. Well, where's Dem-Dem?
*Demyx looks guilty with broken potion bottle*
Demyx: *looks back and forth between Sky and Vanitas, who has X-Blade out* It was him! *throws bottle at plant*
*Plant goes insane for Zack and joins massive girl army to attack him*
Zack: OW OW OW OW SHIT THIS THING HAS THORNS! AHHH LAZY ASSHOLES SAVE ME!
Sky: DAMMIT! FOR ONCE I'D LIKE A NORMAL INTRO! IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?
Vanitas: Demyx, I will murder you in the count of three if you don't fix this.
Axel: *sighs* I got this. *Gets out yaoi pictures for girls* I'm gonna regret this. *throws into crowd*
*girls calm down instantly and leave Zack, who is now in his boxers, alone at the door*
Zack: I feel loved yet raped all at once. And someone stole my shirt. My pants are also ripped next to my feet. What the hell happened to my shoes?
Guys: It happens.
Girls: SHH! TRYING TO LOOK AT YAOI!
Sky: O.o Glad I'm not that obsessed. Well, is that it? *gives Zack change of clothes, regretfully*
Sora: I think so.
Sky: Okay. Well, there's really no rules, just nothing too extreme, m'kay? Also, if you guys have any characters you'd like to ask that I didn't mention, just lemme know. They can appear. I can drag them here and threaten them to a point of shitting themselves.
Riku: You're one scary chick. I like that.
Sky: Aw, thanks!
Vanitas: *growls at Riku* Piss off.
Sky: Be nice! Well, leave us some questions or dares. Yes, we also accept dares. Exit song time!
*Justin Bieber pops out of closet with Demyx and dances to Somebody To Love, Demyx singing more like a girl than Justin Bieber*
Sky: …I'm sorry you guys had to see that. Bye and leave que-
Demyx: I JUST NEED SOMEBODY TO LOVE! I-I DON'T NEED TOO MUCH, JUST SOMEBODY TO LOVE!
*Demyx gets on JB wig, and JB twirls him around in circles*
Justin Bieber: I don't need nothin' else, I promise girl I swear, I just need-
*Demyx punches Justin Bieber in the face*
*Intense awkward silence*
Demyx: (To JB) WHAT NOW, BITCH? Tryin' to steal my spotlight, I'll get catty with you. Inner ghetto powers, ya dig?
Everyone except Demyx: I'm ashamed to be a part of this.
*Camera turns off*
After this I'll start adding minis off-camera at the end! :)