Expectations
He'd never expected it to be like this.
He shuffled his feet to move forward a little, as the line progressed slowly. Glancing around, he looked at the other customers in the coffee shop and couldn't help but wonder if they all felt as nervous as he did. He just hoped that coffee might help to calm the butterflies in his stomach.
And it wasn't even the first day yet.
Classes didn't start until tomorrow. What would he be like by then?
He ran over in his mind the things that he had to do today hoping to distract himself from feeling so anxious. Maybe if he kept busy, then the time would pass quickly and things wouldn't seem so scary. Not exactly scary but …..
This was all new.
He'd never started school on his own before.
When he was younger, he'd always had Trey to show him the ropes. Even on his first day at Harbor, he'd had Seth … and Marissa and Summer. But here, he had no one. It wasn't like him to get so strung out, but he knew that the problem all led back to one thing.
Expectations.
The Cohens kept telling him that they just wanted him to enjoy himself, and that they had confidence in him, but in his mind that equated to them expecting him to do well. And he didn't want to disappoint them … to let them down. He owed them so much.
Sometimes when he thought about it, it was overwhelming what they'd done for him.
Taking him in.
Giving him a roof over his head and food for his stomach.
Even the clothes on his back.
But more than that … they'd given him a home.
He had been cautious and slow in opening up to them. It had seemed too good to be true, and he'd been scared that at some point that they'd change their minds … or that he'd screw up and they'd realize that they were better off without him.
The line moved forward.
But even after Marissa, they were there for him … even though he'd done everything in his power to push them away.
He owed them.
Without them he didn't like to think where he'd be right now ….
Certainly not at college.
He moved to the front of the line and ordered his coffee, paid and waited.
"Is this to go?" the young guy behind the counter asked.
Ryan glanced out at the light rain outside and shook his head.
"No. I'll have it here, thanks."
The guy put the take away lid back and handed over the steaming hot coffee.
Ryan readjusted the back pack that was slung loosely over his left shoulder. He picked up his coffee, turning to look for an empty seat, but they were all full. Even all the stools along the wall were taken. He'd have to get used to it, he supposed. It often rained here, and it was likely that the seats would often be all taken. This wasn't Newport. It had been raining ever since he got here. Okay, so that was only two days ago, but still …..
Glancing back outside at the rain, he decided that it wasn't too bad. He'd take his coffee with him and drink it on the way to the bookstore. He hesitated and considered going back for a lid, but the lines were even longer now.
Glancing around again, hoping that he may have missed a vacant seat, he resignedly moved towards the door. He'd get used to this. What had he expected?
Pushing the door open, he stood outside under the overhang of the building and realized the rain was a little heavier than he'd first imagined, and glancing at the sky, it was getting darker.
He considered skipping the bookstore altogether, figuring any text books he bought would probably be ruined by the time he got them back to the dorm anyway. But sitting in his room alone held no appeal either, so he decided on the bookstore. At least he could have a look around.
He huddled into his jacket and stepped out into the rain, then turned his collar up looking for additional protection. The rain was heavier than he'd thought and after only a few paces, he could feel the water soaking into his clothes. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
His shoes were already squelching with every step as he attempted to tread in the shallower puddles.
He really needed to invest in some wet weather gear. Growing up as a child of Southern California, he wasn't prepared for this.
The denim he was wearing grew heavier and heavier, then the cold started to seep through. This was ridiculous. He decided to head back to his room; a hot shower suddenly sounded very appealing. He quickly changed direction and ran smack into someone with an umbrella that was tilted against the weather.
Fortunately, his coffee had cooled a little, since it ended up all over the person in front of him; a female, he realized, as he watched the coffee stain her ample, sweater covered chest.
"I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going," he said instantly, trying to brush off the excess coffee before it caused more damage to the formerly pink sweater, but to little avail. However, he couldn't deny that he was enjoying it, as he watched her nipples spring to life, caused either by the coffee or his touch, or both.
"Shit!" came the instant reply. She tried to move away from him in case there was more coffee coming.
"Lindsay?" Ryan exclaimed as his poor victim lifted the umbrella so that they could finally make eye contact.
"Ryan! I should have expected it would be you. Who else but you would greet me by pouring liquids down my chest?" she asked, exasperated but unable to keep the smile from tweaking the corners of her mouth.
"What are you doing here?"
"Currently, I'm freezing from this cold and wet and yet strangely now, thanks to you, I think that I have blisters forming on my chest."
"I'm so sorry. I was headed to the bookstore. Then I decided this weather was too much, so I was headed back to my room. It's a lot closer, warmer and drier."
"That sounds pretty good right now," Lindsay agreed, pulling the damp, formerly pink, now brown, fabric away from her chest.
"Do you want to come with me? It's just over there," he indicated with his hand a building not far away. "Maybe we can get you cleaned up."
"Sure. Sounds good," she replied, now holding the umbrella over both their heads.
Ryan snuggled under the umbrella, keen to get out of the rain. And who was he kidding; he was pretty keen to get close to her as well. She looked so good.
At first, they walked in silence towards his room, both lost in their own thoughts but taking quick glances at one another trying not to get caught. Of course that was impossible and finally Lindsay gave up.
"You look good," she said smiling.
"You look pretty good yourself," Ryan reciprocated.
"I look better without coffee all over me," she teased.
Ryan liked the idea of being all over her. Somehow he'd always felt like they had unfinished business.
"Maybe you should show me that sometime," he said, leaving the hint of innuendo hanging in the air.
It wasn't lost on Lindsay. Her face broke into a huge smile. She said nothing, but the idea obviously appealed to her.
He wasn't sure what she wanted him to show her. She seemed interested but how interested? Did she think he was suggesting getting together some other time, or was she tuned in to what his male libido had been thinking? He stole another look at her chest, her shirt now clinging to her breasts. They were definitely lustworthy. He hadn't seen her for three years, but boy she looked good.
The rain increased in its intensity and Ryan placed his free arm around her so that they could huddle closer together and get more protection from the umbrella.
"Is this okay?" he asked, as he held her loosely.
"More than okay," she said, smiling coyly.
He tightened his hold.
She smiled some more.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here," Ryan admitted.
"Kirsten told me that you'd applied here, so I thought that we may cross paths."
"I didn't realize that you still kept in touch."
"Just birthdays and Christmas, that sort of thing," she explained.
"Uh huh."
They arrived at Ryan's building and he hated to let her go, even if it was just to open the door. He would have walked in the rain for hours if it meant that he could keep his arm around her.
Ryan led the way and they quickly arrived at his room. He took the dripping umbrella from her hand.
"Make yourself at home. I'll just go and put this in the tub and get some towels," he said, before disappearing into the bathroom.
Grabbing a couple of the fluffy white towels that Kirsten had insisted on buying for him, he made his way back into his room only to stop dead in his tracks at the view in front of him.
Lindsay had stripped off the now ruined sweater and was in the process of pulling the sodden jeans from her legs.
She glanced up at him and smiled as she took in his dropped jaw.
"What? Did you expect me to stay in my wet clothes?" she asked as she stood before him in nothing but a powder blue bra and matching g string, "It's not like you haven't seen it all before."
Ryan gulped. She was right; he had seen it before. But still, he hadn't been expecting …..
He stood rooted to the spot as he tried to regain his composure.
"Is one of those towels for me?" Lindsay asked, startling him.
"Um. Yeah. Sorry," Ryan muttered, handing both over to her.
"Aren't you going to get out of your wet things?" Lindsay asked. "You don't want to start the year off with a cold."
"Um, no," Ryan agreed, but still found it difficult to move. He had a raging hard on and the thought of pulling his pants off right now, while appealing on many levels, would also be embarrassing.
Lindsay hadn't covered up at all. She was using the towel to dry the ends of her hair, that hair that still fell like silk over her shoulders. It was the color of burnt copper and he wanted to bury himself in it ..…
"Would you like me to help?" Lindsay asked, stepping forward towards him.
He jumped from her touch.
"I'm fine," he suggested pulling back. His erection was growing and was threatening to drain all the blood from the rest of his body.
"Yes, you are," she agreed, "but we still need to get you out of those wet clothes," she said, not accepting any argument.
She had him backed up against the wall, and proceeded to remove his jacket and t-shirt, dropping them on the floor. She took the dry towel and gently rubbed his torso dry, taking her time and admiring the view as her hands reacquainted themselves with his body.
Her hand ghosted over his throbbing dick, once too often for it to be accidental, he realized.
"I think that we should get you out of these too," she said, indicating his pants and pulling at his belt.
"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Ryan muttered.
He couldn't seem to be able to take his eyes from her chest. Those perfect orbs were drawing him in like a tractor beam.
"I think that it's a very good idea," Lindsay replied, undoing the button on his jeans and sliding down the zipper. She noticed that Ryan was barely breathing, and following his gaze, she looked down at her bra, noticing that the coffee had seeped through and stained it.
She gasped.
"Shit. This is a favorite of mine. I should soak it so that it doesn't stain further," she said. She quickly reached behind and unhooked her bra, freeing those mounds that Ryan was transfixed with.
Whatever blood that had been left elsewhere in his body seemed to rush instantly to his dick until it was throbbing so hard it hurt, being bent over and constrained in his pants. He needed to release it.
Lindsay took the bra into the bathroom while Ryan moved his hand downwards in an attempt to adjust himself for relief. She was gone only a moment and when she returned, she caught him with his hand buried inside his boxers trying to rearrange things.
"You need to get those jeans off," she instructed him simply. "It's not healthy to keep it restricted when it's like that," she informed him, as if it was obvious.
The only thing that was obvious to Ryan was that there was a good chance that he might come if she touched him.
He had never expected this.
She moved towards him and slowly eased his pants from his hips, taking the boxers down at the same time until they caught on his boots.
"You need to get out of those as well. Can't you do anything for yourself? How did you manage in Newport without me?" she joked.
Ryan pushed off his boots like an automaton. He wasn't sure if this was really happening, but he wasn't about to stop it. He stepped out of his damp jeans and boxers and stood in front of her, using his hands in a pathetic attempt to cover his manhood.
"Don't be shy," she said softly, hooking her fingers into her g string and pulling it off. "There. Is it better if I'm naked too?" she asked, her voice comforting and extremely hot at the same time.
Ryan tried to speak but nothing came out.
He really had never expected this.
"Would you like me to help you with that?" Lindsay asked, indicating his raging hard on. "I've learned a few things since I last saw you," she offered.
Ryan almost lost it on the spot; he felt his knees go weak. He had no idea what the 'things' were, but he was certainly eager to find out. Was this really the same girl that he'd dated back in junior year?
"Um … sure. I mean if you're sure … then … yeah," he managed to get out, still stunned by what was happening.
He really, really never expected this.
"Why don't you get on the bed? You seem a little unsteady, and I'm expecting a good performance. I didn't spend all that time in Chicago researching techniques just to have you flake out on me on our first encounter."
"You what …?" Ryan got out, more stunned than ever but grateful for the bed now under him. There was every chance that his legs would have given out soon.
"You have to know that I wasn't over you when I left Newport. But what did you expect? I was sixteen. I had to go with my mom. But I always hoped that our paths would cross again and that we'd be able to finish what we'd started. And I didn't want to be at a disadvantage if and when it happened. You were a lot more experienced than me back then. So I decided to try and catch up."
Ryan just stared at her wondering where this was all going.
"Okay, so it's mostly been from research in the library, but I've had a few test cases just to put my newfound knowledge to good use and they've all given me top marks. I guess that it's time to see if it was all worth it."
Ryan gulped again as she pushed him back on the bed and sat astride him.
Never in a million years had he expected this.
"Holy fuck!" Ryan exclaimed. He had thought that when she'd brought the stars to his eyes that that would be the end of it, but then she'd done something with her internal muscles … clenched and twisted or something, and he thought that his dick would explode….and it did; over and over and over until he was scared that it was convulsing or something. It was his, after all, but he never knew that it could do that.
He didn't think that guys were supposed to have multiple orgasms, but maybe he was wrong. He lay there totally spent, then after a while, the guilt crept in. He realized that he had no idea what state Lindsay was in. He'd let her take the lead and lead she had … until he couldn't think straight anymore. He didn't even know if she'd gotten off or not …. and if she hadn't yet, he owed it to her to get her there, and more than once.
She'd expect it.
But how was he going to do it when there was nothing left in him? His body felt like jelly. He was sure that his balls had shrunk to raisins and his dick had curled over and fallen asleep thoroughly exhausted. He finally opened his eyes, and realized gratefully that she was spent as well.
"Where did you learn that?" he asked softly.
"You like?" she asked smiling.
"I like," he agreed.
"I like a lot," he added for emphasis.
"I always knew that books were grossly underrated. Reading is a wonderful thing. I expect that we'll get even better with practice."
"I'm not sure that I'm up for practice right now, but let me rest, then count me in."
She snuggled up beside him as they both drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
Ryan woke some time later and realized that she wasn't beside him anymore. Glancing up, he watched as she redressed in her still damp clothes.
"What are you doing?"
"I have to go, my roommate's expecting me," she explained.
"Can I see you again?" Ryan asked, propping himself up on his elbows.
She looked up from putting on her shoes and smiled.
"I hope so. I was sort of expecting it."
"Good. So when?" he asked. He couldn't wait.
She giggled.
"There's no hurry. We're at college together. I expect that we'll see each other all the time."
"You know that's not what I meant. I want to spend more time with you. Hell, I want to spend all my time with you!" he laughed.
"I expect you will," she replied.
"What?" Ryan quizzed, not making sense of what she was saying.
"We're taking the same courses and I checked, you're in most of my classes," she explained.
"Who would have expected that?" Ryan exclaimed in surprise.
"I would. Why do you think I applied to Berkeley?"