Hey everybody!!! So this one takes place during 2.09 (after the talk in the car between Wayne and Grace, but before the final scene), so spoilers for that episode. I don't own the Mentalist, but I do own any mistakes that you find in this!!
Enjoy!!
Live in the Moment
Wayne Rigsby hadn't been lying to his girlfriend per say when he told her that he didn't want to talk about their relationship at work and when he said that they would talk soon about the fact that their relationship was a secret from their co-workers and friends. Both these statements were true, but they didn't give the full portrait of what he was thinking.
He wanted nothing more than to forget the rules and yell from the rooftop of CBI headquarters that Grace Van Pelt was his girlfriend. He hated the lying, but he'd continue to lie for the rest of his life if it meant that he would never have to go back to the time before they were dating.
Yet at the same time, he lived in constant fear that they would be found out because he knew it would tarnish her career. He couldn't care less about what they would do to him because nothing would ever make him regret confessing his love for her, but he suspected that they would try and throw the book at her for being involved with a co-worker.
The truth was, Wayne was afraid to tell Grace any of this, but after that awkward conversation in the car, he knew that this conversation couldn't be avoided for any longer.
Grace Van Pelt had not been expecting anyone when she heard a knock on her door. Wayne had told her that he had some stuff to do tonight, but promised to come over to her place tomorrow. Grace suspected that that wasn't the complete truth because she knew he was a little upset by what she had brought up in the car, but she didn't want to push him anymore on the subject – at least not today. Checking in the peephole, she couldn't say she was completely and utterly surprised that her boyfriend was now stood outside her door, holding a takeout bag from the nearby vegetarian restaurant she liked.
She opened the door and he walked in, forgoing their usual kiss greeting and handing her the bag of food.
"A peace offering."
Grace took the bag without replying and headed into her kitchen for plates, leaving Wayne to take off his coat and shoes before heading to her couch. She joined him and sat down, dividing the food up between them. The couple ate in silence, barely looking at one another.
The tension in the room was getting unbearable for them both, but it was Grace who dared to speak first. A sick feeling had been building up within her since he walked in, and she needed to know whether she was right. Placing her plate down on the coffeetable and turning toward him, but not looking directly at him, she asked a simple question:
"Are you breaking up with me?"
Wayne choked on his food and started to cough. As quickly as he could, he said, "NO!!!!" before a thought came to him. Continuing with hesitance, he asked, "Why, do you want to break up with me?"
Somehow, Grace never expected the question to be turned around on her, so she took a little too long to respond. Wayne took her extended pause as a bad sign and his whole body slumped down, not really looking forward to the rest of this conversation. She realized her mistake when she saw the look on his face, so she reached for his face with one hand and forced him to look at her.
"Wayne, I promise you, I DO NOT want to break up with you." He perked up a little bit at her emphasized statement. "We just need to figure out what to do next. You and I both know that this won't stay a secret forever."
Wayne's reply came only in a shrug, which caused Grace to become a little worried.
"Tell me what's bothering you Wayne. You were the same way earlier on when I brought this up in the car."
Wayne pulled away from her, but grabbed onto both her hands, as he couldn't bring himself to look at her while saying this, but he couldn't bear to lose complete contact with her either. Taking a deep breath, he told her what was bothering him.
"I'm afraid that we'll be found out. Cho already knows, but he won't say anything. I think he's probably just glad to not have to hear me mooning over you anymore. I'm certain that Jane knows, and it won't be long before he tells Lisbon, and then she'll have to tell her boss, and then you'll get in trouble. They'll accuse you of trying to sleep your way up the CBI, which could not be any farther from the truth and then you'll get transferred or fired and it will all be my fault because I couldn't keep my feelings for you under control."
Grace let his words settle in her brain before she decided to reply. "I'm not sure which is worse: the fact that you think that they'll try to make me into some kind of slut, or the fact that you seem to think that I'm just some mindless women who pairs off with whoever shows me any attention."
Wayne's head snapped up. "Wait, that's not what I meant…"
"It may not be, but that's how it comes across. Have you forgotten already that I've been a willing participant here? We're both in this relationship together because we want to be."
"I know, it's just that…"
"…you feel responsible for everything bad that happens to the people around you, the people you care about, even when it's not your fault." She finished his sentence for him, knowing exactly what he would be saying. Wayne nodded his head.
"Wayne, I knew going into this that if we got caught, we could both be facing some trouble, that they'd try to paint me as a slut or try to make you out as a womanizer who abused his power…"
Wayne quickly cut her off. "I don't care what they try and throw at me, it's your career I'm worried about."
Grace appreciated his concern for her, but she was worried about what they would do to him because she knew he loved his job so much and he would be crushed if he got fired. "Stop trying to fall on your sword for me, my knight in no Kevlar."
Wayne looked at her, both confused and amused by the label. Grace simply shrugged.
"I just made it up. Never mind. What's important here is that I'm not so sure that anybody on the team will care that much about us: Cho doesn't, Jane knows, I agree with you there, but I think he's probably just happy for us because he's been the one who's made comments about us getting together since the day I joined the team. And I wouldn't be surprised if Lisbon hasn't already figured us out – she knows you're in love with me, even told me that the AG probably knows you're in love with me. And with you not pining for me anymore because we're together, she's probably picked up on the change. She's not one to pry into our personal lives, but I think as long as we keep it out of work, as long as we stay Rigsby and Van Pelt there, I really don't think that she will care that we're Wayne and Grace here. And I haven't even gotten to the most important reason yet."
Grace stopped talking and somewhat lunged at Wayne, wrapping her arms around his upper body and attaching her lips to his. It took Wayne all of a millisecond to respond by gently encircling her with his arms and kissing her back. When they eventually pulled apart, but only at the mouths, Grace put her forehead against his and heaved out:
"I don't care if they find out about us, not anymore. That fear went away the moment I dragged you into an empty office to kiss you. I'm happy exactly where I am. I don't want to let what could happen ruin what is happening. And if, and I do mean if, they come for us, we'll survive. Just stop worrying so much, OK?"
Wayne nodded before kissing her again. "I really do love you Grace."
"I know. Now, my knight in no Kevlar, kindly take me to my bedchamber. I'm tired and wish to cuddle."
Wayne laughed at his strange nickname, but complied. Quickly scooping her up in his arms, he whispered, "Yes, m'lady," before carting her off to her bedroom.
Wayne couldn't promise that he wouldn't continue to worry about what might happen, but Grace was right: there was no reason to let what could happen spoil how he felt right now.
For the rest on the night, both Wayne and Grace focused only on what they were feeling in the moment. Tomorrow could, and would, wait.
Thanks for reading!!!
