Hi there!
Just another small Clorith fic. Beware, it's very sad!
Sorry about the bad english, it's not my mother language, I still have some difficulty. Feel free to point any mistakes, I'd like it a lot =D
Hope you enjoy it. Please REVIEW!!!
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SOUL CONSORTS
It was always the same. Every single day…
He entered the same car as me – just one stop after me myself boarded the train. The blonde man would direct to the far corner at the end, right in front of me, and grasp the metallic pipe above his head for support. He would gently hold the white and pink lily between his pale lips while handling his briefcase – acquiring the appearance of a Don Juan.
The handsome gentleman has been intriguing me for ages. Ever dressed in formal clothes, flawless look and the same type of flower on the right hand. He wore a cold expression but I could see deep in the celestial eyes a sweet feeling. Maybe it was for a work mate? I decided I would talk to him – I was really curious. And I had been bearing the courage to initiate a dialogue.
I look up at him and some seconds after his stare crosses mine. I smile sympathetically and finally speak:
- Are these beautiful flowers for your girlfriend, sir?
His gaze diverges from mine and wanders to the lily back on his hand. He frowns slightly.
- Kind of… - is his answer in a clear and rough voice that matches him perfectly.
- She's a really lucky lady to have such a man like you. – he shrugs. Not a talkative person... Well, it definitely fits his serious profile. I giggle - Why all the reservedness?
He turns that sky-colored globes to me and says kindly:
- I always keep my sweetest expressions only to my loved one.
That day that was the end of our brief dialogue. But I would surely interrogate him a bit more tomorrow.
And tomorrow came with a big surprise for me. He entered the wagon, as quiet and flawless as every other day, though today especially he was accompanied. No, it wasn't a beautiful and bright young woman who's supposed to be his perfect match and to melt his cold stare. No… grasping firmly his hand was a small girl, around for years-old – my guess – with blue eyes and short blonde hair, a shade or two lighter than the man, pulled behind in straight pigtails with a small curl at the end.
He puts her seated by my side, while he himself stood, like always.
At this I can't simple stay shut anymore.
- Well, hi there mister! – I start, looking him directly in the eye.
- Hello, ma'am. – then I look at the child at my side, quiet, with downcast eyes. She was wearing a plain white dress and blue plastic sandals with flowers patterns. She swayed slowly her thin legs. Her escort probably noticed my close scrutiny, because he said to her in a soft tone – Say "hi" to the nice lady, Naminé.
She then looks up, with brows raised, flashes me a tiny, yet cute, smile and says "Hi" in a bright, adorable acute voice.
- Sorry, I didn't introduce myself properly yesterday. I'm Elmyra.
- Cloud Strife. – he replied nonchalantly – And that's Naminé.
- She's beautiful! – I smiled back at her. Still, I'm so curious I almost didn't notice when my own voice asked the question. The similarities are crystal clear but I'd give it a shot - May I ask… Is she your niece?
Cloud cocks his head slightly, lifting almost imperceptible his left scarred eyebrow. He took an amused second to answer.
- No, ma'am. She's my daughter.
I feel my eyes widen a bit. Daughter? But… I didn't know he was married. I never saw his… ring! Oh my dear Gosh. It's the one with the big emerald in his left hand. My eyes drifted to it instantly. I thought it was some kind of graduation ring. It's so thick and… exotic.
I put a hand in my chest.
- I didn't know you are married!
I see more than hear him sigh.
- Well… kind of…
- Are you divorced? I always thought those flowers you carry every day were for your beloved one. – his stare hardens. I seem to have reached the limit of his patience. Any other person probably wouldn't have answered so many questions of a strange and just now I realized my mistake – Sorry, mister Strife. It was improper of my part to ask so many personal questions.
- No, it's OK… I think… - he says slowly, as if lost in other thoughts – No, I am married and I never intend to divorce her. And yes, she is the one I give the flowers too. But… it's kinda hard to explain…
- Lilies are mom's favorite and today's my birthday. – Naminé says suddenly in a small, quiet tone with that tiny smile again. It does not make the slightest sense to me but it seemed to mean everything to her.
Hard situation… I fell silent in my corner, processing the information. Then it hit me harder and louder and more painful than any slap. Could it be she was sick? In her deathbed? Immediately my eyes fill up with tears of compassion for those two poor souls. And pity for that woman that seemed so loved and was about to lose her precious life…
- Say… What do you do? – he asks me suddenly, pulling me back from my wandering mind full with horrified concern.
- Sorry?
- What you do for a living? – he asks again in that perfect polite manner. It was mesmerizing and, on the other hand, kinda hollow.
- Ahh, right. I'm a teacher at a daycare; been one all my life. I love children. It doesn't pays much but the feedback my soul receives is priceless. I wouldn't exchange it for anything. – I pause for air – What about you?
- I'm an architect…
All during the rest of our short voyage we spent in silly conversation like that. I told him that, even though I loved children, I hadn't had one of my own. I'd lost my husband before we could conceive any and now I lived alone. When I said that, I searched for a spark of mutual feeling or understanding but nothing burned behind that icy irises.
When we were nearing his destination, he took his daughter's small hand again and positioned in front of the exit. Discreetly I followed him. I had taken that day off specially to discover more about that mysterious family but he needn't to know that.
Well, I ain't any spy or such a thing. But it wasn't hard to conceal my presence in that massive crowd. They walked for about twenty minutes, through the busy downtown to a quieter and greener area until they reached a…
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Like any normal couple, they'd met at high school. It took them a while to start dating – he'd had to overcome his shyness before approaching her to ask her out. Even with the sweet exchange of glances that had been unfolding for weeks. Back then, he'd always left in her locker a single flower – a white and pink lily. White for her purity and pink because it was her favorite color. And he knew that, the next day, the flower would be gone – she'd take all of them – and he replaced it without failure.
Those flowers were the ones that grew in his garden – in his deceased mother's garden. He lived alone since fourteen. His father was missing for more than a decade and his mother died in a fire. He cared for her garden almost as expecting she'd come back one day and find everything in perfect order – even her beloved lilies.
Then, they had to face the second harshest periods of their life together – going separate ways to the college without extinguishing their love. She'd move about 50 kilometers, to the state's capital, to hers. He'd move halfway across the country to his. Everyday, without fail, they'd called each other, exchanged emails, send postcards and photos and news. Every vacation and extended holidays they'd traveled to see each other, alternating – one at her place, then at his. Somehow – and Cloud DID know how, they managed to survive the fours years of separation, of endless hours at the phone, listening to the silence at the other end of line but finding comfort in just realizing there was someone on the other side, of his broken sobs of longing and her comforting words, reassuring him of everything… anything… of subject-empty emails with the single phrase "I love you". The reason for the survival is true love.
They got married the same year he went back, and they started living in his house, where she adopted his mother's garden as her own. Then the most blissful moments of their entire lives arrived – Naminé was born. Their little sunshine…
It didn't last, though. The woman grew weaker – strange for a person so lively like her. They discovered what it was… Leukemia; blood's cancer. One of the hardest to treat. Just then everybody around her got depressed, sad and hopeless… It was like, literally, their warm Sun slowly, painfully started to fade, their beautiful garden started to wither and lost it's color. It was what it felt like for them… her family and friends. It's so unfair, they thought, Cloud the fiercer of all, that someone like her has to go through this. Among all humans she was one who less deserved it. She spread her happiness to anyone around her and she deserved nothing less back.
She herself, though deteriorating outside, kept strong and bright and oh-so-alive inside… He remembered lively when she finally decided to shave her head. And that was the hardest decision to her, he knew. She took care of her gorgeous wavy chocolate hair that, when free, passed her waist in length. Their daughter was in her lap – she was about two back then -, hugging her tightly, the little face buried in her chest, sobbing uncontrollable and yelling "The hair, no mommy, please. Not the hair!". But she just smiled. And it wasn't her sad smiled or her covering-up-worries smile. It was her true, happy smile, which made her green emerald eyes (almost the tone of his wedding ring. Her ring carried an aqua-marine gem like the color of Cloud's ones. She was buried with it) shine like a starry sky. Then she replied softly, caressing the girl's head lovingly "It's just, hair, sunshine. It will grow again… See, it's only hair." she picked up a long strand "There are infinitely most precious things to lose that never grow back… like life itself…"
They tried everything for her. However, the chemotherapy didn't worked and the transplant came too late. She never attached herself much to the drugs and debilitating treatments, though. She refused to lay back on a hospital bed for the rest of her life. Cloud and Naminé took her everywhere. To the park, the movies, the mall.
She always smiled, until the end… Until the fateful day of her departure, surrounded by her most beloved ones. She thanked them for the great time she had here, remembered them to never lose hope. She earned a last kiss from her parents, a last rib-cracking hug for her best friends. I tasted her lips for just one once more… She wiped away her precious daughter's tears, reminding her she'd always be watching over them. Then, she flashed her breathtaking smile, the one that made him fall hopelessly for her, the one she conquered the most stone-hearted person, for one last time. Squeezing hard my hand, she whispered a final, soft, heart-warming "I love you". Then she went to rest. Her long deserved rest…
Her last words couldn't have been more fitted. She embraced the after-life with as much love as she had lived. And I'm sure she departed with no regrets left, no one single drop of remorse. It could have happened to anyone, couldn't it? She said that. There were million of others even worse than her. She wasn't any exception.
What they didn't realize at that time was that people like her didn't stay long here. They came, accomplished their mission, and returned. Contaminating them with joy wasn't her truly mission – that was just herself – but showing them they should make the best of their lives while they had it, because no one knew what tomorrow had prepared; showing them that there were way greater problems than endless bills and hateful jobs…
People like her – some called them angels, other saints… But Cloud liked to thing she was just pure-hearted and her love knew no limits – suffered and sacrificed themselves to leave us a message. Of hope, of emotions and, above all, of life.
Being there, where he'd always go everyday, he remembered their life together. He played the same small "ritual" of standing there, mentally redoing his vows at their wedding. He'd chose to stick with the standard lines, but modifying them a little bit "I swear to love and honor you in joy and sorrow, in health and sickness, in wealthy and misery even after death do us part." What he'd never dreamed of, when making his vows, was that death would did them part so soon… Then he'd remember their life together.
How, somehow, she always managed to break the comfortable silence between them with a "I love you forevermore, never forget…". Some said it could be a heavy conscience. Though Cloud knew she was just so open that their phrase popped out of her mouth for no reason. And slowly that sweet habit got on him too. Declare your love so spontaneously is a much important part of any relationship, now he understood why…
And he knew he could say without thinking twice that they enjoyed every moment together. From the harder to the funniest ones. Their love was complete by itself and he didn't need her physically anymore to complete him. And, obviously he wished it hadn't ended that way, for a part of him died with her. But he was loved and loved back in fullest, he knows he did. And he still does. This, for itself, is enough. Besides, he needed to take care of their daughter…
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I watched carefully as the little girl got up from the floor, where she sat hugging her knees. Hard to tell whether she was crying or not from this distance. Father and daughter, seeming strangely incomplete there cast one last glance at the grave before leaving the cemetery, hand in hand.
The cemetery, of all places. She was already dead! And for how long? The poor things… Later on, I got to know the whole history – after was welcomed in his circled of friends – I'd remember weeping so hard and so loud. What I wouldn't give to had know this amazing woman. Then I understood what Naminé's words that day on the subway. "Lilies are mom's favorite" justified why they were carrying the flower. And "Today's my birthday" explained why he was accompanied by the child that day.
When they were out of my sight, I approach the delicate grave of purest white marble. There was a medium-sized female angel with huge semi-closed wings and fluttering long toga, barefoot, a lily in the left hand, close to her chest while her other one was stretched out as in an invitation. I analyzed close it's face and resembled a lot the one on the sepia photograph in the tombstone. It had long wavy hair, flying free in a supposed wind, the same direction as the ancient-dress. It had split bangs, some short curls hanging loosely around her face and the upper strands tied behind by what seemed a bow.
I'm absolutely sure it's a marble-angel ordered to resemble the dead lady. The sepia photo, framed by gold, wasn't' alone. On the contrary, the grave is full of photos. Some that particularly catches my attention is one where she appears to be in high school yet, just a close portrait, filled with innocence, where I can see the color of her hair: chocolate with thin artificial honey highlights. Not artificial in the bad sense; her hair was truly gorgeous: shiny, apparently silky and the lighter threads gave it a special, soft glow.
Her eyes were big and green-emerald, like an endless, deep forest. Her skin was light and flawless. The other one I inspected meticulously was one of a huge group of people, with Cloud and a toddler Naminé at the center, together with an ashen, skinny (not the sexy, lean and health shape she had in earlier photos. The lady there was almost literally skin-and-bones) and bald woman in a wheelchair. Her smile was the brightest. Her eyes were the liveliest. They appeared to be in some amusement park.
That sight of her, there, totally decayed and utterly enjoying herself almost made me sick. Me, in her place, would be cursing the whole world for such a horrible fate.
Among the several pictures, I could read one of the most touching epitaphs I've ever seen.
" In loving memory of
Aerith Gainsborough Strife,
The one who was so true.
Beloved daughter, friend, wife and mother.
1979 ~ 2007
I'm glad He set you free from sorrow
But I'll still love you more tomorrow…"
I don't doubt a bit he always will…
By the way, it reminded me of a song. Better search for that after (it was one of her favorites, I discovered later too).
At the middle lay the lily they'd brought her. I gaze at it for some moments as the breeze caressed softly the smooth petals. I feel a kind smile creep through my old lips – and I can easily imagine him doing the same. It was almost as her delicate fingers, that long ago cared for the very same flowers, were tending to them right there, attempting to grab a hold of it.
I sigh, as I decide to finally leave. I already intruded a lot in that man's secrets. I turn and head back, to go home… Some steps after I throw the grave a last glance and blink surprised… It's flat on the ground, right?
The lily actually was gone!
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Soooooooooo...
How you like it? Crying a lot? Well, I must admit I cried much while I was writing it ^^'
First of all, thanks so much JESSE GT. for reviewing it for me! You're an amazing friend *-*
Well, the epitaph thing was a last time add. Hope it's not too corny, but I absolutelly love this song! I have an AMV already planned with it =]
Just in case you're wondering, the song is In Loving Memory, by Alter Bridge.
Please, you were warned that this is a Cloud x Aerith fanfic; bashing is NOT welcome in the least. You want to make a fine criticism about the plot, the writing, feel free, I'm asking for it. But no pair/character bashing will be tolerated.
RESPECT above all else, people!!!
Well, I think that's all... Can quite remember if there was anything more to say ^^'
Hope you liked it, lemme know what you thought =]
Bye bye!!